From: "ArchD'Ikon Zibethicus" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Sat, 07 Aug 2004
>Rev. Paul Casino:
>1 Behold, little pink(1) earth brain within my void-grip(2),
and receive Logos(3); and lay(4)
with >the Wor(5); <snip> (2) Chapter Two of The Book of the SubGenius claims that at the moment
of the Divine >Emaculation "Bob" was "abruptly removed and translated across the yawning gulfs
of space and >time to the very OEIDGE' of JHVH-1 himself!" (What then, is the IDGE? It's uncertain,
but it appears to >be the physical manifestation of a spiritual body, thought made flesh.)
The term 'Idge' is actually a portmanteau of 'Id' and
'edge'. As such, the Idge is the /edge/ of
the /Id/; the border of the portion of the unconscious where instinctive urges are generated. As
can readily be imagined, the Idge of JHVH-1 is about as close to the hypostasis as any mortal
could safely approach, given that JHVH-1's most basic urge is to SMITE. Go over the Idge, and
even "Bob" might find his individual identity becoming subsumedS
>The term "void-grip" here suggests just
that, the Stark Fist of Retrieval reaching across the
cosmos to >pluck the soul of "Bob" from his body and bring him in close so that the Rebel God
could "have a >man-to-God chat" with Dobbs. I personally suspect that the "television of his
own design" bit to be >nothing more than a red-herring, having no actual bearing on whether or
not "Bob" would be >chosen at that moment or not.
Actually, the 'television' in question played a /very/
significant part in the Emaculation, although
it was not a machine of the same kind as that found in living-rooms worldaround todayS
Back in 1890, the last "Bob" before the one
we know and (ahem!) love today came to La Paz, Bolivia,
hot on the heels of the opening of the first railway in 1888. He brought with him an entire boxcar
of bowler hats, which he intended to sell to the Bolivian men at inflated prices as the latest
accessory in Suits; "as worn in London!"
His proclivities - which he shares with all "Bobs",
of course - predictably led to his arrest at one
of the larger and more opulent brothels on a drunk and disorderly charge. While he was in the vile
holding cells, awaiting processing of his bribe, he entered into conversation with an Englishman
who was a long-term resident of the jail for reasons which he did not specify. The Englishman told
this "Bob" about the existence of fabulous and readily-removed treasure troves at the nearby ancient
ruins of Tiahuanaca.
On release, this "Bob" decided to pursue the
rumour himself. He found that the Bolivian men were
completely uninterested in the grotesque hats he was drumming, but he easily recovered his costs and
more by flogging them to the Bolivian /women/ instead, with whom they were an unexpected smash hit
(in fact, some women wear bowlers to this day). The penultimate "Bob" grinned, pocketed his wad, and
set off for TiahuanacaS
The ruins of Tiahuanaca are vast and of unknown antiquity.
Even though they are high in the mountains,
they appear to have been built as a port (they are on the shore of Lake Titicaca). As soon as the "Bob"
approached the site, he whiffread that the place had been built many aeons ago as a mineral-processing
centre for trade with the Xists, rather than as a temple.
(See Chapter VIII of 'Andean Insights', Gurth and Maria Walton, London 2003.) Fragmentary memories of
past lives spent enriching himself on this site began to haunt him in his dreamsS (Our "Bob" obliquely
alludes to the episode in his 1967 pamphlet: 'YOU HAVE SOLD BEFORE: HOW TO RECOVER SUCCESSFUL SALES
TECHNIQUES USED IN YOUR PAST LIVES'.)
Of course, there was no treasure to be found. But, while
Pipe-dowsing around in the remains of the large
stepped pyramid known as the Kalasasaya, he literally stumbled upon the remains of the gigantic monolith
called 'The Gateway of the Sun'. It lay in two pieces, flat and covered with earth. Although the huge slab
- made of andesite - weighs over one hundred tons, the "Bob" induced the local Indians (with gifts of money
and 'frop and unsold bowlers) to join him in an eventually successful effort to re-erect the Gateway in what
his 'spirit guide' assured him was the correct location on top of the Kalasasaya.
The location was, in fact, hopelessly incorrect, but
this "Bob's" blunder led to amazing consequences:
"Bob" dismissed his assistants, and, on the morning of the summer solstice, pegged out the patch of ground
marked out by the first sunrays shining through the 'doorway' of the monolith. The "Bob" was convinced that
the treasures he sought - which had long since ceased to be merely dreams of golden trinkets - were to be
found beneath the point he had marked. He started digging that very nightS
Sand, whether it is a sheer fluke or not, it wasn't
long before he struck 'gold': he had, in fact, unearthed
a previously unknown passageway beneath the Kalasasaya. The passage or tunnel was still clear, and it stretched
away to the limits of vision on both sides. Armed only with his hurricane lamp, his Pipe and a revolver, the
"Bob" gamely descendedS
What he actually found that night has never been fully
revealed. The hints passed on to today's "Bob"
guardedly of /another/, still more ancient city lying beneath the one presently known. (Supposedly, not all
the ancient guardians of that second city were entirely deadSand other tunnels may still exist below /that/S)
At any rate, when the "Bob" finally emerged,
battered and bloody but grinning triumphantly, he clutched
beneath his arm the remains of a certain machine or device. It was smashed beyond repair, but its twisted
structure was strangely suggestive, and the cracked screen, which had been fashioned from one single gigantic
quartz crystal, still seemed to possess a faint suggestion of glowing somewhere in its depthsS
To cut a long story short, it was this "Bob"
who named his discovery 'The Tele-Vision' once he had
its function in 1895. Note that this use of the term precedes that of Logie Baird by many years, and is, in
fact, a /different/ term altogether; the "Bob's" machine was, as he correctly surmised, not a device for
transmitting moving pictures at a distance, but a machine for scanning SPACE-TIME in various ways. Thus, the
correct etymology of the term is that it describes a device for producing 'teleological visions'; that is,
visions of the Original Divine Joke and the End Times and the hidden forces in between. Like Baird, the "Bob"
was careless enough to combine a Greek and a Latin word in coining his new name, but they are two entirely
different Greek words, and the two devices should not be confused.
When the "Bob" who had found the thing realised
that he was 'dying for real', he sold the remains of
'The Tele-Vision' to Nikola Tesla, who became so obsessed by it as to become inattentive to his business
affairs, to his consequent impoverishment. Nevertheless, Telsa gained many invaluable insights from his study
of the device, some of which he incorporated in various inventions. However, he never succeeded in reconstructing
a working Tele-Vision, and when he was visited by our "Bob" in the late 1930s, he was happy enough to hand over
the original and some of his notes and sketches to "Bob" once "Bob" had revealed his identity.
It was actually this machine that triggered the Emaculation.
"Bob" worked on it for years, in odd moments,
is not really correct to say that The Tele-Vision was of his own design; rather, "Bob" improved on Tesla's notes,
which tended towards the substitution of modern electronic parts which duplicated the presumed functions of the
enigmatic originals. It was precisely this device which "Bob" was working on when the screen began to glow /without
the cord being plugged in/Sbut only because he wired the final circuit up _back-to-front_ without realising itS
Sand the rest is PreHistoryS
>(4) A puzzling word choice, "lay". Most
would assume that it means "to rest in a prone
position >with the Wor".
This cannot be so. LAY is the past form of the verb LIE, but since the other two >verbs in the passage are present
tense (Behold, Receive), this doesn't hold water. No, JHVH-1 >commanded that "Bob" set something down with the Wor,
using the present form of LAY. What >was it that "Bob" was to put down, and why is it that the Wor must co-operate
with him as he does >so?
The closest parallel I can find for this phrase is -
tho' I blush to name it! - actually in /Principia Discordia/,
Explanations 1:2: "And the Angel of Eris bade of the Lord: Go ye hence and dig the Truth, that ye may come to know
it and, knowing it, spread it and, spreading it, wallow in it and, wallowing in it, lie in it and, lying in the
Truth, become a Poet of the Word and a Sayer of Sayings -- an Inspiration to all men and a Scribe to the Gods."
Lay with the Wor, Lie with the TruthSas to the meaning/s of Wor, see below.
>(5) The Wor. What is it? Despite it's phonetic similarity
to "war" and perhaps "whore" (unlikely),
has been characteristically tight-lipped on the exact nature of this "Wor". The >capitalization suggests that it
may be a proper noun, a person, place, thing or (most frightening of >all) an IDEA.
In the original passage cited, the term 'wor' may, perhaps,
have been a misunderstanding or a garbling of the Hebrew
word ''owr', which is phonetically pronounced 'ore'.
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/Lexicons/Hebrew/heb.cgi?number=05785&version=kjv) This term means 'leather', or 'hide'
or 'skin' - either of men or of animals - and can possibly, in "Bob's" case, be interpreted partially as an
injunction to /sleep with/ the empty shells of the Pinks (the 'meat puppets'), but not to /procreate/ with them.
Alternatively, the use of the term in this context may
be interpreted allegorically, in the sense of a leather
binding as used for an expensive book. JHVH-1's injunction to "Bob" might thus be understood to be a command
to prepare himself to either /receive/ or even to /become/ the 'binding' of the teachings; the core text or
principles or Prescriptures. "Bob" might also become a vessel or container made of skin; a vessel which /contains/
the teachings, as in the sense of Leviticus 11:32, or to 'lie' /with/ this vessel in order to become suffused
with its essence, SLACK.
(It is also noteworthy, in view of "Bob's"
Texan heritage and his shadowy connections with diverse
'WOR' is also an oil-mining term in the Pink world. It is an abbreviation of 'Water/Oil Ratio'; being a measure
of the proportion of produced water to produced oil. (http://www.glossary.oilfield.slb.com/Display.cfm?Term=WOR)
In view of "Bob's" reputation as a 'snake-oil salesman', his description of his SubGenius product as 'The Good
Oil' may be see to take on yet another level of meaning; the pure oil of the Prescriptures is actually The Perfect
WOR, with no extraneous water whatsoeverSwas he subtly planting this concept in the minds of the oilmen?)
Original file name: Prescriptures-SubElist.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05
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