POPE "O.J"'S FIRST NATIONAL STATE OF THE NATION ADDRESS.

From: POPE 'O.J' Obi Juan Kennedy III

DEAR READERS OF EARTH.

I am POPE "O.J". My aim is to give you something you
already have. Something you've,.. MISPLACED,... shall we
say, ..and friends,....YES,.... it is the one thing,
THE one thing ....YOU,..... could never find on your own!,

Why not?

BECAUSE MOST OF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT IS YOU DON'T
HAVE. WHY DON'T YOU KNOW?, .....BECAUSE THEY HAVE MADE
YOU FORGET EVERYTHING you have ever known that doesn't fit to
THEIR plan of how YOU should live your life, THEIR plan of
how YOU should think, THEIR plan of where YOU should go on
holiday, THEIR plan of how you should dress, THEIR plan of
everything.

THIS IS the way they control you, this is the way they make
you do what they want you to do, YOU are made to believe that
the choices you make, and the actions you take, are your
own, this is the way of the CONTROLLERS.

THIS IS THE WAY YOU ARE BEING CONTROLLED!

The reason I am telling you this is for your own good, what
good does it do me? I already know what you are about to
find out, I have seen it for myself, and it is this that
makes me want to show you how good life can be.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, you can change the way you
are, you can be all the things you are not, you do not have
to struggle and toil to live a good life, the planet upon
which we live is a fruitful place when left to her own
natural devices.

YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE!

We are here to give you that chance of turning your life into
the fun park ride you dreamed of ALL THOSE YEARS AGO,

It could be the return of giant candyfloss balls as large as
your head . It could be a day by the sea. It could be the
box of chocolate you were given for your seventh birthday.
It could be all these things and more. What was it that made
childhood so much fun? Where is it now? WHERE WAS IT THEN?

The thing that made life so good when you were a child is the
same thing you don't have now. What you must do is remember
who you were when you were a child, regress to that past
incarnation,see the things around you as they were, see what
is different,try to find what you are looking for. For many
of you this will be a fruitless exercise,the conditioning of
the controllers will still be too strong for you to overcome
alone.

They have the ability to cloud your mind with the price of
washing powder, the calorie content of fish fingers,the
mortgage rates,the instability of some third world military
junta , all these things are put in front of the truly
important matters in life, purposefully ,to detract you from
the real issues that concern the way you live your life now
and in the future, you must learn to see through the
consciousness clouds of the con, that is the key, but not the
answer!

Think of the words left to us by our great leader J.R "BOB"
DOBBS, TOO MUCH IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN NOT ENOUGH. He was of
course referring to Slack, THE ANSWER IS SLACK !!. the one
thing no Subgenius can be without

[UNLIKE ALL THE SHIT YOU CAN DO WITHOUT FROM THE PINK BOYS
AND GOVERNMENTALISTS.]

Believe me brothers and sinisters, there is a lack of slack.
The controllers have taken it, it's our duty is to steal it
back.

It's been taken by the men in black who want to keep it in
their sack.

SLACK is the answer to all the things in life you could
possibly dream of, Slack gives us the time we need, Slack
gives us spare money to drink the devine liquor of visions,
Slack is the commodity which gives you an extra week in bed
with the haddock or nut of your choice,the fact is without
Slack you are the robotic glove puppet of the system who
stole your Slack in the first place, these are the ones who
gave you Terry Wogan three nights per week, THEN REPEATED IT
in an omnibus edition on Sunday afternoons, when they could
have shown one of those great films in which John Wayne kills
Gooks in the Florida Quays from the top of a Well's Fargo
stage coach full of Injuns, being driven at high speed by the
blonde bitch with the big titties out of Baywatch.

Remember people of "BOB", our prime objective is the gaining
of Slack, we must have Slack, as the Thelemite needs his
whore, the Subgenius needs Slack to give him the edge over
the Adversarians.

DEMAND YOUR RITE TO BE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE!

BE WHAT YOU WON'T!

Be so fucking weird you'd never even get on channel 4, be
even weirder than those weird things on breakfast t.v., be
even more offensive than those COOL, TRENDY , JERK OFF
TEENAGERS WHO PRESENT THE ACNE RIDDEN TEENYVISION PROGRAMMES,
do they really hang out with JANET STREET- PORTER ? AND IF
SO WHY ? Who wants to go anywhere where Janet
Street-porters' pstenche could be lingering around the rim,
or under the seat .

Hell, that's another point, public facilities.

WHAT happened to the good old sub-terrainian, fully tiled
public lavatories we had, or rather they gave us in order to
stop us pissing in the street, as was the custom many moons
ago, yes you guessed it, they filled them in when they
invented the pay as you go Techno-pisspot. Fully automated,
self cleaning with stainless steel surrounds to everything,
the only problem is, 50% of people don't know what the hell
they are, whilst the other 50% piss their pants 'cos the
fuckin' thing won't accept anything smaller than a fifty
pound note.

THESE ARE THE THINGS THEY DO TO TAKE YOUR SLACK. If that
isn't blatant violation of your SLACK what the hell is?.
Until you wake up they will just keep doing this to you. YOU
will be the undead victim of the conspiracy vampire. THEY
will drain your SLACK until you can no longer fight them off,
but like the Transylvanian Count they will not kill you and
put you out of your misery, HELL NO, that would be too much
like giving you some slack back, which would be almost as bad
to them as not taking your slack in the first place. No, their
plan is to keep you alive as long as possible to ensure their
slack supply is abundant and accessable at all times .

UNLESS YOU ALLOW "BOB" TO HELP YOU FIND THE THING IN LIFE
THAT GIVES YOU THE SLACK YOU NEED YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE THE
CLUTCHES OF THE EVIL SPACEBANKERS .

They WILL take everything from you. They WILL claim that you
should be grateful for having the opportunity to be in such a
position.

....................................................BULLSHIT!

THEY ARE SYSTEMATICALLY STRIPING US OF THE THINGS WE NEED TO
BE REAL PEOPLE

What about the way everything costs more every year ?

WHAT ABOUT THE CHRISTIAN INFLATION FESTIVAL EVERY YEAR? AND
THEY ALWAYS DO IT JUST BEFORE YULETIDE, THE ANCIENT PAGAN
FESTIVAL OF LIGHT, MERRIMENT, INDULGENCE AND SLEEPING OFF THE
EFFECT OF THE LIQUOR OF VISIONS, WHICH I MIGHT ADD IS GETTING
EVEN MORE EXPENSIVE (BUT NOT AS EXPENSIVE AS THE LICKER OF
VISIONARIES). THIS ALL LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THAT NOT ONLY
WHEN THOSE LATIN BASTARDS STOLE ALL OUR DAYS OF THE GODDESS
AND TURNED THEM INTO DAZE OF REVERENCE FOR THE SPACEBANKERS,
THEY ALSO HAD THE PLAN TO ERADICATE ALL NON-CONFORMISTS EVEN
THEN BY REMOVING THE GIANT SLACK GENERATOR WHICH SAT UPON
STONEHENGE LIKE A GIANT EGG CRADLED IN A MAGNIFICENT WELSH
STONE EGG CUP .

IT WASN'T ME IT WAS "BOB" !

NO NOT I FOR I AM ONLY THE SOLID STATE TRANSISTORISED LOUD
HAILER OF "BOB", THE WORDS WHICH SPEW TORRENTIALY FROM MY
MOUTH ORGAN ARE MESSAGES, IMPLANTED BY "BOB" HIMSELF. YES MY
CONGREGATION , I FEEL THE TONGUE OF THE EPOPT RANTING AND
RAMPAGING THROUGH ME WITH THE FORCE OF A SPEEDING FREIGHT
TRAIN.

You may think you're all alone, but "BOB" is here, he is with
us all he is all things, yes "BOB" is the floor we stand upon,
"BOB" is the girl you pass on the bus everyday, "BOB" is
the bus, "BOB" is the dandelion, "BOB" is the paraquat,
"BOB" is the haddock, "BOB" is the nut.

See! the things I am telling you are true. The words you
are hearing are the words of a thousand generations brought
to you through the power of the church of Dobbsian
evilangelistics of great britain the new exiting church for
the end of the MILLENNIUM.

More than a Church, a Family. A loving family of like
minded free thinkers who have cast of the coils of the snake
godaliens, and liberated THEMSELVES from the bondage of the
babylonian sexdevil.

THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT HAVE FAITH IN "BOB"... LET ME TELL
YOU OF THE PATH TO SLACK. THIS PATH IS CONCISE AND TO THE
POINT. IT WILL HELP YOU FIND THE THINGS OF WHICH THE VOICE
OF DOBBS SPEAKS, IF ANY OF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BECOME DUES
PAYING MEMBERS OF THIS RAPIDLY GROWING ORGANISATION.

A FULLY INCLUSIVE MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION TELLING YOU HOW TO
APPLY TO THE CLENCH WILL BE AVAILABLE AS SOON AS WE GET A
P.O.NUMBER, THE STARTER PACK TO "BOB" WILL BE IN THE FISCAL
REGION OF $30.

THE REST OF YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT ONLY PAID UP MEMBERS WILL BE
GUARANTEED PASSAGE ABOARD THE GIANT SHIPS OF THE ALIEN
LIBERATORS COME X-DAY. THE WAY I SEE IT IS YOU'LL NEVER GET
TO ZION WITHOUT "BOB"'S HELP SO STOP YOUR BLEATING ON AND PAY
THE FUCKIN' MONEY OR YOU'RE PINK AND YOU'RE STAYING.
THERE'LL BE NO SNEAKING ABOARD.

"BOB" CAN PSTENCHE A PINK AT FIVE MILES AND THE SECRET WEAPON
OF THE SUBGENIUS WILL BE UNLEASHED WITH YOUR SCENT IN IT'S
NOSTRILS IF YOU COULD CALL THEM NOSTRILS. NO MATTER WHAT
THEY ARE, IT WILL FIND YOU, IT WILL KILL YOU VICIOUSLY, BUT
THIS WILL BE MERCIFUL COMPARED TO WHAT COULD HAPPEN.

DO WHAT MUST BE DONE!!

THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT YOU MUST NOW SEEK "BOB"!!

FROM:- POPE "O.J" s forthcoming BESTSELLER,

THE BOOK OF DELIVERIES.

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Original file name: Random Rant.txt.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:47