SUBGENIUS BEEFCAKE CALENDAR PREVIEW!

From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Jun 21, 2002 11:21 PM

NOT! Sorry folks but you'll just have to get to Brushwood for XDV if you
even want a peak at what's inside! Or on the cover for that matter!

But your fears have come true! Through the efforts of some of the most
insaine, deep, dark, rituals in the forbidden sciences of Dobbsian practice,
a few of your fellow Borthers and Sisters have managed to create, THE FIRST
EVER 2002-2003 SUBGENIUS YETI BEEFCAKE CALENDAR! Going on sale at X-day, can
you take the glories that await you within this specially ordained 13 month
calendar containing your favorites Reverends sporting it all for your eyes
only. Some aint sporting much at all, and others are on a mission, you
Connieites wanted REAL YETI MEN to play with, Well now you've gottem,
they're here and wating to see what Connie thinks she can do, and then DO
IT! Or maybe not... It's all a mystery really, no one even knows if this
Beefcake calendar really exists... Will it ever materialize into something
you can buy, take home, and masterbate to on a regular basis? Not really
sure how to answer that, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!

Bet ya wanna know who's in it don't ya? Well, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND
SEE!

Now this is not exclusively for the Connieits pleasure, some of you
Yeti-males out there won't be able to resist taking one home for "Someone
Else" (wink Wink) BUT NONE THE LESS! You will need to make it to the holy
grounds for such marvels to make themselves apparent in ones blissfully
choked orgasms.

And just in case, rumor has it, there will once again be a CONNIE CALENDAR
TO MASTURBATE TO! That's right folks, even the babes in this church
understand ya gotta take a little before ya give any... So it's very well
possible that there will be a double shabang this year. What better way to
leave the planet then with the ONLY SUBGENIUS CALENDARS IN EXISTANCE
hanging on the wall of your very own, personal extraction saucer?

But then again, this could all be a lie, after all, isn't this just some
wacky church that's full of liers?

But anyway, to get back on track here, remember, there may only be a limited
supply, if it happens at all. So reserve your copy today! Oh wait, well, IF
THEY WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, RESERVE ONE FOR YOURSELF! Don't Miss Out on the
pornography, I mean, Possibility of not getting one if there is one to get!
Get It?

Oh, just forget I ever said anything...

Sincerely yours, forever Bob's,

The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
of the
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
http://www.Digital-Church.com
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION
PO BOX 204206
AUSTIN, TX 78720-4206
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit
www.subgenius.com
or email
RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com
or die pink
or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.
16*2*!!

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Subject: Re: SUBGENIUS BEEFCAKE CALENDAR PREVIEW!
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Jun 22, 2002 12:35 PM
Message-ID: <220620021236248870%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <X2SQ8.10126$Wi.3171067@twister.nyc.rr.com>, Reverend
Sinphaltimus Exmortus <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com> wrote:

> NOT! Sorry folks but you'll just have to get to Brushwood for XDV if you
> even want a peak at what's inside! Or on the cover for that matter!
>

From the samples I saw, it's pretty funny and very artistical. None of
us are very good looking, so we used a lot of special effects.

The Connietite calendar on the other hand has lots of real SKIN.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SUBGENIUS BEEFCAKE CALENDAR PREVIEW!
From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Sat, Jun 22, 2002 1:09 PM
Message-ID: <8b2R8.10809$Wi.3535889@twister.nyc.rr.com>

> From the samples I saw, it's pretty funny and very artistical. None of
> us are very good looking, so we used a lot of special effects.

Well without digital distortion, it would be fairly impossible to view a
nekkid yeti male and survive, we had the viewers in mind. I think it a tough
sell if people on line to buy saw buyers burst into flames at the very
opening of the calendar...

Sincerely yours, forever Bob's,

The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
of the
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
http://www.Digital-Church.com
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION
PO BOX 204206
AUSTIN, TX 78720-4206
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit www.subgenius.com
or email
RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com or die pink
or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.
16*2*!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

"Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com> wrote in message
news:8b2R8.10809$Wi.3535889@twister.nyc.rr.com...
> > From the samples I saw, it's pretty funny and very artistical. None of
> > us are very good looking, so we used a lot of special effects.
>
> Well without digital distortion, it would be fairly impossible to view a
> nekkid yeti male and survive, we had the viewers in mind. I think it a
tough
> sell if people on line to buy saw buyers burst into flames at the very
> opening of the calendar...

To heck with the buyers, I'm having to keep them in a nitrogen environment
to keep the calendars *themselves* from bursting into flames OF THEIR OWN
ACCORD.

That's LIQUID nitrogen, by the way.

Nonetheless, I wouldn't say that *none* of us are good looking. My primary
wife, who is of course Saved, and who is acting as Preliminary Chick Advisor
on the Beefcake calendar, has upon *more than one occasion,* said, "Hey,
he's cute!" whilst reviewing the drafts.

St. Marc

14 Calendar pages in queue, 14 Calendar pages...
Take one down and pass it around,
Another hole in the fabric of spacetime...
13 Calendar pages in queue!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: md_archangel@hotmail.com (mykal d'archangel)

On Sat, 22 Jun 2002 20:28:51 GMT, "St. Marc the Perpetually
Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org> wrote:

>Nonetheless, I wouldn't say that *none* of us are good looking. My primary
>wife, who is of course Saved, and who is acting as Preliminary Chick Advisor
>on the Beefcake calendar, has upon *more than one occasion,* said, "Hey,
>he's cute!" whilst reviewing the drafts.

Is she single?

Oh wait...

Nevermind.
-------------------
http://www.indyvival.com

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: joecosby@mindspring.com (Joe Cosby)

"St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org> hunched
over a computer, typing feverishly;
thunder crashed, "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused"
<disciple@templeoferis.org> laughed madly, then wrote:

From what I've heard, all their moms think so too.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"The Shrink asks me what the American flag means to me.
I tell him, "soak it in heroin Doc, and I'll suck it."
The shrink tells me I have a bad attitude. Tells
me to get right with Jesus.
Then with tears running down their fink faces, the Do-rights
as one man bellow out the Star Spangled banner."

- William S. Burroughs

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@fridayjones.com (Friday Jones)

Will the Foundation be selling any copies that are left over?

"The message is that there are no knowns. There are things we know that we
know.
There are known unknowns, that is to say there are things we now know we
don't know.
But there are also unknown unknowns -- things we do not know we don't know."
- Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "St. Marc the Perpetually Amused" <disciple@templeoferis.org>

On 6/22/02 6:52 PM, in article
friday-ya02408000R2206021956190001@news.earthlink.net, "Friday Jones"
<friday@fridayjones.com> wrote:

> Will the Foundation be selling any copies that are left over?

There aren't going to BE any left over, you pretty little pessimist, you.
*ducking*

Seriously, they're all going to sell out. You watch. However, I have the
originals and can produce extras for later delivery when the teeming masses
exhaust the original supply.

St. Marc

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <friday-ya02408000R2206021956190001@news.earthlink.net>,
Friday Jones <friday@fridayjones.com> wrote:

> >The Connietite calendar on the other hand has lots of real SKIN.
>
> Will the Foundation be selling any copies that are left over?

Sister Decadence has always been the one selling the Connie Calendars.
I think Sinphalimus is doing the Beefcake one, right? There are only
like 100 printed. She had some left after both X-days but I think the
old ones are all sold out now.

Nyalathotep, Cthulhu, those guys all signed with the majors and forgot
their roots.

So get 'em while they're hot! The pictures themselves will age in a
Dorian Gray like fashion so the sooner the better.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: IKOTA <ikota@wistian.com>

Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus wrote:
>
> NOT! Sorry folks but you'll just have to get to Brushwood for XDV if you
> even want a peak at what's inside! Or on the cover for that matter!
>

That's okay, I have a suet feeder out back I can look at if I want to
see a block of congealed fat. Plus it attracts bushtits, which the
average male subgenius certainly does not.

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Original file name: SUBGENIUS BEEFCAKE CA.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:17