Subject: Dear Subgenius Farkelberry....

From: "George Sulea" <geovoice@earthlink.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Dec 11, 2002

I am terrified of the path that the pinks are dragging the rest of us down. I don't trust the gubmint, and I think that the "leader of our country" is a bad man,

What do I do to alleviate the stress and terror?

Sincerely,
Rev.GeofuckallwhythehelldontImovetofijiright"Bob"damnnow!!!
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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

a) Quit giving your "honest" opinion in a public forum, where it may be used to prosecute you.
b) Never, Ever, crack another joke:

http://www.cnn.com/2002/ALLPOLITICS/12/06/burning.bush.ap/index.html

SIOUX FALLS, South Dakota (AP) -- A man who made a remark about a "burning Bush" during the president's March 2001 trip to Sioux Falls was sentenced Friday to 37 months in prison...

--
"The guarding of freedom that God grants is the
noble charge of the Department of Justice."
--Attorney General John Ashcroft
***********
"I'm looking for where it is cheapest to send
them (AIDS patients) to die... Their pain and
suffering is a result of their own misconduct."
--Missouri Governor John Ashcroft
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From: "ICEKNIFE" <icNOekSPAMnife@lmi.net>

Now THERE'S a The DAMN TRUTH! story in the making... interviews with the man himself, his lawyer, the DA, the bartender who called it in. Lotta good questions, like has there been any word from DC on this?

Nume Onay, if we drag TDT outta mothballs, you're the senior editor.
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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

George Sulea <geovoice@earthlink.net> wrote:

> What do I do to alleviate the stress and terror?

Turn off the TV?

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders:
call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB
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From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

First of all, stop watching or reading the news. Just stop. It IS as bad as you imagine. There is no need to find out the details, they will only stress you out.

Then, stop talking about it. Talking about it could be very dangerous and it won't do any good anyway, so just don't.

Now, this is the tricky part, just relax and keep repeating to yourself "If it gets too bad, the UK will save us," over and over and over until you are convinced.

Voila!
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From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

George Sulea <geovoice@earthlink.net> wrote:

> What do I do to alleviate the stress and terror?

What, you're not used to it by now? I haven't trusted the government since I was old enough to go, "They're cutting taxes and increasing MILITARY spending?!?" And no good man wants to be leader of ANY country, by default. The closest we've had in 30 years was an idealistic peanut farmer who could win a Nobel Prize but couldn't out-negotiate the CIA for Iranian hostages. Fact it, Geo, we're dealing with hairless monkeys whose consciousness hasn't improved much since they first learned they could eat what they kill. The best you can hope for right now is that "Bob" brings the Pleasure Saucers NOW. Otherwise, try to mind-fuck the hairless monkeys so they're too confused to kill.

Her Ladyship Lilith
--
--=8=-- \m/ --=8=-- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ --=8=-- \m/ --=8=--
"Yes that's what I said. Unassailable Rectitude."
-- Nenslo
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From: glassgnost <dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>

George Sulea wrote:

> What do I do to alleviate the stress and terror?

SHUT THE FUCK UP.

--
Mystical Reverend Doktor glassgnost, Minister of Unnatural Selection
-- dlindner (at) socal (dot) rr (dot) com --
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!
http://www.subgenius.com ...or kill me!

I used to be such a sweet sweet thing, 'til they got a hold of me,
I opened doors for little old ladies, I helped the blind to see,
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers, they can't be seen,
With me, and I'm feelin' real shot down,
And I'm, uh, feelin' mean,
No more, Mr. Nice Guy,
No more, Mr. Clean,
No more, Mr. Nice Guy,
They say "He's sick, he's obscene".

My dog bit me on the leg today, my cat clawed my eyes,
Ma's been thrown out of the social circle, and Dad has to hide,
I went to church, incognito, when everybody rose,
The reverend Smithy, he recognized me,
And punched me in the nose, he said,
(chorus)
He said "You're sick, you're obscene".
-- Alice Cooper, "No More Mr. Nice Guy"
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From: murgatroyd <yermama@blowsme.com>

create your own pleasant little reality and ignore the rest of the world.It's really NOT important anyway.At least until they kick down your door and drag you away for "re-education".

Have a nice day!
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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

And hey, even when they do, it's all in your attitude! A death camp can be a GLOOMY thing or a HAPPY thing, it's up to YOU.

Watch a lot of Robin Williams movies and take notes.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"Murphys law was not discovered by Murphy but by a man with the same name."
Tilmann Kuhn
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From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

I suggets that you gather up about 5,000 people, stand in fornt of the White House, and "jack-off" for Peace!

Leave huge puddles of seman on the White House Lawn!

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man
"You remind Me a Song I can't name, in time I don't remember, in a place I
don't think I've ever been to."
Grampa Simpson
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From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

George Sulea wrote:

> What do I do to alleviate the stress and terror?

Stop thinking about all that stuff.

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Original file name: Dear Subgenius Farke.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:40