X-Day-7 report of Governor Rocknar

From: Governor Rocknar <Rocknar@insightbb.com>
Date: Thu, Jul 8, 2004

Praise Dr. Howll for being so cool and hanging out with me and agreeing to
filming an Ale-8 commercial for next year's SubGenius TV. Also thank you for
the great picture idea you gave me which I posted to alt.binaries.slack
earlier today.

Praise G. Gordon Gordon for putting up with my insanities.

Praise Sister Decadence, Doc Frop, SexMortus, TwoBeans and Lord Sloth for
letting me camp beside them this year, especially when I was in my more
annoying moments.

Praise Wei R. Doe for her coming to my rescue when I nearly passed out from
how good the frop was one night. When Stang called you from my cell phone
and it got cut off, that wasn't intentional. Cell service at Brushwood is
really hit or miss. If you have a super deluxe phone like Sloth does, it
doesn't matter where you are. Unfortunately my Sprint PCS phone isn't so
nifty. Ah well. Thanks for being there when I was looking like I was about
ready to literally black out and I was holding onto the wood surrounding the
hot tub.

I wasn't IN the hot tub, I was standing outside of it by the doors. And as
Wei could tell you, I SCARED THE HELL OUT OF HER! She was scared I was about
to crack my head on the concrete or topple into Stang or something like
that. At least I had the presence of mind to ANCHOR my arm around that wood
railing in case something like that DID happen. Maybe I knew what was about
to happen by experiencing it in another timeline and by knowing that, I
changed the timeline to where I would only have very minor injuries like bug
bites and sunburn and not a horrible bone injury like Pastor Craig at X-Day
3 or SexMortus at X-Day-5. Anyway, it was great seeing you there again,
Weeeeeeeee!!!! (See, I pronounced it RIGHT that time!)

Praise Stang for the preview in The Studio of Dobbsdeliasteses and for
accepting a 12-pack of Ale-8 as well as an offering of a milk crate filled
with videotapes I have accumulated over the years. Note that the Dawn of the
Dead is NOT a bootleg of the 2004 remake but an SP copy taped off Cinemax of
the original. Also, there's a REALLY OLD tape of Captain Kangaroo and
cartoons and stuff I made when I was 6 years old and had access to the VCR
for the first time. I figure there is some bulldada to all those tapes.

There are also an assortment of tapes on UFO's for Wei that my mom made,
some cool movies like "Serial" which is an early 1980's look at the kooks of
Southern California. Also stuff like Sex and the City, Sopranos episodes,
Six Feet Under, HBO's Real Sex (including one featuring human equines, or
"pony play" which is hysterical to watch, call it "Pink Mating Rituals"). I
know you might not have the room to store all these sacred tapes, but I'm
glad you were able to pack them anyway. They should provide many weeks of

Also thank you for the Bobbie Award of "Treasurer of Numerological
Anomalies" for the many bills I present each year, this year TWO of the
NEW-new $20's with 666 in their serial numbers and ONE NEW-new $20 with
13013 in it's serial number. I'll have that Bobbie Award framed and hang it
in my workspace!

Praise Philo and Sphinx Drummond for THE SWINGING LOVE CORPSES!

Praise Bucky and Hellena for arriving and a double-praise for Bucky helping
me cook up a batch of X-Day GHOULASH (canned roast beef hash, canned chicken
and instant mashed potatoes cooked up.)

Praise Pope Phil Monty and his new yeti-bride Penny for making the
pilgrimage across the great pond to be with us.

Praise Dr. Tillis and his son, the Dali Raman for sharing a moment of slack
by watching "The Omega Man". Also for Dr. Tillis skill in treating a blister
on my finger from me stupidly trying to pick up a glowing frop ember.

Praise Sifu and evielove for giving the Warriors for Wotan clench our new
symbol that we wore around our necks all week. Which after actually SEEING
these horrible looking things, I have immediately changed my own funeral
arraingements. I want a partial cremation and have the ashes buried in the
family plot, an in-urn-ment is what Sifu can tell you it is. I want to be
cremated except for my SKULL, which I want to have preserved in a solid
clear block of lucite with a Dr. Graybow (the pipe that Dobbs himself uses)
clenched in my teeth.

I want that lucite block with my neatly preserved bone white skull AUCTIONED
OFF AT THE BULLDADA AUCTION! By god, I would think there are some people in
our group who would love nothing better than to have my skull as a trophy on
their shelf. Praise be to the Bulldada auction this year for taking so many
of the OTHER milkcrate of tapes I had put specifically aside for the
auction. Many fine porns in that group, a JENNA JAMESON all-girl "Jenna's
Built For Speed" - but I have no idea how much it went for. I bet Philo
bought it, I heard he loves porn. He'll give it a good home, no doubt.

Praise SexMortus for setting up not just an electronic paradise of slack but
also devising an ingenious cover to protect all our gear from the weather.
That tiny little piece you have to connect your projector to my iBook, take
VERY GOOD CARE of that, so we can set it up again next year. Also, that gray
USB connector cable really was for my camera. Ordinarily I'd be upset on
having lost it at X-Day but thankfully I uploaded all the pics I had onto my
iBook while I was actually there.

Praise Ed Strange for visiting the nice den of slack that SexMortus put
together with the outdoor fire pit and the tiki torches, as well as being
one of the few people who has actually seen the new HBO western "Deadwood".

Praise TwoBeans for his KILLER RAVE MUSIC which combined with SexMortus'
video projector made for INTERESTING VISUALS when I started dancing like an
utter tweaking fool with jeans and a Dobbshead t-shirt on.

Praise SamHain and Gonzo for their helium inspired madness.

Praise Jesus and Magdalen for the passion play.

Praise Nickie Deathchick for the crossdresser ball.

Praise Nickie's boyfriend Bob Wild for winning it.

Praise Ferguson and Mute for the cool liquid yo-yos and blinking LED toys.

Praise Carter LeBlanc for his many fine glass fropwares and Dobbs-Icon glass
pipes. And I'm sure he has praise for the efforts that SexMortus, 808 and I
put to getting Carter's car out of the horrible ditch it had gotten stuck
in. I hope the oil pan suffered no damage from that. The fact we got it out
ourselves and that we didn't need the embarassment of having to get the
tractor to pull the car out is proof of what SubGeniuses we truly are.

At first we tried going FORWARD but from the way the oil pan was resting
right on the ground, it would be damaged for sure. So I suggested that we
put some huge stones on the underside of one of the wheels that was making
no contact with the ground and by god it worked! Carter's friend Liz was
behind the wheel working the gas, Carter, SexMortus, 808 and I all put our
combined effort into lifting the front bumper and she backed out of the
dangerous ditch just like that. Just goes to show that you should NEVER
doubt the power of ROCK and STICK!

Praise NVZ for bringing his telescope, even though the skies over Brushwood
were not optimal for stargazing.

Praise Prostata and Rabbi for FINALLY SHOWING UP!

Praise Joy D'Veeve for bringing Lilith.

Praise Lilith for her unconventional way of "cross" dressing.

Praise Little Fyodor and.....BABUSHKA for their music.

Praise Rev. Angry Larry and Lisa for the Amino Acids for giving me two disks

Praise Lupus Yonderboy and Lady Bast for SubGenius TV. Lupus said that after
his first Ale-8, he compared it to "liquid crack". Which is probably why it
sells so well in Kentucky. Also for letting me be an official cameraman for
SubGenius TV, of which they now have OVER FOUR HOURS of new material of all
the insanity of X-Day-7. Also a special REMOTE praise to THE KENTUCKY BOYS
for their own level of insanity as seen on the newest episode of SubGenius
TV. As Asquire said, IT IS ALL TRUE! I was laughing so hard, I about near
pissed my pants from how funny it was to hear Lupus do practically a
Dateline-NBC like story all about the Kentucky Boys. It's sad to say that
I'm from the same state, born and raised, as they are.

"One thing is certain. I am NEVER going to visit Kentucky!" - quote from
APLY in the new SubGenius TV episode. I hope that if I can put together a
devival in Lexington, that MAYBE Lupus and Bast would reconsider that and
visit LEXINGTON which is nowhere near as bad as the rest of the state.

Praise Sean Scrotum for accepting my Dr. Howll Ale-8 commercial tape and for
offering to help piece it together with the still shots of the Ale-8 cans as
well as cleaning up Howll's voice-over.

Praise Dr. Dark and DJ Shaver for the Drive-In and for FORBIDDEN ZONE!

Praise RevRash and Chrismok for the use of the trailer which makes vaping up

Praise Jimbo Cerulan and RevAlex for the hilarious idea of "Foghorn
Rocknar". Watch out next year, Banjobob! If you should hear me strutting
down the gravel path and singing Camptown Races, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE,

Praise ChrisLee and the rest of the Quijibo cartel for being there again!

Praise Modemac for making it back to X-Day after a long absence.

Praise Aduna for giving me some of her prosperity discs and accepting one of
our own discs in return, a CD-ROM packed with all sorts of text files on

Praise Rev. Sparky for giving me a ride on his golf cart when I had to
hustle back to my camp from the pavillion during the bulldada auction in my
quest to find SexMortus for more miniDV camcorder tapes. I probably scared
the hell out of Sparky when he saw me literally running down the main road
headed back to my camp. He must have thought that the Feds were behind me or

Praise Susi Legume for her stunned reaction to the sight of Sloth driving
me, (was it SamHain or 808? I think maybe it was SamHain) in the back seat.
Lupus Yonderboy wanted a ride up the main road so he stretched himself out
over the hood and drove him to the main pavillion. Susi's reaction was a
silent "oh my GOD!" - while her hubby Dr. K'Taden Legume gave no discernable
reaction to the sight. Obviously he's seen and probably done similar stupid
shit in his life. Hell, who hasn't? As it must have been SamHain who said to
this pagan kid as we drove past, "DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!".

Praise Rev. Ennie for PANCAKES and for taking part in the mass cookout.

Praise Rev. Jim, Pastor Pressure and the rest of their clench for providing
a place to cook our food.

Praise 808 for his Little Fyodor and Babushka t-shirt, which I must admit is
a very nice shirt and a DAMN SEXY POSE for Babushka.

Praise Patrick Volkerding and Andrea for THE FROP THAT HAD NO NAME!

Praise LeeBurls for what she's had to endure being a marine.

Praise Lord Sloth for letting me use his cell phone after mine died from the
Brushwood weather.

Praise Moon for letting me set up my air matress in her huge tent on that
final night I was in Brushwood. It made a BIG difference in my long drive
home the next day.

Praise Televangela for raiding our camp area in a mad search for frop after
everyone else in our camp went to sleep on that final night.

Praise PaterNostril for rescuing the other items I left behind, a big red
bath towel I had left drying on a clothesline as well as a pair of shorts
that got soaked from all the rain we had. Also for helping me recover the
tripod that I had left behind at the burning icon ceremony. PaterNostril,
take good care of those cats, Patches and Mr. Gray. Those are two very
slackful cats, espcially when Mr. Gray walked up to me at the Drive-In
during Forbidden Zone and was accepting the offerings of deviled chicken
spread on Doritos.

And a special praise for Frank and Darlene Barney for letting us all gather
at Brushwood. They might make more money with the upcoming Starwood
gathering with all the people who come to celebrate their inner pagan, but
they have a much better time when The Church of the SubGenius arrives to
celebrate X-Day.

I think that about covers everyone who was there. That's a first for ME to
actually REMEMBER people's names!

Meantime I am trying to enjoy a bit of slack with the three DVD's I
purchased, ARISE and the two Dobbsdeliasteses discs. And let me tell you,
DR. HOWLL IS 100% CORRECT when he says that certain playback systems may
encounter difficulty with them, all the DVD players in my house, my iBook,
my Dell, and my VCR-DVD combo all want to spit the discs out. "ewww, BAD
DISC!" and give me error reports that the disc is either scratched or dirty
(iBook) or that I don't have the right codecs (Windoze) or what comes out on
the Arise disc on my regular VCR-DVD is a bizarre pattern of interference
like when you watch digital cable and you get a weird flashing pattern of

I hate watching these discs and having them FREEZE UP on me while they try
to read the files. Is there anything that can be done to remedy this?

That's about the only thing really stealing my slack at the moment. However,
all the while I've been typing this, I've been tweaking with the iBook,
turning off memory-hungry apps and trying to make it easier for the DVD to
actually play. I notice it's one of the new BLUE DVDs, and that when I take
that disc out, it feels HOT! SUPER HOT! I mean hot to the point you could
almost fry EGGS it's so hot.

Do you suppose that maybe if the disc got hot enough, that it might be able
to melt a very thin layer of the plastic of the disc? That might explain why
the computer thinks the disc is scratched or dirty, because the information
on that disc is becoming distorted from the micro-thin layer of melted
plastic. It seems to me that if most players have difficulty playing
home-burned DVDs, then that's a defect in design. The Conspiracy WANTS you
to be able to burn stuff to DVD but they want to steal your little bit of
slack by having the disks slowly MELT over time.

It's exactly like Chris Rock says. Caddilac COULD make a car that would last
50 years, but they won't do anything THAT fucking dumb.

Maybe this means I have to get a better drive for it. A DVD burner at the
very least. Oh well, I don't want to have to think about that right now. I
have survived (at least I THINK I survived) another X-Day. One of the best
ones I've ever been to. Few will top the glory of X-Day-7.

Except maybe X-Day-8? (the year of ALE-8)

Maybe I could convince the Ale-8 factory in Winchester, Kentucky to put out
a special series of collectors cans of Ale-8, with pics of famous
SubGeniuses, like one with Stang, Wei, Dr. Howll, Legume, Doc Frop, Sister
Decadence, G. Gordon Gordon, Janor (as Mr. TV), Papa Joe Mama, Susie, and so
on. Of course they should ALL have a Dobbshead. Hell, maybe it'd be easier
to get them to just put a Dobbshead (even if it's just a small one) on the

Start planning and saving up for next year. Those of you like Lupus
Yonderboy will now want to save up ALL YOU CAN just for that sweet taste of
liquid crack, uh, I mean ALE-8 to enjoy for X-DAY!


Governor Rocknar
Treasurer of Numerological Anomalies


From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgeniusNOSPUM.com>

This is all very strange to me. Firstly because all the DVDs that I
burn on are Ryteks which are MAGENTA, reddish-purple, not blue in
color. In no wise are my DVDs blue. Also, we have sold several hundred
of these various disks and you are only the second person to find them
unplayable. (The first person who reported a problem, we found that
burning onto a plain store-bought Maxel DVD blank worked for his
particular machine.)

Home burned DVDs do indeed incur scratches much more easily than
commercial DVDs. This was a big surprise to me.

However, the burner we use and the disks we use are both the kind which
work with the widest range of players. If you mail those bad disks back
to me I will happily send you new replacement ones and we'll see how
that works.

The hard part is making the fucking labels and putting them on the
boxes and disks. Burning the disks is easy enough although I need to
get a modern 8X burner 'cause mine (DONATED by the great GRIPTION
CLENCH of NC!!) is 1X. As you saw, they played fine in the $40 Apex I
was using at Brushwood.

The heating-up business, wow, I can only attribute that to a CURSE.
They get hot when you burn them but I never knew one to heat up from
being PLAYED. These are SEXY videos, however.

4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)


From: Governor Rocknar <Rocknar@insightbb.com>

I'm having some better luck getting them to play by keeping the background
apps playing, although they will still freeze after 15 minutes of play. I'm
guessing it's not a problem with the disks but with my iBook's DVD drive.

And you were right, they aren't blue at all. I must have looked at them and
the fluorescent light in my room played hell with my eyes.

I'm sure that the disks themselves are okay, they are NOT scratched or dirty
like the iBook says they are. I guess some older model first-generation
DVD's aren't ready for the new home-burns. :/

I don't want to send the discs in JUST YET. If need be, I'd get a new APEX
before trading in the discs.

Maybe I should try cleaning the discs? For all I know, there's a micro-thin
layer of frop causing the DVD drives to become as goofy as I was during

I'll get these discs to work eventually.

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