What is it With Tweekers?

From: Jeff Spicoli <dude@tubes.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Apr 17, 2003 6:47 PM

So I drive out to Hesperia 'cause this guy's selling a 1.25 dual proc G4

for $500 (no doubt hot). After trashin' my ride on the 5 miles of dirt
road
to get to this joker's house, he invites me in to his hell hole to where
him
and his bro (spare me) are unsoldering transistors from a motherboard
with and iron (yes that kind of iron) and tweezers.

Upon closer inspection I note the similarity to the new Apple.

Sure as fuckin' shit, these jackass were goonin' hard on some crank
and de-enginering the box I came for ! Un Fuckin' Believable!

As I made my hasty retreat for the door, I tripped over some fuckin'
tube from some fuckin' apparatus and pulled down a book shelf with
all sortsa "important" shit on it judging by their reaction, which was
hostile to say the least. Needless to say my sense of self preservation
kicked in and I ran for the car. I was surprised the Calvary wasn't
close
on my tail outta the house, but the ensuing gunshots explained why.

Good thang tweekers are a lousy shot !

Anyway, I made the best of the remainder of the day and hiked down to
Deep Creek and met a coupla gals in the hot springs.

Bob I love bisexual hippy chicks that shave!

Spicoli

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3E9F2ED2.D6E66178@tubes.com>, Jeff Spicoli <dude@tubes.com>
wrote:

> So I drive out to Hesperia 'cause this guy's selling a 1.25 dual proc G4
>
> for $500 (no doubt hot). After trashin' my ride on the 5 miles of dirt
> road
> to get to this joker's house, he invites me in to his hell hole to where
> him
> and his bro (spare me) are unsoldering transistors from a motherboard
> with and iron (yes that kind of iron) and tweezers.
>
> Upon closer inspection I note the similarity to the new Apple.
>
> Sure as fuckin' shit, these jackass were goonin' hard on some crank
> and de-enginering the box I came for ! Un Fuckin' Believable!
>

That shitty bathtub biker speed seems to grossly overstimulate the
natural tool-using instinct in a lot of otherwise lazy poebuckers, but
since they lack the skills to build anything they start out "REPAIRING"
things that weren't very broken. Thus the truck-up-on-blocks racial
stereotype. I once entered the home of my good late friend the
speedfreak to find him and his girlfriend near the end of "repairing" a
very expensive zoom lens that had suffered the slightest little hitch
in its zooming smoothness.

Then they came down. Thenceforth and forever that fancy zoom lens
stayed in those million pieces, carefully (by random, and unlabeled)
tucked into cigar boxes. My friend himself ended up more or less the
same way.

That wasn't the only kind of thing my speedfreak friend did. He also
did lots of good things. He spouted something that all of us say a lot.
In fact we say it so much that his name is at the top of The Book of
the SubGenius under "Bob's" alongside mine and Philo's. Dr. X.

But one of the other things he said was "I can't decifer anything; put
me where you want me; give me rubber blankets."

My last experience with that stuff was very embarrassing. Over a decade
ago. I bought some, just because some guy called me up and said he had
some, but when I got home I opened up the little packet and looked at
the speed, and thought about it, and then I went out in the backyard
and THREW IT AWAY. Ground it into the garden. FIFTY BUCKS WORTH!! The
roses smelled FOUL that summer.

Meth is the bane of the Caucasian Poebucker.

Now your pharmaceutical Benzadrine or Dexadrine, now that's different.

I can sorta see why they put the brakes on that good shit, though, and
restricted it to use by professional politicians, respectable Hollywood
stars and vampires. "FOR OUR OWN GOOD."

Oh, the SHEER EVIL of the do-gooder.

To drown my slight irritation I'll just have to put the gobble on
another handfull of these good legal and unexplainable DOBBS PILS that
I happen to have next to me here, filling this old fashioned claw
footed bathtub.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jeff Spicoli <dude@tubes.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

<snip>

>
> Meth is the bane of the Caucasian Poebucker.

POEBUCKER !? Nice moniker.
Even gave it a run thru google, seems your name was tied to each
of the links. Yaoughta copyright that thing.

>
>
> Now your pharmaceutical Benzadrine or Dexadrine, now that's different.
>
> I can sorta see why they put the brakes on that good shit, though, and
> restricted it to use by professional politicians, respectable Hollywood
> stars and vampires. "FOR OUR OWN GOOD."
>
> Oh, the SHEER EVIL of the do-gooder.
>
> To drown my slight irritation I'll just have to put the gobble on
> another handfull of these good legal and unexplainable DOBBS PILS that
> I happen to have next to me here, filling this old fashioned claw
> footed bathtub.
>

DOBBS PILS [sic] ! ?
Those those things that make ya go sideways?

Break me off summa doz, yo.

Spicoli

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Original file name: What is it With Twee.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:15