GWAR Fans Pay Attention

From: "Rev. Squid Kid" <ask@ma.ultranet.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Nov 8, 2001 4:52 PM

I got this press release today. What follows is the "unclean" version; they
also included a "clean" version.

GWAR Lead Singer Sucks Off Cops After Awards Ceremony; Avoids Arrest

GWAR lead singer Oderus Urungus performed violent oral sex on several police
officers following a public appearance at the Universal City Hard Rock Cafe,
bringing an end to a display of wretchedness unseen since Michael Jackson's
face.

Mr. Urungus, self-proclaimed ruler of Earth, was on hand to donate a
Grammy-nominated severed penis, the "Cuttlefish of Cthulu", to the Hard
Rock's collection of rock memorabilia. Mr. Urungus then produced Chandra
Levy's severed head from a bloody sack, vowing to find the rest of her. He
also posed for pictures and bit several children's heads off.

The trouble started after police responded to a call of "exposed buttocks".
Mr. Urungus was found without pants in a "family environment". Mr. Urungus,
heavily dosed with Whale Tranquilizer, fully cooperated with authorities,
suggesting that he cover his genitals with the severed head. He stumbled out
on his own power but was quickly was surrounded by police in the parking
lot.

While police debated what to try to do with the wrathful Antarctic wargod,
Oderus began giving oral sex to Sgt. Tony Crapinzoli, a officer employed to
the complex.

"At first I didn't like it, but then damned if it didn't start to feel good.
Some of the other guys came over to check it out. Didn't take me long to
blow a huge load."

But Urungus was far from done, going from cock to cock until all the
attendant officers were insisting on similar treatment. Soon the line
stretched for blocks as a mixed group of cops, firemen, and park employees
waited to be blown.

At this point the tranquilizers wore off of Mr. Urungus, who produced a huge
broadsword and began hacking apart everything in sight. Soon the park was
engulfed in flames, the officers chopped to bits, and the roads lined with
impaled zoo animals. Mr. Urungus disappeared on a large hook that descended
from the sky, all the while bellowing obscenities.

GWAR's new album "Violence Has Arrived" is out NOW! Their 2002 "Blood
Drive"
tour starts Jan. 16. The end of the world will soon follow.

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Original file name: GWAR Fans Pay Attention - converted on Thursday, 20 December 2001, 03:29