Demise of Cacophonists parallels Stangism, m'HUNH!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Feb 12, 2002

In article <a4cha40ro7@drn.newsguy.com>, HellPope Huey
<hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> wrote:

> I received this (excerpted) news bit from art-Saint Byron Werner:
>
> "Joe Austin, a professor in the department of popular culture at Bowling
> Green State University, said the Cacophonists' plight is not unusual.

What "plight"? The Cacophony folks seem to be doing their usual
freakin' and creakin' all over the place!

Bowling Green... "DEPARTMENT OF POPULAR CULTURE"? Leave it to Ohioans.

> 'Almost all avant-garde groups have some charismatic leader, living on the
> border of a self-destructive life because of what they are involved in.
> Usually there are a lot of other people in their wake, sort of like
> lieutenants and soldiers. But that immediately sets up the problem of
> reproduction. There is no one to take over after they get tired.'"
>
> To this, the HellPopic response is:
>
> While I would submit that the 'self-destructive' part is in abeyance because
> Wei is COOKING for the crazy luvable old faux-Chinee bastardo Stang so he
> doesn't merely subsist on life-withering, microwave tube food, I can say with
> firm conviction & dick that I for shur HAVE been in his wake for a long, long
> time and will be passed out face down in the punchbowl AT his wake (Dobbs
> forbid) for a long, long time as well.

Bullshit, I'll be at your wake before you're at mine! We don't have the
problems of these other "avant-garde groups" since a) we're not one,
we're the world's oldest secret society; b) the charismatic leader,
Dobbs, can't BE self destructive, by definition, on account of his Luck
(that inability to self destruct being perhaps the most tragic of His
Great Imperfektions), c) because of X-Day, none of us will ever die.

> I also contend that the secret Zim juice "Bob" has been plying him with for 20
> years will keep him hideously ALIVE so that he can be rolled out at Devival
> after Devival, on a hand truck, like Hannibal Lecter, to cuss and cackle and
> drool and leer and gobble incoherently and then wheeled back to the frop
> "chamber" until next time.

I too share this dream.

> Bobbies will think its a "joke" or a "clone," but we older silverbacks will
> know that the shriveled, clawed human beef jerky of a man IS the original
> Stang, kept alive in a Dorian Grey fashion FOR his many, many sins.

To be honest, we do use the other guy when I'm too pissed off at
something to appear in public without bringing everybody down. But
those kinds of supermarket openings and PTA luncheons are increasingly
rare.

> The only reason he keeps suggesting that others schism off and start their OWN
> branch Churches is so that he will not be the only one to suffer this horrid
> fate and will have company in his luminous decrepitude. He is hopelessly enraged
> inside, because his service to Dobbs has left his own genitals withered and
> useless, except for when he huffs the mystical, evil Sloe Gin Dobbs fluid that
> enables him to serve the Princess as he did when he was still a young man, or
> even a man at all.

This is actually remarkably close to the truth, except for the evil
Dobbs fluid part. It's the Princess's spell that banishes the Hate. But
that's only when she's around. Right now, for instance, I'm just a
broiling, seething cauldron of unrequited Hate. (Gotta deal with the
BILLS in a few minutes)

> Ah, yes, dear friends, those golden 60 minutes are all he
> gets and then he must deinflate and return to the dungeon of whirring CD
> drives and noxious orgones, grinding out the unspeakable platters of grim-doom,
> whim-wham, kick-out jams that make your family ashamed to admit to their canasta
> pals that you even READ this group's sinister brain-flatus. SHAME on you! Not.
>
> I agree with, fillet, conflagrate, breakdance to and cleave UNTO this post.
> Praise "Bob" and hail Connie, so be it, so eat it and so FUCK it. Slack.

Awww, I'm touched. Now get your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty APE!

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 140306, Dallas, TX 75214
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>

Rev. Stang says...
>Bullshit, I'll be at your wake before you're at mine!

Prob'ly, the way things are going. Please don't steal the napkins, they're
rented.

>> and then wheeled back to the frop "chamber" until next time.
>
>I too share this dream.

You ain't sharin' shit. I still have a little scar from where you clawed me
that last time we tried to get in it at the same time. Who knew you were so
butch?

>This is actually remarkably close to the truth, except for the evil
>Dobbs fluid part. It's the Princess's spell that banishes the Hate. But
>that's only when she's around. Right now, for instance, I'm just a
>broiling, seething cauldron of unrequited Hate. (Gotta deal with the
>BILLS in a few minutes)

I grok this'un. Why, I'd be a de facto murderer right now if "SOMEONE" had been
in their office today. SO many throats to rip out, so little time....

>Awww, I'm touched. Now get your filthy paws off me, you damn dirty APE!

Oh, gettin' all UPPITY in your dotage now, are ye? Cross-species hanky-wanky
too GOOD for you anymore, after a mere 20 years? Oh well, what can I expect in a
world where a momentary, slight flinching at public bondage yields you the rep
of being a Puritan? Even when you're still sore from last night, Happy
Wangenstein!

But you still got a purdy mouf.

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
Director of "Alien Anime Sextopus"

"In order for me to get busy at maximum efficiency,
I need a girl with a big 400-ton booty."
- Bender

You've heard the one about
Hillary whispering to Bill
"Give me ten inches and hurt me!"
So he made love to her twice
and appointed David Gergen
White House communications director.
- P. J. O' Rourke

"That looks like a bowling ball with a butt crack,"
-Sarah, referring to Judy's plum

More Truth by Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
http://espn.go.com/page2/s/th
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)

Well, it looks like we have an avant garde, conceptual artist
president finally. Look at what Bush is doing. Even "Bob"
can't top THIS one.

Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston
Slack!

THE TIMES OF INDIA
Date: Thursday, February 14, 2002
______________________________________________________________________

US Planes Rain Dollars on Afghanistan
REUTERS - [THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2002 2:43:55 PM ]

HAMAN, Pakistan: US aircraft over southern Afghanistan have
scattered $100 bills tucked into envelopes bearing a picture of
President George W. Bush, witnesses said on Thursday.

Some of the envelopes were carried by the wind and fluttered
to earth over the Pakistan border town of Chaman, sending people
scrambling for the cash.
"C-130 planes dropped white-coloured paper envelopes with a
photo of President Bush and two bills of $100 each," said Abdul
Hadi, a resident of Chaman on the border with southern Afghanistan.
"They are actually dropping these over areas across the border
but a few were carried away by the wind to this side," Hadi said.
"People pushed and fought with each other to get their hands on the
envelopes."
The envelopes bore no message, the witnesses said.
The US aircraft first dropped the envelopes on Wednesday afternoon and
made a second run to drop their paper payloads on Thursday morning.
Southern Afghanistan used to be a stronghold of the vanquished
Taliban government.
The money was the latest message from the sky sent by US forces
hunting fugitive Saudi-born militant Osama bin Laden and his main
Taliban protector, the group's leader, Mullah Mohammad Omar.
In recent weeks US aircraft have dropped leaflets over the same
area depicting Mullah Omar as a dog, held on a leash by bin Laden.
Another crude cartoon dropped by US forces showed Taliban leaders as
pawns in the hands of bin Laden, playing on a chequered chessboard
map of Afghanistan.
Some of the earlier leaflets carried messages in the Pashto and Dari
languages such as, "Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda are terrorists, they
should not be given shelter, those providing shelter to them will meet
a horrible end."
The whereabouts of both bin Laden, leader of the shadowy al Qaeda
militant network and prime suspect in the September 11 attacks on New
York and Washington, and Mullah Omar are a mystery.

Your hard earned tax dollars at work, or whatever you call this.

Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston
Slack!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)

In article <3C6E7EAF.527F38B6@subgenius.com>,
Col. Sphinx Drummond <sphinx@subgenius.com> wrote:

>William Barwell wrote:
>
>> Your hard earned tax dollars at work, or whatever you call this.
>
>Amazingly enough, it's probably cheaper than bombs. I guess that's a good thing
>but it's a fucked up good thing.

No, if Presdient Fuckup is going to be kicking out tax
dollars out back of C-131s, he should be doing it over my neighborhood,
not an ex-Taliban stronghold in Afghanistan where 2 packets of
2 $100 bills each would by some ex-Taliban an AK-47, and
4 kilos of opium to smuggle into Pakistan.

The GOP in action. $243 billion dollars in tax rebates
to Enron who hadn't paid taxes in 5 years and $100
bills to goat herds in Afhganistan. Oh year, thanks
to the Bush tax giveaways, they have to steal your
Social Security Trust funds so's they can throw it
out of an airplane over Afghanistan.

Who voted for any of that?
Besides 5 insane Supreme Court members.

Did Bin Laden put something in the water?

Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston
Slack!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Col. Sphinx Drummond" <sphinx@subgenius.com>

William Barwell wrote:

> $243 billion dollars in tax rebates
> to Enron who hadn't paid taxes in 5 years

How much is it really? The $243 BILLION that you claim, the $287 million Jim
Hightower claims, or the $382 million that Rep. Bernie Sanders claims the New York
Times claims.

-Col. Sphinx Drummond TWSR
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com> hunched over a
computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, HellPope Huey <hellpopehuey@subspamgeenyus.com>
laughed madly, then wrote:

But the only reason that instigators of Weird movements tend to be
extreme and self-destructive is because it takes that kind of
intensity to GET out and STAY out of the Normal herd psychology. I
mean, it's all dick. If you don't have some huge deep secret urge to
re-integrate and get the beemer and the sharper image catalog then you
don't NEED to keep fighting it.

Why keep banging on the bars of the cell if you're OUTSIDE it?

Just wave to the monkeys when you walk by and throw them a peanut.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

I find that I get a meaningful response when I refer to christians as
"lion food".

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

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Original file name: Demise of Cacophonists parallel - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:06