Publicity Stunts

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, May 21, 2001 2:26 PM
Message-ID: <y5dO6.9$CD5.12954@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com>

One day Iceknife said that the SubGenii should go out in small groups and
start doing things that would lead to a lot of publicity. You know, joining
in Marches of various sorts and making sure to get interviewed. Or saving
some animals in a spectacular way like those GreenPeace freaks do. I think
that's an AWESOME idea! However, most of us are glued to our chairs and
couches and can't get motivated to actually GO somewhere, just to get
publicity for "Bob" or help save some animal or get someone some rights.

So then I was listening to the archived Friday show of Art Bell last night,
and he happens to mention that the Monkey Man is still terrorizing Delhi!
And I thought, now THERE'S a publicity stunt our people could really get
into! Let's form a vigilante MonkeyMan fighting team! EVERYONE in the
world would hear about "Bob" if a SubGenius Death Squad brought in the
MonkeyMan all trussed up like a Christmas turkey!!

And after that, we could go after the Mexican chupacabras, and the African
penis-stealers! I'm tellin ya, vigilante monster-fighting is the wave of
the future!
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Subject: Re: Publicity Stunts
From: phloighd@my-deja.com (Phloighd)

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@home.com> wrote in message news:<y5dO6.9$CD5.12954@news2.rdc2.tx.home.com>...
> One day Iceknife said that the SubGenii should go out in small groups and
> start doing things that would lead to a lot of publicity. You know, joining
> in Marches of various sorts and making sure to get interviewed. Or saving
> some animals in a spectacular way like those GreenPeace freaks do. I think
> that's an AWESOME idea! However, most of us are glued to our chairs and
> couches and can't get motivated to actually GO somewhere, just to get
> publicity for "Bob" or help save some animal or get someone some rights.

Were I able to muster the crowd, I'd organize a picket of 3M. They're
not making those Post-Its fast enough, I tell you! They've gotta work
harder! I tell ya, cover yourself in postits, make a sign, and
distribute press releases, and you'll get on teevee...

p.
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Subject: Re: Publicity Stunts
From: "Rabbi Jacklyn Hyde" <rabbs@subgenius.com>

The visual of that is more pressure than my medula oblongata can take...
Glad to see you back, Phloighd.

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Subject: Re: Publicity Stunts
From: shinpath@gol.com (Shining Path of Least Resistance)
"

We could have dumb costumes too, like in "Mystery Men."

Count me IN.
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From: PsYcHoTrOnIcBoDyRoCk <c-bee1@staff.uiuc.edu>

Cool, so like, who's gonna be the monkey man?
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Subject: Re: Publicity Stunts
From: iDRMRSR <alex.i.thymia@depression.org>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

Mags:
>>Let's form a vigilante MonkeyMan fighting team! EVERYONE in the
world would hear about "Bob" if a SubGenius Death Squad brought in the
MonkeyMan all trussed up like a Christmas turkey!!<<

No, I must politely disagree. We should be putting red food coloring in
our eyes and donning monkey masks, and then going out to BE the
monkey-men. That would get much more attention. Probably.

The other thing I'm mulling over is this. I'm planning to retire at any
time between tomorrow and 4/4/2004, which is when the numbers actually
work out in my favor. I was planning on inviting Rev. Stang to
officiate at my retirement party.

The place I work at is so Pink and appreciates diversity so much, that
if none of us cracked up during the proceedings, it would be as if I had
invited the Archbishop of Cleveland. I mean, people would be suspicious
that it was all a put-on, but they think that about Mormons and stuff.
Pretty much so brainwashed in accepting the unacceptable, they wouldn't
laugh out loud for fear of losing their Pink jobs, and they couldn't
even talk about it afterwards in anything but respectful terms.

I wuz even thinking, given that environment, we of the faith could all
repair to the john for a little loud excremeditation. We could explain
that in our religion, the food is blessed only after passing through us.

You must make that mental picture, as I remind you I work in a place
where people wear grey pinstriped underwear, it's so Pink. There is
hardly enough blue serge on the planet to clothe them folks. There
they'd be, outside the door, trying to look pious as Stang and I were
wailing and farting in the executive bathroom.

See, that's the thing. The Church doesn't have enough public
sacraments. If they did, people'd hafta respect us or it's their pink
asses! That is the joke of all jokes.

[*]
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Original file name: Publicity Stunts - converted on Friday, 29 June 2001, 22:34