Rev. Magdalen wrote:
>
> This is an actual test question on my final exam for American
> Government. Someone please explain. Is it some kind of trick? He's not
> DEAD, is he???
Al Gore has never met "Bob"(1). Had he done so, perhaps
he would have realized how important "Bob" is to the
future of American politics, the American scene, and
each and every one of us personally as Americans; and
even to those non-Americans who populate the rest of the
world along with all other lifeforms, perhaps even
transcending the earth and reaching out into the vastness
of outer space and other dimensions.
Had he done so in his early years, say, before he was
born, perhaps through a post-conception adulterous
encounter between "Bob" and his mother, the blessed if
unworldly semen of "Bob" might have altered his DNA,
utterly transforming his entire personna, political
outlook, social tendencies, and outlook on life from
that of just the ordinary son of a United States Senator,
into something truly impressive, transcendental, and/or
totally ineffectual in a modern technological society.
That is, assuming that his mother insisted on the more
conventional form of sex in lieu of sexual novelty.
After he was born, and yet still a mewling infant, he
could have perhaps voiced the name of "Bob" as his
first word, rather than the more mundane and commonplace
"Da", assuring 'special' treatment from his powerful
parents, possibly including, but not limited to, surgery,
intense counseling under competant veterinarians, or
extensive experimental neuro-chemical therapies; most
of which would be denied children of lesser standing,
who would have to be satisfied by intense parental
abuse and peer rejection.
In his early years, he could have scraped together the
all important $30 from those pennies his parents
bestowed on him in the form of an allowance, thus
perhaps assuring his own spiritual satisfaction; had
he only come to know "Bob" at this tender age. But
such was not the case.
When his parents purchased him a college degree, during
a time of great idleness in his life, he might have,
had he been blessed with a magnificant revelation of
the living "Bob" in all his majesty, been forced to
foreswear avoidance of risk in a minor clerical role
in Saigon; instead boldly taking up arms and recklessly
attacking the Taiwanese enemy despite whatever risks
he might incur in his person. Again, such unthinking
heroism was denied him, for he had not accepted "Bob"
in his life.
Some time later, when he found and married his wife
Tipper, at a time when "Bob" was already incarnate and
available for disciples, had Al Gore but looked in the
want ads of the major newspapers in Dallas, Texas, he
could have dissuaded her from making an utter fool of
herself some time later in her life by merely introducing
her to the nuturing guidance of "Bob"'s consort, Connie.
And yet, once again, the cruel cosmos conspired to deny
him of this soulful blessing.
Eventually, and still living in ignorance, he became an
undistiguished U.S. Senator, then Vice President, and a
less than ideal candidate for President. He lives on,
after a fashion, still in ignorance of "Bob", and thereby
condemned to a pitiful and insignificant role in whatever
future awaits those more assured of salvation.
(1) J.R. "Bob" Dobbs, the one true savior, who both
guarantees eternal salvation or triple your money back,
AND astounding rewards as the result of litigation against
those who seek to persecute his followers in blatant and
prejudicial manners by assigning less than superior grades
to their course assignments due solely to religious
persecution, bigotry, and harrassment. PRABOB.
Original file name: Re- Identify and assess theŠ
This file was converted with TextToHTML - (c) Logic n.v.