THE STARK FIST OF REMOVAL
ISSUE # 03-2000
AIIIIEEEEE! But it has been a busy month or three INDEED since last we issued forth in this "Online Fist" format. What with our busy RepentertainmentTM schedules, trying to save those last few hundred thousand souls from CondageTM before XXX-DayTM, we've worked every available ZombobTM night and day through this mass-HTMLing job, and even had to supplement the main office Dobbshead Online SystemTM with this cheesy Microsoft replacement seen at left.
THE CONSPIRACYTM THINKS IT CAN OWN EVERYTHING! We must stop TheymTM... even if it means owning EVERYTHING ELSETM!
The immediate struggle is to publish one more physically real "print FIST" newsletter before the Xists vacate the premises -- presumable with we dues-paying Ministers aboard . Read the IMMEDIATE CHURCH NEWS and learn how you can help, and be part of this titanic last-minute effort at changing ALL EARTH HISTORY retroactively! DON'T USE "BOB" AS A CRUTCH!! -- let him use you as a crutch.
Towards that end, with this issue we are unveiling perhaps the most powerful weapons yet unleashed in our historic struggle against the Normals:
TRANSLATIONS of PRIMARY SUBGENIUS PROPAGANDA into FRENCH, SPANISH, and ITALIAN.
What prompted this outreach was the SubGenius Field Trip to Holland for the
AMSTERDAM DOKSTOK 2000
-- the repercussions of which make for quite an interesting in-depth flame war photo-feature.
Did you know that there is a SUBGENIUS NEWS EMAIL LIST?
Email JESUS and ask to be added.
DESPERATELY IMMEDIATE CHURCH NEWS
helpful hints 'n tips
CHURCH IRC CHAT devivals
SUBGENIUS NET RADIO
Don't panic, Old SUbSITE is still there. We WILL be gradually removing chunks of it from the Web, staring with the older devival photos and art mines sections. But if you're concerned about missing one of the 9,000 files, you can now BUY Old SubSITE on CD-Rom.
Hey, Subs! ...(and you lurking Normals)... Quotestream is a cool FREE news service that will scroll personally customized news as it happens. You can customize it very specifically to monitor your own special branches of the Conspiracy,to get instant UFO invasion news, or to be alerted in the event of major scientific "discoveries" such as Yeti capture. Best of all, we get big bucks just for you looking at their site. - Thanks for clicking. JC
ADULTS ONLY: earn the Church $ per click by checking out these two SPECIALTY PORN SITES:
XXXSPACEGIRLS.COM and WWW.HORRORSEX.COM
DO YOUR PART FOR DECENCY! KEEP THIS SICK PORNO BANNER OFF OUR HOLY RELIGIOUS WEBSITE for only $250/month! Or rent your own ad space to replace it. Write to firstname.lastname@example.org for details.
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If you have a complaint with this site, shut your yap, or join the ranks of SubSITE SLAVES: I, Stang, Jesus "Steve" Christ, IrRev. Friday Jones, RevBroVT and Rev. Boddhisatva Troutwaxer!
Plastic Model Kit "Bob" by Stang; other art this page by IrRev. Friday Jones.