How Come

From: (KD et al)
Date: Sun, May 2, 2004

There is no SubGenius magazine?


From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <>


I'm still PAYING OFF the last printed SubGenius magazine, so that some
day we can print and mail the one that's been sitting here finished for
about 4 years (layout by Chris Lee of QUIJIBO).

It's slow going, you might say. I switched over to video and audio
projects in the meantime, which ironically enough are now much cheaper
and easier to "publish" than paper zines. That's why there are a dozen
new CD and multimedia things in the catalog, and hundreds of free
downloadable HOUR OF SLACK shows -- trying to find ways to preserve at
least PART of this incredible ongoing eruption of uncontrollable talent
before X-Day.

If I get half a chance someday I'll turn the old Stark Fist issues into
a few print-on-demand books with i-universe or somebody. That's been
sitting on the old "back burner" for about 5 years now. Some of that
stuff was really great, and didn't get used in any of the four books.
I've been scanning bits and pieces of it and throwing it at
alt.binaries.slack and SubSITE on and off for years. Between all the
NEW stuff, though, I haven't had time to even EXCAVATE the originals
from storage, much less clean them up and organize them.

Jesus spent a lot of time and money doing nothing BUT trying to start
up a legit SubGenius publishing business, but I guess you weren't one
of the big start-up investors He approached during that period, 1999 -
2001 or so.

People apparently just don't see a whole lot of advertising potential
in funny books that insult the most cherished and deeply held beliefs
of the vast majority of the population. The Lord, with mouths to feed,
had to get a Real Job. So did Rev. Nickie Deathchick and Magdalen,
although they're all still holding the fort together out of pure
Holiness and a few rubber bands.

Our former publishers were presented with proposals for 9 different
book (and other) projects -- the coffee table art book of stupefying
computer graphics being the most glaringly obvious one, and High
Weirdness by Internet being another -- but it seems there's somebody
there who specifically doesn't like what we stand for. Fancy that! Then
our agent was prematurely taken up to the Escape Vessels.

So we who grow things are plowing ahead like we always have, it's just
that you can't go to the store to buy what we are growing, and none of
us are willing to go to NYC or LA and grovel like Pink Boys, which
probably wouldn't do any good and would backfire anyway. You have to
either pluck it (free!) from Usenet as it's growing, or from SubSITE if
it gets preserved there, or pay me to do all that for you, and mail
you the CDR in a pretty jewel case. Luckily for me, just enough people
do that.

God damn it, I said I wasn't going to explain all this. I have to do
the Starwood flyer today and a whole Hour of Slack but all I want to do
is finish this unbelievable fucking animation. You will SHIT. You will
SIMPLY SHIT. In fact you will fly around the room in circles at high
speed with a rocket-jet of SHIT blowing from your ass in PURE
ASTONISHMENT, when you see this fucking unbelievable animation and
music previewed at the Beachland Ballroom devival May 22.

If I can leave this @#$%^& newsgroup alone and git back to my @#$%^&*(
geekery, all you faithless #$%^&*I(ing #$%^s.

4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)


From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)

We do. But like this church, its a "do-it-yourself" magazine.

Just grap a whole bunch of magazines form your Doctor's, Dentists' or Probation
Officers waitong room.

Clip out all the photos and articles.

Tape them together in random patterns on construction paper.

See! a official "Dobbs Approved" Magazine!

Whats more, if you used an Old National Review or Washington Times, you can
even make it sound just like a Conspiracy approved Media excerement.

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man


From: "nu-monet v6.0" <>

Fredric L. Rice wrote:
> (KD et al) wrote:
> >There is no SubGenius magazine?
> There is. It's called "Reason."

Well, yeah, that *and* "Magnificant Tatas."

"In a race between someone
Trying to get me to care
And me not caring,
I would bet on me."

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