From: DrLegume <legume@subgenius.com>
Date: Tue, Aug 1, 2000 10:38 PM
Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Starwood would not be more fun for many SubGenii,
no, not at all. I felt
> rather out of place there myself the first few
years. It's GREAT if you're
> of a hippie-ish bent, but any Holocaustalism that
you normally are able to
> hold in check always threatens to erupt, due to
the high smugness level of
> that certain type of Pink that makes alternative
and fringe festivals
> profitable.
I wouldn't go to Starwood again if you promised me a
redheaded sex
goddess that shit gold krugerrands. If I were stranded
at Brushwood
during that week, I'd WALK home.
It's NOTHING like XXXDay, the people STINK LIKE APES,
it's crowded, you
can NEVER just chill in the hot tob without sharing
it with someone VILE
and DETESTABLE, and in the hottest part of the day you
can't use the
pool because it's filled with FOUL SCABROUS PAGAN CHILDREN
and their
PISS. They have to have a special CHILDREN ONLY time
at the pool,
otherwise some scuzzy lowlife pagan will try to GROPE
AND ANALLY
PENETRATE them.
Starwood is the JERRY SPRINGER SHOW of organized Pagan
Events, only NOT
entertaining...on second thought, I formally APOLOGIZE
to any former
guests of the Springer show for comparing them to this
pack of vemin.
The only pagans there who AREN'T total ASSHOLES are
the ones who are
ALMOST total assholes.
If I had MY WAY, the whole fucking area would be NERVE-GASSED
as soon as
it filled up, and SCORCHED WITH NAPALM to destroy the
FOUL CARCASSES.
You want to see an end to the kinder, gentler Dr.Legume?
Send me to Brushwood. That'd give me enough raw hate
to last me for
YEARS.
Legume
--
If I were the ruler of your fuckhole I'd ram a rock
in your mouth, you
scum.
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From: Devolver <devolverNOdeSPAM@iquest.net.invalid>
Why does Starwood sound more fun than XXXDay? Actually
it doesn't
sound more fun but it sounds like more big, shiny objects
to
stare at. Which is cool. Why you hold out on us then
Stang, you
traitor? You should have gotten out the metallic head
at XXXDay.
And I hope you stole the pufferdome. That sounds fucking
cool. We
need bigger props at XXXXDay. Large, shiny (preferably
glowing)
objects. Damnit.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com.
Up to 100 minutes free!
http://www.keen.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Charles Mark Bee <c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>
Hey, it's not Stang's fault if you folks just aren't
connected. Stang
was great, Wei was great, ESO was great - in fact, since
we showed up a
week early, we got to see ESO do TWO radically different
concerts. Now
I can't figure out which incarnation I like better,
the party band or
the freeform jam band.
Not only that, but got to jam, after a fashion, with
Chas & Michelle
at their Improvisation workshop (with 50 other pagans,
you see)... Next
year no girlfriend is gonna talk me out of bringing
my synth.
Anyhow, I highly recommend Starwood to anyone who
has the cash to show
up - more tits per square mile than Vegas, if no other
reason.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <19b6db54.11110718@usw-ex0101-005.remarq.com>,
Devolver
<devolverNOdeSPAM@iquest.net.invalid> wrote:
> Why does Starwood sound more fun than XXXDay? Actually
it doesn't
> sound more fun but it sounds like more big, shiny
objects to
> stare at. Which is cool. Why you hold out on us
then Stang, you
> traitor? You should have gotten out the metallic
head at XXXDay.
> And I hope you stole the pufferdome. That sounds
fucking cool. We
> need bigger props at XXXXDay. Large, shiny (preferably
glowing)
> objects. Damnit.
>
I DID get out the metallic head at XXX-Day. It didn't
even arrive in the
mail at Brushwood until Friday, but I sure as hell wasn't
going to let
every Tom Dick and Bobbie know about THESE PRICELESS
OBJECTS!! However,
for the REAL troopers who stayed through, I put on an
impromptu "mad
artist" display with them and some cornstarch for
Evangela and some
friends of hers, including a guy who had JUST GOT IN
from Montana saying,
"Has the festival started yet?"
Starwood would not be more fun for many SubGenii, no,
not at all. I felt
rather out of place there myself the first few years.
It's GREAT if you're
of a hippie-ish bent, but any Holocaustalism that you
normally are able to
hold in check always threatens to erupt, due to the
high smugness level of
that certain type of Pink that makes alternative and
fringe festivals
profitable.
--
Copyright 2000 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 2nd Orthodox Stangian
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc.
Cleveland Office (Stang): PO Box 19355, Cleveland OH
44119
Dallas Office (Jesus): PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214
/ PRABOB
http://www.subgenius.com -- SubSITE of Slack
1-888-669-2323: toll free order line
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
In article <3987266A.9397C4F6@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu>,
Charles Mark Bee
<c-bee1@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> wrote:
>
>
> Hey, it's not Stang's fault if you folks just
aren't connected. Stang
> was great, Wei was great, ESO was great - in fact,
since we showed up a
> week early, we got to see ESO do TWO radically
different concerts. Now
> I can't figure out which incarnation I like better,
the party band or
> the freeform jam band.
>
> Not only that, but got to jam, after a fashion,
with Chas & Michelle
> at their Improvisation workshop (with 50 other
pagans, you see)... Next
> year no girlfriend is gonna talk me out of bringing
my synth.
>
> Anyhow, I highly recommend Starwood to anyone
who has the cash to show
> up - more tits per square mile than Vegas, if no
other reason.
It's true that you can spend an afternoon doing absolutely
nothing but
tittie-ogling. It's a plumper-lover's paradise too,
exactly like a sci fi
con if all the girls were topless. (Grannies included.)
Last week on the radio we invented "The Chant of
the Sunburned Overweight
People" in honor of Starwood. No disrespect due;
I have been of that very
number myself.
I posted a HUGE PICTORIAL about Starwood on SubSITE
last night. I mean,
HUGE. It's there mostly for my Chameleon Club friends,
and most of it will
be taken down eventually (along with most of the old
devival reports).
XXX-Day attendees will be astounded to se the first
just-Starwood page,
Starwood Sites and Sights, which is there to show you
just HOW different
our beloved Brushwood looks.
During Starwood, the great man Frank Barney, owner of
Brushwood, gets this
WORRIED LOOK on his face, and it stays there until Sunday
evening when the
masses have left.
I did talk to the Pufferdome guy at length.
--
Copyright 2000 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 2nd Orthodox Stangian
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Resop <tstcraig@erols.com>
Sister Decadence wrote:
>
> On Tue, 01 Aug 2000 10:28:41 -0700, Devolver said
in alt.slack:
>
> >Why does Starwood sound more fun than XXXDay?
>
> Only problem I have with it is TOO MANY GODDAMNED
PEOPLE. I get
> claustrophobic in big crowds. Everything ewlse
sounds like a freaking
> blast and from what our dear Chas S. has been telling
me, EVERYONE IS
> FUCKIGN THERE. They at least have the Bonobo Spirit,
unlike so many of
> our "Shy Subgenii". No offense kids,
but GET IT ON, already.
Strange, I was at the last seven starwoods and never
ONCE got even
CLOSE to having sex. Although, I did meet some people
who had had
sex at Starwood.
Maybe it has something to do with the reason why Legume
is adverse
to the idea of Starwood.
Tobor
From: Boddhisatva Troutwaxer <tungtungNOtuSPAM@pacbell.net.invalid>
DrLegume <legume@subgenius.com> wrote:
>I wouldn't go to Starwood again if you promised
me a redheaded
>sex goddess that shit gold krugerrands. If I were
stranded at
>Brushwood during that week, I'd WALK home.
I hear you Legume. You see, (and I'm terribly sorry
about having
been so, or even discussing this in a forum where some
poor
person under A HUNDRED AND FIFTY might read it, but
I must
confess my sins to the great "Bob"-tiser.)
You see, I was a pagan
until "Bob" saved me. I thought I had a direct
line to some
goddess or other, and believed that I was A growing
soul who was
gaining good karma points, but in fact I was a deforming
myself
spiritually trying to keep up with a bunch of hideous
folks who
had overwhelming ego problems, bad drug troubles (and
I don't
mean 'frop) and the social skills of a rabid and retarded
hamster with Multiple Personality Disorder... Thank
you Jehovah-1
for allowing "Bob" to save me through the
preachings of all the
mighty ranters of the SubGenius church!!!
>It's NOTHING like XXXDay, the people STINK LIKE APES,
One of the worst kind of pagans is the type who believes
that
they must smell like the worst parts of nature to be
part of
nature.
>it's crowded, you can NEVER just chill in the hot
tob without
>sharing it with someone VILE and DETESTABLE,
Its been my experience that the average pagan HP (HIGH
PRIEST/ESS) mainly wants to fuck your brain until the
cells
explode then wipe your ass with what's left. The thought
of being
stuck in a hot tub with some "Ravan Moonshadow"
type who's mainly
interested in reaming out my brain for Gerald Gardner
make me
want to puke. I once had a "Priestess" who
instead of channelling
an ancient goddess accidently drew down a woman with
a midwestern
accent who chewed out the coven members and PSYCHICALLY
VIOLATED
at least one of them. No one else had the nerve to say
anything.
This voice was officially accepted as a Goddess by the
coven. The priestess in question, who had grown up in
an abusive,
lower class house-hold on the south side of Chicago
couldn't
remember most of the events from her childhood. Gee,
I wonder
where she'd heard THAT NASTY VOICE before?
>and in the hottest part of the day you can't use
the pool
>because it's filled with FOUL SCABROUS PAGAN CHILDREN
and their
>PISS. They have to have a special CHILDREN ONLY
time at the
>pool, otherwise some scuzzy lowlife pagan will try
to GROPE AND
>ANALLY PENETRATE them.
I was actually in a coven with a guy who tried to show
a movie of
someone masturbating to a Steve Vai song while my (then)
eighteen
month old daughter was in the room. Everyone else in
the coven
was pretty cool to very cool, and the coven was consensous
based,
so that the bad mind games couldn't be played, but this
lizard corpse frottaging fuck wad actually had the nerve
to tell
me that if I DIDN'T SHOW MY DAUGHTER PORN MOVIES SHE'D
GROW UP TO
BE "REPRESSED."
>Starwood is the JERRY SPRINGER SHOW of organized
Pagan Events,
>only NOT entertaining...on second thought, I formally
APOLOGIZE
>to any former guests of the Springer show for comparing
them to
>this pack of vemin.
I don't want to say anything bad about a PARTICULAR
pagan event,
but in my experience they run anywhere from stereotypical
to
SHOGGOTH SUCKINGLY HIDEOUS. Obviously it is possible
to have real
spiritual growth happen in any religion, but in Wicca
it mainly
happens when you're alone. The pagan community in Los
Angeles
really is worse than the Jerry Springer show.... combative,
mean,
stupid, a horrible snakes nest made up of the worst
impulses of
some very nice, very loving people who can't tell the
difference
between their worst impulses and the words the goddess
speaks in
their hearts. Sadly the religion that looks damned good
on paper,
and could be very nice if anyone treated its ideas WITH
THE
RESPECT YOUR AVERAGE REPUBLICAN GRANTS TO HOMELESS BLACK
MEN WHO
PISS THEMSELVES, is ruined on on a daily basis by a
bunch of
total jerks.
>The only pagans there who AREN'T total ASSHOLES
are the ones who
are ALMOST total assholes.
Yeah. When I was a pagan, I was one of them. Not quite
as bad a
shit head as all the other dickans. Sure, I believed
that I had a
direct FUCKING line to the goddess, but I WASN'T A JERK
ABOUT IT
OR ANYTHING!! Maybe I could create really cool rituals
that
really helped people, but I BRAGGED ABOUT IT LESS THAN
THE OTHER
PAGANS TALKED ABOUT THEIR COOL RITUALS.
>If I had MY WAY, the whole fucking area would be
NERVE-GASSED as
>soon as it filled up, and SCORCHED WITH NAPALM to
destroy the
>FOUL CARCASSES.
That's a great idea. There is nothing more horrible
than a wiccan
going full out around a sacred fire, high on mugwort
and spice
rack sage, sure that having unprotected anal great rite
with the
"priestess" of the moment so the sun will
come up the next day
(or whatever) is the Green Man's will for him. To think
that I
was once one of those NHGH spawed hell beasts sickens
this humble
Boddhisatva more than he can say... I have to go into
the third
person just to talk about how awful he (I) was. Thank
you "Bob"
for saving my soul... I look forward to serving you
by endlessly
inflating blow up furniture and working swag table and
registrations, finally being consumed by the Xists,
particularly
if the alternative is to come back as one of those betraying,
kid
raping, pretend nice psycho tree hugging pseudo mammals
who Dr.
Legume is so appropriately raging about.
>You want to see an end to the kinder, gentler Dr.Legume?
>Send me to Brushwood. That'd give me enough raw
hate to last me
>for YEARS.
I can't send you to Brushwood, But I'll tell you what
Dr. Legume,
if I ever leave the path of "Bob" for a second
and go back to
being a member, founder or follower of any pagan, wiccan,
or
witchly religious group, I amm not only GIVING YOU MY
PERMISSION,
BUT AM DOWN ON MY KNESS CRYING, BEGGING, GROVELLING
AND LICKING
YOUR SMELLY, SWEATY FEET AS I PLEAD TEARFULLY that you
will once
again pick up the mighty bat, put on your stomping boots,
find
out where I live and HUNT ME DOWN, FORCEABLY "BOB"TISE
ME, THEN
IMMEDIATELY BEAT ME TO DEATH WITH THE DIVINE LOUISVILLE
SLUGGER
so that I may die without smelly, gross, stupid, pink
pagan sin,
and be dragged down to SubGenius Hell by "Bob's"
strong hands.
Even as I scream and beg, you can be sure that down
in the depths
of my soul the part of me that hates pinks and loves
"Bob" will
be thanking you for it.
T.
-----------------------------------------------------------
From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
Boddhisatva Troutwaxer <tungtungNOtuSPAM@pacbell.net.invalid>
wrote:
>But I'll tell you what Dr. Legume,
>if I ever leave the path of "Bob" for
a second and go back to
>being a member, founder or follower of any pagan,
wiccan, or
>witchly religious group, I amm not only GIVING YOU
MY PERMISSION...
Oh, you'll leave the path of "Bob" eventually.
So will I, and so will all of
us. All SubGenii schism eventually, but it's different
for each and every
one. That's one thing that separates us from the pagans:
the pagans claim
they'll be pagan "forever," but we know that
eventually we'll outgrow "Bob."
--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/
From: phloighd@yahoo.spamless.com (Phloighd)
That's somewhat dependent on what you think Bob is,
no? Bob is simply
a stand in for just about anything. As the man said,
Bob is fill in
the blank. One either uses him or gets used by him,
but you never
truly leave, unless you try to stay away from all spirituality,
and
good fucking luck with that.
p.
From: ebear@direct.ca (knockout mouse)
In article <8mkcbp$jph$1@nnrp1.deja.com>, clayton. <chaisr@hotmail.com> wrote:
> In article <398d7463.2034212@news-server>,
> phloighd@yahoo.spamless.com wrote:
> > On Sun, 06 Aug 2000 09:27:05 GMT, modemac@modemac.com
(Modemac) wrote:
> >
> > >Oh, you'll leave the path of "Bob"
eventually. So will I, and so
> will all of
> > >us. All SubGenii schism eventually, but
it's different for each and
> every
> > >one. That's one thing that separates
us from the pagans: the pagans
> claim
> > >they'll be pagan "forever,"
but we know that eventually we'll
> outgrow "Bob."
> >
> > That's somewhat dependent on what you think
Bob is, no? Bob is simply
> > a stand in for just about anything. As the
man said, Bob is fill in
> > the blank. One either uses him or gets used
by him, but you never
> > truly leave, unless you try to stay away from
all spirituality, and
> > good fucking luck with that.
> >
> > p.
> >
>
> Ignoring spirituality is in itself a form of spirituality.
No escape.
>
> --
> clayton.
>
ignoring "Bob" is in itself a form of Bob.
No escape, except by saucer...
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