Subject: Re: Baghdad zoo

From: John Starrett <jstarret@carbon.cudenver.edu>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 17, 2003 12:27 PM
Message-ID: <3E9ED5F2.F9EFA8CD@carbon.cudenver.edu>

Chaz wrote:
>
> Fuck... them bastards... goddamn, I don't mind if the humans kill
> themselves, but goddamn... feed the fucking poor inmates at the zoo.
> There's a story on Reuters about how the animals in the Baghdad zoo haven't
> eaten in three weeks... which is incomprehensable to me... I mean, why
> should the lions go hungry when there's thousands of dead republican Guard
> bodies all over the place?... and all those amputated limbs they show in
> the raw videos on Reuters... I mean... what are they doing with those
> limbs?... they're not diseased and they're already fairly well shredded for
> consumption, so why not feed the animals at the zoo with them?

I'm with you there.

This brings up an interesting question: Are there slack and
pink animals, too? My BOSG is on loan to someone so I can't
look it up.

I would guess a

Sloth has slack
Chihuahua has no slack
Seagull has slack
Crow has no slack

--
John Starrett

"We have nothing to fear but the scary stuff"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Baghdad zoo
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 17, 2003 12:37 PM
Message-ID: <170420031237171071%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <w7zna.27373$ey1.2481730@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net>,
Chaz <swampradio@excite.com> wrote:

> Fuck... them bastards... goddamn, I don't mind if the humans kill
> themselves, but goddamn... feed the fucking poor inmates at the zoo.
> There's a story on Reuters about how the animals in the Baghdad zoo haven't
> eaten in three weeks... which is incomprehensable to me... I mean, why
> should the lions go hungry when there's thousands of dead republican Guard
> bodies all over the place?... and all those amputated limbs they show in
> the raw videos on Reuters... I mean... what are they doing with those
> limbs?... they're not diseased and they're already fairly well shredded for
> consumption, so why not feed the animals at the zoo with them?
>

I read considerably more detail on this story. Last I heard, they tried
feeding some of the animals MREs, but that didn't cut it... so they did
indeed start feeding the large predator animals with some of the more
plentiful herbivores. HERBIVORES, not Fedayeen body parts. I've heard
those are starting to show up in some of the fanciest Belgian
restaurant menus alongside the chimpanzee steaks.

Funny that nobody has commented on the two bricked-in dungeons full of
starving human prisoners who had been deliberately buried alive when
the guards fled. When the invading troops finally realized the
prisoners REALLY WERE DOWN THERE, and the frantic townsfolks WEREN'T
crazy, and bulldozed the dungeons open, those humans were not in very
good shape either.

Believe it or not I do not get more upset about animals starving than I
do humans. Even as a SubGenius I value the life of a human over that of
any animal, no shit. CALL ME CRAZY. It's not so much that I care for
humans, although I am half human myself; it's just that I care EVEN
LESS about critters. CUTE AS THEY MAY BE. Possibly this comes of all
the rest of my family being ranchers who actually deal with several
kinds of large animals on a daily basis. And the fact that there really
are almost no humans that I actually HATE hate. There are plenty I'd
like to get VENGEANCE on, like those fucks at the towing place in
Linndale, but only if it's convenient.

What's really perverse is the body-count contests between the anti-war
and pro-war hysterics."No war is worth one boy's arms being blown off
accidentally!" "Oh no? Well I say, a hundred boys' arms NOT being
slowly twisted off deliberately are WELL worth one boy's arms being
blown off accidentally!" Etc.

PROPAGANDA. The best lies are always by omission. Both sides have been
so guilty of it that I have been driven straight UPWARDS politically.
Like the guy in the Book of the SubGenius drawing, sitting between the
Right and Left Wing cartoon guys, picking their pockets while they
vainly preach at the confused idiot in the middle -- only no longer
down on the ground picking their pockets, but sitting way up over their
heads in a deer blind, naked, PLAYING A FUCKING FLUTE.

And with that I shall get back to my GREAT BIG FLUTE.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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Original file name: Re- Baghdad zoo - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45