The Struggle to Maintain Dignity

From: UnitIV@sputum.com (Doktor DynaSoar)

Ginsu wrote:

} I work at the University of Pennsylvania library, in the Reference
}department. I'm pretty good at it. There aren't many paying jobs for
}librarians, however, and what ones there are don't pay much. It turns out
}that the program I am in at Drexel has a parallel program, a Masters of
}Science in Information Systems. It is in the same school, and the L&IS
}people have access to all of the same coursework, for credit to their
}degree. So I take mostly computer courses. I am learning C++ right now,
}anticipating Java. Not sure for what but I'm learning it. Turns out that
}I am pretty good at programming.

There will be no librarians. There will be information engineers and
information technicians. The difference is 2 times the salary.

} Meanwhile, I applied for and got accepted into a job as a Database
}Administrator. This job will not be as multidisciplinary as reference
}librarianship, but the pay is good and it is also a Penn job so there will
}not be so much pressure as there would be if I had gotten a "Corporate"
}job. Also I am looking to move into University City, as I still live at
}home with my dad.

There's a start.

} Menawhile, my dad gets laid off from his job as a Network Manager from the
}company he has worked at for 15 years, forcing him into the job market. He
}is a Novell engineer with years of experience and has programmed in
}Assembler, if that means anything to anybody and they know of an open
}position in the New Jersey area let me know.
} Further, my girlfriend is in her second year of law school without a penny
}to her name, and her car is on its last legs. The loans are coming due,
}the work is piling up, I'm still not out of the house yet, and menawhile...
}
} The SubGeniuses are complaining that I've lost my hate.

Not your hate, your FIRE.

} Well, maybe I have! Maybe I've sold out for a bowl of potted gruel and a
}handful of beans. But you're people to talk. How dare you accuse me of
}all that. I have never not once lost my faith in the Supreme Sales Master
}J. R. "Bob" Dobbs. Never no not once! Not even that one moment at the
}Stump, when I experienced a Moment of Doubt did I ever lose faith in That
}Man "Bob"! His Chosen Ministers, on the other hand, have let me down
}plenty of times.

Couldn't a told from your recent preaching.

} And in fact, I realized that if Stang wasn't making any money off of the
}Church, there was no way in Hell that I was ever going to be able to. So
}why, then, would I want to give away my services for free? Answer? I
}wouldn't!

Nonononono. You're confusing your job with Quitting Your Job For "Bob".

} So I go out and get a Conspiracy job. So kill me. Most of you have them,
}too. And you know what I found? I do need the Church of the SubGenius to
}purge me of the evils of the Conspiracy. So kill me. I need "Bob"! I
}need Slack! Kill me! Kill me! I'm in discernment! Keep It Up! Keep It
}Up! Ok Ok Slack slack
}
}Dammit. I'm still here. But...where's "Bob"? You mean-there really IS
}
}a Conspiracy? You mean-there really IS
}
}a "Bob"? You mean-
}
}I coulda had Slack--AND I BLEW IT??

You mean, there really IS a Ginsu?

Only Dobbs does and should make money off the Church. Praise Stang for the
supreme faith for losing the most to prove that point (and someone else for
keeping him in the meantime).

Quit your job for "Bob", EVEN IF JUST FOR A SECOND.

Then preach your unholy ass off in his name to get the Slack that money
can't buy. And do it for FREE.

I know whereof I spout. I ALWAYS pay my way into every gig I preach at.
Take not from Dobbs' pockets. Take instead from his Pipe.

Yeah, there's a CONspiracy we WE ARE THEM. But WE KNOW IT and THEY DON'T.
That one fact can keep you giggling your way out of the interminable
CONshit sequences and save your sanity, and save your soul so it can
recline comfortably on the couches in the Saucers of Removal.

Don't believe, O Ye Of The Knife, just fucking PREEEEEEECH.

Hey men.

--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius

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Original file name: Struggle to Maintain Dign.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:48