Subject: Capitain America kicks Al Quada ass

From: "Two Beans" <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>

http://www.marvel.com/comics/trailers/

Click on the Cap cover.

http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/twobeans
http://mp3.com/twobeans

"There, the spark leaps to life. The Golden Age quivers on the brink of
creation. Live, my machine! Live my savior! You have my breath... You have
my dream, my dream."
-The Residents, "Failure / Reconstruction" from the album Mark of the Mole

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Subject: Re: Capitain America kicks Al Quada ass
From: modemac@modemac.com (Modemac)

"Two Beans" wrote:
> http://www.marvel.com/comics/trailers/
> Click on the Cap cover.

This is one problem with these comic books and their slavish devotion
to "continuity." If superheroes really existed in today's world, they
would have made massive changes and the world wouldn't look anything
at all like it does today. (Read "Watchmen" for what a superhero
world might look like.) So whenever some big earth-shattering event
like 9/11 occurs, the comic books have to work it into their "history"
so that their world will still look like ours. End result:
Superheroes are powerless to keep big disasters from occuring, unless
the disaster is caused by a costumed supervillain.

Back when they re-booted Superman in the 1980s, they were originally
going to have him rescue a crashing NASA space shuttle. But then the
Challenger exploded, so they quickly changed it into Superman saving
an "experimental space plane."

There was a Superman story published in 1943 or so that showed him
capturing Hitler and Stalin, and bringing them to trial before a world
court or something.

I'm told there was also a story published in the 1960s that dealt with
Superman's reaction to JFK's assassination, though I haven't seen that
one myself.

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Subject: Re: Capitain America kicks Al Quada ass
From: "nu-monet v4.0, Expert in Sexual Deviancy" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Modemac wrote:

> This is one problem with these comic books and their
> slavish devotion to "continuity." If superheroes
> really existed in today's world, they would have made
> massive changes and the world wouldn't look anything
> at all like it does today...

Alternatively, what if superheroes (and supervillains)
actually *do* exist, but as a group are so astoundingly
paranoid, neurotic, and immature that they have to be
obsessively incognito?

You figure that way back when, one side or the other
finally "had it up to here", and systematically hunted
down and destroyed or converted the other. Then what?
They really have no deep grasp of politics or political
subtlety--and not enough attention span to figure it out.

Well, they're in charge. Anything they really want and
are willing to force, they get. But despite everything
else, like the ancient mythological gods, their emotional
maturity is stunted. They have figured out they just can't
live around fully functional people without wanting to kill
them, sooner or later. Any adult human can manipulate them
until another manipulates them better.

So even if they take mood-altering drugs, there is no way
they can avoid being a dozen times geekier and dangerous
than "Trekkers for Gandalf" on meth and PCP with a chainsaw.
Even in disguise people gawk and point and call them
"freaks", and they know that even if they can figure out
how to have sex with a person without killing them, nobody
is going to *want* to. Mutant bodily fluids? Ecch.

So they hang out together on "Monster Island", and keep an
eye on the rest of the world solely by watching television
and by getting communiques from various military orgs
(which explains their fucked up and distorted picture of
everything.) The rest of the time they try to reproduce,
which is not easy, considering that most of the mutants
are sterile, and a good chunk of the rest are gay as snakes.
(Especially The Hulk. You *know* he's a big time anal dude.)

Well, if an asteroid is going to wipe out the nothern
hemisphere, they get a message and they're on it. But if
there's an electoral dispute between Gore and Bush, they
avoid it like the plague. Even the sight of a mini-cam
crew or a lawyer is prolly enough to make one of them shit
himself.

But, reassuringly, I suppose, you just know that as long as
they are fixated over things like watching Pamela Anderson
and Kid Rock on TV (prolly the closest thing they have to
"peers") then maybe with luck they'll just ignore us until
they die out, an unmourned evolutionary hiccup.

"We are on the verge of a global transformation.
All we need is the right major crisis and the
nations will accept the New World Order."
--David Rockefeller

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Original file name: Capitain America kicks Al QuadE - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:39