From: (Onan Canobite)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, May 28, 2000 2:00 AM
Message-ID: <>


The platform of the Church of the SubGenius addresses the immediate need
of the American people to make government responsive to individual needs
and rights while maintaining a reasonable and efficient environment for
civil growth.

Restoring autonomy to the citizen
Revert to authority of First Amendment rights
Cease and desist monitoring of American citizens
Subsidize individual living costs to free creativity
Decriminalize all behavior which influences only one person
Educate all individuals to autonomy and self-regulation
End no-knock warrants and intrusive surveillance
Conform law to standards of honor and individualism
Return free speech laws and destroy "hate crime" legal bias
Remove the bias of public opinion in education and allow homeschooling
Equality to the opportunity presented within society

Federal funding to equalize public schooling
Continuing education for adult students
Technical education provided as well as academic
Subsidized public transportation and meeting places
End normal quotas and substitute with training practices
Access for all citizens to computer equipment and training
Enforce colorblind and ethnicity blind maintenance of rights
Use military forces to rebuild damaged areas of inner city
Change attitudes toward normative objectives

Tax-reduction for non-normative marketing and product design
Disnormify federal linguistic and informational standards
Remove moral connotations of normalcy from law and record
Construct education around facilitative diversity
Recognize dialects of English and propagate it as official language
Reduction of legal complexity and application to the individual

Translate law to specialized conversational English
Print all notices in consistent English exclusively
Refer all common law to civil court
Legal training available as part of trial process
Public lawyers socialized and charged with truth not victory
Ensure rights and freedom for all Americans

Apply First Amendment freedoms over all law
Implement reporting process for biased agencies of government
Remove drug war law allowing seizure and eavesdrop to law enforcement
Allow citizens ability to define common law via constitutional contract
Amnesty for those prosecuted after their rights have been violated
An environmental policy which puts our children before our immediate needs

Immediate curbing of unfiltered industrial smoke and dumping
Task force to cut down on organized crime dumping toxic waste
Legislation to suggest incentives for cars with efficient engines
Free public transportation running 24 hours as alternative to cars
Recycling a first step in national garbage collection plan
Subsidized design efficiency and ecological awareness in education
Tax breaks for corporations making biodegradable products
An immigrant naturalization plan

Free public schooling in English speaking and writing
All government publications in English only (unless export)
Non-taxpayers given no access to government facilities or benefits
Class of citizen empowered via education, legal bulletin, and benefits
Electronic patrol of border to prevent non-citizen entry
Relaxation of seizure law on persons and cargo at entry points
Primary focus on security and filtering as immigration plan
Aid to Mexico in intellectual capital and development loans
Destruction of drug criminalization to allow American farmers to compete
Refocus government planning on futurism
Resume active development of space and space travel devices
Cooperate with industry to clean up human pollution in America
Initiate public works projects to employ homeless in construction
Support multiculturalism through diversity education and museums
Encourage representation of SubGenius ("Yeti") culture
Funding for statistically underrepresented ethnic groups

...and a return to the focus on justice and individual rights in
America. Our party believes the highest goal it can have is to empower
individuals while retaining social order so that all get a chance to
self-determine within a reasonable lifespan of safe, unbiased, and
relatively consistent existence.

- O.

Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <>
Lemurian Toll Free Voice Message and Fax Number: 877-380-0077 ext.976
Send $30 unto The SubGenius Foundation Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 USA

Subject: Re: Platform
From: (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday
Date: Mon, May 29, 2000 10:07 AM
Message-ID: <>

In article <>, wrote:

> (Onan Canobite) wrote:
><snip confused mishmash of libertarianism, socialism, fascist
>immigrant policy, pie-in-the sky dreaming and goats shall fly>
>Don't quit yer dayjob.

Friday's SubGenius Politcal Platform is:

While ruling over you as the leader of an absolute dictatorship, I will

Thank you.

Win a Date with the Whore of Babylon!
XXX-Day - SubGenius Fetish Festival

Subject: Re: Platform
From: (Onan Canobite)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, May 30, 2000 7:58 AM
Message-ID: <>

>> (Onan Canobite) wrote:

Source for 'Platform' is...
... with very minor changes.

The lesson I learned from this exercise is...

- O.

Rev. Dr. Onan Canobite <>
Lemurian Toll Free Voice Message and Fax Number: 877-380-0077 ext.976
Send $30 unto The SubGenius Foundation Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 USA

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