A Dark Vision of the Future

From: glassgnost <dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Aug 28, 2002 10:30 PM

I have just been witness to a preview of THE END in THX 120 fuckin' mm
technicolor - played out to an audience of one. It now falls upon me to
pass this tale to you...

We open our play in the Death Chamber. The Condemned Man is strapped in
the gurney with the IV inserted, and the Clock Is Ticking. The Pipe can
be glimpsed hovering about his mouth. Two guards stand with him, and on
the other side of the plexiglass, a crowd.

The Condemned Man is given the traditional opportunity to speak his last
words. Furthermore, this is the first-ever multicast *live* pay-per-view
execution in history. The Viewers have paid a pretty penny for this, so
The Promoters are in no hurry to shut him up...

It was a fuking JOKE! That's what we do there! What the fuck is wrong
with you people?!!

Don't say I didn't try to warn you. Hell, I even offered to roll up my
sleeves and help lock it down. OK, there was *some* salesmanship
happening, but THAT'S HOW WE DO BUSINESS!

...and so it has gone all his life. He's the Wild Card, the Mojo Man.
He's lived a charmed life. Probably never even *had* to take *any* job,
but just didn't have anything better to amuse himself with. And Connie,
for whatever unscruitable reason, seemed to *like* having him running
off every morning and doing his work. Whatever that was...

Back in the Death Chamber:

Well, FUCK YOU. Yeah, FUCK ALL OF YOU. Fuckwits. You deconstruct every
policy and procedure to DEATH, and keep missing THE BIG PICTURE! It's
going down the shitter, folks! Every half-assed, barely completed job
done to minimum required standards is coming back to BITE YOU ON THE
ASS. You've produced CRAP, and the fuckups are reaching CRITICAL MASS.

Fuck it! I AM SO OUTTA HERE! Just DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IT! Elvis is
LEAVING THE BUILDING! PULL THE GODDAMMNED SWITCH! LET'S ROLL!

Meanwhile, the Viewers are at their feet in an orgy of voyeuristic
feeding-frenzy delight. A tidal wave of data pours over the ethers as
call-ins, online polls and bitter debates of all kinds rage onward.

The phone rings by the guard at the switch. He picks it up, and it
becomes apparent that there is a problem. Even as the Condemnded Man
shrieks at him to pull the lever, he shakes his head and steps away from
the console.

In begging to die, the Condemned Man has sabotaged his own execution.

He rails on at the guard: What is the fucking breakdown, son? DO IT!

...and on it goes. The guard finally loses his cool, and MAKES A MOVE
FOR THE SWITCH. The OTHER guard intercedes - after all, this is no
longer Kosher. They struggle furiously, knocking the Condemned Man's
gurney backward. The Crowd Stands Agape.

And it finally happens. The guards separate, and draw their pistols. The
Crowd panica, and rushes the ONLY EXIT - and the door's jammed. As the
Crowd stampedes, the guards OPEN FIRE, killing one another instantly. As
the last guard draws his final breath, he gets off another shot - which
ricochets off the back wall, plucks the needle from the Condemned Man's
arm, and pegs the LAST MAN ALIVE atop the clusterfuck at the Exit square
in the back.

The Condemned Man is left in the fully inverted cross position, now
powerless to do nothing other than staring at the remains of the
telecast monitors, simultaneously gibbering and giggling like an insane
babboon while casting the harshest of Dark Obscenities at The World as
IT ALL FALLS APART.

...and so begins The End.

It may have already happened. Time will tell.

--
Mystical Reverend Doktor glassgnost, Minister of Unnatural Selection
-- dlindner (at) socal (dot) rr (dot) com --
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!
http://www.subgenius.com ...or kill me!

"Obedience. A religion of slaves. A religion of intellectual death. I
like it. Don't ask questions, don't think, obey the Word of the Lord --
as it has been conveniently brought to you by a man in a Rolls with a
heavy Rolex on his wrist. I like that job! Where can I sign up?"
-- Oleg Kiselev,oleg@CS.UCLA.EDU

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: glassgnost <dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>

glassgnost wrote:

> ...and on it goes. The guard finally loses his cool, and MAKES A MOVE
> FOR THE SWITCH. The OTHER guard intercedes - after all, this is no
> longer Kosher. They struggle furiously, knocking the Condemned Man's
> gurney backward. The Crowd Stands Agape.

Addendum: In a world of pathological liars, the man who told it to you
Straight Up and Neat *is* a criminal.

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Original file name: A Dark Vision of the Futu.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:48