A Lesson In Hate

Date: Wed, Jan 30, 2002 11:13 AM

From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

Now, we all know the Church is built on good-old fashioned HATRED. Hatred of
Normals, Pinks, Glorps, and occasionally, when we work up a good HEAD of
hatred, that would be WASTED on a human, we even direct it at each other.

But even the *masters* of hatred, such as us, should try to be humble enough
to admit that there's always more to learn. And I have been getting a good
lesson in sheer un-ADULTERATED hating these last few days, let me tell you.

You see, I was playing around on uBid, which is an online auction site like
eBay, but not as stupid. (It's mostly liquidations, as opposed to the
garage-sale motif of eBay, though they do share an oDd capitalization
scheme.) I wanted a shortwave radio so I could listen to news from other
countries for fun. (Those who think that American media has a liberal bias
should try this, it's a real eye-opener.) I obtained my shortwave radio - in
fact, I obtained two, a nice one and a multi-power (batteries, AC, solar,
dynamo) emergency one. So that was good. But whilst messing about in the
mobile communications section, I ran across some CB radios that were being
liquidated as well.

"Aha!" I thought. "That would be fun, and useful too." I have a cell phone,
but they don't work so well in emergencies, because either the repeaters go
down, or the circuits get jammed. Since I always drive on interstates, I
would rarely be in a place where somebody with a CB couldn't hear me sooner
or later. Also, listening to people talk about road conditions is usually
more reliable and informative than the commercial radio traffic reports. So
I bid on a CB radio.

Therein the first lesson in hating, or rather, a new motivation. On uBid,
unlike eBay, you *can't* snipe an auction. A new bid automatically extends
the auction another ten minutes. This was news to these shitheads, who
dragged the auction on another HOUR AND A HALF with their paltry little bid
increases. True, they might have been waging a war of attrition, but it was
just plain annoying, says I, and the curses I directed upon them should
shortly be melting their innards. But I digress.

Despite the work of the shithead conspiracy, I managed to obtain a very nice
CB radio with a scanner function, quite inexpensively. Since I love gizmos,
the prospect of having this managed to overcome *most* of my ire, and when
it arrived a few days later, I was a happy little geek indeed. After
purloining some batteries from the shop (it's one of the little handheld
ones) I put it in the car for the ride home.

And therein, dear friends, the main lesson in hating. Because most of the
people who use CB radio, at least that I can hear, are truckers. (Truckers
usually hang out on channel 19, incidentally.) And truckers know how to
hate.

They hate people in cars.

They REALLY hate people in cars.

You have no idea.

They refer to cars and the people who drive them as "four-wheelers." And
four-wheelers are an absolute menace to trucks, especially in crowded
highway driving. Cars are faster and more manueverable than trucks. (Is any
of this coming back from Driver's Ed?) Cars can make trucks have accidents
and then blithely speed off into the sunset. And all this makes truckers
very, very angry.

Truckers hate four-wheelers so much that they don't even get mad. You can
feel the hatred just dripping off their voices, but they are so expectant of
vast and imaginative stupidity on the part of cars that they treat it like a
joke. It's almost SubGenius in its humorous loathing of all things
automobile. It is inspirational, it really is.

So, dear friends, let that be a lesson to you. There's noplace that doesn't
hold some wonderful surprise for the SubGenius who is willing to pay
attention. I've almost stopped listening to the car radio now, simply
because the scanner is so much more entertaining. After the fourth analysis
of Bush's speech last night, for instance, I turned it off entirely and
listened to the truckers bitching about the snow, and the four-wheelers, and
the four-wheelers IN the snow, and it was delightful.

St. Marc

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: lyonderboy666@hotmail.com (Anti Pope Lupus of SI)

I am hating people lately, Marc. I am hating people so ferociously
that I've never had so much free energy before. That's when it hit
me.

Hate is the only emotion that can provide you sustinence.

-APLY

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

"All that hate's gonna burn you up inside, kid."

"[No, it] Keeps me warm."

--- "Red Dawn," living proof that in Hollywood there are no sins that cannot
be forgiven. (Many of its stars went on to have actual careers.)

Hate is the great motivator. Hate conquers all. Hate produces most
masterpieces. (Artists hate critics more than they love art, IME.) Hate
produces most successes. (The desire to "show them all," besides inspiring
untold mad scientists, pushes we geeks into high-paying careers to get back
at those we hate.) Hate saves the world. (It wasn't love of democracy that
won the Cold War. It was hatred of godless Commies.)

Hate frequently bleeds over into other areas. Often hate masquerades as
love. "I beat him up because he was messing with my wife." You love your
wife, but love didn't motivate you. Hate did. You hate people who mess with
your wife, because you love her. Hatred, like "Bob" and Elvis, is
everywhere. Even they are its children. Could Elvis have been so powerful if
so many hadn't hated him and all he stood for? Could "Bob" really sell the
souls of BILLIONS of Normals to unimaginably horrible Alien Space Gods if he
did not have hatred for them, a hatred so intense, so pure, that it really
is a sort of transcendent love? (They're better off as hors d'oevres for
Cthuloid monsters from beyond the fifth dimension than living as what they
are, after all. "Bob" knows this.) Praise Hate!

As for CB radio, if you'd like exposure to this wide world of hate, you can
go to www.ubid.com and pick you up a little handheld CB to carry in your car
or whatever. (The place I bought it from also sells direct at
http://app.infopia.com/Shop/Control?scat=11599&SFV=12816 .) It's really
quite Amusing.

St. Marc

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Original file name: A Lesson In Hate.txt - converted on Friday, 20 September 2002, 16:08