The Five and a Half Pillars of CoS

From: Cardboard Box <>
Date: Thu, Jul 29, 2004

Yeah, my first ever IRC log snippet (slightly manicured.) First time for

<Bl1tz> Fat Controller -- of all the people I know from the Quake
community, your interests and tastes are by far the most obscure and
interesting -- and that is a compliment
I'm still intrigued by the church of the Subgenius
mainly because I can't figure out what the hell it's all about

<CardbdBox> There are five and a half pillars to our faith, grasshoppah.

<Bl1tz> why five and a half?

<CardbdBox> First is "Shahada", Profession of Faith - buying a membership
(If you don't, your pstench don't get read, and no ticket onto the Pleasure
Saucers come X-Day)

* Vondur is listening to Diabolos Rising - Give Me Blood Or Give Me Death :
[ 666 ] 192kbps
<CardbdBox> Second, "Salat", Prayer - well, excremeditation, anyway
if you can be bothered

<CardbdBox> Thirdly, "zakat", Charity - buying lots of swag and giving
generously to yourself
(I'm really enjoying making this up)

<CardbdBox> Fourthly, "Samum", self-denial - as in denying the Conspiracy
your Slack.

<Vondur> heh
* Bl1tz is enjoying the effort
<Bl1tz> it reads like a mix between George Orwell, L. Ron Hubbard, and the
<Speed> is it phunney

<CardbdBox> Fifthly, "Hajj", Pilgrimage - preferrably to Brushwood in time
for X-Day, but in practice probably visiting SubSite or alt.slack or
alt.binaries.slack whenever

<Bl1tz> hahaha
<CardbdBox> The half pillar's "jihad", struggle, but technically it ain't a
or pee
or a really good burrito, whatever boats yer floater

*** distrans has joined channel #terrafusion
<CardbdBox> OK, class dismissed, along with all dismissal of class

<Vondur> :>
<Bl1tz> being born into the lower class, class was already dismissed
<CardbdBox> And I did base it on what little I understand of Islam, which
is the five pillars (and that's the extent of my research)

* Vondur is listening to Diabolos Rising - Satanas Lead Us Through
<Bl1tz> dismissed, loathed, and envied :D
I have a book in my bookcase called 'the Haj' but I've never read it
Leon Uris
<Vondur> salat = salad in russian, zakat = sunset in russian btw
<Speed> I have a book in my bookcase too!
maybe even 2 books
speaking of food
to work or not to work?
that is the question
<distrans> not work
that is the answer
<Speed> the wrong one
u are fired!
<distrans> :p
* Vondur destroys distrans
<distrans> aaaaaaaah
* Vondur is listening to Diabolos Rising - Sorcery - Scientia Maxima
<Bl1tz> hi distrans
<CardbdBox> I'm gonna have to post this log to alt.slack. See what they
Rev. Cardboard Box, SubGenius Minister
"Something begins in order to end: an adventure doesn't let
itself be extended; it achieves significance only through its
death." - Jean-Paul Sartre, "Nausea"

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Original file name: The Five and a Half #1ACFFE.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05

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