Subject: Re: debka's science-fictiony take on things

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Apr 7, 2003 11:17 AM
Message-ID: <070420031117283900%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3E90C1C9.7A8A@succeeds.com>, nu-monet v5.0
<nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:

> http://www.debka.com
>
> Day 17 of Iraq War: Battle for Saddam's Underground
> Regime Centers

> Regarding the "non-conventionalo/oo threat Iraqi
> information minister Muhammad al-Saeef issued Friday,
> April 14, DEBKAfile's military correspondents interpret
> it as referring to a plan for Iraqi troops to leap out
> of these underground labyrinths and overwhelm the
> American units.

I must admit this SOUNDS neato-as all get-out.

The Underground Tunnels of Baghdad give conspiracy buffs, kookwatchers,
war junkies, and every 12 year old boy the go-ahead to imagine with
total impunity secret battles in Atlantis-like underground cities, with
ray guns, robots and possibly even genetically engineered "dinosaurs."

> The other two palace-cities have been tunneled under
> the streets of Baghdad ^ one under the upscale Karah
> neighborhood with Saddam's own private airstrip
> attached; the second running under the Dora district
> south of the Tigris and Baghdad University. Some
> intelligence sources are sure that the two are also
> linked by a highway running under the river. The US
> 3rd Infantry and 101st Airborne Divisions tanks
> thundering through the streets of Baghdad Saturday
> morning were on their way to the Karah Palace. So too
> were the Special Republic Guards forces, ordered to
> defend Karah with their lives.

This is cool as hell, like an Indiana Jones movie. Crazed
scimitar-weilding, turbaned fiends attacking the Imperial Sardaukar
Troops... deliberately igniting a Frop Blow under the Palace using the
Oil of Life and enraging The Shitters.

THEN the Magic Carpets. And finally the DJINN is released from its age
old slumber.

I don't know how Nenslo can COOK at a time like this!

>
> DEBKAfile's military sources report that a fifth buried
> palace - this one situated outside Baghdad, southeast
> of Saddam's home town of Tikrit - was also being fought
> over Saturday.

That is where The Great Crystal is kept... the President who controls
the Crystal controls the Universe.

>
> This regime center was placed under siege Thursday
> night, April 3, when elements of the 101st Airborne
> Division seized control of the northbound Tikrit-Mosul
> highway while troops of the 82nd Airborne Division came
> up from the west and cut the Baghdad-Tikrit highway.
> Saturday morning, the two American forces moved in to
> tighten the noose around Saddam's underground center
> near Tikrit.

The last radio show we did, I brought up the subject of The Tunnels of
Baghdad but none of my cohorts had heard of them. I first started
hearing about those at the start of the fighting, maybe trickle-out
from Debka. I was very disappointed that subsequent to the fighting at
the airport I heard only the most fleeting references to any "tunnels"
on the NORMAL news (by normal I mean the various pro-and anti-American
newspapers and websites from the various pro-and anti-American
countries, or the TV).

I am really going to be PISSED if I don't get to see at least SOME
secret-tunnels action scenes INCLUDING HANDSOME GUYS FLYING THROUGH THE
AIR AT THE CAMERA AHEAD OF FLAMING FIREBALLS, just to neatly tie up the
experience. If I don't get to see vast underground chambers containing
whole future-cities in flames, and an overhead shot of all central
Baghdad caving in and falling into the gigantic crater left by the
collapsing underground Hives of the Mole Shieks, well, I'll understand
-- some things were just too intense for the Norms to handle, so they
were kept off the mass media.

>
> It looks as though Tommy Franks, amid the hype and
> misdirection, is forging ahead with his preconceived
> war plan, step by step.

MUAD DIB! MUAD DIB!

No Wait. Damn, all confused again.

The other night the local TV news was asking Joe and Jane Citizen in
Cleveland if they thought Saddam was alive or dead. The very first
person they quoted was an evidently older gal who said, "Oh, he ain't
dead. I think that Saddam Husseim is too EVIL to be dead."

Old JHVH-1 has a full belly tonight, and "Bob" will have MANY MANY
cannisters of condensed human anguish to trade to the Elder Gods come
That Great Day of Sales. "NO BLOOD FOR OIL" they say, but I haven't
heard too many SubGeniuses chanting "NO SOULS FOR X-DAY."

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: debka's science-fictiony take on things
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Apr 8, 2003 3:21 AM
Message-ID: <3E927866.83CE134A@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>
> This is cool as hell, like an Indiana Jones movie. Crazed
> scimitar-weilding, turbaned fiends attacking the Imperial Sardaukar
> Troops... deliberately igniting a Frop Blow under the Palace using the
> Oil of Life and enraging The Shitters.
>
> THEN the Magic Carpets. And finally the DJINN is released from its age
> old slumber.
>
> I don't know how Nenslo can COOK at a time like this!
>

As it is written - to the Slackmaster, work is play and play is work.
Excitement is boring and boredom is exciting. I bought half a flat of
strawberries and made a batch of strawberry jam today, and have enough
strawberries left to make another batch. But if it's dry out tomorrow
I will build two gates for my new fence. No picture of an explosion
is going to get those gates built.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: debka's science-fictiony take on things
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Apr 8, 2003 9:45 AM
Message-ID: <080420030945206342%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3E927866.83CE134A@yahooX.com>, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> >
> >
> > This is cool as hell, like an Indiana Jones movie. Crazed
> > scimitar-weilding, turbaned fiends attacking the Imperial Sardaukar
> > Troops... deliberately igniting a Frop Blow under the Palace using the
> > Oil of Life and enraging The Shitters.
> >
> > THEN the Magic Carpets. And finally the DJINN is released from its age
> > old slumber.
> >
> > I don't know how Nenslo can COOK at a time like this!
> >
>
> As it is written - to the Slackmaster, work is play and play is work.
> Excitement is boring and boredom is exciting. I bought half a flat of
> strawberries and made a batch of strawberry jam today, and have enough
> strawberries left to make another batch. But if it's dry out tomorrow
> I will build two gates for my new fence. No picture of an explosion
> is going to get those gates built.

And until those gates are up, the infidels can sweep in at the time and
place of their choosing.

"They are commiting suicide, throwing themselves upon the gates of
Nenslo."

These are plays on cliches of the week that you might not "get." You're
not missing anything, I suppose. To me, though, it's like 5 cool bad
monster movies all being enacted at once by trained circus chimpanzees.
A once-in-a-lifetime show.

The next war might not be televised, or, if it is, there might not be
many TVs left to watch it on, or, if there are lots of TVs, nobody to
watch the war on them.

"The next war will be fought with rocks and sticks, but the one after
that will be fought with stingers and mandibles." -- J.B. Baghdad
"Bob" el-Dabh

And the one after that with psuedopods and flagellia. -- Cleveland Ivan

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Original file name: Re- debka's science-fictiony ta - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45