Subject: Only Stumbling Block to War

From: idrmrsr <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 13, 2003 8:15 PM
Message-ID: <3E4C434F.1FDFB337@subgenius.com>

The only thing I can see that might stop them now is that CNN's studios
aren't ready just yet for HDTV coverage of the war. People will have to
watch this war in exactly the same resolution as the last war, a pitiful
480 horizontal lines (less, actually) at best. Even a TV set from 1991
will receive pretty much the same picture.

Not only that, but Christianne Amanpour is really an old lady now. I
see her once in a blue moon on CNN and I think, geez, I wanked to that
old bag, she's MY age. With a mustache, yet. And Wolf Blitzer is all
white haired now mostly, having lost the nice frosted grey that looked
so distinguished when Pa Bush was calling the shots.

What good is a war if it can't be NEW and IMPROVED? With at least a
HINT OF LEMON FRESHNESS!

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Subject: Re: Only Stumbling Block to War
From: "Pretzelcoatl" <tlaloc@texcoco.oco>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Feb 13, 2003 8:54 PM
Message-ID: <b2hifc1s7b@enews1.newsguy.com>

"idrmrsr" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:3E4C434F.1FDFB337@subgenius.com...
> The only thing I can see that might stop them now is that CNN's studios
> aren't ready just yet for HDTV coverage of the war. People will have to
> watch this war in exactly the same resolution as the last war, a pitiful
> 480 horizontal lines (less, actually) at best. Even a TV set from 1991
> will receive pretty much the same picture.

But if you'll recall Iraq Episode I, it was decidedly lo-res, even for the
time.
We didn't see poop, 'cept for some blurry videogame excerpt played over
and over, which allegedly proved how smart the dumb smart weapons were.
Coulda made that footage myself by dropping a 1950s TV cam down a chimney.
VietNam cured the Pentagon of inconveniences like true journalism.

> Not only that, but Christianne Amanpour is really an old lady now. I
> see her once in a blue moon on CNN and I think, geez, I wanked to that
> old bag, she's MY age.

We must send Connie Chung to Bagdad at once. Her hair is impervious
to all manner of onslaught, and is thought by some to be a sort of
nefarious mind control weapon in and of itself. For maximum hold.

> With a mustache, yet. And Wolf Blitzer is all
> white haired now mostly, having lost the nice frosted grey that looked
> so distinguished when Pa Bush was calling the shots.
>
> What good is a war if it can't be NEW and IMPROVED? With at least a
> HINT OF LEMON FRESHNESS!

Lemon-faced Tommy Franks is new on the scene. I'm sure this hostile
takeover will have a certain Wessonality, or something similarly oily.
I would prefer not to shake and bake.

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Original file name: Only Stumbling Block to War - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45