From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <email@example.com>
Date: Tue, Sep 23, 2003
Firstly, it was another great Indyvival in the Quijiboean
However, there were A MILLION TINY, MOSTLY INSIGNIFICANT
mini-disasters - NHGH-nips. In the CONSISTENCY and STRANGE REGULARITY
of these lies a funny behind-the-scenes story. Well, maybe not that
funny. I will testify to them for their possible future interest to
Thursday, Sept.18, 8:00 PM
I was about to leave for the airport to meet Dr. Howll's
flight when I
checked my email. Although I had downloaded maybe two hours earlier,
suddenly there were 70 posts from "Microsoft Security Etc. Etc.,"
obviously a virus or worm starting up again. (The Swen Worm, in this
case.) Before I could pick up Howll I had to quickly do a bunch of
fixes to make sure that important mail like ORDERS didn't get lost in
the worm-to-trash shuffle.
So I ended up running late to meet Howll's flight.
When I got to the airport, IT WAS CLOSED. Nobody was
allowed to park,
drive through, or, for that matter, leave. There had been a bomb threat
or something involving the parking lot. Now half an hour late, I had to
park at a hotel and take a shuttle in to the airport. Where I found
that Howll's flight was an hour late anyway.
That terrorism threat affected the airport ONLY during
the one hour
time window I needed to pick up Howll.
We did an ESO Radio show that night and nothing terrible
next day, Wei drove us to Indianapolis, and nothing terrible happened.
We were late, though, and missed a midnight appointment to be at an
Indianapolis radio station to talk up the devival.
So, from Rev. Chris Lee's beatnik pad, Dr. Howll and
I attempted to do
the interview by phone, using cell phones.
We ended up TRYING the cell phones of every person there,
AND EVERY ONE went out of commission within 30 seconds or a minute of
talking with the radio guys. It was a study in mysterious technical
screw-ups. (None were out of battery charge.) One phone after another,
Howll and I would connect to the station, get a few words in about how
the Conspiracy must be trying to screw up this interview, and then the
connection would FADE OUT. Not break off, but FADE OUT. We must have
tried 5 different cell phones and they all behaved the same way.
Rev. Chris Lee's attempt to record this extremely choppy
radio show was
itself frustrated by his minidisc recorder's odd refusal to "finalize"
that particular disk.
When we got to the motel, they were one room short due
to a mix-up and
Dr. Howll had to sleep in the same room with Princess Wei and I. This
wouldn't have been a problem, except that Dr. Howll howls in his sleep
and he was loathe to inflict it on us.
We just sort of snored back.
The next day, we moved to another hotel closer to town,
all the other Subs were staying... but when we went to check in, we were
told that the credit card number used by the Quijibo Clench to reserve
our rooms was no good because it had expired.
Actually when Quijibo has reserved the rooms, the card
was still good.
It expired the day before we actually got there to check in. All this
meant was a phone call and some number-juggling, but it was weird that
the card's expiring happened to fall PRECISELY between the time that it
was given and the time it was needed.
The toilet didn't work in the room we got and the thermostat
loudly. (I got the motel to knock $ off the room fee.)
When we left for the show, we got lost. This wasn't
coincidence, though, it was just me fucking up in my navigating. THAT
IN ITSELF is a weird technical fuckup, though.
At the show, the VIDEO PROJECTOR... AND the DVD player...
were acting JUST
LIKE THE CELL PHONES HAD - they'd (BOTH) work for a little while, and
then for some reason freeze up or overheat or something.
Also at the show, the drummer for one of the bands
Earth is normally a three-piece surf-thrash band much like The Amino
Acids or Los Straitjackets. But without their drummer they could do
little more than "experimental noodling" - which would probably be okay
elsewhere, but experimental noodling is something the paying SubGenius
audience member can get at home. I'm not clear on what broke their
drummer, but it kind of wrecked that band for the show.
AT LEAST WE HAD NO HURRICANE. Our friends in ACE were
hosting a big
drumming event at Brushwood the same weekend, and they got rained out
On Sunday, we had planned to get back to Cleveland in
time to do a LIVE
Hour of Slack at 9 p.m. We might have been able to do that had we
remembered the TIME ZONE CHANGE between Indiana and Ohio... as it was, we
got to the station about 11 PM, and were still able to go on the air,
because the show FOLLOWING Hour of Slack is ALSO a SubGenius-y show,
hosted by Rev. Rob aka Dr. Sinister.
Lonesome Cowboy Dave had also expected to be part of
the 9:00 live
broadcast, and he drove all the way from Ashtabula to do so - but for
some reason, when he called up to the station to be let in (the doors
are locked after hours), there was a miscommunication and Rev. Rob
never understood that Dave was waiting in the parking lot to be let in.
Dave sat there waiting, lonesome, not knowing what was going on, until
15 minutes before we happened to arrive, and he drove back home.
From home, he called the station and discovered that
he'd missed us by
At this point, we would have had about 5 minutes left
in Dr. Sinister's
show... but the person scheduled to do the NEXT show, NEVER SHOWED.
Leaving Dr. Sinister, us, Howll, and Dave on the phone, to do SOMETHING
until the next DJ arrived - at 2 in the morning... so - and this is the
GOOD result of all this confusion - we were on the air with Dave and
Howll for TWO MORE HOURS.
Dr. Sinister and I just sat back and listened - and
Wei slept - as the
two greatest Improvisational Spouters of the Church of the SubGenius
traded off quips and quibbles in an ever-morphing conversation that
didn't let up or stop being brilliant for two hours straight.
So, in the end, the strange little fuck-ups paid off
in an extra 2
taped hours of ABSOLUTE JAW-DROPPING AMAZINGNESS.
All that said, the devival itself and surrounding parties
came off just
GREAT and everybody was happy!
When I was transferring the sound last night I was especially
with Rev. Nickie Deathchick's preface to her spanking ritual. She has
gotten to be a real pro, one of our best preachers. And jesus fucking
god damn christ does she look good in that tight nun outfit. Lordy.
Hopefully I will be posting MP3s of some of this audio soon.
Wei's best pics, Mister Sister's pics, and Dok Frop's
pics are all on
SPECIAL THANKS to Rev. Steve Psynic and Rev. Toth Wilder
the Swag Table! These men are TRUE Swaggarts!
Must do Hours of Slack now. THEN... maybe... the taxes.
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
From: "Rev. Nickie" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
"Rev. Ivan Stang" <email@example.com>
> When I was transferring the sound last night I was especially impressed
> with Rev. Nickie Deathchick's preface to her spanking ritual. She has
> gotten to be a real pro, one of our best preachers. And jesus fucking
> god damn christ does she look good in that tight nun outfit. Lordy.
Shit, man, when I was an 18-year-old Bobbie living in
NYC, watching Arise
and listening to the HOS on WFMU and shit, I never, never, never would have
thought such things would have been said about me. Dang and shucks, my day
It's funny how life works. I also never would've thought
I'd be happily
living with a crossdresser named BOB WILD, but there you have it.
I may find myself living in a shotgun shack.