Re: SOLARA'S SURF REPORT FOR NOVEMBER 2002

From: talysman <talysman@globalsurrealism.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Mon, Nov 4, 2002 9:29 PM

jlwn111@att.net (I AM J'lahn.) writes:

> SOLARA'S SURF REPORT FOR NOVEMBER 2002

THE CHURCH OF THE SUNGENIUS MUST HAVE SHINE!!!!

[ originally posted as MessageID: <L11A2UMJhdmc092yn@my-dejanews.com> ]

RELAX!
CATCH SOME RAYS!
- SHINE ON !

The Beach Opens Tomorrow
and YOU
MAY SURF!

Are we controlled by TUBULAR URGES?

Are Alien Space Dudes bringing TOTALLY BITCHIN' WAVES?

Do people think you're LAID BACK? DO YOU?
~~~
+ IF you are what they call "gnarly" --
+ IF you think we're entering a TOTALLY RAD ERA --
+ IF you see the universe as one vast endless party --
+ IF you think uptight society is inherently bogus and
just wish people would be totally excellent to each other --
+ IF you can help us with our suntan lotion --

Then

The Church of the
TM
SunGenius
could save your tan!

"Party on, dudes!" -- Keanu Reeves

The Church of the SunGenius(TM) is a loose confederation of slackers,
party-animals, beachbums, sunworshippers, and hot-tubbers devoted to
seeking the perfect tan and acquiring that mystical quantity known as
SHINE. Shine is TOTALLY unlike anything else in your experience,
dude! it's like what you feel when you're kickin' back on the beach
on like the fourth day of a three-day weekend with no end in sight,
with your Ray-Bans perched on your nose just low enough so you can
check out the totally righteous babes playing in the surf while the
Ventures play on the radio...

You can't buy Shine, and no one can give it to you -- it comes totally
crashing down on you and sweeps you away, but in a *good* way -- and
it can do it at any moment! So the true job of any SunGenius is to
KICK BACK and RELAX so that you can be totally ready for those stray
moments of Shine that creep up on you!

The REAL TRUTH about the SunGenius has been hinted at over the years,
but was never FULLY REVEALED until Keanu Reeves starred in two movies:
BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE and BILL AND TED'S BOGUS JOURNEY.
These two movies are totally k-rad and reveal the two fundamental
truths of the SunGenius:

1. Party on, Dudes!
2. Be Excellent to each other!

ONLY by becoming a TOTALLY RIGHTEOUS DUDE and living in accord with
the teachings of Keanu Reeves can one become a true SunGenius and get
that bitchin' tan instead of being ... PINK!

Join the Church of the SunGenius(TM) today!

THE SUNGENIUS MUST HAVE SHINE!

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Original file name: SubGenius Surf Rant.txt.txt - converted on Monday, 21 July 2003, 13:47