KallistiCon: A Discordian (un)Convention

From: Saint Mae <haileris@idiom.com>
Newsgroups: alt.discordia,alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jun 18, 2002 8:00 PM
Message-ID: <aeohja$21km$1@news.idiom.com>

Hail Eris!

Saint Mae and Discordian.com are hosting the second annual KallistiCon on
July 5-7, in the San Francisco bay area. Costs for the whole weekend
(including food, van rental, and a film screening by Antero Alli) will be
somewhere between $60-100. If you are interested, check out:

http://www.discordian.com/kallisticon

All hail Discordia!

----- ----- -----
Episkopos Pope Saint Mae Victoria the Red Sage, KSC
www.discordian.com ---->5<---- stmae@discordian.com
PO Box 281314, San Francisco, California 94128-1314
----- ----- -----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kreaper@ufl.edu (Archbishop Shaggy)

Just wondering why I can't find a link to the Principia on
discordian.com, seems like the kind of thing that you'd want to link
to on that site.

I mean geesh, even my site has a link to it-------- and yet no
webrings will add me *sniff*
Archbishop Shaggy the Mental
Lost Reality Cabal

http://IllusionsEnd.tripod.com/asylum.html

If your so damn sane then why aren't YOU wearing this straight jacket?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

fuck yer accordians.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

I wouldnt mind finding Bob Dean's tongue in my mouth, as long as the rest of
him wasn't attached to the end of it.
- shizoor

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kreaper@ufl.edu (Archbishop Shaggy)

On Tue, 25 Jun 2002 02:33:06 GMT, joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
opened up his yaphole and blithered out

>fuck yer accordians.

Well sir, I own no accordians, and even if I did, I can not figure out
which aperture would be the proper one to fuck. So therefore I cannot
comply with your request at this time. I will however make sure to
log it and place it in our files in case of the event that I come into
possession of an anatomically correct accordian.

For better service please deliver all requests and complaints into
oncoming traffic.
Archbishop Shaggy the Mental
Lost Reality Cabal

http://IllusionsEnd.tripod.com/asylum.html

If your so damn sane then why aren't YOU wearing this straight jacket?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

Look MISTER PICKY

1. drop trousers
2. obtain erection
3. orient in the direction of accordian
4. LEAP.

OK?

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Law is a collection of social bargains. We trade the freedom to enter the homes of
other people for the right to deny unwanted intruders access to our homes. We trade
the freedom to kill anyone we wish for the assurance that we ourselves will not be
murdered. Anyone who chooses to set aside the restrictions of law in so doing
absolves him or herself of its protections as well. If an armed intruder breaks into your
home, it's reasonable to assume that they do so wearing a target.


Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kreaper@ufl.edu (Archbishop Shaggy)

On Thu, 27 Jun 2002 06:24:38 GMT, joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
wrote:

>Look MISTER PICKY
>
>1. drop trousers
>2. obtain erection
>3. orient in the direction of accordian
>4. LEAP.
>
>OK?

OK!

Can I borrow your accordian?
Archbishop Shaggy the Mental
Lost Reality Cabal

http://IllusionsEnd.tripod.com/asylum.html

If your so damn sane then why aren't YOU wearing this straight jacket?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: cmiller@trellis.net (Almerich)

On June 27 2002, kreaper@ufl.edu (Archbishop Shaggy) wrote:

> Well sir, I own no accordians, and even if I did, I can not figure out
> which aperture would be the proper one to fuck. So therefore I cannot
> comply with your request at this time. I will however make sure to
> log it and place it in our files in case of the event that I come into
> possession of an anatomically correct accordian.

Well, it's well established that the MOST IMPORTANT THING about an
accordion is the way the AIR SMELLS when it comes out of the LITTLE
HOLES.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kreaper@ufl.edu (Archbishop Shaggy)

Well, it's time once again for me to pick a fight with the
sub-geniuses.

Bob is a pussy!!!!

How's that for a start.

Oh yeah, your little X-day (insert number here) gatherings are about
as entertaining as a flock of seaguls concert.

That one should piss off 80's pop-rockers too.

Why am I picking a fight with the sub-geniuses?

Because they are pseudo-nutcases.

If they were true nut-cases then I would cheer on their mindless
blatherings and say "Shine on you crazy diamonds"

Ok so I stole that line from Mr. Waters.

They just hold this thing as an excuse to pretend to be wierd and
different.

If you were truly wierd and different you wouldn't agree on anything
and there'd be no dogma in your sub culture religion.

So down with the conformist anti-conformists I say!!!!

Up with chaos and argument so vehement that all sermons end in a
severe beating of someone by someone else.

There is no one truth, there is no secret, we're all just delusional
psycopaths whistling in the dark.

Xists are just the result of a bad batch of acid eaten before a sci-fi
movie marathon.

In conclusion, lick me. right here ------> X
(Were you one of the lucky 25)

Wonder if that'll start a fight.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>

Archbishop Shaggy wrote:

> They just hold this thing as an excuse to pretend to be wierd and
> different.

Praise the EXCUSE!

--
"Remember, the plural of 'moron' is 'focus group'."
-- James A. Wolf

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: blankx@midway.uchicago.edu (Jason Christopher Romero)

In article <3d17cc46.1506109@news.ufl.edu>,
Archbishop Shaggy <kreaper@ufl.edu> wrote:

>
>Well, it's time once again for me to pick a fight with the
>sub-geniuses.
>
>Bob is a pussy!!!!
>
>How's that for a start.
>
>Oh yeah, your little X-day (insert number here) gatherings are about
>as entertaining as a flock of seaguls concert.
>
>That one should piss off 80's pop-rockers too.
>
>Why am I picking a fight with the sub-geniuses?
>
>Because they are pseudo-nutcases.
>
>If they were true nut-cases then I would cheer on their mindless
>blatherings and say "Shine on you crazy diamonds"
>
>Ok so I stole that line from Mr. Waters.
>
>They just hold this thing as an excuse to pretend to be wierd and
>different.
>
>If you were truly wierd and different you wouldn't agree on anything
>and there'd be no dogma in your sub culture religion.
>
>So down with the conformist anti-conformists I say!!!!
>
>Up with chaos and argument so vehement that all sermons end in a
>severe beating of someone by someone else.
>
>There is no one truth, there is no secret, we're all just delusional
>psycopaths whistling in the dark.
>
>Xists are just the result of a bad batch of acid eaten before a sci-fi
>movie marathon.
>
>In conclusion, lick me. right here ------> X
>(Were you one of the lucky 25)
>
>Wonder if that'll start a fight.
>
>Archbishop Shaggy the Mental
>Lost Reality Cabal
>
>http://IllusionsEnd.tripod.com/asylum.html
>
>If your so damn sane then why aren't YOU wearing this straight jacket?

As a Yetiriaist I find this most distressing. How can you attack "Bob"'s
dogma when the porcelain oracle divined Principia Discordia clearly
states:

"And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order =
escalation of Disorder!"
[H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6]

Also:

[To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a
trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the
creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both
order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only accept creative
disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to
reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder.

POEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward
the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible
and desirable; and that destructive order, like destructive disorder, is
unnecessary and undesirable.

Seek the Sacred Chao - therein you will find the foolishness of all
ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same!]

It is difficult to tell whether you are pushing forth order or disorder,
but it does seem to be destructive, and that bloats my pineal gland
disrupting my ability to properly communicate with Eris.

GOD // Damnation // Rev. Blank X. None

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> hunched over
a computer, typing feverishly;

>
>A philosophical ballyhoo, if you ask me. One cannot create without
>destroying, and vice versa. For instance, if I were to bash in a
>Discordian's head with a ten-pound sledgehammer, I'd destroy the
>head--but I'd create a TERRIFIC mess!
>

pwishhhhhh

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

It is not a lack of love,
but a lack of friendship
that makes unhappy marriages.
- Friedrich Nietzsche


Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>

Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench wrote:

> Her Ladyship Lilith
> recovering Discordian

'Re-covering'? You got drunk and took all your clothes off?

--
"Remember, the plural of 'moron' is 'focus group'."
-- James A. Wolf

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kreaper@ufl.edu (Archbishop Shaggy)

On Tue, 25 Jun 2002 15:40:50 GMT, blankx@midway.uchicago.edu (Jason
Christopher Romero) wrote:

>In article <3d17cc46.1506109@news.ufl.edu>,
>Archbishop Shaggy <kreaper@ufl.edu> wrote:
>>On Sat, 22 Jun 2002 12:59:58 -0700, Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench
>><lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:

>
>As a Yetiriaist I find this most distressing. How can you attack "Bob"'s
>dogma when the porcelain oracle divined Principia Discordia clearly
>states:
>
>"And, behold, thusly was the Law formulated: Imposition of Order =
>escalation of Disorder!"
> [H.B.T. ; The Gospel According to Fred, 1:6]
>
>Also:
>
>[To choose order over disorder, or disorder over order, is to accept a
>trip composed of both the creative and the destructive. But to choose the
>creative over the destructive is an all-creative trip composed of both
>order and disorder. To accomplish this, one need only accept creative
>disorder along with, and equal to, creative order, and also willing to
>reject destructive order as an undesirable equal to destructive disorder.
>
>POEE proclaims that the other division is preferable, and we work toward
>the proposition that creative disorder, like creative order, is possible
>and desirable; and that destructive order, like destructive disorder, is
>unnecessary and undesirable.
>
>Seek the Sacred Chao - therein you will find the foolishness of all
>ORDER/DISORDER. They are the same!]
>
>It is difficult to tell whether you are pushing forth order or disorder,
>but it does seem to be destructive, and that bloats my pineal gland
>disrupting my ability to properly communicate with Eris.
>
>GOD // Damnation // Rev. Blank X. None
>
>

Well damn, that's far more serious than I was trying to be. But
Touchee (I have no idea how thats really spelled), I conscede that
your logic is sound, but I will still pick fights with sub-genius....
call it a mutated version of sibling rivalry.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Arbane the Terrible <arbane@attbi.com>

Archbishop Shaggy wrote:

> Well damn, that's far more serious than I was trying to be. But
> Touchee (I have no idea how thats really spelled), I conscede that
> your logic is sound, but I will still pick fights with sub-genius....
> call it a mutated version of sibling rivalry.

Ever see kittens 'playing'? Same thing. It refines our argumutation skiss
and keeps our verbal claws sharp.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: wbarwell@starbase.neosoft.com (William Barwell)

In article <3d17cc46.1506109@news.ufl.edu>,
Archbishop Shaggy <kreaper@ufl.edu> wrote:

>
>Bob is a pussy!!!!

Only on weekends.

>
>How's that for a start.
>
>Oh yeah, your little X-day (insert number here) gatherings are about
>as entertaining as a flock of seaguls concert.
>

Its fun to feed them Alka Seltzer tablets.

>That one should piss off 80's pop-rockers too.
>

Could you define pop-rock?

>Why am I picking a fight with the sub-geniuses?
>
>Because they are pseudo-nutcases.
>

We keep trying to be insane but we aren't pink enough
to pull it off.

>If they were true nut-cases then I would cheer on their mindless
>blatherings and say "Shine on you crazy diamonds"
>
>Ok so I stole that line from Mr. Waters.

Now she's gonna sue. You should have just
kept quiet about it.

>They just hold this thing as an excuse to pretend to be wierd and
>different.
>
>If you were truly wierd and different you wouldn't agree on anything
>and there'd be no dogma in your sub culture religion.

Its a fake religion with fake dogmas.

>So down with the conformist anti-conformists I say!!!!

A conformist cliche....

>Up with chaos and argument so vehement that all sermons end in a
>severe beating of someone by someone else.

Now you are sounding like Pakistan..

>There is no one truth, there is no secret, we're all just delusional
>psycopaths whistling in the dark.

Some of us aren't whistling, we are banging drums and
screeching out a tune on the old nose flute.
And it isn't dark. But the beer is cold.

>
>Xists are just the result of a bad batch of acid eaten before a sci-fi
>movie marathon.

And this is bad why.....?

>In conclusion, lick me. right here ------> X
>(Were you one of the lucky 25)

Stop that, the poodle's upset now...

>Wonder if that'll start a fight.

Not really.

Try alt.fan.ronald-reagan.

Attack of the 50 foot tall polyp....

Pope Charles
SubGenius Pope of Houston
Slack!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: kreaper@ufl.edu (Archbishop Shaggy)

Well, for starters, I'm diagnosed clinically depressed, with likely
ADD (as yet untested), and possible low level schizophrenia. At least
thats what my head shrinks tell me. Maybe I'm not terminally crazy,
in fact I'm definitely not terminal, but don't go preaching to me the
horrors of psychosis, because I live with them. And if you ask me,
it's just one more test that life gives you, whether you rise above or
fall below. Breaking off into sillyness and half serious ranting is
one way I use to attempt to keep from cracking, so I will continue to
rant on a whim about anything that crosses my mind. Thats the beauty
of the internet. So I say to you, "Bite ME". Anyone who gets
offended and angered by things they read on the internet should be
shot. Everyone gets a voice hear, whether you hate what they have to
say or love it. So, if you can't deal with opposing viewpoints or
irresponsible behavior, go tune into the Disney channel because that
is sanitized for your protection.

In closing, "Kiss My Ass".


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