Here, then, is the complete text of the incoming mail surrounding Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite's involvement in LEMURIA RISING. It includes messages from co-conspirator Rev. Dr. Crawford Smith, posts to alt.slack, Lemurian reference material from accross the Web, notes on the fake e-mail addresses employed by Onan and Crawford to stir up trouble among local rival cultists, disaster reports from the censored 1999 Boston devival, etc.

Mike White is the author of some of the material appearing on this page and his site is http://all-ez.com/cayce.index.html

To: onan@subgenius.com
Subject: atlantis.html

Atlantis, Lemuria and Mu<

<LI>(There was war in Atlantis between Alta and Quoauda against the sons of Baalilal.) but Alta, Zeus, Zephyrus, and the recorder of Alta were friends<P> <LI>Gizeh - the place for the initiates and their gaining by personal application and by the journey or journeys through the various activities - as in the ceremonial actions of those that became initiates, it became very fitting (to those as in Ra, and those of Ra Ta Ra) that there should be the crowning or placing of this symbol of the record, and of the initiates place of activity, by one who represented both the old and the new; on representing then the Sons of Law in Atlantis, Lemuria, Oz and Og.<P> <LI>Activities of the entity who sealed with the seal of the Alta and Atlanteans <P> <LI>The Record Temple of Atlantis will rise with the change.<P> <LI>(Cayce again tells of an Atlantean city &quot;just beyond the Great Pyramid&quot;.)<P> <LI>(Atlantis) because of the desires for activities in which the baser metals, the baser activities might be turned into use for pleasures of the sons of Belial.<P> <LI>Iltar and ten others left Atlantis for the Yucatan.<P> <LI>That now being found, and a portion already discovered that has laid in waste for many centuries, was then a combination of those peoples from Mu, Oz and Atlantis.<P> <LI>The stones that are circular, that were of the magnetized influence upon which the Spirit of the One spoke to those peoples as they gathered in their service, are of the earliest Atlantean activities in religious service.<P> <LI>The Atlantean records should be opened by former Atlanteans.<P> <LI>Atlantean records between Sphinx and Pyramid of Records<P> <LI>The records informs that we're partially of the old characters of the ancient or early Egyptian, and part in the newer form of the Atlanteans. (Hieratic)<P> <LI>As was set in those records of the Law of One in Atlantis, that there would come three that would make of the perfect way of life.<P> <LI>Apex-el (Atlantean) first to begin library at Alexandria. (Founded as Deosho)<P> <LI>Apex-el, an Atlantean settled in the Pyrenees - And there still may be seen in the chalk cliffs there in Calais - their religious activities. He also began library of Alexandria, 10,300 BC. Evidence yet to be found &quot;about&quot; Alexandria.<P> <LI>When permission is granted to search for sacred records of Atlanteans.<P> <LI>(Someone should examine the manuscripts from the Edison Lab, especially that of Corelli, and Steinmetz and Steuer.) All Atlanteans!<P> <LI>(There are healing powers in the waters off Bimini, Changes near the site of the soon to be found Atlantis.)<P> <LI>that there would come three that would make of the perfect way of life. (They achieved balance in their spiritual, their mental, their material experiences. They may proclaim the Atlantean records.)<P> <LI>(Atlantis lies west and south of Bimini.)<P> <LI>(Three hundred years ago Jacob Boehne decreed Atlantis would rise again - at Pisces to Aquarius.)<P> <LI>(The records of Atlantis will be open) to those that are the initiates in the knowledge of the One God.<P> <LI>(Iltar the Atlantean leader of the Maya built the first temple, it will rise above the sea again.)<P> <LI>(Evidence of Atlantis can be found in the Pyrenees and Morocco, and in British Honduras, Yucatan, and America.)<P> <LI>(Atlantis during its highest point was in the southern portion of South America and the Artic, and Siberia, and also in Hudson Bay.)<P> <LI>(In Atlantis, Adam was called Amilius.)<P> <LI>(Atlantis had gas balloons)<P>
<LI>(Cayce gave the Dodge family as backers for an Atlantis expedition.)<P> <LI>(A Temple in the Yucatan is &quot;overshadowing&quot; the location of the Atlantean records. These records contain the history and sciences of the Atlanteans.)<P> <LI>(The slaves of the Atlanteans were called &quot;things&quot;.)<P> <LI>(Hept-Supht - 378 - the Atlantean builder, and keeper of records.)<P> <LI>(Before the red Atlanteans came the native Egyptians were of the yellow race.)<P> <LI>the destruction of Lemuria, Atlantis, and in later periods - the flood.<P> <LI>(The slaves of the Atlanteans, the &quot;things&quot; were &quot;merely automatons&quot;.)<P> <LI>Atlantis : An interpreter of those influences received from the White Stone in the Temple - An interpreter between the Creative Forces - or the Spirit - and the flesh. Hence the highly intuitive forces, the abilities to arouse the centers from which emotions arise; as well as the sensitivity to spirit and mind.<P> <LI>The stones that are circular, that were of the magnetized influence upon which the Spirit of the One spoke to those peoples as they gathered in their service, are of the earliest Atlanteans. (I wonder if he refers to those large stone spheres that are found in Costa Rica today?)<P> <LI>The Atlantean settlers of Yucatan later moved north to become &quot;the Mound Builders&quot;.<P> <LI>Atlantis will be found south and west of Bimini.<P> <LI>700 readings mention Atlantis.<P>
<LI>The no. 364 series of thirteen readings, given in response to a request for a general lecture on Atlantis in 1932.<P> <LI>Atlantis: The maker of that which produced the elevators and connecting tubes that were used by compressed air and steam and the metals in their emanations - especially as to things controlled by the facet for the radiation activity of the sun on metals and control of such and airships.<P> <LI>The second generation of Atlanteans who struggled northward from Yucatan, settling in what is now of portion of Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio; being among those of the earlier period known as Mound Builders. A site called Koster in Illinois reveals the people that became the Mound Builders.<P> <LI>The entity joined with those who were active in putting records in forms that were partially of the ancient or early Egyptian and part in the newer form of the Atlanteans.<P> <LI>Part of the Atlantean Record was discovered and rejected by the same Pharaoh that hindered Moses.<P> <LI>(Cayce speaks of Atlanteans as &quot;thought people&quot;, and tells us that the bodies of people in the Ra-Ta period of Egypt - 10,000 BC were less dense.)<P> <LI>The &quot;Atlantean Road&quot; had been cited by Dr. Zink off Paradise Point. - 20 ft. deep<P> <LI>some ninety-eight thousand years before the entry of Ram into India - there lived in this land of Atlantis one Amilius - who noted the separation of man into the male and female.<P> <LI>(Atlantis) that record in the rocks still remains.<P> <LI>The Great Deluge of 28000 BC (or 22600 BC), of Noah, was the 2nd eruption of Atlantis.<P> <LI>Minimize the faults in others, magnify their virtue! It is measured to thee again. There are those accredited influences from the Zodiacal experiences or planetary influence. Being an Atlantean as well as an Uranian. (Different planets in the Zodiacal sign changes much; when Jupiter is in Leo or Libra a man was told to act, but not with Saturn or Uranus.) (There were 8 souls on the Ark.) Japheth was also the brother of the pirate Jean Lefitt. For, that which in nature aids the individual man to Fulfill His purpose towards the Creative Influence, or God, is fulfulling its mission in the material world. Know that all that takes place or that takes form in the mind is prompted by the Spirit of Truth or the Spirit of Rebellion.<P> <LI>The entity was in the Inca land when there had been the journeyings of the Atlantean peoples for setting up what later came to be known as the Incal activities. A leader in setting up the customs, rituals and activities in that land following the destruction of Atlantis.<P> <LI>(Atlanteans) sought forms of minerals - and being able to be that the mineral was, hence much more capable - in the psychic or occult force, or power - to classify, or make same in its own classifications.<P> <LI>(God took Enoch up to Heaven when he lived in Atlantis.)<P> <LI>in those periods when in the Atlantean land there were the separations of sex from the individual entity, the gratification. (Adam and Eve?)<P> <LI>In the Temple of Oz in Atlantis - were the mysteries of the black arts as applied in the experience practiced by Saail.<P> <LI>from Atlantis much of what may be made from the electron music where color, vibration, activities make for toning same with the emotions of individuals or peoples that may make for their temperaments being changed.<P> <LI>the Atlanteans obtained all their power from cosmic forces.<P> <LI>(Atlantis) the mighty crystal, whose prisms could gather and harness the incredible energies in the rays from far-off Arcturus or the Sun.<P> <LI>364-4 (Describes the lost Atlantis as) this, the Eden of the world.<P> <LI>Ajax, the teacher from Atlantis; Saneid, from India; Yak, from Carpathia; and the venerated Tao, from Mongolia (Gobi)<P> <LI>378- (This is the number of Hept-sepht, he who keeps shut the ancient records of Atlantis.) Who sealed with the seal of the Alta and Atlanteans.<P> <LI>night-side forces employed by the Atlanteans in relation to energy-controlling principles.<P> <LI>(Atlantean Records) about 11 by 14 inch, about an inch thick - clay tablets with hieroglyphics - also a mummy - brought back here by an expedition that had been sent out by our Association - A.R.E. members present were Mr. Harrison, Mr. Parker, Mr. Johnson, Mr. Goetz, and Wynne, Butler, Poole, David Kahn, Edgar Evans Cayce, and Hugh Lynn. Then the mummy came to life! (Hugh Lynn is now dead.)<P> <LI>(Arizona and Utah) the place of refuge from Mu, and the upper or first activities of the Atlantean - cave dwelling dealers of stones and metals.<P> <LI>1741 - (Talks of Atlantean farming methods.)<P> <LI>Mu in the southern portions of that now called California and Mexico and southern New Mexico.<P> <LI>What was left of Lemuria, or Mu - in which is now lower California, portions of the valleys of death - journeyed there to see, to know.<P> <LI>(Mu settlers in Oregon, gave the totem the family tree.)<P> <LI>though the Incals were themselves the successors of those of Oz, or Og, in the Peruvian land, and Mu in the southern portions of that now called California and Mexico and southern New Mexico.<P> <LI>The pyramid, the altars before the doors of the varied temple activities, was an injection from the people of Oz and Mu.<P> <LI>(South California and South New Mexico were settled by Lemurians.)<P> <LI>a cave in the ancient and arid plateau region of the American Southwest - once a portion of the now sunken continent of Lemuria - cave drawings there are ten million years old!<P> </UL>

Date: Fri, 2 Apr 1999 21:21:24 -0800 (PST) From: Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> X-Sender: box2321@shell2.aracnet.com

Subject: Physician Assisted Suicide

While talking with St. Nikitta Gardner just now, I fleshed out one of the 'skits.' The MC says it's time for the physician assisted suicide and asks for a volunteer. Several dumbasses of course want to die. The one who PAYS US the most gets the privilage, the rest leave the stage ('you think it's cheap to kill people in oregon? heck, living is free, dying is expensive!) (maybe we should have someone in a devil suit with a pitchfork to usher people on and off stage). The victim is hooked up to a suicide machine. If it works and they die, we're all fucked. If it doesn't work (likely, as it's just a stage prop), we tell them "you lacked faith, if you had more faith you'd be dead by now." End of skit, devil escorts another sucker off stage.

I'm of the mind to tell you EVERYTHING about this show, since you're one of the funniest fellers in town and can make it even more funnier.

Finally, anything you CC to <lemuria@box2321.com> goes into a special mailbox I'm setting up for show notes, plans, etc.

- O.

Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> The SubGenius Answer Man Member Since 1982 | 'Revelation X' Co-Author | Attended X-Day 1998 Send One Dollar to http://www.subgenius.com/ for Eternal Salvation

Subject: XX-Day
Message-ID: <Pine.LNX.4.10.9904051056001.14924-100000@shell2.aracnet.com> Followup-To: Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> default-composer-hdrs=From: Onan Canobite MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII

I've always associated XX-Day with the "XX" cartoon caracters have over their eyes when they are drunk or dead. Keep this in mind for graphix.

- O.

Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> The SubGenius Answer Man Member Since 1982 | 'Revelation X' Co-Author | Attended X-Day 1998 Send One Dollar to http://www.subgenius.com/ for Eternal Salvation

To: onan@subgenius.com
From: Theo Bibbins <bibbins@uniserve.com> Subject: Devival.

Dearest Rev. Canobite,

Please keep me updated regarding the developments of June's Portland devival. I'd sure like to haul down a crack-team of abomidable sled-driven Canadian Subgenii from Vancouver for the festivities.

A veritable hail of thank-yous,

-Rev. Theodore Bibbins,

Subgenius Ambassador of Ill Will to the Great White Northern Wastes.

[To Jesus, CC Crawford & Stang]

On Wed, 14 Apr 1999, Steve Bevilacqua wrote:
>It would greatly help your devival if I knew what was going on so I could promote it, send you adress labels for a mailout, send contracts for Stang, discuss his fees, get plane tickets and hotel room.

The WWW page for the Devival has updates as I make them at...


... everything you see there is pretty much everything I know logistically. Good club, good acts, promotion beginning, should work out just fine.

I (Onan) am the instigator, Crawford Smith is my ass kicker.

I'd very much appreciate address labels for Washington, Oregon, California, maybe Western Canada (at least Vancouver BC) if you can define it that narrowly. That would be great. Or do national/global mailings work better? You know more about this than I do. I'd guess an emphasis on the region plus mailings to Doktors is most efficient.

St. Crawford is buying Stang's ticket here and back (keep the receipt, Crawford, for the Harvest after the show). I've asked The Kooks Museum (aka Castle Nenslo) if Stang can stay there - I'm guessing, strongly, yes, but won't guarantee it until I can guarantee it. I have guaranteed "some" of the door to Stang - this is a seat of the pants affair and I'd rather underestimate than overestimate what I'll be able to do for him. I know this is his job and I want to make sure he gets paid. What would make it possible for you to come as well to be Swaggart of the Swag table?

The 'acts' so far should be very good and the club (Berbatis) is one of the best in town.

My # is onan@subgenius.com; write or call if you have any questions or if I need to provide something more.

- O.

Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> The SubGenius Answer Man Member Since 1982 | 'Revelation X' Co-Author | Attended X-Day 1998 Send One Dollar to http://www.subgenius.com/ for Eternal Salvation

To: Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com>
cc: lemuria@box2321.com
Subject: Crawford Itinerary
Message-ID: <Pine.LNX.4.10.9904141428440.20607-100000@shell2.aracnet.com> MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII

2 jul
delta flight 136 12:35 pm atlanta 8:10 pm delta flight 1262 10:00 pm buffalo 11:57 pm

6 july
delta flight 1585 6:30 am cincinnati 8:03 am delta flight 51 9:25 am portland 11:05 am


To: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <i.stang@subgenius.com> From: Crawford Smith <atom@teleport.com> Subject: Fly the Sinister Skies

Very shortly, a ticket should be winging it's way to you via the Sacred P.O. Box. You're booked on (I hate to say it) CONtinental leaving Dallas on Wednesday, June 9 at 10am and arriving in glorious Portland at 2:17pm. Returning on Sunday, June 13 at 2:40pm, arriving in Dallas at 10:45pm. The tickets should be there by the middle of next week. If there's any problems, let me know. Hi-ho.



Subject: Cult Alert in Portland


My name is Walter Bergstrom and I have something of importance I wish to alert you to. It is a religious cult called the "Church of the Subgenius". While not as well known as Scientology or the Unification Church, it is a growing mind-control cult that represents a threat to our impressionable youth. The Subgenius church makes a practice of targeting high-school and college students for recruitment, encouraging them to renounce there faith and background and follow the anti-social teachings of their leader, a man named Bob Dobbs.

What is particularly alarming is that this cult is planning a recruiting drive here in Portland. They call these events "devivals" and they are used to lure the unwary into joining there cult with a lot of flashy showmanship and slick talking. This "devival" is already planned to take place this June, and I feel that something should be done to alert the community to the danger this represents.

A website has been set up that details what these "devivals" are all about and the threat they pose. The URL is :

Particularly alarming are stories of young men and women who join this cult at these devivals and immediately leave there homes to follow the Subgenius church. This happened last year to a young man from Portland named Tim Troutwater, who left following a devival in Seattle, and hasn't been seen by his family since.

We are trying to let people know what can be done to stop the spread of this dangerous cult in our our town. We intend to inform the community via newspapers, TV stations and any other means that we can use. I hope we can count on you in supporting this effort to keep a dangerous influence out of Portland. Please e-mail me at promisekeeper@geocities.com for more information. Thank you.


-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==---------- http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own

From: wandasam@yahoo.com (Wanda Samuels) Newsgroups: pdaxs.religion.christian
Subject: Re: Cult Alert in Portland

I am so glad to see that somebody else is afraid of this! My parents are all excited about going to that stupid "Subgenius" cult show and I thought I was all alone. They just think it's a funny book that their pot dealer gave them but it gives me the creeps. I thought my friends were cool but they think "Subgenius" is funny too, and now my guidance councelor is full up talking to people about those people getting shot - I'll bet they thought "Subgenius" was funny too. Isn't there anybody who can help me? - Wanda Samuels

**** Posted from RemarQ - http://www.remarq.com - Discussions Start Here (tm) ****

<p>this is a report from Lou, Manyeti at Large....pass it on. <p><b>So here I am, listening in on the normals a radio talk show called&nbsp; "Talk of the Nation" many topics ect. a more "intellectual" version of the a.m. talks. National Public radio and all.</b><b></b> <p><b>anyway, the topic is Parental Responsibility vis-a-vis the colorado shooting, many uptight&nbsp; calls ect.</b><b></b> <p><b>THEN.</b>
<br><b>"joe" calling from Boston, a strident voice of concerned pinkness. He is worried about the internet and how these guys had a link on their page (the shooter guys page that is) to one of these doomsday cult,, the Holocaustals, and how they had stuff on their site about "killing normals, and pipes and bombs and stuff..</b><b></b> <p><b>My ears pricked up (yes i have pricks on my ears) and then he described in worried anguish, about how these people</b> <br><b>( the Holocaustals) were going to have a&nbsp; celebration, a devival they called RIGHT THERE IN HIS OWN TOWN! our caller was so worried that he even mentioned the restaurant where it would be happening.....</b> <p>Perhaps someone could do the same in the apropriate week for the PDX event.

From: Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> X-Sender: box2321@shell2.aracnet.com
Reply-To: Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> To: Crawford Smith <atom@teleport.com>
cc: lemuria@box2321.com
Subject: E-Mail the Christians






- O.

Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> The SubGenius Answer Man Member Since 1982 | 'Revelation X' Co-Author | Attended X-Day 1998 Send One Dollar to http://www.subgenius.com/ for Eternal Salvation

From: fakhroddin@public-enemy.com
Newsgroups: pdaxs.religion.moslem
Subject: Re: Cult Alert in Portland

Portland is a wicked city: Salmon Rushdie comes in May, the Subgenius cult comes in June... perhaps Satan will come in July. - Fakhroddin al-Iraqi <fakhroddin@public-enemy.com>

From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)


That's right, the evil cowardly Sand Nigger who owns the Middle East in Cambridge has decided that because a bunch of hysterical media-frenzied assholes have accused the Church of being affiliated with the Trenchcoat Mafia, that he will NEVER allow a SubGenius event there again.

With NO evidence, this immigrant scum has convicted Friday of MURDER, and sentenced her to SEVERE FINANCIAL HARDSHIP, since she has already spent HUNDREDS of dollars on airfare and advertising.

Ivan Stang has already been flown there, only to discover he won't be PAID for the trip. Shit, I wrote a sermon, spent my preachers fee, packed a bag, and SHAVED MY FUCKING HEAD for this devival, and I'm STILL not nearly as FUCKED by the situation as Friday.

If ANY of you want to help Friday out, even if you could just say, "Hey, I'm going to send Friday a few bucks for her rent and groceries", it'd be a really FINE way of showing the Con Pigs and their Sand-Nigger DUPE that we mutants TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN.

Friday Jones has ALWAYS comported herself as a True Bastion Of Yeti Female Purity, and has been an INVALUABLE ASSET to our Church for many years; her help in organizing the X-Day events (even going so far as to bare her mighty ivory TEATS for Dobbs) have helped make those events the HUGE SUCCESSES they've been. And shit, anyone who attended the LAST Boston Devival can testify that it was probably the greatest devival EVER.

Friday took a HUGE chance investing all her money to throw a big-ass party for us all, and if this GARBAGE makes her take the fall, THE CON WINS.


Write to friday@subgenius.com, and she'll send you the address you can mail donations to.

Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi

From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones)
WARNING: NPR mention of SubGenius devivial in Mass... Date: Wed, 28 Apr 1999

In article <37261047.43B51985@netzero.com>, zomboid@netzero.com wrote:

>I was listening to NPR (occasionally I HEAR the Voice of BOB on this particular station so sue me) and some crazy bible-thumper got on the talk show that was talking about the Columbine High Massacre and making links betwixt the Bobbies and the Massacre, (allegedly based on some now-non-existant web links to some "Holocaust" group) ...

>He said something along the lines of "The bodies are still warm and these sickos are having a devivial Friday night at some restaurant in Cambridge, the Middle East or something..."

>I dunno but this sounds like a vague advertisement for unwelcome NON-weirdos at aforementioned devivial so BEWARE!!
>Watch out for those NORMALS!

In completely related news, the Boston Devival at the Middle East has been CANCELLED!!!!
I need space for Friday night and I need it NOW! 100+ people, sound system preferred but not essential, proximity to Middle East excellent bonus! PLEASE contact me!
And no, this is NOT a joke.

- FJ


From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones) Newsgroups: alt.slack

In article <dL%V2.445$Ie6.381483@WReNphoon4>, terrygibson@rocketmail.com (Terry Gibson) wrote:

>Jeese, I think there's a message here for those who care to pay attention to it.

The message is that the Boston Devival

We have a new, SLACKFUL venue! Old Cambridge Baptist Church, 1151 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge! Just a 15-minute walk from the Middle East, or take the Number 1 bus towards Harvard Square and get off at the park in front of the college.
NEW TIME! Show starts at 8 pm and ends at 11 pm!


*** SLAK WARS - EPISODE 1:THE SUBGENIUS MENACE *** XX-Day Militia Recruitment Devival, April 30, 1999
Middle East, Cambridge - 9:00 PM, $10, 18+
Stang/Legume/Meyer/Papa Joe
Bill T. Miller/Brother Cleve Dunkan
Visit http://www.fridayjones.com for details

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>
Subject: Big Brother is Watching Us... right now! Content-Type: text/plain;

The authorities of the Cambridge area have come to the conclusion that we are a hate group, and they have combed through not only the official SubG site, but also all the Holocaustal sites, and everyone else's sites too. So far they have found what they consider to be an extreme amount of "hate-filled propaganda". They do not think any of it is funny. It is believed, but not confirmed that they are also currently monitoring alt.slack. So: Dude, everybody act cool; the cops are here, man. Just let us do the talking, we're more sober than you. Everybody hide yer pipes, get yer clothes back on, and turn that music down fer chrissake!

From: ttman@tiac.net
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: The UnBoston Devival
Date: Sat, 01 May 1999 04:10:07 GMT

Special thanks to Friday Jones, Ivan Stang, K'tadem Legume, and Pappa Joe Mamma for making the trek up to Boston and presenting us with your wonderful sermons.

Like the wandering Jews, the SubGeni were not only kicked out of the Middle East, but were turned away by the Baptist Church which so graciously offered to host the event. It is my understanding that the Old Cambridge Baptist Church had no say in the matter - it was an order from somewhere up higher in their chain o' command.

Regardless, the SubGeni faithfuls showed up and stood up proud. And then sat down (but still proud).

Rumor has it that it was a SubGeni among us who made the ill fated call to NPR that got all this shit started in motion to begin with. But you know what folks? I'm damn proud of him. Only a SubGeni would have the ovaries/balls to make a joke at a time like this, and only a true SubGeni would have gotten it.

May I remind of you the Church motto as stated in the Info. Packet printed in circa 1980 states: "Fuck em' if they can't take a joke."

May I also draw your attention to those card carryin' members out there: look at the bottom of your Ministry card. It says at the bottom of the back side, "The Church is not responsible for his actions."

But never mind all that. Because I am also damn proud of Friday Jones. It takes alot of time and energy to organize a simple devival. Nevermind a whole hell of alot of bullshit like this.

My personal apologies to Friday: I am sorry I couldn't have given more. If you get another Devival organized, I will gladly try to make it. Thank you again for making this night memorable.

One more closing thought. When will the normals realize that it's not what kids listen to or what groups they belong to that makes them killers. It's the GUNS in their hands.

Rev. "Bus Stop Pest"

From: okmr905@aol.com90.5FM (OKMR905)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: "Pinks walking past the Cambridge Baptist Church" Lines: 23

One of my most slackful moments this year was watching pinks walk past the outside of the church where the banned-Church of the Subgenius itself was blairing anti-BoB and Kill-BoB propaganda on itself even after pondering if July 5, 1998 had passed yet, while being illuminated by a city of Cambridge police crusier's spot light willingly as a "favor"!

Stang's brilliant insight floored the flock as we all looked at the Cambridge Baptist Church as a "Y0K" (Y-Zero-K) problem! Delight took over again as money was funneled towards a well deserving Rev. Friday Jones and "praise Bob, Kill Bob" was freely flowing towards Mass Ave and many bewildered passers by! PRAISE BOB!!!

Thanks Rev. BusStopPest for the microcassette deck recording of this tremendous event! It's now in the OrKillMeRadio90.5FM's archives for broadcast in Sherman, NY on XX Day, driect from that very same microcassette deck!

>>Pimps in da front
>>Ho's in da back
>>An' chumps in da trunk

"Or Kill Me Radio" 90.5FM Sherman, NY

From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,ne.general
Subject: Cambridge Politician tries to stop SubGenius Devival Date: 1 May 1999 15:03:14 GMT
Organization: First Online Church of "Bob" Lines: 140

First of all, I must make it clear that these are truly the End Times, brothers and sisters and othergenders. We are living in an age of miracles, and I am proud to say that the Church of the SubGenius has its very own living miracle, with the name of Irreverend Friday Jones. She busted her ass -- AND her savings -- organizing the Boston Devival, which promised to be the biggest thing to hit Cambridge since last year's show, when we sold out the Middle East club. She paid for the club fee, the plane fares for the preachers, the advertising, and damn near everything else. AND, when the chips hit the fan and things started getting really tough, she didn't back down -- she dug in and pulled off a geniune miracle for us at the last moment! But, it seems that in Cambridge, Massachusetts, they are trying to outlaw miracles.

Set the Way-Back Machine to Tuesday, April 27, 1999. A certain Cambridge politician learns that a strange group called the Church of the SubGenius is holding a Devival here in this fair city, and he is told that this is cause for worry. It seems that these people are "strange," "unusual," and perhaps even dangerous! This certain politician nods his head, goes "Uh," and says he'll look into it.

Wednesday, April 28: Someone from Florida calls NPR radio's "Talk of the Nation" and claims that the Church of the SubGenius is affiliated with the Trenchcoat Mafia. He warns that this group is holding a Devival at the Middle East, in Cambridge. NPR treats the caller's claim as a joke. But a number of the show's listeners do not -- and word of this quickly reaches the ears of a certain Cambridge politician. This politician suddenly thinks, "Hey, maybe these people really ARE a hate group!" and starts looking through the various SubGenius Web sites. He (or someone working with him) ignores all of the terrific artwork, satire, parody, and humor we pride ourselves with, and compiles a printout of the worst hate material collected on our Web sites. (For example, look at my own Web site at http://www.modemac.com/ and look for the section marked "Minions of the Conspiracy," where I do something so unspeakably awful as to provide links for your entertainment to racist bastards, other religious cults, the Christian Coalition, anad NAMBLA.) He then sends this list to the police and anyone else he knows, warning them that the dangerous "hate group" is coming to Cambridge, and it's possible that there may be an incident!

The Middle East club receives about a dozen irate phone calls from people who were offended by the NPR radio crank. In an act that demonstrates a complete lack of intelligence, the club cowers before a few crank callers and kicks the Church of the SubGenius out, with less than two days' notice. Despite the fact that we packed the club and sold out the upstairs area last year (on a Thursday night, no less), the Middle East neve wants the Church of the SubGenius to show "Bob's" face there again. Friday Jones is stuck with expenses running to several hundred dollars. But Friday isn't your typical everyday woman -- she is a true SubGenius!

Thursday, April 29: Friday Jones pulls off a GENUINE MIRACLE! With less than 24 hours til the event, she enlists the help of the ACLU and they provide her with new space for the Devival, at the Old Baptist Church in Cambridge. And a beautiful place it is, too! Word must be spread of the last-minue change of venue, so Friday and her faithful supporters kick into overdrive, doing everything possible to spread the word that the Devival is still on. The Boston Herald and the Globe both print articles in their Friday editions mentioning the show's cancellation, though the Herald also informs its readers of the change of address.

Friday, April 30: After spending the afternoon combing the Harvard Square area spreading the word of the Devival, I pack together a bag full of Neat Stuff to bring along for the Devival. At about 6 PM, I park the car and walk a few blocks to the Old Cambridge Baptist Church -- and am shocked to see little signs taped to the door saying, "Subgenius event cancelled - sorry!" I hadn't received any indication of this, so I decide the best thing to do is check my email. I head off to the Library and find that there is no email from Friday or anything else about the Devival. There's no word on alt.slack about the cancellation -- surely by this time, if there had indeed been a cancellation, word would have reached the Net in one form or another. So I leave my stuff in the car and head back to the church once again to see if anyone else has shown up. Friday is there, along with Dr. Foo, Reverend Ivan Stang, Father Legume, and others, and here I learn what has happened.

It seems that the church had received a number of strange phone calls warning them about the Church of the SubGenius. What's more, the police had been warned by a certain Cambridge politician that a dangerous hate group was gathering here at the church, and there was a chance that an "incident" of some sort could take place. The Baptist Church -- which only has a few staff members, and did their best to accomodate us in every way -- would not be able to stand up to this sort of problem, and so they were pressured into shutting down the Devival.

The SubGenii, however, would have none of this. And here, I must once again say how proud I am to be an ordained minister in the Church of the SubGenius, for we responded in true SubGenius fashion. Was there a riot? NO! Was anyone arrested? NO! The police had sent out three cruisers and two paddy-wagons to deal with this dangerous hate group, but after Friday Jones spoke with them and the people in charge of running the Baptist Church, the constables soon left and the SubGenii gathered on the steps of the church to hold an impromptu outdoor Devival.

Father K'taden Legume, Papa Joe Mama, and Ivan Stang each took their turns at giving their sermons, and the crowd stayed and ate it up. Brother Cleve Dunkan, Dr. Foo, and the great King of Slack, Bill T. Miller, put on an a cappella musican show, and the crowd cheered them on. Despite the fact that we were outside in 45-degree weather, a sizable crowd of more than fifty people praised "Bob," with confused passersby walking by the Church and trying to figure out just what in the world was going on. The crowd chanted "Praise 'Bob!'" and "Kill 'Bob'!" -- and then the time came to get serious and dig into our wallets. The Church of the SubGenius differs from all other religions in that we are not hypocrites -- we WANT profits, and we are FOR profits, and "Bob" would get some money out of this, even if it meant trying to talk a crowd of over fifty people into shelling out the ten dollars they had planned on spending for a full-fledged Devival.

Brothers and sisters and othergenders, this is what makes me proud to be a SubGenius: In times like this, we take care of our own. Father Legume explained to the crowd that Friday Jones was up the creek without a paddle here. She was several hundred dollars in the red, just because a certain Cambridge politician felt that it was necessary to CENSOR her in the name of free speech. She needed help. And the crowd opened up their wallets and DONATED MONEY to help her! Ivan Stang sold a bunch of swag, and "Bob" actually got money from this night in spite of everything! We stayed and B.S.ed and had a good time, and we prepared for the next Devival. (Yes, to that certain Cambridge politician who is certainly reading this message: THERE WILL BE ANOTHER DEVIVAL. Put that in your Pipe and smoke it!)

It seems, fellow mutants, that my words from last week proved to be prophetic: "Every Boston Devival has been an unforgettable event in the history of the Church of the SubGenius." And the Boston Devival of 1999 will certainly be remembered long after a certain Cambridge politician has been laughed out of office. This affair isn't over -- you will certainly be hearing a lot more about this in the future. But for now, we can still be comforted by the fact that in a world controlled by the Conspiracy, there are still a few abnormals who are willing to make the effort to help out their own in times of crisis.

And that, fellow mutants, is TRUE SLACK.

Praise "Bob!"

First Online Church of "Bob"

(My Web site is proudly listed on Yahoo under "religious sites" for Boston and Cambridge.)

From: nospam@here.there (Tantalus)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,ne.general
Subject: Re: Cambridge Politician tries to stop SubGenius Devival Date: Sun, 02

In article <372C3C08.22D6@worldnet.att.net>, Richard Tucker <nitecrawler7@worldnet.att.net> wrote:

>Joseph Teller wrote:


>>Who was the Politician? I want to know so I can help get them out of office. As a Cambridge Resident, Property Owner and Voter, as well as a Neo-Pagan, I want to know so that the tale can be told and the idiot dealt with!

Past mayor Ken Reeves is the person who called in the cops.


From: friday@subgenius.com (Friday Jones) Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.binaries.slack,alt.friday,alt.religion.subgenius Subject: Boston UnDevival A Success!
Date: Mon, 03 May 1999 00:21:51 -0500
Organization: www.fridayjones.com

Expect a full report in the next few days, but to sum it up - DESPITE being thrown out of the Middle East at the last hour, and being gently moved out of the Baptist Church at the last MINUTE, the SubGenii gathered to open their hearts on Walpurgis Night! The cops were cool, the Baptists were moderately cool (they did let us stay on their lawn), and Slack was spread by all, even that villainous Papa Joe! I hope that everyone who attended was not too disappointed.

- FJ
Friday Jones

*** SLAK WARS - EPISODE 1:THE SUBGENIUS MENACE *** XX-Day Militia Recruitment Devival, April 30, 1999
Middle East, Cambridge - 9:00 PM, $10, 18+
Stang/Legume/Meyer/Papa Joe
Bill T. Miller/Brother Cleve Dunkan
Visit http://www.fridayjones.com for details

<title>Lemuria - A Reflection</title>

<i> Germane, a group consciousness energy, states that "his"
orientation is from a realm of integration that does not have a clear-cut density/dimensional level. The term "germane" in the English language means "significant relevance" or "coming from the same source". Germane therefore chose this term to somewhat personify his energy. Neither male nor female, he views us as evolving to become him as we begin the process of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual integration, which leads us back to the Source of All.</i>
Note: This tape was from a session for a Japanese tour group touring both Sedona and Santa Fe. This is an excerpt from the complete tape which includes a Japanese translation.
<b>Germane:</b> Greetings to you. This is Germane. We're going to tell you a little story. Approximately 14,000 years ago, the culture known as Lemuria was thriving. There were also other cultures on Earth, such as Atlantis, which were thriving as well. The holy people or the prophets of the Lemurian culture began to be aware that something was going to be changing. They began receiving information that the Earth was going to go through a very dramatic shift. The shift that they were referring to was what you call the Great Flood. You've also called it the destruction of Atlantis. These holy people of Lemuria were very much in touch with the land. They were the ancient ancestors of the Native Americans. They began to be aware that it was very important that the knowledge from Lemuria be preserved. And so for about 2,000 to 3,000 years, they were preparing for this great cataclysm. They began spreading their teachings about the Earth and about mankind's history to as many people as they possibly could. They believed that if they could spread this information to as many people as possible, the information would be stored within the cells of the human bodies. Then it would never be forgotten.
They also began to store information in crystals. These crystals were taken deep within the Earth to be stored and preserved. These ancient Lemurians also began to create detailed maps of the underground tunnels that existed between <a href="world-power-spots.html">power points</a> on your planet. They also took the time to prepare their plans. They knew that they would receive a sign telling them it was time to go underground before the floods came. So they prepared themselves for these several thousand years to be the sacred keepers of the records of Earth. They knew it was very important that the information they held be saved for when the waters receded, otherwise the entire history of Earth and the sacred teachings of the Lemurians would have been lost forever. <p>
These holy people received their signs and began going underground. This occurred approximately one year before the flood. While underground, they learned to live there and use the underground environment for their sustenance. They built very supportive and loving communities underground. During that year, they did the final work involved in preserving some of the knowledge that they knew needed to be preserved. <p>
Then the flood came. All these people who were underground were safe from the waters, even though many, many people on the surface of the Earth perished. When the waters receded, the people emerged from underground. The land they once knew was now very different. This emergence from the Earth is the point at which the Native Americans' creation history begins. In a very literal sense, they did emerge from the Earth. Most of the native peoples have lost the exact literal memory of this emergence, but within the highest ranks of the shamans, this knowledge is still passed on. <p>
Now, we tell this story from the point of view of the Native Americans, but they were not the only people who went underground. The holy people all around this planet went underground. For instance, the Aborigines in Australia and those who were later to become the Druids in England were all preserving their knowledge underground as well. The Druids were preserving the ancient Atlantean information, as were the Egyptians. But the native peoples of the Pacific area, including Asia, were preserving the Lemurian information. These native peoples, even today, hold within themselves this sacred knowledge. Some of it is conscious but most of it lies in the subconscious. The Ainu of Japan are one of the tribes that preserved some of the knowledge. There was a great cooperation among all of these peoples on Earth to make sure that the sacred teachings were never lost.

<h2 align=center>The Ancient Knowledge - Is Rising to Consciousness</h2> The prophets also knew that when the new time came, after the flood, mankind would move away from the sacred teachings. The prophets knew that there would be a very long period of time during which the teachings would have to be kept hidden. They knew that one day that cycle would end and the teachings would once again emerge from each and every person. <p>
That is what is happening now for all of you. You are drawn to visit places like the Native American sacred spots or Peru or Egypt because you are feeling this ancient knowledge beginning to rise to the surface within you, and you seek to find a vehicle through which that memory can be activated. <p>
As the memory is activated in each of you, it will not necessarily take the form of information. Instead, it will simply take the form of your own spiritual and inner wisdom. The ancients never had <i>religion</i> and never felt the need to make someone else believe the way they did. That pattern happened only after the flood. The ancients all had an inner wisdom and an inner spirituality that was never discussed or argued about. Even though everyone is unique and has his or her own spiritual beliefs, ultimately those beliefs all are the same idea on the most basic level. <p>
Those basic beliefs are the belief in a higher power, love and respect for each other and love and respect for the Earth. That is the very basic foundation of spirituality. That was the spirituality of the ancients, and that is the spirituality that is awakening within you. It doesn't matter whether you are Buddhist, Shinto or Christian. All that matters is that basic foundation of spirituality. Belief in a higher power, love and respect for each other and love and respect for the Earth. It is really that simple. As you travel to these hallowed spots and you get back in touch with the Earth, that's how the spirituality gets awakened within you. <p>
Do not underestimate the power of the experiences you have while you are on this trail. They awaken within you something that was lying asleep for quite a long time. Reincarnationally, you are those ancient Lemurians. You are fulfilling your agreements by being here now and helping in the awakening. You all carry those memories within you. Honor that and trust that you do have them within you.
The question that has been asked of us so many times is, <i>What's going to happen now?</i> Is there going to be another cataclysm like the flood? How is this new awareness going to be activated on Earth? You are all working very hard on an energetic level so that you will not bring about another cataclysm. We do not perceive that you are going to experience another flood or destructive earthquake.
This time the change is going to happen within you. You are going to experience, in a sense, your own personal internal earthquake, your own crumbling of belief systems that no longer serve you. So in a sense, there is going to be destruction and the ending of a cycle but it's not going to take place around you in the physical world; it's going to take place in an even more powerful place - within you. So do not fear if old things you carry begin falling away. Do not fear if old relationships can no longer be the same. Most of all, do not fear exploring the unknown, for the deeper you go within, the more profoundly you are going to experience this. Know that all that happens to you, even the things that may be disturbing, is part of your own personal release of the old. As you are releasing the old, you will be exposed to new ideas. They may feel strange or foreign to you, but just keep yourself open and allow whatever is there to come to you before you assume that it is not for you. Stay open and explore. <p>
During this tour, the ancient energies that you are exposed to are going to accelerate this process even more, for it is time now for the awakening to happen. You have all chosen to be the pioneers who help to lead the planet in this age.
There is a very powerful site in Santa Fe called Bandolier. To describe what the energy is like there is very difficult, so please bear with us. Bandolier is one of the places on Earth that integrates the star energy and the ancient Earth energy, so when you visit there, you may feel strong ET energy, but at the same time you may feel the presence of the Earth Mother very strongly too. It is very important that on each planet there be sacred spots that integrate both the star and the planet energy. Bandolier is one such place. There are many. For instance in Japan you have Mount Kurama. So as you are walking through Bandolier, feel your feet planted firmly on the ground and at the same time feel your star connection.
One of the themes of your time in Sedona has been grounding. You allowed yourself to take a very difficult hike. You succeeded because you allowed the Earth to support you. You became one with the Earth. From the Earth you drew strength, and it is the strength that is now going to help you as you go to the second part of the tour. The energy of Santa Fe is going to be different but it is very closely connected to what you experienced this morning. When the tour is over you will see how they fit together. <p>
We would like to take some time to answer your questions, but first we would simply like to congratulate all of you on the great acceleration you have all experienced in the past few days. So many things have moved within you. You cannot really understand how much has occurred within you with your mind, but you will notice, when you go back to your normal life in Japan, that things have changed.
Earlier, I felt that I knew exactly when all the people were going to leave the place we were exploring. </i></blockquote>
That experience, especially with the crowds, was showing you what it's like to be one with the Earth. You knew when the crowd was going to disappear because you could sense the energy of the Earth. You were a part of the environment, and that is exactly what the ancients experienced. <p>
The Native Americans do something called the Rain Dance. Today much of the significance of that ceremony has been lost; today the belief is that the dance makes it rain. However, in the ancient days, the Rain Dance was very much like what you experienced with the crowds. The Native Americans would do a Rain Dance not because they wanted it to rain, but because they could sense the energy of the environment and they were moved to become part of the environment and celebrate the rain. There is a subtle difference. We hope we have explained it. You experienced that feeling of being one with the Earth. It was very important to bring up that ancient knowledge. <p>
What is the significance of the Snake People? </i></blockquote>
The Snake People are very, very ancient. They existed approximately 5,000 to 6,000 years ago. They were descendants of the Lemurians, in particular, descendants of the original record-keepers of Lemuria. The snake, in terms of symbology, has always been used on Earth to mean wisdom, so you find many cultures around Earth in which the snake, as a symbol, plays a very important role.
Now today, you were taken to a place called Montezuma's Well. The myth is that that was one of the emergence points of the ancient Lemurian/Native American. Sedona is one of the places that was first inhabited by the people who were keeping the records. After they emerged, their civilization lived mostly high in the cliffs. At that time Sedona was a chain of islands, so they had to live on higher ground. This original group that came from beneath the Earth lived here and, of course, procreated, so there were many generations here. The Snake People are descendants of those original ones from beneath the Earth.
Now you've all seen the large amount of quartz crystal that is in the red rock, and you all know that quartz crystal can hold information and knowledge. Sedona was chosen as an emergence point because of all the quartz crystal in the area. It would be very easy to use all the quartz crystal in the rock to hold the knowledge of Lemuria, so the Snake People living in this area were committed to programming that knowledge into the rocks. This is why so many people are now drawn to Sedona. Anyone who has a Lemurian connection will naturally be drawn here. All of you, at one time or another, belonged to the Snake People tribe.
Are there any ruins of Lemurian temples in the Sedona area? </i></blockquote>
There are some physical remains of those temples but they are so eroded now that you really couldn't recognize them as remains of a temple. However, energetically those temples still exist. They can only be accessed on the inner planes through your dream state or through your meditations, but they are still very active. That's another reason why people feel so drawn to come to Sedona. They have traveled here in other states of consciousness so even though their physical bodies haven't been here, they feel familiar with it. There are many Lemurian temples here interdimensionally. <blockquote><i>
Is there any connection between those who survived the Great Flood and extraterrestrials?
What a wonderful and creative question. No one has ever asked this before, and it is one of the particular areas of interest for us. We assume that a good number of you have read The Prism of Lyra, but we will attempt to keep it very simple in case you haven't.
The people who went underground during the flood could be associated with what we call the <a href="sirians.html">Sirians or the Sirian energy</a>. Their symbol was the snake. They were the keepers of knowledge throughout. As to whether there were people who survived the flood on the surface, the answer is yes. You have a Biblical story about a man named Noah who built an ark. That story is very true with one exception. There was not just one Noah but many people around the planet who built arks or boats to survive the flood. So when the flood finally receded, there were those who had gone underground and there were those who had stayed aboveground. And yet there was contact. <p>
Among those who stayed aboveground, there were two factions. There was one faction that we would say was oriented toward the energy from Sirius. Those people had a love for mankind and a desire for peace and knowledge. But there was another faction that was more aligned with what we would call the <a href="lyrians.html">Lyran influence.</a> They were the ones who wanted power. Some of those people were the ones in powerful positions in Atlantis. Now we're talking about those who stayed aboveground. For the most part, those who went underground were all of one orientation.

<h2 align=center>Native Americans Have Remained Separate to Preserve the Knowledge</h2>

All through history, you have had conflict between the knowledge-keepers and those hungry for power. That still happens today. So as soon as the floods receded, the conflicts started again. That is why the people who are now considered Native American did not integrate themselves with the rest of the world. They kept themselves separate in order to assure that the knowledge would be preserved; they allowed the power struggle to continue while they simply sat back and tried to preserve the knowledge. You can see that is happening now. But the cycle is finishing, because so many of you now are beginning to realize how important that spiritual knowledge is. As more and more of you begin a spiritual search, those in power will have to change their ways because they won't be able to manipulate people anymore. <p>
So your individual search for your own spiritual truth eventually affects the entire planet. This time on your planet that you are calling a new age is the completion of many thousands of years of conflict. We perceive that the conflict will be healed.
How long did people live underground? How long were their lives?
When the flood receded, about half of those who were underground emerged. Half stayed underground because they were not quite sure it was safe to emerge. Those who emerged saw that conflict was already beginning on the surface once again, so they retreated and kept to themselves. They refused to become part of that conflict. That's why today there is such a division between Western society and the native peoples. The Native Americans do not want to play the game of conflict.
The people who stayed underground remained there for several more generations. At one point, half of the half emerged, but there was still a group who remained underground. They are still there. They are the people you call the Inner Earth people. They have evolved quite rapidly over the past several thousand years. They have built their own society totally independent of yours, and in a sense they have mutated to allow themselves to adapt to life below the surface. They do not want to play the game of conflict either. Their lives are quite long, a life span averaging approximately 600 to 800 years. They do not procreate at the rate you do so there is no population problem.
In terms of the longevity of people during the period of the flood, their life span was longer than yours. It really depended upon the genetic characteristics of the individual. If a person had a genetic makeup based on a strong extraterrestrial background, he had a longer life span. This information is spoken about very clearly in the Bible. It is given that the ages of certain Biblical figures are well over 100 years, like Moses. Some are given quite long lifetimes. Those records are out there. <p>
Over time, as you all have evolved away from being a part of the Earth, your life spans have gotten shorter. This is because when you are one with the Earth, you channel the life force of the Earth and it rejuvenates you. But when you cut yourself off from your life force, you deteriorate faster. This is why Native Americans have such long life spans and yogis who live up in the Himalayas do, too. They have, as much as they could, kept their connections with Earth. Your life span will grow longer the more you reconnect with the Earth. As your consciousness changes, your life span will grow.

<h2 align=center>Meditation</h2>
Now allow yourself to sit comfortably and close your eyes. Take three deep breaths. We're going to take you through the chakras very quickly. <p>
<IMG WIDTH=13 HEIGHT=13 SRC="Images/perlpurple.gif"> Imagine a red ball of energy at the base of your spine and let it begin to spin.
<IMG WIDTH=13 HEIGHT=13 SRC="Images/perlpurple.gif"> Imagine an orange ball of energy below your navel and allow that to begin to spin.
<IMG WIDTH=13 HEIGHT=13 SRC="Images/perlpurple.gif"> Imagine a yellow ball of energy at your solar plexus and allow that to begin to spin.
<IMG WIDTH=13 HEIGHT=13 SRC="Images/perlpurple.gif"> Imagine a green ball of energy at your heart and allow that to begin to spin.
<IMG WIDTH=13 HEIGHT=13 SRC="Images/perlpurple.gif"> Imagine a blue ball of energy at your throat and allow that to begin to spin.
<IMG WIDTH=13 HEIGHT=13 SRC="Images/perlpurple.gif"> Imagine an indigo ball of energy at your third eye and allow that to begin to spin.
<IMG WIDTH=13 HEIGHT=13 SRC="Images/perlpurple.gif"> Imagine a violet ball of energy at the top of your head and allow that to begin to spin.
In your mind's eye now look down at your feet. Imagine that you are wearing leather moccasins. You are walking along a dusty path. Imagine the sound of your feet as you walk along the path. Become aware that you are walking in single file as a group. You step as one. The steps are the beat of the heart of the Earth.
Now I'm going to help you access your group energy, for your group has a very powerful connection. In the next few days you will learn how to access the power of these energies. For now, feel as if there is a golden thread that is running through each of you around this circle and connecting you together. It is as if we breathe as one. It is as if your hearts beat as one. There is strong trust among all of you. <p>
This night, we're all going to meet in the dream state. In the dream state, you are going to begin activating the memory of your group connection. When you awaken tomorrow morning, the energy will be different. You will perceive your connections as stronger. You will feel a new and different powerful energy. Allow yourself to take three deep breaths. Continue to feel that golden thread that runs through all of you and that connects you to God. When you go to sleep tonight, that thread will become even more powerful. <p>
Now slowly bring your consciousness back to the room. When you feel ready you may open your eyes.
Your energy is accelerating. You are changing and growing so very fast we hardly recognize you. We look forward to seeing you again. Much love and good dreams this evening.
Note: This session appeared in the September 1993 issue of the <a href="sedona-zine.html">Sedona Journal of Emergence</a>. <p>
&copy; 1994 by Royal Priest Research, All Rights Reserved. This manuscript may be copied for private distribution, but may not be sold.
For more information on available tapes, transcripts, books, and videos, contact <a href="lyssa-royal.html">Lyssa Royal</a>. <p>
<b>Love is the answer...</b>

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<P ALIGN=CENTER><FONT SIZE=+4>The Church of the Subgenius!</FONT></P>


<P ALIGN=CENTER>&nbsp;</P>

<P ALIGN=CENTER><I><FONT SIZE=+4>On April 30th, 1999!</FONT></I></P>


<P><FONT SIZE=+1>How stupid can pinks get? Read on to find out. This is a TRUE story...</FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>Have you been one of the many millions who fell the media has gone into a feeding frenzy, nay- a HYSTERIA over the Littleton high school killings? How many talk shows, articles, and special reports can they do on the subject? ANSWER: As many as you watch! Like they say in the news biz, &quot;IF IT BLEEDS, IT LEADS!&quot; </FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>These so called &quot;Expert Journalist&quot; are easily fooled. In all the post-murder hype, all it took was ONE PRANK PHONE CALL to a nation wide call-in radio show (TALK OF THE NATION on N.P.R.) and they go berserk! (So much for confirmation and accurate news reporting...) Within hours, saviors of the community were running around and trying to expose this new &quot;hate cult&quot;. Even a Boston City Councilman and former mayor (Ken Reeves) was taken in! He put together &quot;a report&quot; outlining the Subgenius Threat and sent it to the police and any clubs that might sponsor our event. Meanwhile, concerned citizens from all over America were calling the club and demanding the show be cancelled. (So much for the claim that N.P.R. listeners are smarter than the Rush Limbaugh audience.) Middle East owner Joseph Satar (or is it spelled Satan?) quickly broke his word/ contract and cancelled. Thinking we were Nazis, the ACLU jumped in to defend us, and quickly found a Church willing to host the event. But then anynomous phone threats were made by other upstanding citizens, claiming they would create some sort of violent inncident to protect the community from this hate group. The church called the cops asking for protection, but the cops said they were too busy to help &quot;Bob&quot;. So the Church cancelled just three hours before show time. When the Subgenius faithful arrived, the cops were suddenly no longer too busy to show up. They appeared in full force... complete with a paddy wagon! (This is not an exaggeration!) </FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>And you thought we were kidding when we said the masses are asses.</FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>In 1938, THE WAR OF THE WORLDS fooled 1.4 million radio listeners into believing America was under attack by Martians, and it took the combined talents of H.G Welles, Orson Wells, and the entire cast of the Mercury Theater Players to pull it off. Today, all it takes is the terrified voice of one &quot;on-air&quot; phone call. We've come a long way, baby.</FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>Even though the radio host warned listeners that the Subgenius Church was more humorous than harmful, that didn't stop the cattle from stampeding! The hysteric parents and self proclaimed P.C. types worked overtime to cancel our show and sick the police on to &quot;Bob&quot;. (After all, they worship &quot;pipes&quot; which sound similar to pipe bombs!)</FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>This is why we HATE normals. They're so painfully retarded!</FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>Now the moron majority is calling for school uniforms, free speech restrictions, gun control, prayer in schools, closing down Marilyn Manson concerts, video game restrictions, internet censorshp and apparently- and end to the Subgenius<B> Reign of Terror! </B></FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>Keep it up guys, the more you try to shut us down, the more money we make. Publicity is priceless. Especially the panic driven variety. Tell your neighbors, write your newspaper, and shout from the roofs! &quot;Bob&quot; Dobbs is coming and he's DANGEROUS!</FONT> <FONT SIZE=+1>We're predicting this recent SHOCKING REVELATION will continue as the ignorant alert the clueless. The Jerry Springer show could be next!</FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>So eat your maggot infested heart out, Orson Wells. Martian Invaders just don't stack up against &quot;Bob&quot; Dobbs and his X-ist Shock Troops. Praise Bob!</FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>*****</FONT></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>To hear how easy it is to fool millions, click the below address: </FONT></P>

<P><A HREF="http://www.npr.org/ramfiles/totn/19990427.totn.ram"><FONT SIZE=+1>http://www.npr.org/ramfiles/totn/19990427.totn.ram</FONT></A></P>

<P><FONT SIZE=+1>(The fun starts about 20 minutes into the show. Real Audio required)</FONT></P>



<P><FONT SIZE=+1>Make no mistake: Admitting this little prank does not in ANY WAY mean we are back peddling from our dedicated crusade for Dobbsian Dominance. Our message of HATE is STILL THE SAME: One July 5th, 1998, Xist Aliens will fly down and DESTROY every man, woman and child who is not a Subgenius... including YOU (Unless of course, you send in your $30 hate offering.) If this message makes you uncomfortable, TOUGH. Send your $30 and you'll have nothing to worry about. Otherwise, kiss your pink ass farewell...</FONT></P>

From: "K^nig Preufle, GmbH" <bbombere@erols.com> Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Re: Regarding Boston Devival: DON'T PESTER, PLEASE Date: Wed, 05 May

Friday Jones wrote:

>This is I, Stang, not Friday... using her machine.

>The church that we were half-cancelled from has gotten some hang-up calls the last couple of days. I truly hope it is not a SubGenius doing some misguided harrassment. The folks at that church are cool.

>Also, any pestering of Cambridge politicians at this point would only make us look bad.

I would call Kip O'Neill anyway.
If he ain't too drunk, mebbe he'll send you a case o' Whiskey!

To get random text files, put text files into a folder called "Random Texts" in your Random Text text file folder text.

Subject: Boston Devival Report del Stango



The MASSES have spoken
THE MASSAS have spoken.


-- And their EXCUSE was that they were "protecting free speech!"

WHICH "catch" number did they say that was?

This is Rev. Ivan Stang, not IrRev. Friday Jones, reporting. I'm sitting at Friday's computer banks in the Friday Cave in Waltham, MA. She's away doing some sort of undercover errand for her OTHER masters, whoever they may be, and I'm waiting for her to return to, sadly, wisk me away to the airport so I can fly back to the accursed Buckle on the Bible Belt, Dallas. I hate to leave, because I've had so DAMN MUCH FUN here. MOST of the time. Finding out that the ultra-p.c. enlightened government of the city of Cambridge is QUANTIFIABLY LESS TOLERANT OF DIVERSITY than that of DALLAS, TEXAS, and watching Friday lose money as a result, was NOT fun.

We watched a Cambridge councilman explain that free speech of any kind was okay up until 1999, but that "the current public safety climate" means you should shut down a show first and then ascertain the show's content LATER. We also watched him read to the City Council from Papa Joe Mama's website, VERY VERY SELECTIVELY -- LEAVING OUT ANY PUNCHLINES OR SET-UPS THAT MIGHT REVEAL ITS ACTUAL SATIRICAL, FASCETIOUS NATURE. (For instance, he read aloud about the "Nitrous Oxide Gas Chambers" but left out "... where our victims will laugh themselves to death.") Deliberately making his fellow council folks think we are Nazi kooks. Without giving us an opportunity to correct the massive lie of omission. To cover his ass.

The ultra-P.C. humorless city councilman did not insist that the nightclub, and after that the church venue, cancel our show. He merely implied to the venues, and the cops, and the mayor, using "research" by omission, that we were white supremacists allied with the Trenchcoat Mafia and that we might draw a violent, even murderous audience.

I'm dead serious.

Needless to say, this is like Jerry Falwell calling the Teletubbies gay recruitment propaganda.



It ain't over yet, but of course I am not at liberty to divulge details which might taint a court case.


IrReverend Friday Jones was the ROCK PROMOTER of this devival, and by that I mean that she was a ROCK! HER SAVINGS WERE ON THE LINE and she was suddenly being SHOT DOWN, ONE VENUE AFTER ANOTHER, by both anonymous weird creepy threatening callers to the venues, and powerful city officials... AND YET SHE HUNG IN THERE! SHE THRUST ON FORWARD THROUGH THE FRAY, a mighty STEEL-PLATED PROW on the Good Ship Dobbs, SMASHING ALL ICEBERGS IN HER PATH and melting them with the FERVENT HEAT of her PURE UNBESMIRCHED LOVE-HATE!! (And her not inconsiderable CHEST!) Papa Joe, Dr. Legume and I watched Friday Jones become a MARVEL of determination, a veritable SUPER HERO UBERFEMME of bear-trap-like tenacity.


As his punishment, Papa Joe was given a new nickname. As his reward, I will not reveal it here.

Actually, Papa Joe Mama's hilarious call to TALK TO THE NATION on NPR was not the catalyst. Some nasty old fart in Florida sending the councilman Papa Joe's hilarious HOLOCAUSTAL WEBSITE print-outs was the catalyst. Papa Joe's NATIONALLY HEARD PUBLICITY STUNT CALL was merely the ICING on the CAKE. Indeed, one of the mysteries of this whole thing is that our persecutors COMPLETELY MISSED the Expose "Bob" website, which would have been even better for their purposes of slander.

You know, I may be the most dedicated Ivangelical of all, but these P.C. nazis in Cambridge were SO SO VERY BLATANTLY, PAINFULLY, AND UNFORGIVABLY PINK, that I find myself VEHEMENTLY DEFENDING the HOLOCAUSTALS!! Normally my ARCH ENEMIES within the Church!!

It proves that even the most diametrically opposed of SubGenii are BLOOD BROTHERS when compared to the HUMANS. The PINKS! The MEDIOCRETINS!! THE NORMALS.


They don't begin to GUESS the depth of our ALL TOO HUMAN RACISM!! For it is not racism, nay, but SPECISM! But try convincing a NEWT or a FROG that you're of a different species than him. We have as much luck showing the Pinks the errors of their ways. There is NO communication. They look at "Bob's" face and instead of seeing the embodiment of Slack, they see... NOTHING. Or a mere PICTURE with no meaning. Or a THREAT. SURE the Church is just one big "publicity stunt." But it's the GRAND PUBLICITY STUNT FOR FREEDOM OF SPEECH! For freedom of MIND! For SLACK!

False prophets bearing false witness. I'm gonna tell God on you, ye politicians! AS SOON AS I VANQUISH HIM IN BATTLE!! With the help of the Million Man Trenchcoat Army, we will DEFEAT GOD as well as His POLITICIAN HELPERS. But we will do it with LOVE, not hate. We will do it not with pipe bombs, but with pipe bongs. (And bombs full of pipes.) (And pipes LOADED with "da bomb"!). We're the opposite of a "hate group." We're Hate Groupies trying to perform a Love Grope. Our bloody rallies and the ensuing riots are ANTI-HATE rallies! That's why we say:



That's essentially what it came down to. They felt that our form of "free speech" is in such bad taste that it endangers OTHER free speech, and for that reason MUST BE CENSORED.

But yet... but... yet...


PLUS I got to see THE MATRIX and DARK CITY, *AND* EL TOPO, with some of my best pals in the whole wide world, Dr. Legume and Papa Joe and Friday Jones! I got to HANG OUT! I got to SLEEP! I got me a got-dayemed GUSHER of PURE SLACK!! (Several of them, in fact!)

The only thing keeping this from being FULLY RIGHTEOUS is that Friday is still out several hundred dollars. She bought plane tickets for me, Legume and Papa Joe, she designed and printed zillions of GORGEOUS flyers, she and Modemac went ALL THE HELL OVER BOSTON AND CAMBRIDGE posting the flyers, she printed POSTCARDS and mailed 'em out to the Subs of 6 STATES, ALL ON HER HARD EARNED SAVINGS!!


PO BOX 623
WALTHAM, MA 02454-0623


90 min. VHS
Deluxe "I GAVE AN EXTRA $10 to FRIDAY" edition: $20!!

Be like Mighty Friday herself and


If you want to understand what happened to the Church in Cambridge, as well as WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW, rent and review each of the films on this new, revised


CATCH 22 (the book, really, but I guess you could throw the movie in... they TRIED)
and on a positive note: IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

Legume added: WATERMELON MAN

Note that the theme common to all of these is "the individual's awakening to the fact that his entire previous "reality" had been a false construct all along." Well... that, or: "To an insane society, the sane person is mad." You know. Like... daily life, and all.

Add yer own! And incidentally, I *herewith* start that list of "RECOMMENDED READING/VIEWING" aka THINGS TO THINK AND KNOW. I recently moved my ENTIRE OFFICE as well as my whole library, and that involved some much-neeeded wheat-from-chaff distillation.

*(-- St. Janor Hypercleats ripped off by Ivan Stang)

All other "gags" in this "rant" were "spouted" by Friday Jones, K'taden "Cortez" Legume, Joe Mama, Ivan Stang

"Spouted" copyright Dr. Philo Drummond
"Rant" is a trademark owned by Fred Schwartz "Gags" is a trademark owned by the estate of Theodore Bundy


*** SLAK WARS - EPISODE 1:THE SUBGENIUS MENACE *** XX-Day Militia Recruitment Devival, April 30, 1999
Middle East, Cambridge - 9:00 PM, $10, 18+
Stang/Legume/Meyer/Papa Joe
Bill T. Miller/Brother Cleve Dunkan
Visit http://www.fridayjones.com for details

Subject: Fwd: Re: Boston Devival Report del Stango Reply-To: box2321@box2321.com (P. O. Box 2321)

They can pull "Bob" over, but they can never really "stop" him.

The tighter they squeeze their fists, the more we slip between their fingers.

What does not destory us, magnifies our HATE!

Praise Ken Reeves! Praise the P.C. pinks who can't tell the difference between pink "hate" and divine "hate". They're helping "Bob" motivate the troops for the battle that must be fought WITH NO MERCY WHATSOEVER.

In other over reaction news, so kid just got kicked out of school for drawing a gun in class. Not drawing it out of his pocket, but on a piece of paper!

I predict millions of "copy cat" gun artists, and subgenius' everywhere race to get kicked out of school the easiest way their is.

To: Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com>
Subject: Lemuria Fake Addresses



- O.

Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> The SubGenius Answer Man Member Since 1982 | 'Revelation X' Co-Author | Attended X-Day 1998 Send One Dollar to http://www.subgenius.com/ for Eternal Salvation

In article <slrn7l15ge.6jp.box2321@shell2.aracnet.com>, onan@subgenius.com wrote:

>The negotiations are over - the passports cleared - the legislators bribed and the security hired - now it can be told...

>J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, founder of the Church of the SubGenius, will make a rare, live personal appearance at LEMURIA RISING on 10 June 1999 in Portland Oregon.

>Now, I've found as I've told people this they laugh and say two things. First they say we're going to just have somebody dressed up like "Bob" and then they say something about him getting shot again. I've tried to not take it personally but ding dang it, after all the work I've done the lack of faith - in _me_ - from my sisters and brothers sure does sting.

I believe you, Onan. These people act like it's some kind of big deal. It isn't like Dobbs hasn't showed up at devivals before, albeit with tragic consequences that one time.

Folks, when Onan was a little boy he was "Bob's" ward on and off -- "Bob's" protege. Onan is probably the only person on this newsgroup who used to hang out with Dobbs, although he was very young at the time.

There's a pic of Onan with braces on on altt.binaries.slack, GIRLS.

>Church of the SubGenius
>10 June 1999 9:30 PM
>Berbati's Pan 231 SW Ankeny Portland Oregon


I hope he isn't pissed at me! If he even remembers who I am.

Copyright 1999 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc. PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack

"If everybody said "maybe" more often, the whole world might become startlingly sane." -- Pope Bob A. Wilson

From: legume@subgenius.com (Legume)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Subject: Lemuria Rising CANCELLED!

Well, not really...

Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi

From: "Dr.Legume" <drlegume@delanet.com> Subject: Re: Lemuria Rising - J. R.

At 06:38 PM 5/29/99 -0700, you wrote:
>J. R. "Bob" Dobbs, founder of the Church of the SubGenius, will make a rare, live personal appearance at LEMURIA RISING on 10 June 1999 in Portland Oregon.

Yeah? Really? "Bob" HIMSELF?

So fuckin' what?
Dr. K. "Cortez" Legume

Mecagum les cinc llagues de Crist,
mecagum D'eu, en la creu, en el fuster
que la fue i en fill de puta que va plantar el pi

- O.

Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <onan@subgenius.com> http://www.subgenius.com/ Call Onan's Voice Mail Toll-Free 1-877-324-6289 (member 503-900-122) Send $30 unto The SubGenius Foundation Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 USA

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