Subject: How I fought for freedom!

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Mar 29, 2003 4:06 AM

I was riding the bus downtown the other day when this creepy little
guy got on and I immediately had the feeling he meant Trouble. I felt
that he was going to do something bad. So I immediately went over to
him and said, "Listen, I know you are up to something and I think you
are going to hurt somebody so I want you to take out any weapons you
may have and put them on the seat beside you." He said he didn't have
any weapons. I said "I don't believe you and even if you don't have
any now you probably know where to get some so I am telling you that
you better come across or I will pound you." Some nosy old bats
started to object to this and I said "You may want to wait until this
guy actually hurts or kills someone but I don't. Now either he comes
clean or I start whaling on him." One of the old pantywaists said if
she searched him and didn't find anything would I just leave him
alone? and I said okay. He didn't want anybody searching him but I
said "It's either that or this," and I put my fist in his face so he
gave in. So the old bat searches two of his coat pockets and finds
nothing and I say "OKAY that's enough, I have wasted enough time on
this POTENTIAL KILLER" and I started laying into him. Some people
spoke up and said I shouldn't be beating on this little guy and I said
"You have every right to say I shouldn't be beating on people when I'm
NOT beating on them but once I start you better either SUPPORT ME or
SHUT UP." And I kept on pummeling the little AGGRESSOR until he fell
on the floor unconscious. Then I went through his pockets and found a
nail file and some manicure scissors and a pocket knife with TWO
blades and I showed them to everybody and said "We are all LUCKY TO BE
ALIVE, and you have done a GOOD THING today in preventing this
CRIMINAL from committing BLOODY MURDERS." I will sleep well tonight.

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Subject: Re: How I fought for freedom!
From: rev dode <dode(pee)@tystie.com>

Subtle like a 6000lb bunker buster, I like this although I believe Terry
Jones may have got here first.

When do we reckon all American ISPs will start yanking accounts based on
anti-war comments?

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Subject: Re: How I fought for freedom!
From: zosodada@aol.com (Zosodada)

Good for you, that little shitcunt was a big pain in the ass. I know that guy.
I went over to his house once and the first thing he did was had me a deluxe
edition of "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" that he'd published himsef
with the child support payment he never made to his several dozen ex-wives. He
showed me his knife collection and claimed to have stabbed seven million people
with that pocket knife, "that's one million more than Hitler!" he bragged. I
suspect he exaggereted the actual number of stabbing victims, but there was
clearly evidence of dried blood on the nailfile. He had portraits of himself
all over his apartment, even in the bathroom where I went to take a shit. There
was a big portrait of him right in front of the toilet watching me trying to
pinch one off. Upon closer inspection I discovered that the eyes of th portrait
concealed little camera lenses, taking voyeur photos of me on the crapper. It
gave me the creeps. He invited me to watch the deluxe DVD of the Godfather
epic, but he wouldn't shut up during the whole movie -- he kept blabbering a
bunch of anti-capitalist rhetoric. For an anti-capitalist his house was quite
plushly appointed. The thing that freaked me out the most were the two chicks
he had tied up in a hidden room. He told me they weren't allowed to leave, but
he explained that they were submissive little sluts and enjoyed being held
captive. They were gagged as well as bound, so I dodn't get to hear their
opinion about that. I tried to get his life story, but his tall tales were so
self glorifying it made the claims of Bob Dean and ICEKNIFE seem humble. Then
he kicked me out of his house and told me to never come back. It's about time
someone kicked that creepy fucks ass -- way to go Nenslo!

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Subject: Re: How I fought for freedom!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

MAN! I should have my computer say this dialog-in-monologs in two
different robot voices, and put it on the Internet radio! It'd be
artful, yet thought-provoking like Point-Counterpoint or one of those.
Yet corny, yet trippy, yet cool. I probably won't though. But I did
print it out.

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Subject: Re: How I fought for freedom!
From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

> Zosodada wrote:
>
> > nenslo spun the following yarn, "I was riding the bus downtown the other day
> > when this creepy little guy got on and I immediately had the feeling he meant Trouble.

Nenslo IS the creepy guy who gets on the bus. Weapons proper are
immaterial; its the Nensletic AURA what gets 'em.

--

HellPope Huey® hellpopehuey@subgenius©.com
If I can survive the Church of Christ,
I should be able to survive an attack
by a giant turtle like Gamera

"My goal has always been to entertain part of the audience
and annoy equally another part of the audience...
when George Bush said in a speech that
'Americans should be more like the Waltons than the Simpsons,'
it was great. I love it when they take the bait."
- Matt Groening

"This protest has the distinct bouquet of IDIOTS!"
- Louis Black

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Subject: Re: How I fought for freedom!
From: "Hal Itosis" <weirdlinks@sbcglobal.net>

OUR HERO. NOW GO TAKE A BUS RIDE IN THE GHETTO AND TELL US WHAT YOU COME UP
WITH.

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Original file name: How I fought for freedom! - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45