YETI SUBGENIUS CALENDAR COVER PREVIEW!

From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.binaries.slack
Date: Fri, Jun 21, 2002 11:20 PM

NOT! Sorry folks but you'll just have to get to Brushwood for XDV if you
even want a peak at what's inside! Or on the cover for that matter!

But your fears have come true! Through the efforts of some of the most
insaine, deep, dark, rituals in the forbidden sciences of Dobbsian practice,
a few of your fellow Borthers and Sisters have managed to create, THE FIRST
EVER 2002-2003 SUBGENIUS YETI BEEFCAKE CALENDAR! Going on sale at X-day, can
you take the glories that await you within this specially ordained 13 month
calendar containing your favorites Reverends sporting it all for your eyes
only. Some aint sporting much at all, and others are on a mission, you
Connieites wanted REAL YETI MEN to play with, Well now you've gottem,
they're here and wating to see what Connie thinks she can do, and then DO
IT! Or maybe not... It's all a mystery really, no one even knows if this
Beefcake calendar really exists... Will it ever materialize into something
you can buy, take home, and masterbate to on a regular basis? Not really
sure how to answer that, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE!

Bet ya wanna know who's in it don't ya? Well, YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT AND
SEE!

Now this is not exclusively for the Connieits pleasure, some of you
Yeti-males out there won't be able to resist taking one home for "Someone
Else" (wink Wink) BUT NONE THE LESS! You will need to make it to the holy
grounds for such marvels to make themselves apparent in ones blissfully
choked orgasms.

And just in case, rumor has it, there will once again be a CONNIE CALENDAR
TO MASTURBATE TO! That's right folks, even the babes in this church
understand ya gotta take a little before ya give any... So it's very well
possible that there will be a double shabang this year. What better way to
leave the planet then with the ONLY SUBGENIUS CALENDARS IN EXISTANCE
hanging on the wall of your very own, personal extraction saucer?

But then again, this could all be a lie, after all, isn't this just some
wacky church that's full of liers?

But anyway, to get back on track here, remember, there may only be a limited
supply, if it happens at all. So reserve your copy today! Oh wait, well, IF
THEY WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, RESERVE ONE FOR YOURSELF! Don't Miss Out on the
pornography, I mean, Possibility of not getting one if there is one to get!
Get It?

Oh, just forget I ever said anything...

Sincerely yours, forever Bob's,

The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
of the
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
http://www.Digital-Church.com
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION
PO BOX 204206
AUSTIN, TX 78720-4206
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit
www.subgenius.com or email
RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com
or die pink or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.
16*2*!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus" <RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com>

"Friday Jones" <friday@fridayjones.com> wrote in message
news:friday-ya02408000R2406020726200001@news.earthlink.net...

>
> "Please sir, can I have some more?"

Of course you can my dear, here's a direct quote from St. Marc

Okay, here's the deal:

If you want to reserve a SubGenius Beefcake Calendar, you must either PayPal
the money to me, the humble printer's devil, at:

disciple@templeoferis.org

or send payment to sEXmortus. Since he's leaving for X-Day this weekend, I
don't know that that's a good idea, but work it out with him. Otherwise,
it's going to be first served, first come at X-Day. The cost is $15.00. Add
$5.00 if you want it mailed. (And, of course, include your mailing address.)
If you don't already have a PayPal account, sign up here:

https://www.paypal.com/affil/pal=GWGQDXFCJ66A2

If you sign up and use me as a referral, I'll ship your calendar for free. I
will NOT ship any calendars until AFTER X-Day, because even with
psychopsychic Xist powers, I am NOT rooting around in the remains of the US
Mail to retrieve anything. Also, I will have your calendar signed at X-Day
and ship you an autographed copy if you prefer.

If you do *not* get one because we run out, you can still order one. I will
print more individually if anybody wants them. There will be no extra charge
but you will have to pay the $5.00 mailing fee.

I do not have any details regarding reservations on Connie-ite calendars,
you will have to talk to Her Lusciousness (Sister Decadence) about that.

St. Marc
Of Course That's Ink on my Hands
--

Ghawar is dying.

--
"

Sincerely yours, forever Bob's,

The Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus
of the
First Ever Digital Church of Mind Slack
http://www.Digital-Church.com
A Totally Independent Clench of
The Church of the SubGenius
THE SUBGENIUS FOUNDATION
PO BOX 204206
AUSTIN, TX 78720-4206
Send $1 and S.A.S.E. for more info
or visit
www.subgenius.com
or email
RevSExmortus@nyc.rr.com
or die pink
or kill me
"Exterminate all rational thought" W.S.B.
16*2*!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

In article <friday-ya02408000R2206021956190001@news.earthlink.net>,
Friday Jones <friday@fridayjones.com> wrote:

> Will the Foundation be selling any copies that are left over?

Sister Decadence has always been the one selling the Connie Calendars.
I think Sinphalimus is doing the Beefcake one, right? There are only
like 100 printed. She had some left after both X-days but I think the
old ones are all sold out now.

Nyalathotep, Cthulhu, those guys all signed with the majors and forgot
their roots.

So get 'em while they're hot! The pictures themselves will age in a
Dorian Gray like fashion so the sooner the better.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: SUBGENIUS BEEFCAKE CALENDAR PREVIEW!
From: IKOTA <ikota@wistian.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Tue, Jun 25, 2002 12:31 AM
Message-ID: <3D17F22B.CBB5BBB9@wistian.com>

Reverend Sinphaltimus Exmortus wrote:
>
> NOT! Sorry folks but you'll just have to get to Brushwood for XDV if you
> even want a peak at what's inside! Or on the cover for that matter!
>

That's okay, I have a suet feeder out back I can look at if I want to
see a block of congealed fat. Plus it attracts bushtits, which the
average male subgenius certainly does not.

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Original file name: YETI SUBGENIUS CALEND.txt - converted on Thursday, 29 May 2003, 19:17