Subject: Information Overload!!!

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack

So some time ago, I dunno, Last Wednesday or something, the cosmic forces of
the universe just fell together to produce a wild overflow of information in
my house! First of all, strangely enough, all three of our monthly netflix
movies came in at the same time -- The Planet of the Apes (1967), Willy
Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, and The Matrix. Then about six or seven
interesting catalogs and zines came in the mail too. And then the
spontaneous purchase of two new computer games from the sale rack at the
mall -- Lords of Magic and The Sims Deluxe!

I was doing ok when it was just reading matter and movies, because, you
know, those end at some point. But my sims! They need my constant
attention, and I don't know if there will ever be an end. I dream of the
day when my sim is so rich she will not have to work and can just throw
house parties for the other sims all the time, but those days are far, far
off.

So this Deluxe edition lets you create sims with the photograph and
astrological profile of anyone you can get a .jpg of. So of course, the
Lord and I made sims of ourselves and put them in separate houses to see
whether or not we would have gotten married had we been computer-generated
simulations of ourselves. So far we like each other a lot, but we haven't
managed to get married yet. I am a professional daredevil and the Lord is
an executive.

You need multiple friends in order to succeed in the game, so we made Connie
and "Bob" Dobbs sims. Boy are they trouble! They came over and trashed my
place and Connie flooded my bathroom. Then they sat and watched my TV until
2 AM before they finally left. After that Connie seduced the Lord and now
it's unclear which of us he'll marry. As for "Bob", all he ever wants to
talk about is blowing bubbles, and he'll come and ring your doorbell when
you're not home and then just stand around wondering why you don't answer
the door.

I had to take a break because I was getting really annoyed at the Lord's
style of Sim playing. He'll let the Sims sit around in the dark until he
can afford really COOL lamps for them, and he never lets them sit still,
he's always badgering them to do stuff, he's all like "Have fun, dammit!
Faster!"

One thing we've learned from this game, though, is that everyone needs a
maid. You don't have time for cleaning. The other thing we learned is
that humans, left alone without a higher power to direct them, will swiftly
become gibbering, pajama-clad idiots who stay up all night stomping bugs on
their lawn, pissing wherever they are when they get the urge.

So, the proper signature delimiter is the way mine is ("-- ") and not the
way yours is ("--").
-- Some Linux Freak

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Information Overload!!!
From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Tue, 15 Oct 2002 02:37:02 GMT, "Rev. Magdalen"
<magdalen@subgenius.com> wrote:

>So some time ago, I dunno, Last Wednesday or something, the cosmic forces of
>the universe just fell together to produce a wild overflow of information in
>my house! First of all, strangely enough, all three of our monthly netflix
>movies came in at the same time -- The Planet of the Apes (1967), Willy
>Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,

http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com/sound/wonka06_0.mp3

That movie is a hidden Weird Mutant Masterpiece, but it's all MIXED UP
with this other movie about this little fruity kid with a bad haircut,
so it's easy to miss the SECRET MESSAGE in there for OUR KIND.

Evil alien midgets in clown makeup killing the normal kids one by one?
Gene Wilder as a master of improvised sarcastic bulldada? And it ends
HOW, in an escape via a mysterious SPACECRAFT (I mean obviously, the
elevator at the end is some form of spacecraft)?

Dobbs is in there somewhere. I just haven't figured out where yet.

--

"The coolness of the weapons helps take the sting out of
having one's airports police-stated." -- Rev. Ivan Stang

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Original file name: Information Overload!!! - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:39