> According to some newpapers, the
> Big Black Iraq Attack begins on
> March 13.
>
> That's 13-03.
>
> Or maybe I should say "13-03".
>
> Listen up. And always watch the skies.
Not to mention the SEWERS! While you're admiring those lovely saucers and spectacular missile interceptions, DON'T FORGET THE SUPERSONIC NAZI HELL CREATURES FROM BENEATH THE HOLLOW EARTH!
Thor's Day WOULD make sense. March 17 has been bandied about so much that this Thursday would be a little tiny bit more of a "sucker punch," if such terms are applicable, which they AREN'T, probably.
It's ESO live radio that night. The gigantic responsibility of "Doing the Right Thing" on .5-watt college radio, for all five impressionable listeners, will fall heavily upon our shoulders. Well, I promise that if the war starts that day, whatever we do that night will be irresponsible and callous by both pro-war and anti-war standards.
Lonesome Cowboy Dave and Princess Wei are absolutely and totally against the war in full Old School Peacenik mode, and Dave makes that plain as day -- aside from the fact that the language he speaks is Surrealian. I personally think Saddam Hussein is a Bad Guy and would love to see his ass kicked, and in some ways I'm like the old white man in The Onion point-counterpoint who asks, "No Blood for Oil? Now Wait a Minute -- Just How Much Oil Are We Talking About?"-- and in the end he decides that $1.21 a gallon would be a damn good deal, really, for the amount of blood in question. And that Good Old Boy part of me can scarcely WAIT for the TV EXCITEMENT of round the clock suspense to begin -- like a football game that goes on for weeks.
And on top of that, I'm acutely aware that every single thing I read on all the websites from all the kooks and cons, pro and con, is PURE GRADE D, BADLY FLUNG APE-SHIT.
But those weapons aren't a joke. Especially when they backfire, go off in your face, crash with you still in them, etc. I have MANY BUDDIES whose KIDS are soldiers all of a sudden! And I have nothing against Hasim Sixpack and his six kids. I can understand why he might be a tad suspicious of this Disneyland East thing. I know exactly how he feels in fact. By god, if I'm gonna live under a military strongman I'd rather it by MY military strongman, not one from some other nutty country. What if this was happening in reverse, and our country was threatened with being taken over by one where ALCOHOL was ILLEGAL. +/-Much as we hate our leaders, we might not want regime change so badly.
I have been hoping it was all good cop / bad cop, and IT STILL MIGHT BE. But, from what little I can glean, and as suspicious as I am of Republicans, Democrats, Hippies, New Agers, Rednecks, and Right Wingers, and SubGeniuses, this still looks like a FUCKING FISHY IDEA, like nothing but huge crime syndicates jockeying for position. Chimps vying for Silverback. No real "cops" anywhere.
But what you suggested yesterday got me thinking along JUICILY paranoid lines -- about the U.S. military acting all Iraq-crazed, but then, at the very last second, SUDDENLY WHIRLING AROUND AND NUKING THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF NORTH KOREA! Saying, "Whew, got 'em in the nick of time before they killed everybody in Tokyo, Beijing and Los Angeles... well, here, China, like we agreed, this mess is ALL YOURS, and now if you don't mind, we're going to point the Death Star back at those pesky oil sellers now, see if we can't get the prices down."
That thought has got my sci-fi and thriller-addled brain just going like mad. Poor peace girl Princess Wei couldn't get me to stop coming up with Future War Game scenarios. I don't really know jack shit about that stuff, which makes it easier for me to come up with outlandish schemes. Those shuttle astronauts were onto the BIG PLAN and were just about to squeal when the Man silenced them, see. But they only knew about PART of it. Nobody has even GUESSED yet how MARS THE RED PLANET works into all this!
I'm back to pretending to be working on advanced dynamic web page progs while actually snooping the Conspiracy news all day, from ALL the conspiracies.
I have both leftist and right wing friends who email me the latest email-spread activism from their particular arenas. The one that really caught my eye yesterday was:
"LET'S GET THE POPE TO SIT IN BAGHDAD AND BE A HUMAN SHIELD!!"
This was further developed into the idea of getting a regular Noah's Ark of world religious leaders to all converge on Baghdad and sit there daring for the evil empire of the U.S. to shoot.
I think that's a GREAT idea, but not because I think it will stop the war.
If they could get "Bob" to go to Iraq and be a human shield, THAT might work. But "Bob" is a crazed super-patriot and almost killed Saddam during the Gulf War himself, with his bare hands. He had managed to tunnel all the way under Saddam's much-vaunted berms (using JUST HIS ENTRENCHING TOOL!) and had only a few more INCHES of sand left to tunnel through before he'd break into Saddam's underground bunker -- but some PUSSY-ASS POLITICIAN issued the order that "Bob" RETREAT and return to base. Absolutely insane. They had Saddam right in their sights, so to speak, and they let him get away.
I'm surprised they were able to turn "Bob" back after that point -- he's his own Fail Safe; once his bloodlust is up, it MUST be slaked. Allah only knows what Dobbs did to relieve his sexual and bloodletting frustration after that.
This won't be so funny if we find out all along that the WHOLE THING was a big triple-cross that will result in the Yists destroying Earth before the Xists destroy it. What a tragedy THAT would be.
Original file name: StangRe- War Begins- 13-03 - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:45
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