Huey 'splains why Ashcroft be's bery bery BAD

From: HellPope Huey <ChevyTarkus@Barsoom.Ed>
Newsgroups: alt.journalism.gonzo,alt.slack,alt.politics,alt.christian,alt.discordia
Date: Thu, Dec 13, 2001 11:42 PM

In the face of All This Lately, I am reminded of Jefferson's rather Islamic
sentiment that "Rebellion to Tyrants is Obedience to God."

I believe the real problem lies in the fact that Attorney General Ashcroft is
the offspring of conservative evangelists. Having been through and then run
screaming FROM the Church of Christ, I have some taste of the jaw-dropping
hypocrisy that goes hand-in-hand with a frightening sense of righteous
entitlement in such weasels. They give the whole Christian creed a very black
eye.

The hardliner stances are bad enough, but its so close to church & state
joining hands, its scary. Its an adopted mental illness and one often evidenced
by the cruelty of such actions as his trying to repeal the Oregon compassionate
euthanasia statute.

If you watch "Politically Incorrect," you'll notice that the conservatives
generally come across like finger-pointing boobs, which does proper CONSERVATISM
an injustice as well. Its practiced with a bullhorn and a slapstick too often.
There's too strong a tint of arrogance to the Right and the religious both; Lawd
SAVE us when they cross paths.

Don't you find it bitterly ironic that the disowned Arabic rich kid bin Laden
and the pampered Ivy-league version, GWBushTwo are at philosophical opposite
poles while being similarly hard of heart? I see a nasty little thread between
them there; I believe its a strand of carbon filament. If it'll cut through a
lead pipe, just think of what it can do to global footing. Heckle & Jekyll are
in the catbird seats now.

I once again quote a real whopper by Todd Rundgren, who put it all too well:
"At the heart of every fondly-held conservative belief is a hard little nugget
of hypocrisy." Claiming Jeezis as your Lord and then fighting to keep the
terminally-ill alive is a prime example. If you can clearly define the line of
Evil between the Taliban bludgeoning to death those
who veer from their take on The Truth and Ashy's increasing of human misery via
his anti-euthanasia stance or making illegal ANY hemp products, including
shampoo, sterilized bird seed or t-shirts, you're ready for the Armageddon
version of Jeopardy. I'd almost rather be killed outright than be dragged
through years of gut-clenching and denied realization of potential.

Am I a naive doof who fails to recognize the hard surface of the "real" world
we've made for ourselves? No. The guys who created the cruise missle have sharp
fangs, to be sure, but its the ones who created a NEED for them who reach
Apprentice-Elder-God status. You'd be a pansy-level bleeding-heart type to wring
your hands over it all fruitlessly, ignoring certain realities that didn't
arrive yesterday, but as Hallmark-card-y as it may sound, it was pinched,
sharp-edged hearts that first opened the sluice, soooo, um....is there a
Buddhist in the house?

Question authority. Question the Insane, from as safe a distance as you can
muster. Question your motives, your friends, your kids, yourself. And then
question why Fruit Roll-Ups are still selling when they taste like tart raccoon
innards and can be used to patch a tire in an emergency. Evil is afoot, ah tells
ya, EEEE-vil. As evidenced by "Robot Wars."

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
I argued with Satan
over the color of the buttons
on my Demencement tuxedo

"I stay with my team.
People should stop trying to get me not to do that."
- "The West Wing"

"Its never dark in America."
-Maglite commercial

"There's my Christmas cheer,
divide it among yourse

Back to document index

Original file name: Huey 'splains why Ashcroft be's - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:31