From: "Bud" <budec@qwest.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 29, 2002
um. Fuck. Sleep.
Sleep sucks.
What kind of ill thoughout idea is this? Can I trade my body for a robot type eco-skel thing.. you know, something like the think that Steven Hawkings guy has... and with the onboard voice sync, also have a 505 sync and maybe some 1200 turn tables for some mad scatching.
Slurp straw with a 10 gallon bag of slurp juice per-made attached to the back wings.
and a non-sleep device thingy. that has a loud buzzer everytime you go to sleep.
no sleep == Insanity.
I bet REALLY INSANE people are REALLY GOOD FUCKS. I have a fetish of sorts for crazy chicks... better stated psycho women that are just way out there intense-o nuts fucked up in the head type of way.
Yea.
Regards,
Bud
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From: dyskolos <dyskolos@menander.org>
> I bet REALLY INSANE people are REALLY GOOD FUCKS.
I have a fetish of sorts
> for crazy chicks... better stated psycho women
that are just way out there
> intense-o nuts fucked up in the head type of way.
Believe me when I tell you that safety lies in being
certain that you are the craziest person in the room.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: rlan538885@aol.comnobozos (RLan538885)
Hey, Bud, watch your language.
"100,000 lemmings can't be wrong"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
> Believe me when I tell you that safety lies in
being certain that you
> are the craziest person in the room.
Especially if you're in prison, where it can help get you laid.
That's what I've been told by people who should know, anyhow.
Her Ladyship Lilith
--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: sanfordandson40@hotmail.com (Kat Suit Model)
> Believe me when I tell you that safety lies in
being certain that you
> are the craziest person in the room.
Truer words have never been spoken, except that the
definition of 'room' is somewhat subjective here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
But thanks to this Church, I no longer EVER get to feel that way.
--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath
of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin,
TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The
Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Bud <budec@qwest.net> wrote:
> I bet REALLY INSANE people are REALLY GOOD FUCKS.
I have a fetish of sorts
> for crazy chicks... better stated psycho women
that are just way out there
> intense-o nuts fucked up in the head type of way.
I used to say the cutesy slogan, "Fuck Crazy Women!"
I thought it was cute because it could be taken two ways.
I no longer think it is cute. It can actually be taken 3 ways, I found, and that third way is a bummer.
If I were you, I'd strive to keep the fucking of crazy women strictly in the realm of fantasy. As long as it's just a fantasy, the fucking will remain exactly the way you want it. Experiencing the reality might wreck the fantasy, and in any event it's not worth the 15 phone calls per hour from the crazy woman.
I'm not speaking from personal experience, just from personal observation.
Well actually I did once get the 15 phone calls per hour from a crazy woman, but it wasn't because I'd fucked her. Might well have been just the opposite. And that's even WORSE. You get all the harrassment of the crazy person, without ever even getting to fuck them. Maybe I SHOULD have fucked that particular crazy woman.
No... no.
Might be CONTAGIOUS.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Bud" <budec@qwest.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
I knew this chick that has extreme manic depressive, when she was depressive, she was "more or less" normal... you know for a crazy chick. But when she hit those manic highs while riding on a couple hits of LSD, let me tell you what, she won't let go. She wasn't into the whole 15 phone calls an hour thing, that is more of an "obsesive psycho", but this one time she called me from her work (some desk job for the local goverment) and wanted to have a phone "fantasy"... That was pretty intresting, till off course 3/4 the way though I remember that little thing about "monitor this phone system for quality and training purposes"...
She was let go, but they didn't laugh to loud when she asked for a copy of the recording... she was, of course serious and not joking.
I think it turned her on more when I told her this was probably being recorded and people where listening to it.
Um. to much information.
Yea, those "Obsessive 15 phone calls an hour" chicks are just weird, I was talking more about the intense-o nut bag high octane "voted mostly likely to be a serial killer in year book" psycho, nail scraping, flesh bitting, "fuck me now, I know it is in public view", moaning, sweating with "killers eyes" psycho bitches. You know the type. They are ussually really skinny and been up for extend periods of time without their medication.
That is Killers eyes, not killer eyes (eyes of a killer,
not eyes that kill).
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From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)
My first time was with a crazy lady.
I got talking to her and when she said she had been recently released from the psycho ward at first I thought she was just kidding.
She was dressed all in white, every scrap of clothing was white, and she had attempted to do some kind of blonde dye job on her hair though it had come out kind of odd.
It was a while into the whole thing that I realized she really was fairly nuts. Just the broken, disassociated way she talked and everything. I'm kinda the same way as you though, the idea that she really was off a bit just made it better. Fear is the best aphrodisiac. God only knew what she would do. The sex was a little like a math tutoring session somehow.
Since then women in all white have been an ongoing theme from the Weirdness Gods for me. Every couple of years I run into a crazy woman dressed all in white. (None of them since then have had any sexual appeal to me.)
In fact I ran into one Saturday. She was this old lady; it was hot out but she was dressed really heavily, and every scrap of clothing white.
I had a lot on my mind and was avoiding people. Come to think of it I usually have a lot on my mind and am avoiding people. This lady made eye contact from across the street and made a beeline for me. She stops in front of me and in an urgent voice asks "Are we walking talking?" I smiled reasurringly and nodded; this seemed to satisfy her and she walked on.
The creepiest one was at a time I was really practicing ritual magick heavily. I was on the way to meet some friends, I had spent the morning practicing and was completely wired, rushes of energy flowing all through my body.
I was at the bus stop. I noticed that there was this lady standing like a half a block away, who seemed to be staring at me. She was a large black woman, dressed from head to toe in white. The overall impression was sort of a voodoo maman.
I first glanced her out of my peripheral vision, then I looked at her more directly, trying to figure out if she was in fact staring at me. She was indeed ... when I did look at her, she began gesturing at me, a "come here" gesture (you know what I mean, crooking her index finger towards herself).
She looked at me and did that twice, "come here! come here!". I kind of stared at her. WTF? She had this urgent, intense look on her face, she did it again. "Come here! Come here!". I grinned and shook my head no. She gestured again. It was as if she were trying to compell me by force of will or something.
The bus came and I left here there, never saw her again, although I was right by where I live.
Women in white.
My life tends to be kind of strange in a lot of ways.
--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com
Without God, people might get more specific.
- Andrei Codrescu
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From: elfrijolesestupidos@yahoo.com (Electric Walrus)
I always seem to end up dating crazy women, not sure
if I more attract them or look for them, or both. The
only problem is when religion comes up, and the truly
crazy ones seem to be Catholic or something and looking
for converts. Don't have a fucking clue how I meet
these people, you'd think I'd scare them off pretty
quick, but no. Well, what I'm saying is, I've dated
a few crazy women, and all I really have to show for
it is a slight limp and the security of knowing that
the one I didn't fuck *was* contagious.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Bud <budec@qwest.net> wrote:
> Yea, those "Obsessive 15 phone calls an hour"
chicks are just weird, I was
> talking more about the intense-o nut bag high octane
"voted mostly likely to
> be a serial killer in year book" psycho, nail
scraping, flesh bitting, "fuck
> me now, I know it is in public view", moaning,
sweating with "killers eyes"
> psycho bitches. You know the type.
You know my mom??
Nah just kidding... actually I have not been demanded to "fuck me now" by any such gals, for some reason. Although I think I saw some in action at Burning Man. But they were always with tall handsome guys wearing women's stockings and panties. The GUYS wearing the stockings and panties. I think that was how you showed how macho you were, that year, if you were a San Francisco dot commie.
> They are ussually really skinny
Oh, well then forget it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Her Ladyship
Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
> > Maybe I SHOULD have fucked that particular crazy woman.
> I REALLY HOPE it isn't the crazy woman you're talking
about. Ghods, I
> feel ill just thinking about it.
AHAHAHA!!! *gag choke* I just figured out who you're thinking of. Nope, not her. SHE tried to fuck JANOR though, and he TURNED IT DOWN.
I heard some gossip, though, by way of Katlady's Good Sex for Mutants Dating Service, that was far worse than anything you're thinking. YES, EVEN YOU!!
The crazy woman that I DIDN'T fuck dates from long before
I even knew what a newsgroup was, very early 90s...
you don't know her on any level. Not from Dallas. Never
was online. Real young and pretty. POISON THROUGH AND
THROUGH. A graveyard of dicks, but not mine, no sirree
Bob. No sirmaam.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
You mean, the one with big hair and a sorta weird nose?
I *did* correspond with her for a while, before she
proved how crazy she was. But... didn't SHE try to
fuck Janor too?
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Fernandinande Le Mur <lemurama@mindXspring.com>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> expounded:
<I used to say the cutesy slogan, "Fuck Crazy Women!"
I once spent a weekend intercoursing with a cute chick who had just gotten released from Mendota State Hospital - she *was* a good fuck, but later I felt kinda bad about it, while smiling.
The end.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com> wrote:
> Wait, we're not talking about the crazy woman with
the big tits, right?
> We're talking about the one with the big ass and
only a few teeth left,
> right? Just checking. There's been so MANY crazy
women....
Right. OLD, missing teeth, giant butt. I'm not sure which one you're talking about with big tits, that "covers a lot of ground," so to speak.
> > I heard some gossip, though, by way of Katlady's
Good Sex for Mutants
> > Dating Service, that was far worse than anything
you're thinking. YES,
> > EVEN YOU!!
> Maybe so, but if we ARE talking about the same
crazy woman, I READ HER
> PORN. Eurgh. That was bad enough.
Me too. No, this involved a GS4M date, one of the few ever made, between her and an SF "Show fan" who was a J'lahn type -- into POO-related acts. With such high self esteem that he wanted old toothless gals to "glass table" him.
The old gal in question was shocked, and declined -- that's the GOOD news.
> You mean, the one with big hair and a sorta weird
nose? I *did*
> correspond with her for a while, before she proved
how crazy she was.
> But... didn't SHE try to fuck Janor too?
?? Not sure which weird-nose you mean. The skull-like chopped-off-like-nose one, or the Proboscis Monkey one? And where on this woman's body did the big hair grow? Remember, with Connietites, you have to be very speific about such things. For instance, okay, she had big tits -- but where WERE said tits? Chest, back, shoulders, where?
Huh. Listen to you and me talking about "crazy" people.
WEIRD LOOKING crazy people.
Boy, the wind sure is making these glass walls rattle!
Here, I can fix that, hand me that GLASS BRICK.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>
Rev. Ivan Stang
<stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> Me too. No, this involved a GS4M date, one of the
few ever made,
> between her and an SF "Show fan" who
was a J'lahn type -- into
> POO-related acts. With such high self esteem that
he wanted old
> toothless gals to "glass table" him.
> The old gal in question was shocked, and declined
-- that's the GOOD
> news.
OK, it's going to take me a few days to get that mental image out of my head. Where's my Dremel kit? This is going to require some *tools*.
> Remember, with Connietites,
> you have to be very speific about such things.
For instance, okay, she
> had big tits -- but where WERE said tits? Chest,
back, shoulders,
> where?
Well, it's kinda like "Bob" said about a different form of anatomy alltogether: "The ones you DON'T see are always bigger."
> Huh. Listen to you and me talking about "crazy" people.
> WEIRD LOOKING crazy people.
Hey, I'm only weird-looking when I wanna be, and you aren't that weird looking anyhow. At least, IN COMPARISON. Similarly, sure, we're crazy, but... not THAT kind of crazy. Face it, the bench marks for weird-looking AND crazy have become a little tougher over the past 20-odd years; why, we're practically, dare I say it, NORMAL compared to some of the folks we've both run into, together and separately. Why, if our double helices hadn't been twisted into little tiny Dobbsheads, nobody would guess our REAL secret.
> Boy, the wind sure is making these glass walls
rattle! Here, I can fix
> that, hand me that GLASS BRICK.
But that'd break your glass hand, Daddy! Besides, I can make a window with a hot enough flame. Hand me a match, I had burritos last.
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