Out of the Closet!

From: "Rev. Boblight" <blight@u.washington.edu>

My friends, it is time for me to clear my conscience.

I possess certain longings which I have kept hidden from you for quite
some time. I know in my heart that I was BORN with these feelings, and
that I can express them naturally without unhealthy consequences. Yet I
have been told over and over since joining the Church that these
feelings are wrong and can only lead to insanity, disaster, and
Pinkness. The same Church that claims to welcome ALL mutants, no matter
how deviant, sputters and chokes in HORROR at what I have done - and
will do again.

For you see, I am an anthrosexual. I am sexually attracted to humans.
I have sexual INTERCOURSE with humans, and I enjoy it.

I first did it as a 'kink' - as who has not? But, while most move on to
commune with their fellow Yeti, I found myself more and more obsessed
with the Pinks: their simplicity, their compliance, their lack of true
sexual organs. How to describe the sensations which accompany coitus
with the False Sentience of a human? I cannot. If you do not share my
feelings, then you will never understand.

Some of you might feel I am harming these humans, and that this is
somehow wrong. I actually treat them quite well, most of the time, but
of course that is not important - they lack the sensitivity to truly
suffer and only exhibit the symptoms of suffering. That is enough for
me.

Others might think I am perverted; that is, MORE perverted than they
are. This may be so, but if they think it is only because of what makes
my dick hard (and my colon moist, and my gills erect, and my infundibula
energized, etc.) then that makes them UNIMAGINATIVE PERVERTS unworthy of
their Yeti DNA.

My fellow anthrosexuals will be decloseted on July 5th, when our supply
will dry up instantly. Those of us with membership cards will of course
have our Pinkest fantasy boys and girls available on the saucers, but
those left behind will be in sorry shape indeed. Caveat coitor.

One final note: Those who mate successfully with a human, knowingly or
not, are twisted MONSTERS deserving only the fires of the X-Day ovens.
Their membership cards shall crumble to dust before their eyes.

- Rev. Boblight

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From: SubGeniusDallas@NO_SPAMhotmail.com (Ragin' Pope Angus)

In article <35207FDB.7B6E@u.washington.edu>, blight@u.washington.edu
belched forth and said...
> For you see, I am an anthrosexual. I am sexually attracted to humans.
> I have sexual INTERCOURSE with humans, and I enjoy it.

("Planet of the Apes" flashback)
NNOOOOOO!!! You finally went and did it!!!

Boblight does it with talking monkeys!

I thought I smelled omnivore when he walked past us at the Seattle
Devival.
--
Ragin' Pope Angus, XXIII
Our Lady of the Blessed Apocolypse
Research Institute of SexHurt

www.geocities.com/soho/studios/9407

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: cht@NOSPAMgis.net (Rev. Jihad Frenzy)

In article <MPG.f8a60d49ce26ce8989685@news.ld.centuryinter.net>,
SubGeniusDallas@NO_SPAMhotmail.com (Ragin' Pope Angus) wrote:

> In article <35207FDB.7B6E@u.washington.edu>, blight@u.washington.edu
> belched forth and said...
> > For you see, I am an anthrosexual. I am sexually attracted to humans.
> > I have sexual INTERCOURSE with humans, and I enjoy it.
>
> ("Planet of the Apes" flashback)
> NNOOOOOO!!! You finally went and did it!!!
>
> Boblight does it with talking monkeys!
>

Never fear, Boblight. You are not a pervert.

Depositing your DNA in a MereHuman is not REALLY sex, per se.

It's more masturbation with a sex toy made of meat, rather than Taiwanese vinyl.

No sin or perversion is involved.

Just remember to wash up afterwards.

--
Rev. Jihad Frenzy

"Gadzooks!", quoth I, "But here's a saucy bawd!"

I, Libertine
by Fredrick R. Ewing

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Dr.Legume" <legume@subgenius.com>

Ragin' Pope Angus wrote:
>
> In article <35207FDB.7B6E@u.washington.edu>, blight@u.washington.edu
> belched forth and said...
> > For you see, I am an anthrosexual. I am sexually attracted to humans.
> > I have sexual INTERCOURSE with humans, and I enjoy it.
>
> ("Planet of the Apes" flashback)
> NNOOOOOO!!! You finally went and did it!!!
>
> Boblight does it with talking monkeys!
>
> I thought I smelled omnivore when he walked past us at the Seattle
> Devival.
> --
Goddamn Ivangelicals
--
Dr.K'taden Legume
Evangelist Gunslinger
Church of the SubGenius (Holocaustal)

Visit the Holocaustal Website at:
http://members.tripod.com/~DrLegume/index.html

The horseman lifteth up both the bright sword and the glittering spear:
and there is a multitude of slain, and a great number of carcases; and
there is none end of their corpses

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mitchell@Doesn't.Spam.Suck.interserv.com (Popess Lilith von Fraumench)

In article <35207FDB.7B6E@u.washington.edu>, blight@u.washington.edu says...
>
>For you see, I am an anthrosexual. I am sexually attracted to humans.
>I have sexual INTERCOURSE with humans, and I enjoy it.

Well, DUH. I never bought that line about, "Oh, this is my, er, roommate,
Gaping Orifice Human. Ori, this is Popess Lilith...."

I honestly don't care what you dip your wick into. After all, if I can perform
sexual congress with squirrels inside a pumpkin, you can, well, do whatever you
do with those THINGS.

I only ask one thing: HURT THEM REAL BAD. The more wretched and disgusting they
look, the easier it will be for some of the spineless "SubGenii" in our Church
to KEEL THAIM.

In 96 days.

P.Lil

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: friday@subgenius.com (IrRev. Friday Jones)
In article <35207FDB.7B6E@u.washington.edu>, "Rev. Boblight"
<blight@u.washington.edu> wrote:

>My friends, it is time for me to clear my conscience.
>
>
>I first did it as a 'kink' - as who has not?

I have not.

- Friday

--
* T * H * E * X * D * A * Y * F * I * L * E * S *
Final, Final SubGenius Devival & Armageddon Party
April 23rd, 1998 - Middle East Restaurant, Cambridge MA
Stang/Legume/Meyer/B T M KOS/Bro.Duncan/Rev.DK Jones/MORE!
9:30 PM - 1:30 AM, Door Opens at 9, 18+, $10 admission
http://www.tiac.net/users/fjones/xdayfiles.html

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: UnitIV@sputum.com (Doktor DynaSoar)

Popess Lilith von Fraumench wrote:

}I honestly don't care what you dip your wick into. After all, if I can perform
}sexual congress with squirrels inside a pumpkin, you can, well, do whatever you
}do with those THINGS.

Truly preached, Popess.

--
(@ @)\DynaSoar\___, Doktor DynaSoar Iridium, Scienfictiontologist
ll ll Yetii Genetii Research InstiToot, Somedamnwhere, VA
Clench of The One True Pipe Dream, ElectroChurch of the SubGenius

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Felix The Cat <felixxx@goodnet.com>

Ok. Boblight! I'm PAN everything! I'll even fuck a hole in
the ground. >:)

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Original file name: Out of the Closet! - converted on Friday, 16 May 2003, 16:50