Subject: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II

From: glassgnost <dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Sep 11, 2002 2:57 AM
Message-ID: <3D7EE848.5090703@socal.rr.com>

I woke the Beast and made her *my* Bitch.

The Path was perilous, and could well have destroyed me, but I made it
happen. I'd go into the salacious details, that seems ill-dignified. I can
think of no faster way to turn a loving, contented lady back into a Stone
Bitch. And I learn from my Teachers. I've no desire to Piss in the Pool,
and am aware of the Secret of Steel. Such things seem Ill-Dignified, and
I'm in no hurry to degade the Raw Power - so there's no signifiacant
Kiss'n'Tell that gonna happen here. Some things must remain an intimate
secret between a Man and his Lover.

Some things I will divulge which I don't believe that she'd mind:

She's a *very* kinky girl. Let's just say that a certain "magic wand" came
into play at the crucial moment.

And she swallows. Bigtime. I think she's gone without for a *very* long
time. But here she seems to be having a Problem. My perception is that she
took more than she could handle. I've been given plenty to share. And when
it swells and amplifies, she'll be having a problem. Like feeding
Alka-Seltzer to pigions. Da Love Bomb has been Dropped.

I *am* Bob. I couldn't whup it and and went *down*. I died the "Little
Death" It was an orgasmic free-for-all. She's happy and satiated. She
Sings and give me Gifts.

Kill me or not, Love will never die in *our* house. Nothing can change
that, and I'll drop the Hammer and pump a Hot Load in the mouth of anyone
else who tries in a disrespectful manner. If my Mistress allows them to
even approach my door...

I *know* I can take the Heat.

So, Stang - have you been keeping those $30 checks in a trust account for
me? A cashier's check for the total would be acceptable. You have my
address on file.

--
Mystical Reverend Doktor glassgnost, Minister of Unnatural Selection
-- dlindner (at) socal (dot) rr (dot) com --
Eternal Salvation or Triple Your Money Back!
http://www.subgenius.com ...or kill me!

Is this an out-take from the "BRADY BUNCH"?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 12, 2002 1:58 PM
Message-ID: <120920021359152179%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3D7EE848.5090703@socal.rr.com>, glassgnost
<dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com> wrote:

of his great joy resulting from some round of activities that included
a blow job!

>
> So, Stang - have you been keeping those $30 checks in a trust account for
> me? A cashier's check for the total would be acceptable. You have my
> address on file.

That must have been SOME sexhurt! I don't usually keep thinking I'm
"Bob" for more than a few seconds after an Ultimate Squirt. I think
that's probably the way most guys are.

You better bird-dog that stuff -- don't let that beatnik named Rev.
Chris Lee get anywhere NEAR it.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
P.O. Box 181417, Cleveland, OH 44118 (fax 216-320-9528)
A subsidiary of:
The SubGenius Foundation, Inc. / P.O. Box 204206, Austin, TX 78720-4206
Dobbs-Approved Authorized Commercial Outreach of The Church of the SubGenius
SubSITE: http://www.subgenius.com
For SubGenius Biz & Orders: call toll free to 1-888-669-2323
or email: jesus@subgenius.com
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 12, 2002 5:52 PM
Message-ID: <120920021753366910%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3D80FC08.8060208@socal.rr.com>, glassgnost
<dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com> wrote:

> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> > You better bird-dog that stuff -- don't let that beatnik named Rev.
> > Chris Lee get anywhere NEAR it.
>
> I did a quick lookup on your Chris/Philo thang, and IMO, your problem was
> this:
>
> You got bent out of shape about it.
>
> People will flirt. Accept it. I even told my wife *years* ago that if she
> ever had the opportunity to boink her fave TV/Movie Star - Go For It! I
> love her enough that I would not deny her the chance to live out a
> fantasy, and I know that at the end of the day, she's coming home with me.

"Quick" is right.

Before you go any further, remember the motto of this Church, the
nature of the newsgroup you are in, the reputation for literal
truthfulness on the part of yours truly while ranting, the
classification on the back cover of The Book of the SubGenius, and that
you might have missed certain key parts of a build-up.

You GOT-DAMN RIGHT I was bent out of shape! That no-account hound dog
good for nothin CHRIS LEE thought he was gonna SHURDURPERSAV MY
PRINCESS WEI, most beautiful creature since God started making fine
bitches and righteous hos, and then went on to BRAG about it to ME,
KING STANG!!!

Or --

Man, you need to turn on your Put-On Detector Glasses and your
Dolemite-Brag Rip-Off Excuse Chart.

There are these things called "running jokes," "office humor," "snipe
hunts," "hoaxes," and "SubGenius Bullshit," none of which are to be
taken seriously except by the new kid in the mail room who hasn't clued
in yet what a bunch of truly INSANE cut-ups the old farts really are.

If my good friend and colleague Rev. Chris Lee really DID ever so much
as seriously LEER at Princess Wei, it would not be the Rudy Ray Moore
Cover Brag you'd hear emiting from me, it would be my good friend Chris
Lee's actual screams as I removed his eyes with corkscrews. Actually,
let me correct that -- I would slowly remove the right eye, first,
using pliars, not a corkscrew, so it could still SEE, and would be
careful to keep the optic nerve unsevered as I slowly brought the
eyeball around the bridge of his nose and pointed it at his LEFT eye so
that he could take a GOOD LOOK AT HIMSELF before I showed him SUBGENIUS
STREET JUSTICE, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS STYLE!!

And Princess Wei would henceforth be behind a LONG BLACK VEIL, TEN
STEPS BEHIND ME AT ALL TIMES, when not SEQUESTERED in a convent like
tower surrounded by 10 eunuch guards, and NO LESBIAN CONNIETITES
NEITHER!!

Your "free love" swinging doctrine is certainly perfectly okay by ALL
SUBGENIUS LAWS and is even absolutely fine by me, in fact I wouldn't
be much of a Sacred Scribe if I told some other SubGenius what he could
or couldn't do WITH SOMEBODY ELSE BESIDES MY WIFE!!!

But my own personal interpretation of Dobbs' teachings is that I will
BIRD DOG that FINE FINE STUFF that the rabble know as Her Highness,
Princess Wei R. Doe, Queen of ALL the UFOs. I will baby her and put her
on a pedastal and spoil her to the absolute best of my abilities! I
will keep her so entertained by my antics, backrubs, gifts, small
courtesies, and endless flattery and complements that she will never
get the CHANCE to have her attention DIVERTED FOR EVEN AN INSTANT to
any other SubGenius, Pink or Mongreloid. I am BIRD-DOGGING, THAT STUFF!

And here's why.

Because I am NO FOOL.

Also because I am no fool, I would never DARE to even so much as YEARN
to WONDER if I COULD someday THINK of winking lasciviously at ANY TRUE
YETI MATE or even SORDID PINK DATE of that ADMIRABLE HOUND DOG, REV.
CHRIS LEE!! Because he would surely KICK MY ROYAL HINEY. And because I
have Princess Wei to wink lasciviously at to begin with.

There was a time when I said "Fuck Crazy Women" and thought that was a
cute motto, not that I even got to practice it to speak of, but I have
renounced it because it's really stupid.

I hate to pop the beach ball, but the whole thing was Chris's way of
going "Congratulations on marrying the babe, you lucky dog," and
expressing his admiration for her, and it was my way of saying, "Thanks
Chris Lee for all the cool shit you have done with Quijibo, the Quijibo
Lounge, the Indivival, your dryly hilarious jibes on the Internet and
your excellent brews! And the bootleg recordings too! And for roping in
all your cool buddies!" I just have kind of an eccentric way of saying
it, that's all. I don't write epic poems about every "Bob", Nick and
Gary.

The epic poem also was punchlined with a big nod to the Slack Supremacy
of Dr. Philo Drummond, my mentor in Rewardianism.

Both times that I recited this ridiculous buffoonery in public, Chris
and Wei sat RIGHT UNDER THE PULPIT, "NECKING!" Now tell me I'm all
insecure and bent out of shape.

But maybe you were just putting me on to begin with, and you GOT me!
Touche!
***

A Memory Refresher for those who missed it and give a shit:

The Tale of Good King Stang and Chris Lee
by Rev. Ivan Stang

I shall tell you the story of the Good King Stang
Whose queen was renknowned as the FINEST poontang.

Acrost all the land, for 10 THOUSAND miles around,
None matched the beauty of the babe with the crown.

Among those who admired the bounteous Princess Wei
Was one low life bastard they called Chris Lee.

Chris Lee thought to diddle the thang
That he knew good and well belonged to King Stang.

Now we've seen fuckheads, assholes, shitheads and turds
Geeks, glorps ninnies and nerds.
But the sorriest morphodite you ever did see
Was that Jive Ass Beatnik they called Rev. Chriss Lee.

Chris Lee saw his chance at the X-Day Drills
While the King's brain was muddled on potions and Pils.

Now, MOST faithful Bobbies, Stang was loathe to disparage
But That skunk married Wei in the Short Duration Marriage.

This brash move so raised King Stang's ire
The he resolved to have Lee punished by torture and fire.

First he'd have Lee tied to a Siguaro Cactus stake
Then in a GIANT MICROWAVE OVEN Chris Lee's ass he would bake.

In Lee's rump, Stang would roast a corn on the cob.
He'd serve some to NHGH... but he'd butter some for "Bob."

But even at the trial, Chris Lee showed such sass
That he coarsely winked at Wei as if to make a vulgar pass.

Seeing this made Stang so furiously mad,
It almost blew out the One Royal Nad.

And all the kingdom heard Stang yell,
"That Chris Lee will PAY or SHUT UP LIKE HELL.

His LILLY WHITE ASS I will CHURN LIKE BUTTER
Until a polite apology I do hear him utter.

So untie his feet and untie his hand.
'Cause I'm gonna whip this motherfucker MAN to MAN."

They fought like devils and not like men.
They gouged and they kicked and they bit, but then

Something dreadful happened before the battle was done,
that left all the kingdom and even King Stang stunned.

For, while they'd fought each other, into the setting sun,
That fine Princess Wei, OFF with DOCTOR PHILO DRUMMOND, had RUN.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: The Tale of Good King Stang and Chris Lee
From: Legume <none@yerbiz.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 24, 2002 12:09 PM
Message-ID: <Xns91FA7BBE7E962CortezLegume18465086@216.166.71.239>

Christopher Lee wrote:

> Something dreadful happened before the battle was done,
> that left all the kingdom and even King Stang stunned.
>
> For, while they'd fought each other, into the setting sun,
> That fine Princess Wei, OFF with DOCTOR PHILO DRUMMOND, had RUN.

But old Philo Drummond, his bladder was weak
And Legume stole his Princess while he took a leak
Legume knew what to do, he got down on his knees
and ate up her pussy like rat eating cheese
She kicked and she thrashed like a beheaded chicken
she moaned and she groaned and got stoned from the lickin'

While you lame motherfuckers sat pulling yer puds
Legume turned her over and stirred up the mud
The Princess she smiled as he greased her with Vaseline
And she got as hot as a match thrown in gasoline
And the Princess said "FUCK all those SubGenius rat-pooters"
"Dr.Legume holds the keys to the cooter"

And as they left on the saucers they laughed at the rest of you
Dr.Legume was ALWAYS the best of you
He aimed his Death Ray at Earth and said, "Die, you weiners"
And the last sound you heard was "Neener neener neener!"

--
Legume
----------
Me TOOL USER! FIVE-FINGER-MAN! Make weapons! Sharp arrow heads! Strong
bow! Trade to beady-eyed hunter types! Chase wives while hunter-types
gone! Make pictures on cave wall, say magic words while wearing scary
bear skull, keep whole tribe guessing!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: The Tale of Good King Stang and Chris Lee
From: "Two Beans" <twobeans@godhatesyou.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Wed, Apr 24, 2002 4:32 PM
Message-ID: <jDEx8.162674$3L2.14368664@bin7.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com>

"Legume" <none@yerbiz.com> wrote in message
news:Xns91FA7BBE7E962CortezLegume18465086@216.166.71.239...
>
>
> And as they left on the saucers they laughed at the rest of you
> Dr.Legume was ALWAYS the best of you
> He aimed his Death Ray at Earth and said, "Die, you weiners"
> And the last sound you heard was "Neener neener neener!"
>

And as his greasy finger loomed over the button,
Legume did realize that he could do thithin'.
For he punked out from a challenge layed on alt.slack,
He wanted to save his fifty bucks and his ass.

Dr. K'taden was scared and this he did know,
because Two Beans would make him tap out from Brushwood to that Jupiter
moon
named Io.
"Crossface Chickenwing" the words filled him with dread,
Sir Minister Sinister would do what God couldn't.....make Legume dead.

And in that moment where Legume foolishly paused in his attempt to bring
Ragnarok,
he helt his limb twisted behind his back in a unbreakable hammerlock.
Two Beans snuck on board 'Goome's hooptie saucer,
nothing could save Legume...not even his pump-action Mosburg.

2B synched up the submission hold and Legume was powerless to resist,
he squirmed and he cried like a good little bitch.
That out of shape fat fuck raised his free hand despite the pain of the
gout,
and just like everyone predicted.....Legume tapped out!

The Reverend Doktor Bishop Two Beans,
Pope of the East Bay,
Sir Minister Sinister
Master of the Crossface Chickenwing

http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/twobeans
http://www.eyeofthewarp.com/nhgh
http://mp3.com/twobeans

"There, the spark leaps to life. The Golden Age quivers on the brink of
creation. Live, my machine! Live my savior! You have my breath... You
have
my dream, my dream."
-The Residents, "Failure / Reconstruction" from the album Mark of the
Mole

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: nucleus@invalid.you.are (nucleus)
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 12, 2002 6:06 PM
Message-ID: <alr31m$vdg$6@news.ukr.net>

In article <120920021753366910%stang@subgenius.com>, "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
>In article <3D80FC08.8060208@socal.rr.com>, glassgnost
><dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com> wrote:
>
>> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>>
>> > You better bird-dog that stuff -- don't let that beatnik named Rev.
>> > Chris Lee get anywhere NEAR it.
>>
>> I did a quick lookup on your Chris/Philo thang, and IMO, your problem was
>> this:
>>
>> You got bent out of shape about it.
>>
>> People will flirt. Accept it. I even told my wife *years* ago that if she
>> ever had the opportunity to boink her fave TV/Movie Star - Go For It! I
>> love her enough that I would not deny her the chance to live out a
>> fantasy, and I know that at the end of the day, she's coming home with me.
>
>"Quick" is right.
>
>Before you go any further, remember the motto of this Church, the
>nature of the newsgroup you are in, the reputation for literal
>truthfulness on the part of yours truly while ranting, the
>classification on the back cover of The Book of the SubGenius, and that
>you might have missed certain key parts of a build-up.
>
>You GOT-DAMN RIGHT I was bent out of shape! That no-account hound dog
>good for nothin CHRIS LEE thought he was gonna SHURDURPERSAV MY
>PRINCESS WEI, most beautiful creature since God started making fine
>bitches and righteous hos, and then went on to BRAG about it to ME,
>KING STANG!!!

What a suckass.

One more time, you complex of inferiority driven
idiot:

You are but a slime, sucking ass of dead elefants,
having NOTHING to contribute to anything of significance.

ALL you are craving for is power, control and domination.

>Or --
>
>Man, you need to turn on your Put-On Detector Glasses and your
>Dolemite-Brag Rip-Off Excuse Chart.

The LOWEST grade shit there is,
there was,
or there can EVER be,
even in principle.

The slimiest shit imaginable.

My cockroaches said:

"Screw this suckazoid,
We've been puking for so long,
looking at his shit,
please have mercy on us,
do not look at it any more.
Otherwise, we'll commit a global suicide
and all your leftovers will turn into
deadliest bacterias there are."

>There are these things called "running jokes," "office humor," "snipe
>hunts," "hoaxes," and "SubGenius Bullshit," none of which are to be
>taken seriously

Zig heil!

>except by the new kid in the mail room who hasn't clued
>in yet what a bunch of truly INSANE cut-ups the old farts really are.

Sucking good.

>If my good friend and colleague Rev. Chris Lee really DID ever so much
>as seriously LEER at Princess Wei,

What a dumbass.

> it would not be the Rudy Ray Moore
>Cover Brag you'd hear emiting from me,

A pile of goubledy gook.

What are you trying to do here?

To make the biggest red ass
there is,
there was
or there can EVER be
out of yourself?

Well....

Sorry to tell you.
You ALREADY are.

>it would be my good friend Chris
>Lee's actual screams as I removed his eyes with corkscrews. Actually,
>let me correct that -- I would slowly remove the right eye, first,
>using pliars, not a corkscrew, so it could still SEE, and would be
>careful to keep the optic nerve unsevered as I slowly brought the
>eyeball around the bridge of his nose and pointed it at his LEFT eye so
>that he could take a GOOD LOOK AT HIMSELF before I showed him SUBGENIUS
>STREET JUSTICE, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS STYLE!!
>
>And Princess Wei would henceforth be behind a LONG BLACK VEIL, TEN
>STEPS BEHIND ME AT ALL TIMES, when not SEQUESTERED in a convent like
>tower surrounded by 10 eunuch guards, and NO LESBIAN CONNIETITES
>NEITHER!!
>
>Your "free love" swinging doctrine is certainly perfectly okay by ALL
>SUBGENIUS LAWS and is even absolutely fine by me, in fact I wouldn't
>be much of a Sacred Scribe if I told some other SubGenius what he could
>or couldn't do WITH SOMEBODY ELSE BESIDES MY WIFE!!!
>
>But my own personal interpretation of Dobbs' teachings is that I will
>BIRD DOG that FINE FINE STUFF that the rabble know as Her Highness,
>Princess Wei R. Doe, Queen of ALL the UFOs. I will baby her and put her
>on a pedastal and spoil her to the absolute best of my abilities! I
>will keep her so entertained by my antics, backrubs, gifts, small
>courtesies, and endless flattery and complements that she will never
>get the CHANCE to have her attention DIVERTED FOR EVEN AN INSTANT to
>any other SubGenius, Pink or Mongreloid. I am BIRD-DOGGING, THAT STUFF!
>
>And here's why.
>
>Because I am NO FOOL.
>
>Also because I am no fool, I would never DARE to even so much as YEARN
>to WONDER if I COULD someday THINK of winking lasciviously at ANY TRUE
>YETI MATE or even SORDID PINK DATE of that ADMIRABLE HOUND DOG, REV.
>CHRIS LEE!! Because he would surely KICK MY ROYAL HINEY. And because I
>have Princess Wei to wink lasciviously at to begin with.
>
>There was a time when I said "Fuck Crazy Women" and thought that was a
>cute motto, not that I even got to practice it to speak of, but I have
>renounced it because it's really stupid.
>
>I hate to pop the beach ball, but the whole thing was Chris's way of
>going "Congratulations on marrying the babe, you lucky dog," and
>expressing his admiration for her, and it was my way of saying, "Thanks
>Chris Lee for all the cool shit you have done with Quijibo, the Quijibo
>Lounge, the Indivival, your dryly hilarious jibes on the Internet and
>your excellent brews! And the bootleg recordings too! And for roping in
>all your cool buddies!" I just have kind of an eccentric way of saying
>it, that's all. I don't write epic poems about every "Bob", Nick and
>Gary.
>
>The epic poem also was punchlined with a big nod to the Slack Supremacy
>of Dr. Philo Drummond, my mentor in Rewardianism.
>
>Both times that I recited this ridiculous buffoonery in public, Chris
>and Wei sat RIGHT UNDER THE PULPIT, "NECKING!" Now tell me I'm all
>insecure and bent out of shape.
>
>But maybe you were just putting me on to begin with, and you GOT me!
>Touche!
>***
>
>A Memory Refresher for those who missed it and give a shit:
>
>The Tale of Good King Stang and Chris Lee
>by Rev. Ivan Stang

You are no king of ANY kind,
but the king of suckazoids,
and even that much is a compliment.

You are but a lil power hungry megalomaniac,
driven by the complex of inferiority.

You are but a sicko.

>I shall tell you the story of the Good King Stang
>Whose queen was renknowned as the FINEST poontang.
>
>Acrost all the land, for 10 THOUSAND miles around,
>None matched the beauty of the babe with the crown.
>
>Among those who admired the bounteous Princess Wei
>Was one low life bastard they called Chris Lee.
>
>Chris Lee thought to diddle the thang
>That he knew good and well belonged to King Stang.
>
>Now we've seen fuckheads, assholes, shitheads and turds
>Geeks, glorps ninnies and nerds.
>But the sorriest morphodite you ever did see
>Was that Jive Ass Beatnik they called Rev. Chriss Lee.
>
>Chris Lee saw his chance at the X-Day Drills
>While the King's brain was muddled on potions and Pils.
>
>Now, MOST faithful Bobbies, Stang was loathe to disparage
>But That skunk married Wei in the Short Duration Marriage.
>
>This brash move so raised King Stang's ire
>The he resolved to have Lee punished by torture and fire.
>
>First he'd have Lee tied to a Siguaro Cactus stake
>Then in a GIANT MICROWAVE OVEN Chris Lee's ass he would bake.
>
>In Lee's rump, Stang would roast a corn on the cob.
>He'd serve some to NHGH... but he'd butter some for "Bob."
>
>But even at the trial, Chris Lee showed such sass
>That he coarsely winked at Wei as if to make a vulgar pass.
>
>Seeing this made Stang so furiously mad,
>It almost blew out the One Royal Nad.
>
>And all the kingdom heard Stang yell,
>"That Chris Lee will PAY or SHUT UP LIKE HELL.
>
>His LILLY WHITE ASS I will CHURN LIKE BUTTER
>Until a polite apology I do hear him utter.
>
>So untie his feet and untie his hand.
>'Cause I'm gonna whip this motherfucker MAN to MAN."
>
>They fought like devils and not like men.
>They gouged and they kicked and they bit, but then
>
>Something dreadful happened before the battle was done,
>that left all the kingdom and even King Stang stunned.
>
>For, while they'd fought each other, into the setting sun,
>That fine Princess Wei, OFF with DOCTOR PHILO DRUMMOND, had RUN.

Maaan.

This shit is simply sick.

>----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Subject: Re: The Tale of Good King Stang and Chris Lee
>From: Legume <none@yerbiz.com>
>Newsgroups: alt.slack
>Date: Wed, Apr 24, 2002 12:09 PM
>Message-ID: <Xns91FA7BBE7E962CortezLegume18465086@216.166.71.239>
>
>Christopher Lee wrote:
>
>> Something dreadful happened before the battle was done,
>> that left all the kingdom and even King Stang stunned.
>>
>> For, while they'd fought each other, into the setting sun,
>> That fine Princess Wei, OFF with DOCTOR PHILO DRUMMOND, had RUN.
>
>But old Philo Drummond, his bladder was weak
>And Legume stole his Princess while he took a leak
>Legume knew what to do, he got down on his knees
>and ate up her pussy like rat eating cheese
>She kicked and she thrashed like a beheaded chicken
>she moaned and she groaned and got stoned from the lickin'
>
>While you lame motherfuckers sat pulling yer puds
>Legume turned her over and stirred up the mud
>The Princess she smiled as he greased her with Vaseline
>And she got as hot as a match thrown in gasoline
>And the Princess said "FUCK all those SubGenius rat-pooters"
>"Dr.Legume holds the keys to the cooter"
>
>And as they left on the saucers they laughed at the rest of you
>Dr.Legume was ALWAYS the best of you
>He aimed his Death Ray at Earth and said, "Die, you weiners"
>And the last sound you heard was "Neener neener neener!"
>
>
>
>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: "purple" <purple@tellurian.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 12, 2002 8:10 PM
Message-ID: <b3ag9.261$kq.130921@news.uswest.net>

"glassgnost" wrote

> > You better bird-dog that stuff -- don't let that beatnik named Rev.
> > Chris Lee get anywhere NEAR it.
>
> I did a quick lookup on your Chris/Philo thang, and IMO, your problem
was
> this:
>
> You got bent out of shape about it.
>
> People will flirt. Accept it. I even told my wife *years* ago that if
she
> ever had the opportunity to boink her fave TV/Movie Star - Go For It!
I
> love her enough that I would not deny her the chance to live out a
> fantasy, and I know that at the end of the day, she's coming home with
me.

I'm glad that you feel that way, me and your old lady was worryin' about
how you were gonna take the news.

bob "I been fucking yer girlfriend" dean

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: "ICEKNIFE" <icNOekSPAMnife@lmi.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 12, 2002 9:24 PM
Message-ID: <17bg9.603850$m91.24474969@bin5.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com>

"librarian" <librarian@global.lib.reinforcement.authority> wrote in message
news:krouzm84i3.joys@pkoldy.gov...

> What are you trying to do here?
>
> To make the biggest red ass
> there is,
> there was
> or there can EVER be
> out of yourself?
>
> Well....
>
> Sorry to tell you.
> You ALREADY are.

so, I'm guessing we haven't met?

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Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: "ICEKNIFE" <icNOekSPAMnife@lmi.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 12, 2002 9:19 PM
Message-ID: <x2bg9.603774$m91.24471554@bin5.nnrp.aus1.giganews.com>

"glassgnost" <dlindnerSPAMBLOCKED@socal.rr.com> wrote in message
news:3D80FC08.8060208@socal.rr.com...
> Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
>
> > You better bird-dog that stuff -- don't let that beatnik named Rev.
> > Chris Lee get anywhere NEAR it.
>
> I did a quick lookup on your Chris/Philo thang, and IMO, your problem was
> this:
>
> You got bent out of shape about it.
>
> People will flirt. Accept it. I even told my wife *years* ago that if she
> ever had the opportunity to boink her fave TV/Movie Star - Go For It! I
> love her enough that I would not deny her the chance to live out a
> fantasy, and I know that at the end of the day, she's coming home with me.

You too, huh? Ok, so who was it an excuse for YOU to fuck, should the gates
of Hell turn to butter and repulicans stop molesting the inner child of the
body politic?

I tol' Her Maj she could jump n' bump her favorite star, because if the sky
fell and I somehow got a chance to roll in the hey hey hey with Joanna
Cassidy, I'd love Her Maj no less for it, and hope she'd opt for neither
leaving nor killing me with BIG ROCKS.

Ok, so I've a thing about Joanna Cassidy. So what. Got one about Tia
Carrera too. Wanna make something of it? *I'd* sure like to make something
of it, but hey, it ain't that kinda party.

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Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Sep 13, 2002 1:09 AM
Message-ID: <3D817316.5AB90B59@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
>
>
> If my good friend and colleague Rev. Chris Lee really DID ever so much
> as seriously LEER at Princess Wei, it would not be the Rudy Ray Moore
> Cover Brag you'd hear emiting from me, it would be my good friend Chris
> Lee's actual screams as I removed his eyes with corkscrews. Actually,
> let me correct that -- I would slowly remove the right eye, first,
> using pliars, not a corkscrew, so it could still SEE, and would be
> careful to keep the optic nerve unsevered as I slowly brought the
> eyeball around the bridge of his nose and pointed it at his LEFT eye so
> that he could take a GOOD LOOK AT HIMSELF before I showed him SUBGENIUS
> STREET JUSTICE, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS STYLE!!

I've been fucking her fucking skull's fucking EYE SOCKETS every
fucking night you fucking chicken neck hillbilly asshole. BUT I DO IT
WITHOUT LEERING.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Fri, Sep 13, 2002 3:08 AM
Message-ID: <130920020309008582%stang@subgenius.com>

In article <3D817316.5AB90B59@yahooX.com>, nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>
wrote:

> "Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> >
> >
> > If my good friend and colleague Rev. Chris Lee really DID ever so much
> > as seriously LEER at Princess Wei, it would not be the Rudy Ray Moore
> > Cover Brag you'd hear emiting from me, it would be my good friend Chris
> > Lee's actual screams as I removed his eyes with corkscrews. Actually,
> > let me correct that -- I would slowly remove the right eye, first,
> > using pliars, not a corkscrew, so it could still SEE, and would be
> > careful to keep the optic nerve unsevered as I slowly brought the
> > eyeball around the bridge of his nose and pointed it at his LEFT eye so
> > that he could take a GOOD LOOK AT HIMSELF before I showed him SUBGENIUS
> > STREET JUSTICE, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS STYLE!!
>
> I've been fucking her fucking skull's fucking EYE SOCKETS every
> fucking night you fucking chicken neck hillbilly asshole. BUT I DO IT
> WITHOUT LEERING.

I hope these kids learn from your example. Manners are sorely lacking
in modern society.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: Re: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II
From: Christopher Lee <clbundy@indy.net>
Newsgroups: alt.slack
Date: Thu, Sep 19, 2002 11:00 AM
Message-ID: <3D89E65B.157C6445@indy.net>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:

> If my good friend and colleague Rev. Chris Lee really DID ever so much
> as seriously LEER at Princess Wei, it would not be the Rudy Ray Moore
> Cover Brag you'd hear emiting from me, it would be my good friend Chris
> Lee's actual screams as I removed his eyes with corkscrews. Actually,
> let me correct that -- I would slowly remove the right eye, first,
> using pliars, not a corkscrew, so it could still SEE, and would be
> careful to keep the optic nerve unsevered as I slowly brought the
> eyeball around the bridge of his nose and pointed it at his LEFT eye so
> that he could take a GOOD LOOK AT HIMSELF before I showed him SUBGENIUS
> STREET JUSTICE, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS STYLE!!

This is hardcore. And I have learned my lesson. Yep. Never again will I ogle,
leer, stare, or pitch woo in the Princess's direction. Just not worth it.
Never gonna happen again. I swear. Yep, you're safe from me, ol pal. Nothing
to worry about. It's all cool. Yep.

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Original file name: Brag of the Yooper Yeti part II - converted on Friday, 16 May 2003, 16:50