Cafepress Shirt saves COTSG!

From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, May 16, 2002 12:36 AM

Today, I wore my nice NuBobIcon golf shirt. Yes, I was walking around a
federal facility with a Dobbshead silkscreened on my back all day.
Everybody is so pink there, they were afraid to ask. I think the
dobbsifix looked a little too religious for anyone to dare ask about it.

I stopped for gas on the way home. Now, this gets a little complex.

As I started to work the gas thingy into the car holey, a fellow came up
to me. He was bearing a microphone attached to some kind of minidisc or
other MP3 Recorder. He told me he was doing man in the street
interviews about this dude Frank Russo that is our county gas pump
poobah, the guy that ensures you are getting nicely ripped off with
smaller than kosher gallons of arab juice.

He asked me if I had any idea who Frank Russo was or if I recognized his
picture which is stuck on every gas pump in this county. Then he
noticed my Dobbs bumper sticker and Dobbshead on the shirt and said,
gee, I see YOU have a picture of some sort...who is he?

Well, I explained that Dobbs is kind of the head of a Texas-based,
Internet, UFO Death Cult. I went on for about twenty minutes explaining
how we were about to have the fifth annual end of the world fest in
Sherman NY.

He made some comment about the kink in the NBO icon resembling or
perhaps symbolizing Bob's "unit". I then went on to explain that Bob
probably has more than one "unit", in fact he probably has SEVERAL
ROWS. I even managed to end the interview with an AIIIIIEIEIEIEIEIE!

The guy, I'm sure, thinks he's got the story of the century there. I
did mention to him that he could check out SubSite if he wanted more
information. In the end, he said I probably didn't really give a damn
about Frank Russo, and now, neither did he. I told him we'd be watching
Frank Russo and the rest of the Pinks burning as the pleasure saucers
departed the burning planet.

Hell, I don't even know what radio station he was working for. I figure
if he checks out subsite, he's either going to try to convince his boss
to do a special or get freaked out like a true NORMAL and burn his
compact flash memory card or something. Or, hell, even, he might bring
an entire satellite downlink truck to Sherman on July 5th at 7 AM
complete with Peter Jennings or Tom Brokaw.

I did mention to the guy about how Dobbs image on your clothing can
sometimes tilt the luck plane. And in this case, I told him we must
have just both experienced a genuine in flow. I did give him my Email
address and show him the membership card and explain the triple your
money back guarantee.

So we'll see. Dobbs sows, and we reap! Most fun I've had in days...

[*]
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From: "Two Beans" <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>

"iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote in message
news:A7B5C33A083DFBEF.E8ADF4030FF80B8A.1021EA95588B8D37@lp.airnews.net...
> Today, I wore my nice NuBobIcon golf shirt. Yes, I was walking around a
> federal facility with a Dobbshead silkscreened on my back all day.
> Everybody is so pink there, they were afraid to ask. I think the
> dobbsifix looked a little too religious for anyone to dare ask about it.
>

I was wearing the Dobbshead shirt on the BART Train in Oaklmand a few days
ago and some old yippieyuppiehippy noticed and asked "Is that Bob Dobbs?"

I told her that, infact, it was "Bob" and we talked about my cult for a
short bit. She tried to sell me hard on some sci-fi convention in the area.

The fact is more and more folks here KNOW about the Church than I thought
was possible back home in Michigan. The sad thing is, Most of these people
that know about "Bob" hav en't even sent in their $30 each yet.

Which is worse? The pink that does not know "Bob", or the pink that does
know but doesn't pay?

The Reverend Doktor Bishop Two Beans (Sanctus),
Pope of the East Bay,
Sir Minister Sinister,
Inquiring minds wanna know

http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/twobeans
http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/nhgh
http://mp3.com/twobeans

"There, the spark leaps to life. The Golden Age quivers on the brink of
creation. Live, my machine! Live my savior! You have my breath... You have
my dream, my dream."
-The Residents, "Failure / Reconstruction" from the album Mark of the Mole

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From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

"Two Beans" <twobeans@godhatesyou.com> wrote in message
news:E1QE8.38036$fU2.3739089@bin8.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com...

> The fact is more and more folks here KNOW about the Church than I thought
> was possible back home in Michigan. The sad thing is, Most of these people
> that know about "Bob" hav en't even sent in their $30 each yet.
>
> Which is worse? The pink that does not know "Bob", or the pink that does
> know but doesn't pay?

I keep trying to tell you people that the Universe won't *allow*
non-SubGeniuses to send in their money, nor will it allow anyone else to do
it *for* them. That doesn't mean we shouldn't get out there and sell for the
Salesman - far from it. Because only the SKOR knows who is and who isn't a
SubGenius in their heart of hearts, and every SubGenius we show the Light is
another soul saved for "Bob" and another $30 brought home to GLORY!

But you shouldn't be surprised when even those who seem like they might send
in their $30 just on principle, or for a lark, or when sufficiently drunk,
don't do it. They never will. They can't. So don't try to distinguish
between Pinks. It's like comparing the genetic structure of different
populations of plague bacteria: it's only useful if you're trying to develop
a virus that will DESTROY THEM ALL.

But if that was it, carry on.

St. Marc

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From: Her Ladyship Lilith von Fraumench <lilith@ZubJenius.com>

In article <E1QE8.38036$fU2.3739089@bin8.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com>, Two
Beans <twobeans@godhatesyou.com> wrote:

> Which is worse? The pink that does not know "Bob", or the pink that does
> know but doesn't pay?

Pinks are Pink; "Bob" will know their money, but only when the Pink
least expects it. And it'll leave a sticky, wet feeling in their wallet
for all time.

Her Ladyship Lilith

--
\m/ -=8=- http://lilith.foolspress.com/ -=8=- \m/

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