FUCKING new-agers!!!

From: Phinny <voicejail@NOSPAMNOSPAMyahoo.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Apr 18, 2003 6:16 AM

I've been having some psychic experiences in terms of the war and
having visions that really seemed to come true. Okay spooky stuff,
especially when you can back it up with links to news stories and
shit. So I'm a little freaked out. I don't know whether to tell my
shrink, if he's gonna put me on new meds, higher meds or what, they're
talking about LOWERING my meds, so I'm looking for some alternative
help with this stuff.

So I write the whole thing up. I join this Yahoogroup called
[Empaths/Sensitives/Psychics] and for some reason I just had it in my
mind that they would UNDERSTAND that they would say "Oh yes, come in
brother, yes, you are very gifted, we will show you the ways of The
Force, you will be a great warrior THINK NOT of these foolish doctors
and pills WE will guide you and teach you to use your gifts for the
forces of GOOD, you are one of us now..."

It was a bunch of FUCKING LAME-ASS LIMP-WRISTED PANTY-WAISTED SOFT,
MIDDLE-AGED, MIDDLE-CLASS WIMPY **NEW FUCKING AGERS** is what it was

talking about:

"When I see someone smile... I smile too... I pick up on their
feelings... I'm an empath"

"Me too... when I see someone frown... I frown... I'm psychic"

They're talking about "Peace, Love and Light" and the energy that
comes from the color blue... and "Oh have you seen that latest Harry
Potter movie he's SO CUTE hehehehe".

So I've got major fucking issues at stake I'm seeing aztec snakes
getting chopped apart and blades coming out of the southwest, I'm
having things confirmed by news reports. I see Laura Bush's face flash
at me on the computer screen in a visual hallucination! I write this
big manifesto of ALL my psychic phenomenon just to show the fuckers
what it's like to be psychic.

AND THEY KICK ME OUT!!

They kick me out as some kind of NUTCASE KOOK WHACKO FREAK!!

Oh those bastards. If I ever see another one of those crystal-wearing
orchid-lovin' namby pamby world-peace visualizin' DO-GOODERS again I
SWEAR I'LL SPIT at 'em!

Bastards!

Signed,

Bitter on Benzodiazapenes

-=-Phineas

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: SqUiGgLeS <squiggle@sympatico.ca>

Phinny wrote:
>


> Signed,
>
> Bitter on Benzodiazapenes
>
> -=-Phineas

Hi Phinny,

I've found that sometimes it's better not to share your natural gifts,
what with the probability that they won't be appreciated anyway,
and if they are, maybe envied.

Squiggles

--
Pray, v.: "To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled
on behalf of a single petitioner, confessedly unworthy."

- Ambrose Bierce

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v5.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Phinny wrote:
>
> ...So I've got major fucking issues at stake
> I'm seeing aztec snakes getting chopped apart
> and blades coming out of the southwest, I'm
> having things confirmed by news reports. I see
> Laura Bush's face flash at me on the computer
> screen in a visual hallucination! I write this
> big manifesto of ALL my psychic phenomenon just
> to show the fuckers what it's like to be psychic.
>
> AND THEY KICK ME OUT!!
>
> They kick me out as some kind of NUTCASE KOOK
> WHACKO FREAK!!
>
> Oh those bastards. If I ever see another one of
> those crystal-wearing orchid-lovin' namby pamby
> world-peace visualizin' DO-GOODERS again I SWEAR
> I'LL SPIT at 'em!
>

Well, as I see it, you have THREE CHOICES:

1) Become a Carlos Castaneda fan.

2) Check out Madonna's upcoming documentary about
the Kaballah:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/2003-04-17-madonna-main_x.htm

3) Get drunk, get laid, get arrested, get over.

--
"you are the weirdest person I've
run across in a very long time.
You even surpass barwell - and that's
hard to do."
--John Schneider II

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

On Fri, 18 Apr 2003 03:16:49 -0700, Phinny
<voicejail@NOSPAMNOSPAMyahoo.com> wrote:

>I've been having some psychic experiences in terms of the war and
>having visions that really seemed to come true. Okay spooky stuff,
>especially when you can back it up with links to news stories and
>shit. So I'm a little freaked out. I don't know whether to tell my
>shrink, if he's gonna put me on new meds, higher meds or what, they're
>talking about LOWERING my meds, so I'm looking for some alternative
>help with this stuff.
>
>Bastards!
>
>Signed,
>
>Bitter on Benzodiazapenes
>
>-=-Phineas

Very few of them have any abilities like that, so they don't know how
to deal with it.

If you read them for any length of time you find (as you have) that
they have redefined "magic" and "witchcraft" as something benign,
normal, non-threatening, and most important having nothing to do with
the uncanny. That way they can have the little thrill of running
around saying 'OOH OOH I am a great Witch' without having to deal with
the scary part of actual experiencing something strange in their
lives. Plus it makes the hardline skeptic crowd stop making fun of
them.

So when they talk about "magic" or "witchcraft" they find a new way to
spell it, to make sure that you know that when they talk about "magic"
or "witchcraft" you understand (or you are supposed to, anyway) that
they are NOT talking about "magic" or "witchcraft". They are talking
about fluffy bunny huggy sensitivity (wicca/witchcraft) or tough
self-actualization (magick/thelema/magic). Most of their "practice"
is a long, complicated process of finding ways to bury the reality of
their non-talent behind a lush screen of double-talk.

If they ever encountered something truly inexplicable in their lives
they would defecate their pants and quickly become born-again
Christians and spend the rest of their lives hiding in a quaking panic
from the Devil. In fact, that is not an infrequent outcome when one
of them inadvertantly does actually succeed.

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

The Compleat Demystified Idiots
Guide to the Zen of Dummies in a Nutshell in Seven Days, Unleashed

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: cmiller@trellis.net (Almerich)

On April 18 2003, Phinny <voicejail@NOSPAMNOSPAMyahoo.com> wrote:
> It was a bunch of FUCKING LAME-ASS LIMP-WRISTED PANTY-WAISTED SOFT,
> MIDDLE-AGED, MIDDLE-CLASS WIMPY **NEW FUCKING AGERS** is what it was

Of course they are. They're all a bunch of
crystal-loving-sweetness-and-lighters. When I once had an ear-ache one
of them actually told me to STICK A CRYSTAL IN MY EAR!!! I said, "Yeah,
and what about YOUR FUCKING HEMORRHOIDS!?"

NEW AGE IS OLD NEWS!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: rev dode <dode(pee)@tystie.com>

Phinny wrote:

> I've been having some psychic experiences in terms of the war and
> having visions that really seemed to come true. Okay spooky stuff,

<snipped>

>
> They kick me out as some kind of NUTCASE KOOK WHACKO FREAK!!
>

Phineas, this may not be news to you but go here -

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/horizon/2003/godonbrain.shtml

This was a moderately interesting programs that skimmed over some
interesting possibilities maybe interesting to follow up. It also feature
my favourite MAD looking guy Prof Vilayanur Ramachandran and that polite
rent a god and Darwinian zealot Prof Richard Dawkins.

Dode


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