My Weekend

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sun, Feb 2, 2003 1:10 PM

We went camping this weekend with the local AMTGARD LARP group and did
not leave the grounds for three days. I had composed a post in my head
to tell you all about it, because it was very interesting the way it was
kind of like, but unlike, X-Day, but when we stopped at the gas station
on the way home and saw the headline "SHUTTLE LOST", I realized that it
wouldn't be appropriate to tell you about it now.

This is very sad news and I think it's gross that people are selling
pieces of it. I hope nobody tries to say that Arabs blew it up. The
Lord says that if you think about it, it was bound to happen sooner or
later because it's been almost two decades since the last big space
disaster.

--
They are mean because they are rejects from society.

--Bill Palmer on SubGenii

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From: "Draco The Elder" <webZweSpin@ya.net>

"Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:1ad%9.17471$ZX5.774039@twister.austin.rr.com...
> We went...

...CAME AND KICKED SOME ASS. Who
the FUCK keeps PINGING me?

Hmmmmmmmm.

Where'd that 'lil heifer in the training bra run off to?

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From: prostata@bronze.coil.com (The Stinking Bishop Prostata Cantata MP)

In article <1ad%9.17471$ZX5.774039@twister.austin.rr.com>,
Rev. Magdalen <magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:
>
>This is very sad news and I think it's gross that people are selling
>pieces of it. I hope nobody tries to say that Arabs blew it up. The
>Lord says that if you think about it, it was bound to happen sooner or
>later because it's been almost two decades since the last big space
>disaster.

The Lord is wise. You can only push your luck doing something
that dangerous so many times before it comes back on you. These things
will happen.

It's a small risk, but at those speeds there *is* just a lot that
can go wrong. And, dammit, we're just not that good at it yet. We just
need more practice is all.

Praise all who are willing to take the risk. It's important work.

--
ItisbycaffinealonethatIsetmymindinmotion.
Thebeansbecomegrounds
thegroundsbecomeespresso
theespressoiscaffine

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From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <jb2m1b.mc.ln@news.concourse.com>, The Stinking Bishop
Prostata Cantata MP <prostata@bronze.coil.com> wrote:

> Praise all who are willing to take the risk. It's important work.

Earth -- they got off.

They are much more serious than we SubGenius amateurs have been about
getting our own ships built, and I wish a lot more of my hard earned
tax money could be devoted to THIS way of killing people, FOR GOOD
EXPERIMENTAL (and unknown Top Secret) REASONS, rather than some of the
other ways it's spent on.

Those pilots know better than anybody how dangerous it is, and they do
it anyway, perhaps because they'd rather die doing something than
talking about it.

I'd rather just talk about that particular activity, myself. You won't
see me on a fucking motorcycle much less a Year 2003 Space Rocket.

Think of all the cool super-secret gizmos those astronauts got to fool
with while alive, though. Man.

Hey, I just came up with a good paranoid scenario. The astronauts have
been instructed to dump this mysterious cargo into orbit. One of them
does some homework and discovers that it's a Doomsday Privacy-Erasing
Device that could easily be used by the Wrong Hands to enslave all
humanity under (FILL IN THE BLANK ACCORDING TO YOUR PARTICULAR CON
SCARECROW). The astronauts confer and decide not to activate the evil
device. But one of them is of course with Them, the big Them, and he
pulls a Death ray on the other astronauts. It's a stand-off. Then the
bwoman astronaut who he knocked out COMES TO just in time to clobber
him from behind. There's a DRAMATIC FIGHT aboard the shuttle as it's
coming in for a landing.

The good guys defeat the bad guy and have informed Mission Control that
they are coming in for a landing with BIG NEWS that will shock
everyone.

That's when They (in Washington or Langley) order the secret button
pushed that makes the shuttle explode on re-entry, just as if a heat
panel or something had been damaged during takeoff. (Which had fake
footage of standing by, in case of just this contingency!)

Hey, see, I'm just like a REAL conspiracy theorist now.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

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From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> Hey, I just came up with a good paranoid scenario.
> The astronauts have been instructed to dump this
> mysterious cargo into orbit. One of them does some
> homework and discovers that it's a Doomsday Privacy-
> Erasing Device that could easily be used by the Wrong
> Hands to enslave all humanity under (FILL IN THE BLANK
> ACCORDING TO YOUR PARTICULAR CON SCARECROW). The
> astronauts confer and decide not to activate the evil
> device. But one of them is of course with Them, the
> big Them, and he pulls a Death ray on the other
> astronauts. It's a stand-off. Then the bwoman astronaut
> who he knocked out COMES TO just in time to clobber
> him from behind. There's a DRAMATIC FIGHT aboard the
> shuttle as it's coming in for a landing...
>

That still doesn't explain that nekkid babe with the
spiral eyeballs walkin' all over West Texas, french-
kissin' rednecks and turnin' 'em into mummies OR them
British guys with swords runnin' all over the place
lookin' for her.

--
Drop Down on all Fours and Stick Your Ass High
in the Air: You are Sexy as Hell! Young, Firm
Breasts, a High, Tight Rump...Why Do You Have
to Do the Drug 'Thang'? Damn, Bitch, You are
So Pretty!
--anti-drug PSA for the US Air Force

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Original file name: My Weekend.txt.txt - converted on Friday, 13 June 2003, 22:41