N Sync stuck on Earth

From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 5, 2002 9:20 AM

From the Internet Movie Database:

Lance Still Clinging to Space Dream

"'N Sync singer Lance Bass is still hopeful he will go into space this
year - despite the Russian Space Agency announcing they have cancelled
his contract. Spokesman Sergei Gorbunov declared on Tuesday that the
popstar would not be on board a mission to the International Space
Station (ISS) next month and they would be sending up a cargo
container in place of the teen pin-up, after Bass and his sponsors
failed to pay the $20 million 'ticket'. But Bass' spokeswoman Jill
Fritzo says, 'We feel very confident that there will be a resolution
soon. We aren't thinking negatively, and neither is he, I am sure. He
is focused on his training and making this trip happen.' Bass'
sponsors are claiming the overdue bill would be paid by the end of the
week."

[I wonder if the cargo container will have a photo fastened to it with
duct tape.]

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

This grinning fucker was trying to pay 20 MILLION bucks for a TWO WAY
space trip? While our one-way ticket is only $30? He must REALLY love
Earth to want the return trip guarantee that badly. Perhaps being a
bubble gum rock star provides more Slack than we wage slaves want to
believe. I believe I shall quit my day job as a wizened Subgenius
preacher and apply for a new one as a young teen idol.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)

The cargo container will have the same size, mass and IQ as Lance.

Bound, blindfolded, and buttered, at last Leopold knew the semblance of peace.
- R. Leggatt

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From: "Artemia Salina" <y2k@sheayright.com>

All I can say is that if he does make it into space I surely hope there are
no mishaps and that he comes back in good health!

I mean, imagine the ENDLESS TV coverage of the guy's funeral, complete with
retrospectives on his life, and celebrity eulogies. The surviving members of
N'Sync would be thrust into our faces for DECADES, rather than being relegated
to the rather obscure niche market that they now enjoy. That would TRULY be
terrible!

Yes, I hope nothing bad happens to Lance... Or Dirk, or Barry, or Lemont, for
that matter.

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From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@mindspring.com>

"Artemia Salina" <y2k@sheayright.com> wrote:

!
>
>Yes, I hope nothing bad happens to Lance... Or Dirk, or Barry, or Lemont, for
>that matter.

Imagine n'sync doing a weepy commemorative remake of 'Major Tom'.

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

Show me that your footglands are bigger, metaphysically speaking, than my
WHOLE BODY.

Sig by Kookie Jar 5.98d http://go.to/generalfrenetics/

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Original file name: N Sync stuck on Earth.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:41