a lovelorn, sentimental, sensitive yard man sincerely seeking advice



From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Apr 21, 2002

..
.
.
.
There's this woman that I'm just dying to savagely buttfuck with a 40
grit sandpaper condom, using a mixture of sterno and habanero sauce as
a lubricant.

can anybody think of a good opening line?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)

>There's this woman that I'm just dying to savagely buttfuck with  a 40
>grit sandpaper condom, using a mixture of sterno and habanero sauce as
>a lubricant.
>
>can anybody think of a good opening line?

Try :  "Hey, baby! What's your sign?"  


"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: HellPopeHuey

In article <20020421133900.05314.00004465@mb-co.aol.com>,
rlan538885@aol.comnobozos says...

>
>Try: "Hey, baby! What's your sign?"  

"Excuse me, I think I lost a contact in there. Would you mind...?"

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
   Shut up or we'll condemn you to Branson  

 It does no harm just once in a while to acknowledge
   that the whole country isn't in flames,
    that there are people in the country besides
      politicians, entertainers, and criminals.
                   - Charles Kuralt

 "Interesting...CRAP, but interesting."
                   - "Drew Carey"


----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Rev dode

yard man wrote:

> .
> There's this woman that I'm just dying to savagely buttfuck with  a 40
> grit sandpaper condom, using a mixture of sterno and habanero sauce as
> a lubricant.
>
> can anybody think of a good opening line?

Growel, hubba hubba wonk wonk AaaahWoooooooGah.

--
Change (pee) to p for mail

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

Rev dode hunched over a computer, typing
feverishly;
thunder crashed, Rev dode laughed madly, then
wrote:

>yard man wrote:
>
>Growel, hubba hubba wonk wonk AaaahWoooooooGah.
>

http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com/pic/debeers.jpg

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

EMBRACE the SUCKINESS


Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Rev dode

Joe Cosby wrote:

> http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com/pic/debeers.jpg
>

Typical American response, reach for the wallet some of us are poor, or if
strictly speaking poor too mean to pay for sex even subtly.

--
Change (pee) to p for mail

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Blackout"

"Rev dode"  wrote

> Typical American response, reach for the wallet some of us are poor,
or if
> strictly speaking poor too mean to pay for sex even subtly.

well spoken, sir.

P.S. does anyone have the slightest idea what the fuck that steaming
pile of words was supposed to have meant?



----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Hilbert Hooper Aspaspia"

"yard man" > wrote in message > ..
> .
> There's this woman that I'm just dying to savagely buttfuck with  a 40
> grit sandpaper condom, using a mixture of sterno and habanero sauce as
> a lubricant.

I see you've met Genny!

> can anybody think of a good opening line?
I'm thinking...............



----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: El Queso

How 'bout "Hi mom."?
Queso

yard man wrote:
> .
> There's this woman that I'm just dying to savagely buttfuck with  a 40
> grit sandpaper condom, using a mixture of sterno and habanero sauce as
> a lubricant.
>
> can anybody think of a good opening line?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

On Mon, 22 Apr 2002 10:45:41 GMT, El Queso
wrote:

>How 'bout "Hi mom."?
>Queso

well, if yours is available, send me some pictures of her. I mean, if
you haven't already gotton her so slack in the sphincter that it would
be a waste of effort to feed her seat a hunk of meat.

please quit sending the ones of yourself, though. I don't get off on
photos of fat, broke, useless drunks in their underwear sucking off
hogs and stuff.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kconvery@ioma.com (The Bishop)

Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man) wrote in message news:<3cc413ef.346274396@news.mindspring.com>...
>
> please quit sending the ones of yourself, though. I don't get off on
> photos of fat, broke, useless drunks in their underwear sucking off
> hogs and stuff.

 Struck a nerve, did he?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Rev dode

The Bishop wrote:

> Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man) wrote in message
> news:<3cc413ef.346274396@news.mindspring.com>...
>
>   Struck a nerve, did he?

You really are almost impressively limp, if I had a kill file I wouldn't
waste it on you.

--
Change (pee) to p for mail

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

On 22 Apr 2002 11:17:07 -0700, kconvery@ioma.com (The Bishop) wrote:

>Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man) wrote in message news:<3cc413ef.346274396@news.mindspring.com>...
>
>  Struck a nerve, did he?

oh, now that's fucking original.

And everybody says you're a horse's ass.

Jeeez. Bet they feel foolish now.

Isn't it time for my medication, too?



----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus

El Queso wrote:
>
> How 'bout "Hi mom."?
> Queso
>

You da man Queso.

--
Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus

Cathareuse Ordre de Frites
Salvian HP Synod

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Honk.blrpHOOOARGHH@excuseMe.com (yard man)

On Mon, 22 Apr 2002 08:08:31 -0600, Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus
wrote:

>
>You da man Queso.

the man for you, anyway.

take him. I think he's pretty much paid for. And I'm sure you can't
afford anything better.



----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus

yard man wrote:
>
> the man for you, anyway.
>
> take him. I think he's pretty much paid for. And I'm sure you can't
> afford anything better.

Shit. Now *you* da man. Better quit while you're ahead.

--
Monseignor Tartarus Sanctus

Cathareuse Ordre de Frites
Salvian HP Synod

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: El Queso

I'm paid in SLACK - you are paid for being pressed between a matress and
a lineup of drunken fratboys.
Queso

yard man wrote:
>
> the man for you, anyway.
>
> take him. I think he's pretty much paid for. And I'm sure you can't
> afford anything better.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench

In article <3cc2e158.267775210@news.mindspring.com>, yard man
wrote:

> There's this woman that I'm just dying to savagely buttfuck with  a 40
> grit sandpaper condom, using a mixture of sterno and habanero sauce as
> a lubricant.
>
> can anybody think of a good opening line?

A good sewer snake will open her up in no time, but once the initial
blockage is clear I recommend a 10-speed bicycle inner tube inserted
deeply with the stem sticking out so you can inflate it to about 40
PSI. Then she should be open enough for you. But make sure there's no
leaks in the tire or you might have to find another woman.


Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

 

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