From: KILLME@killme.com (Rev. Sternodox)
Date: Mon, Aug 4, 2003
Clawing Stamina Breath Plugs
by Rev. Sternodox
Once upon a time was this gigantic rectum that wasn't
attached to any
human body or animal body but was just a giant rectum
all by itself. One
day, as the rectum (whose name was Ralph) was levitating
itself along the
Path of Blistering Nodules, it came upon another gigantic
unattached
rectum named Belinda, only this one was bleeding severely
from hundreds
of tiny ruptures along the surface of its skin. "Oh
my," said Ralph, "Has
some gigantic dick buttfucked you and is that how come
you're bleeding all
out of those anal fissures and stuff?" But by the
time Ralph had finished
this line of questioning, Belinda had already bled to
death. Now Ralph was
faced with a quandry that had never been fully addressed
in his Sunday
School lessons. Did he turn necro and start to buttfuck
the giant, bloody,
dead rectum in a frenzy of pornographic lust fulfillment,
or did he enter
into a monastic state and begin twelve years of regemented
prayer and
scholarly meditation on the meaning of life? Ralph thought
and thought. On
the one hand, it sure would feel good to buttfuck that
dead rectum. On the
other hand, Ralph didn't even have a fucking dick because
all he was was a
gigantic assemblage of sphincter material. Suddenly,
the Good Fart Fairy
showed up wearing a beige tutu, sequined high heels
and too much green eye
make-up. "Hello Ralph, I am your good fart fairy,"
said the Good Fart
Fairy. "Gosh," said Ralph, "I wish for
..." But the Good Fart Fairy held
up three fingers, which were all covered in shit. "Not
so fast, Ralph.
First you must ..." But just then it started raining
poisonous shit down
on everybody and killed Ralph and the Good Fart Fairy
instantly but didn't
kill this other creature who was shaped like twelve
giant dicks all joined
together at the heads so it was real frustrated that
it couldn't fuck
anything because it wouldn't be able to get in there.
Just then a magic
mirror came there and the twelve-dick creature looked
at it for but an
instant and was magically transformed into Dan Blocker,
who was dead for
so long he looked just like a mostly rotted zombie who
crawled out of the
grave and started to buttfuck the dead rectums and the
Good Fart Fairy all
at the same time because nobody knew it but he always
had three dicks. But
Hitler had a Poloroid Land Camera and was hiding behind
a beautiful bush
and took a picture of Dan Blocker buttfucking a dead,
bleeding rectum and
threatened to turn it over to the newspapers if Dan
Blocker didn't give
him one of his dicks. But Dan Blocker decided to just
keep all his dicks
and didn't care if Hitler did that and told Hitler to
fuck off. So Hitler
called the Insect Jesus to fly the poloroid to the New
York Times but he
dropped it in the La Brea Tar Pits and was magic and
turned the mastodons
and giant sabre tooth tigers into real live vampire
go-go girls whose
patent leather boots were made out of the skin of white
slave girls that
were sold to these perverted Middle Eastern land barons
who were
buttfucking in this jet airplane that malfunctioned
and crashed into an
orphanage and killed the pilot and everyone in it and
also all the orphans
except one who was a learning-disabled Mexican and who
became dictator of
the whole world and legalized it to buttfuck dead, bleeding
rectums on
national television but it turned out that he was the
only one who never
jacked off to rectum buttfucking because he was a homo.
The End
Original file name: STERNO'S VERY FIRST #192F17.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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