Alan Dean Foster: SubGenius? Or Pervert?

From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday,alt.sloak
Date: Sat, Dec 14, 2002 9:45 AM

Or maybe both?

"The Splinter of the Mind's Eye" is a Star Wars tie-in novel by Alan Dean
Foster. It is funnier in hindsight because throughout it Luke is lusting
after Princess Leia, he he he.

But right here on page 4 it says:
"If I don't arrive, they'll panic. We'll have one Stang of a time getting
them to surface again."

(Stang is written in italics)

And on the next page:
"We could find ourselves marooned forever on this empty world, without
companionship, without knowledge tapes, without ... without lubricants!"

(lubricants is also italicized)

And later in the book is perhaps my new favorite expression for male gutsacks:

"Grammell added no color to his surroundings. His face was eggshell-pale,
and the image of the Imperial officer was tarnished further when he stood
to reveal a modest paunch curving gently from beneath his sternum like a
frozen waterfall of suet, to crash and tumble somewhere below the waistline
in a jumble of uniform."

"Laws that forbid the carrying of arms...disarm only those who are neither
inclined nor determined to commit crimes... Such laws make things worse for
the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage
than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater
confidence than an armed man."
--Thomas Jefferson, quoting Cesare Beccaria

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <friday-ya02408000R1412020947340001@news.earthlink.net>,
Friday Jones <friday@fridayjones.com> wrote:

> Or maybe both?
>
> "The Splinter of the Mind's Eye" is a Star Wars tie-in novel by Alan Dean
> Foster. It is funnier in hindsight because throughout it Luke is lusting
> after Princess Leia, he he he.
>
> But right here on page 4 it says:
> "If I don't arrive, they'll panic. We'll have one Stang of a time getting
> them to surface again."
>
> (Stang is written in italics)
>

Once they did succeed in getting whatever to the surface again, they
probably said, "Took more than a few Drummonds of luck to pull that one
off!"

Harry Harrison mentions the SubGenius religion in his Bill the Galactic
Superhero series (Bill is somewhat Dobbslike himself), and there are
some other sf Hints which escape me right now, but my personal favorite
one is a a very obscure reference in Greg Benford's Galactic Center
series, where a man living near the very end of time (which occurs in
this series) is depicted as having numerous ornaments hanging from his
clothes, including a belt buckle showing a grinning man's face smoking
a pipe.

None of these guys ever sent in their $30, far as I know, so while
their books might live on, they won't.

Douglas Adams introduced a planet named Bob into his Hitchhikers'
Guide, long before the planet Bob that ends Titan AE; I dunno if that's
suggested by our Dobbs, but about 2 years earlier I had personally
handed Adams a gift BOOK OF THE SUBGENIUS at a book signing.

This was long before he died. He survived his initial free SubGenius
gift much longer than did L. Ron Hubbard, Phil Dick or Bill Hicks, who
all died within a month of being mailed a free Membership. We didn't
MEAN to kill ANY of them.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> This was long before he died. He survived his
> initial free SubGenius gift much longer than did
> L. Ron Hubbard, Phil Dick or Bill Hicks, who all
> died within a month of being mailed a free
> Membership. We didn't MEAN to kill ANY of them.
>

BUT YOU DID! Thwap! Thwap!

--
"This hedgehog will live with us!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Sat, 14 Dec 2002 11:27:45 -0500, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>This was long before he died. He survived his initial free SubGenius
>gift much longer than did L. Ron Hubbard, Phil Dick or Bill Hicks, who
>all died within a month of being mailed a free Membership. We didn't
>MEAN to kill ANY of them.

I nominate that for semi-official subgenius motto

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

We didn't MEAN to kill ANY of them.

- Semi-official Subgenius Motto (www.subgenius.com)
----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: pope_phil@subgenius.tvv (pope phil monty)

Rudy Rucker's "the hacker and the ants" has an appearance of Dobbs in a
collection of 3-d VR clipart - his pipe gets clipped and used as a control
device on the hero's VR avatar.

Philllllll (Amsterdam 2002 survivor)

Phireworks Phil Monty
Pope of the North of England
speaking for UK SubGenius Heresy.
incorporating the Church of Scatology and science of DIURETICS
_________________________________
"remember: If you`re not offending somebody, then you're not doing it right"

#spon#
netplace: #deleted#

and...

For the benefit of Spambots everywhere:
webmaster@localhost abuse@localhost postmaster@localhost

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3DFC2819.5021C747@yahooX.com>, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
wrote:

>
> Rudy Rucker always includes either "Bob" of the actual Secret of the
> Universe in every one of his books.

But that doesn't COUNT, see, because Rev. Rucker is a dues paying
SubGenius who hangs out. Same with Pissbaptist John Shirley, who used
"Bob" and even Sterno as characters several times in sf and horror
stories. And Nancy Collins, aka Rev. Nanzi Regalia. And the artist
Michael Whelan has worked Dobbs into covers. And you for that matter
have pissed off smarm-meister publishers by integrating Dobbs into
nonDobbish book graphics.

But since you and Rucker and Shirley are just regular nose pickin', ass
scratchin,' dues-paying SubGenii whose houses I and others have messed
up more than once, you're not BIG and IMPORTANT like writers and
artists who never gave us the time of day outside of their little
tip-o-the-hat, see. Just like here in the real world of alt.slack.
Somebody busts ass writing the greatest, funniest, most perceptive
essay in the world, and the response, if any, is the pointing out of a
misspelling. A post consisting of a two word movie title, however, can
elicit whole bad essays, dozens of them.

Everything's dack asswarbs that way. Heck, there are whole books
entirely about "Bob" which are almost never mentioned or refered to
here.

The social aspects of this religion appear to overpower the creative
and artistical-like aspects sometimes. Which I guess is what makes it
different from most art thangs, and more like a real religion, or at
least a bingo parlor gossip-fest.

Not that I'm complaining about this. I like hearing the gossip myself.
Lucky for me, I forget it almost immediately.

Speaking of The Day, and past works of art and the social circle, and
forgetting, yesterday I started to START going through the boxes of
papers that remind me what happened during the last 49 years. I have
started making a rough history of the Church etc., and of me etc.,
since for me the two are difficult to separate. (I did separate them.
The Timeline text file has two columns, left being Church and right
being Me... I'm gonna add the Church timeline to SubSITE with lots of
links, but the Me timeline will turn into a funny story starring all my
crazee, whackee friends and acquaintances in real life.)

Anyway, what I found in the first few boxes was a realization of just
how much I was on the VERGE of FORGETTING. But it all comes rushing
back when you handle the old OBJECTS, you know? And I kept ALL of the
important objects, it seems. Good thing, too, because the memories were
recorded on tissue paper inside my head.

HOOO boy are there some interesting memories in that box. I can't wait
to find out what happened in SubGeniusland between 1987 and 1990.
Before and after that period, no problem. But I have yet to even figure
out if anything DID happen then, or if I simply wasn't that INTERESTED
in it then. I suspect that the answers lie in the box of carefully
labeled 8mm videotapes, which I haven't looked at, and I suspect that
the answer is, I was busy raising children. I remember a hell of a lot
of THAT, for sure. Maybe that's all there was, then.

Just before I went to bed, I found my Elementary School Yearbooks.
Birdville Elementary from 1960 to 1965, with photos of every kid I went
to school with, every girl I wanted to screw, without even knowing what
screwing was... I had strange dreams.

Right after First grade, I had apparently used the little photo
yearbook to work voodoo. I had defaced the photo of my beautiful
classmate Georgia Nolen, my first unrequited love. (Of HUNDREDS.) And I
had likewise defaced the photo of a hot looking young teacher aid that
I must have seriously lusted after. At age 6. What cracked me up was
that I had also BEHEADED THE PRINCIPAL, Mr. Parish.

I worked out my feelings. That little Georgia Nolen girl? Dead ringer
for Princess Wei as a child. I guess I NAILED GEORGIA AFTER ALL! In a
manner of speaking. The part I was interested in, anyway. The
Principle? Wouldn't it be great to learn that he HAD died in some weird
accident, decapitated in a car wreck or something. (The only reason I
disliked him was probably simply because he was the figure of greatest
authority in the school. Or maybe I heard my parents gripe about him.)

There were even photos of Mrs. Darden. I have managed to immortalize
Mrs. Darden -- she's the all purpose "hated 5th grade teacher" that I
always mention in devival rants as an example of the kind of Pink you
can come back and get revenge on, come X-Day.

I should start mentioning the Mrs. Neindorfs of the world, the "good
4th grade teachers" that encourage one to draw comic books and the
like. AND WHO, DECADES LATER, JOIN THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS!

Now that I'm finally "fucking Georgia Nolen," I'm not bitter anymore,
see.

I am only procrastinating, however.

I should mention -- had a couple of weird moments while going through
VERY old files. There was a box, unopened for decades. In it were
files, unbrowsed since placed there IN 1972.

I opened a file folder of 8th grade English papers, 1966, which I kept
for some reason. Graded essays with criticism from the teacher. (He was
a good teacher!) At the first one I pulled out at random, written in my
shitty handwriting as the title of the essay, was

"DRUMMOND"

It was an essay about the lawyer in the Scopes monkey trial. But I
about half lakked to shit when I saw that. Thought for a second it was
time control gone out of control. I didn't meet Dr. Philo Drummond
until 1976.

(BUT GET THIS! I did often SIT in a THEATER with Philo and his brother
Sphinx, WITHOUT KNOWING IT OR THEM, between ages 9 and 12, at all the
Saturday kids Matinees at the Haltom Theater in Fort Worth (now a Sam's
outlet).) Probably gave each other dirty looks at some point, nudging
our brothers and saying, "Look it them stupit lookin' poebucker kids
over there!")

I am only procrastinating, however.

MUST... DO... STUFF *NOW*!

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Alan Dean Foster: SubGenius? Or Pervert?
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday,alt.sloak
Date: Sun, Dec 15, 2002 3:04 PM

>
>Everything's dack asswarbs that way.

The dark asswarbs are everywhere, floating around ruining things. And
they're invisible, so you can only SEE them if you are SPECIAL.

>----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Alan Dean Foster: SubGenius? Or Pervert?
From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)
Newsgroups: alt.slack,alt.friday,alt.sloak
Date: Sun, Dec 15, 2002 9:27 PM
Message-ID: <friday-ya02408000R1512022128360001@news.earthlink.net>

In article <151220021436125223%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. Ivan Stang"
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:

>MUST... DO... STUFF *NOW*!

Don't you really mean

MUST ... STUFF ... DOE ... NOW!

Libertarians are just survivalists who don't know how to survive.
- Niall

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <20021215123824.29663.00000099@mb-cv.aol.com>, James T. Rex
King of the Monsters <mshotz@aol.comnospam> wrote:

> >> Harry Harrison mentions the SubGenius religion in his Bill the Galactic
> >> Superhero series (Bill is somewhat Dobbslike himself), and there are
> >> some other sf Hints which escape me right now, but my personal favorite
> >> one is a a very obscure reference in Greg Benford's Galactic Center
> >> series, where a man living near the very end of time (which occurs in
> >> this series) is depicted as having numerous ornaments hanging from his
> >> clothes, including a belt buckle showing a grinning man's face smoking
> >> a pipe.

WEST OF EDEN, RETURN TO EDEN and WINTER IN EDEN by Harry Harrison is an
AMAZING series taking place in a parallel Earth where the dinosaurs
were never wiped out in Africa, Asia and Europe. So dinosaurs evolved
intelligence in the Old World, while mammals evolved in the Americas
into men. It's a great set-up for Cave Men Vs. Dinosaurs, but it's more
like Indians versus bio-engineering aliens. The dinosaur people
(actually descendents of mosasaurs) have a cool as hell culture and
language that is unlike anything I've encountered in any other science
fiction. This is nothing like those Mahars or whatever they're called
in Pellucidar. They're more like... politicians. REALLY creepy and as
far from human as one can imagine, short of hydrogen-based life forms.

There is a VERY strange sex scene between a Dino Queen and her slave
human. When the human escapes dinoland and rejoins his people, the only
girl he can get hot for is a severely hairlipped woman... she kinda
looks more dino-like.

The plotting of this series is not according to standard thriller
formula... it's clunky and dreamlike but that makes it extra cool. It
would NOT make a good miniseries without being drastically cliche'd-up.

The series is a MUST for dinosaur fetishists.

Connie's mom's title "Eistaa" means "Queen" in the dinosaur language
revealed in this series.

Say, I wonder if anybody ever pointed that out to Harry Harrison!

Huh. Apparently he and us Subs waved to each other from "passing cars"
so to speak. Over a long period of time, and through the slow vehicle
of paperback books.

I am REALLY procrastinating now. NO!! No I'm not. I'm adding to "THINGS
TO SEE SAY AND DO."

Last night while rooting, I found a folder with that label on, it dated
1974 and it was SERIOUS... it was a list of things for me to do. I
still haven't done some of them.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Sat, 14 Dec 2002 22:58:33 -0800, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:

>Rudy Rucker always includes either "Bob" of the actual Secret of the
>Universe in every one of his books.

I didn't know Rucker had been Initiated Into Our Mysteries.

Sometimes everything goes full circle. He is responsible for my
earliest psychedelic experiences. I read "Geometry, Relativity and
the Fourth Dimension" when I was young. Before I had tried any
hallucinogenic drugs, just smoked a little grass on and off. I was
starting to get heavily into zen though, so I had the knack of being
able to put myself into a particular mental state for hours at a time.

The book intrigued me and I started trying to teach myself to
visualize things in four dimensions. I already had a few similar
meditations like watching trees grow and slow water. Eventually it
snapped and I could lead myself mentally through this four-dimensional
virtual reality. I could only keep it up for a few seconds at a time,
probably a minute tops.

Then shortly after that time I discovered acid so all that 'hours of
careful meditation' stuff kind of went by the wayside.

Praise Rudy.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

The mourning of young widows is as brief as a noonday candle

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Original file name: Alan Dean Foster- Su.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 16:37