Senator Wellstone Dead!!!

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Oct 25, 2002 2:33 PM

All you cynical assholes, pay no attention to this, as you are sure that
both political parties are equally bad and there are no good politicians and
protesting does no good, so the best thing to do is smoke a lot of frappy
and hide your head under your wing.

The rest of you assholes, pay attention! Senator Wellstone, the most
liberal Senator in the Senate is DEAD. His plane crashed while he was on
the campaign trail. This makes the fragile Democratic Senate majority even
more fragile and precarious, not that they actually USED their
Constitutional power to do anything but lick Herr Bush's ass crack, but at
this point you have to grab at whatever straws are available. So, not only
are there now 50 Democrats and 49 Republicans and one DEAD GUY, but also
Sen. Wellstone was running in an election that's about ONE FRIGGIN WEEK
away. So the Democrats are going to have to just PICK SOMEBODY to run in
his place now, and everything is going to be all fucked up, the ballots and
whatnot, and all like that. "It will be total chaos," in the immortal words
of Bible Man.

And, IIRC, JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA now gets to choose WHOEVER HE WANTS to
fill the rest of Sen. Wellstone's term. But he probably won't bother since
there's only a week left in it. Though maybe he'll have to, because of some
obscure law or something, who knows.

So anyway, that's some fucked up shit right there, and of course, ample
fodder for Conspiracy theories. I mean, what a friggin coincidence that the
ONE GUY most likely to try to thwart Bush's plans would be blown up two
miles outside an airport in suburban Minnesota. With his wife and one of
his children, too, just to add extra ruthlessness to the plot. It's like,
totally sad, dudes.

--
So, the proper signature delimiter is the way mine is ("-- ") and not the
way yours is ("--").
-- Some Linux Freak

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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Message-ID: <3DB99586.2075@succeeds.com>

Rev. Magdalen wrote:
>
> ...So the Democrats are going to have to just PICK
> SOMEBODY to run in his place now...

This may not be the case. Despite what happened in
New Jersey a couple of weeks ago (the NJ Supremes
decided the dems could replace Toricelli with another
candidate); it is not a practice set in concrete.

In other words, depending on the State, the dems MAY
or MAY NOT be allowed to sponsor a new candidate.

The argument against is that neither the federal
or any State constitution officially recognizes a
political party as anything other than just a legal
entity. A candidate for a political party, despite
calling himself a "democrat" or a "republican" is
therefore *really* running as an individual. He
can therefore NOT be replaced by someone else (an
argument really against hanky-panky, like a bait-
and-switch of a candidate not wanted by the rank
and file of a party, put in at the last minute by
the smoky room boys.)

This could also be justified in precedence with the
refusal of the courts to unseat a winning candidate
who immediately after election decides to switch
political parties. His old party has no standing
to replace him.

On the OTHER side, the argument is a common sense
one, namely that a large portion of the State should
have the right to vote for someone of a certain
legal political leaning, in this case a democrat--
or why bother to hold an election at all?

--
Whine whine. Bitch bitch.
-- Philbert Desenex

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote in message

> This may not be the case. Despite what happened in
> New Jersey a couple of weeks ago (the NJ Supremes
> decided the dems could replace Toricelli with another
> candidate); it is not a practice set in concrete.

I think it's different when someone dies than when someone just quits. I
believe there IS a precedent for when someone dies, 'cause remember that one
guy that died but got elected anyway and then they chose someone to take his
place, and they chose his wife, 'cause they figured she would know what he
would have wanted. So I think they have some kind of plan for if this
happens. Maybe they just go with the candidate that got the next most
number of votes at the primaries, or maybe the Party State Chairman chooses
someone, or something. But regardless of the plan, it WILL be total chaos,
just as Bibleman predicted!!!

Somebody should like, totally research this and tell us what the deal is.
Kevan, I'm looking in your direction!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote in message
news:3DB99586.2075@succeeds.com
> Rev. Magdalen wrote:
>>
>> ...So the Democrats are going to have to just PICK
>> SOMEBODY to run in his place now...
>
> This may not be the case. Despite what happened in
> New Jersey a couple of weeks ago (the NJ Supremes
> decided the dems could replace Toricelli with another
> candidate); it is not a practice set in concrete.

Okay, according to the news bimbos, the Democrats have five days to put
someone else on the ballot if they want to. If they don't, then Wellstone's
name stays on the ballot, and people can vote for him with the understanding
that if he wins, JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA will choose someone to actually
serve the term. Probably some wacked-out Independent like himself! And we
all thought Minnesota was boring!! We should have guessed how weird it was
from the things that come out of Minnesota Public Broadcasting.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: glassgnost <dahackerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>

On Fri, 25 Oct 2002 11:33:29 -0700, Rev. Magdalen wrote:

> And, IIRC, JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA now gets to choose WHOEVER HE WANTS
> to fill the rest of Sen. Wellstone's term. But he probably won't bother
> since there's only a week left in it. Though maybe he'll have to,
> because of some obscure law or something, who knows.

What's Hulk Hogan up to nowadays?

--
Mystical Reverend Doktor glassgnost, Minister of Unnatural Selection
-- dlindner (at) socal (dot) rr (dot) com --
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!
http://www.subgenius.com ...or kill me!

Is not marriage an open question, when it is alleged, from the
beginning of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get
out, and such as are out wish to get in?
-- Ralph Emerson

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Slackananda <imaginary@slackananda.com>

On Fri, 25 Oct 2002 18:33:29 GMT, "Rev. Magdalen"
<magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:

"The death of Democratic Minnesota Sen. Paul Wellstone in a plane
crash on Friday was a tragic event. But the cold-hearted calculus on
Wall Street was that it was a positive development because it
heightens the possibility of Republicans regaining control of the
Senate in the upcoming midterm elections. Indeed, the bulk of Friday's
gains came after the news of the senator's death."

Quote from:
http://www.thestreet.com/markets/aarontaskfree/10050462_2.html

No Comment Possible,

--
Slackananda
http://www.slackananda.com
Monument to an Imaginary Ego

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Magdalen" wrote:
>
>
> So anyway, that's some fucked up shit right there, and of course, ample
> fodder for Conspiracy theories. I mean, what a friggin coincidence that the
> ONE GUY most likely to try to thwart Bush's plans would be blown up two
> miles outside an airport in suburban Minnesota. With his wife and one of
> his children, too, just to add extra ruthlessness to the plot. It's like,
> totally sad, dudes.
>

And yet... If you hadn't heard about it your life would go on pretty
much the same as ever.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
wrote:

> And yet... If you hadn't heard about it your life would go on pretty
> much the same as ever.

NO! The Republican Dirty Tricks Super Secret Rich Guy Killer-Squad blew
up that ONE KEY PIVOTAL GUY. The balance now being offset JUST ENOUGH
in the NICK OF TIME, the Shadow Government behind the Bushes will be
able to take ascendancy, and what could have been a Rebel Forces Utopia
Planet will now become The Death Star for ever and ever and ever, one
huge endless factory-apartment-mall-toilet that perpetually recycles
itself pointlessly, keeping the hive of humanity a uniformly miserable
SLAVE CULTURE.. The alternate window of opportunity is now closed, with
this one final assasination. Whether Magdalen had heard and understood
the news of this killing or not, she *will* be in a concentration camp
in *3 years* as a direct result of this one assassination. Whereas, had
the Senator lived, Magdalen's future would be "normal." And the worst
thing is, she won't be imprisoned because of anything to do with the
Church or her voting record. It'll be for a PARKING TICKET.

YOU CYNICAL BASTARD! You're probably pulling in BIG MONEY from Beige
Ops.

I just watched "The Omega Code."

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>
> I just watched "The Omega Code."
>

As usual they pussied out on the graves-busting-open rapture we all
really want to see. I saw some scenes from Megiddo, the sequel to
Omega Code, on tv and it seems to have much more of what I hope for in
an apocalypse drama - mainly apocalypse. Leatherwinged flapping
devils and the destruction of vast armies, etc. If not that, then
guys driving around in big old phone company vans wearing army surplus
helmet liners with the antichrist logo on them like in those other
apocalypse movies.

There's a whole other couple of sets of apocalypse movies out there
now, one based on the Left Behind series and another that looks a
little too talky and docudramaish. But Megiddo has Michael York
shooting lightning bolts out of his hands and screaming abuse at
adoring millions - my kinda antichrist!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

nenslo wrote:

> As usual they pussied out on the graves-busting-open
> rapture we all really want to see...

Now that would be funny. I'm thinking of that as
being like Mike L. Jackson's "Thriller", with the
half-decomposed nasty stinky zombies dancing around
the street WHILE horrified Evangelical preachers try
to get them to STOP DANCIN', 'CAUSE IT'S *SINFUL*!

--
"Expect the unexpectable."
--A NASA Engineer

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>What's Hulk Hogan up to nowadays?

Better yet, what ever happend to the greatest wrestler of old?

Hay Stack Calhoon?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: glassgnost <dahackerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>

On Sat, 26 Oct 2002 18:28:52 -0700, James T. Rex King of the Monsters
wrote:

> Better yet, what ever happend to the greatest wrestler of old?
>
> Hay Stack Calhoon?

Sounds vaguely familiar...

Do you remember Dr. X and Der Klaw?

Uh-oh -- WHY am I suddenly thinking of a VENERABLE religious leader
frolicking on a FORT LAUDERDALE weekend?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>> Hay Stack Calhoon?
>
>Sounds vaguely familiar...
>
>Do you remember Dr. X and Der Klaw?

Hay Syack was just this big fat guy who wore a pair of bibe coveralls and no
shoes into the ring.

I vuagly remeber Dr. X. But Der Klaw draws a blank. Wrestling was better before
the WWE took over. It was campier. Now its just sleezy low rate soft core porn.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>"The death of Democratic Minnesota Sen. Paul Wellstone in a plane
>crash on Friday was a tragic event. But the cold-hearted calculus on
>Wall Street was that it was a positive development because it
>heightens the possibility of Republicans regaining control of the
>Senate in the upcoming midterm elections. Indeed, the bulk of Friday's
>gains came after the news of the senator's death."
>
>Quote from:
>http://www.thestreet.com/markets/aarontaskfree/10050462_2.html

I read a better one in Business Week: Since the Corporations are now "forced"
to tell the truth about their bookkeeping, they now must chose in the way to
increase profits:

1) Cut CEO Saliaries & Stock options (where all teh 90's productivity gains
went to anyway)

2) take it out on employees.

BW says that option 1 will cause a CEO revolt, while option2 will possibly
deepen the reccesssion by killing the comsumer confidence as well as sales of
durable goods.

BW predicts it will be option 2, and the reccession will drag out another year.

But the market will get a small rise (until the money saved from teh cut backs
is gone)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

James T. Rex King of the Monsters wrote:
>
> I read a better one in Business Week: Since the
> Corporations are now "forced" to tell the truth
> about their bookkeeping...

DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT! (now, where did I hear that before?)

The SEC just appointed William Webster (name sound
familiar?) to head the new board overseeing accounting
procedures. According to the WSJ, "Mr. Webster's lack
of accounting expertise, and the controversy surrounding
his selection, has heightened the importance of the
other four appointments to the accounting board."

William H. Webster was sworn in as Director of Central
Intelligence (DCI) on May 26, 1987. In this position he
headed the Intelligence Community (all foreign
intelligence agencies of the United States) and directed
the Central Intelligence Agency until September 1, 1991.

Oh yeah, now THERE'S someone I would expect would clean
up the DIRT IN CORPORATE AMERICA!

BTW, the democrats on the SEC frantically tried to get
a hearing for a REAL appointee, John Biggs, ex-head of
the TIAA-CREF college teachers' pension fund, who had
a reputation as being tough on accountants; even
demanding an open meeting to decide. They were out-
voted on a party-line 3-2.

--
"This hedgehog will live with us!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Reverend DJ Epoch <nunyabiz@noway.com>

> James T. Rex King of the Monsters wrote:

> BTW, the democrats on the SEC frantically tried to get
> a hearing for a REAL appointee, John Biggs, ex-head of
> the TIAA-CREF college teachers' pension fund, who had
> a reputation as being tough on accountants; even
> demanding an open meeting to decide. They were out-
> voted on a party-line 3-2.
>

And this is surprising? Just more confirmation that Big Bidness IS the
gubbment, and truthful accounting is dead and buried in Amuhrica, LLC.

Abandon Hope, Inc.

Member FDIC

_________________
-- Reverend DJ Epoch
-- The Church of Our lady of Perpetual Motion
-- Cathedral, Carwash and Dancehall
-- Devine Southern Redneck Clench
-- Home of the Traci Lords Memorial Brothel

Divine Southern Redneck Clench Recruitment site at:
http://revdjepoch.net

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.comnospam (James T. Rex King of the Monsters)

>And this is surprising? Just more confirmation that Big Bidness IS the
>gubbment, and truthful accounting is dead and buried in Amuhrica, LLC.
>
>Abandon Hope, Inc.
>
>Member FDIC

We are living in a era that is a cross betwenn the world of the first
Rollerball Movie and the early world of DEVO Videos.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: dinosaurbob@comcast.net (dinosaurbob)

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote in message news:<3DBA361A.42EE1B31@yahooX.com>...

>
> And yet... If you hadn't heard about it your life would go on pretty
> much the same as ever.

Well, I guess with that attitude you'll be one of the ones who *won't*
need to be hauled in for "regrooving" by the Thought Police.

+Dinosaurbob+

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote in message
news:3DBA361A.42EE1B31@yahooX.com

> And yet... If you hadn't heard about it your life would go on pretty
> much the same as ever.

There was a disclaimer at the top of my post meant for you in particular,
stating that everything below it was meant only for those who care about
politics. So, it's pretty stupid of you to come back with a one-liner that
basically translates to "Ha ha! You care about politics and I, nenslo,
think politics is a meaningless waste of time!!" I know you think that. We
all do. But some of us want to talk about politics anyway, so if you don't
like it, you can shut the fuck up and go talk about ancient hippie music or
psychedelic artwork whatever it is that does interest you.

And by the way, don't think that all your public apathy NOW is going to keep
you out of the re-education camps. They know what you've been up to, and
you're going to be carted off with the rest of us when the time comes.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Of you guys really believed there were concentration camps awaiting
you, you would be positioning yourselves to stay OUT of them. Nenslo's
just being as smart as he can. Considering. Given his situation. "THEY"
don't need to put you in the Camps if you're constantly on record as
saying, "What camps? I know of no camps."

My radio spouting buddies Chas and Dave like to get on the public
airwaves, and go on and on about those concentration camps. KEEP YOUR
JAWS -FLAPPIN', I say, I'll be tossing sardine cans over the fence to
you out of pity, once those camps go up and you're in there for talking
about 'em.

So that's why I am not afraid of those concentration camps. There's no
such thing. There shall be no reason for the Apocalypse Nazi
Akerikkkkkkkan Police to search my basement for secret hidden families
of SubJewniuses.

Ah, but you're young, you have everything to lose, so therefore you
throw all caution to the wind. I am old and have nothing to lose, so
I'm careful as hell.

Primates!

You notice that this discussion started off on the assassination and
coup, but swiftly verged over into a detailed discussion of
professional wrestlers of the past.

"THEY" don't have to put cameras on every corner or make TVs that watch
us, because "THEY" already know what we're doing. Partying and
bullshitting. Partying and bullshitting.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:271020021613012233%stang@subgenius.com...

> > And by the way, don't think that all your public apathy NOW is going to
keep
> > you out of the re-education camps. They know what you've been up to,
and
> > you're going to be carted off with the rest of us when the time comes.
> >

> If you guys really believed there were concentration camps awaiting
> you, you would be positioning yourselves to stay OUT of them. Nenslo's
> just being as smart as he can. Considering. Given his situation. "THEY"
> don't need to put you in the Camps if you're constantly on record as
> saying, "What camps? I know of no camps."

Of course *I* know there aren't any re-education camps, but I want NENSLO to
THINK there are! Shhhhh.

> Ah, but you're young, you have everything to lose, so therefore you
> throw all caution to the wind. I am old and have nothing to lose, so
> I'm careful as hell.

I don't have a lot to worry about because I have no scruples about having
disgusting monkey sex with whoever is in charge of the hypothetical
re-education camps. Even if they're gay guys they'll still need people like
me for "cover".

>
> Primates!
>
> You notice that this discussion started off on the assassination and
> coup, but swiftly verged over into a detailed discussion of
> professional wrestlers of the past.

That is because professional wrestlers are our only hope. They're biding
their time right now, but when we REALLY NEED them, they will come.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Magdalen" wrote:

>
> There was a disclaimer at the top of my post meant for you in particular,
> stating that everything below it was meant only for those who care about
> politics. So, it's pretty stupid of you to come back with a one-liner that
> basically translates to "Ha ha! You care about politics and I, nenslo,
> think politics is a meaningless waste of time!!" I know you think that. We
> all do. But some of us want to talk about politics anyway, so if you don't
> like it, you can shut the fuck up and go talk about ancient hippie music or
> psychedelic artwork whatever it is that does interest you.

You haven't got the faintest idea of what I think or what interests
me. Your mistranslation of my statement is the result of you saying
something I didn't say and claiming that was what I really meant when
I said what I said. That is an error on your part.

>
> And by the way, don't think that all your public apathy NOW is going to keep
> you out of the re-education camps. They know what you've been up to, and
> you're going to be carted off with the rest of us when the time comes.
>

I think the Nenslologism "signipathy" is a more apt term, but since I
only invented it yesterday you couldn't be expected to know about it.
It means caring about things which have an actual effect on you. If
you had never heard about the subject in question you would not be
feeling emotions about it. You would very likely have lived your life
exactly as it was before and not been affected by the event in any
way. That is nothing but a statement of fact and is not intended as a
critique of the event itself or its relative value. I care about
politics which have a genuine effect on my life. That is not a
statement about the value of things which do not have an effect on my
life. Those things are just as important to someone else as the
things which affect me are to me. I actually never heard of the guy
until yesterday and don't expect my life to change at all as a result
of his death. Yet he seems to have been a very interesting and
productive person and I agree strongly with what I have learned of his
political activities. So fuck me up the ass with a Nova Scotian
Christmas Tree.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

>
>fuck me up the ass with a Nova Scotian
> Christmas Tree.

Only if you're wearing one of those shiny black bondage suits where your
arms are bound in by your sides and your feet are bound into "ballerina
shoes" and your head is completely covered in latex except for a small
breathing hole.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
> You have absolutely no idea what I think. NONE.

You think what I WANT you to think, Skippy. You should have gotten an
aluminum foil deflector beanie when you had the chance, but NOOOO, you were
too cool for THAT!

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Original file name: Senator Wellstone Dea.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:41