IndyVival2003 - Made My Nipples Sing!

From: iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>
Date: Mon, Sep 22, 2003

PICS

Just finally got back to the old East Side Condo of Solitude after a
LOVELY weekend away from Cleveland to attend the 2003 IndyVival. What a
splendid time, my nipples sang happy tunes all the way home.

I left Friday and blew a sacrificial day off werke just to get into the
religious aspect of it all, my small attempt to quit my job and slack
off for Bob, even if it was only for one day. As penance, I stayed over
night in enchanting Dayton, Ohio, in a Ramada Inn that was basically
still standing since its birth in 1967 (or at least parts of it).

This left me several hours to drive the remaining hundred miles to
Indy. There isn't much a man can do for several hours between Dayton
and Indy, let me tell you. However, as I have an incurable BullDada
addiction, I spent the day stopping at every antique shop between the
two cities along US 40, a totally forgotten blue highway.

I did pay homage to Tom Raper Recreational Vehicles on the way. This
place sells so many freaking trailers that its name is legion clear up
in Cleveland. I did tell Tom to pass on my regards to Mother Raper and
Father Raper.

I passed up one piece of BullDada, a children's book entitled Miss
Pussy. It was $20, a bit too much for an obvious joke like that. Sort
of kicking myself, though, that I didn't part with the change. But
there was the swag to be bought!

I stayed at the Residence Inn along Indy's famous (?) canal, which runs
through downtown, and serves as a prop for all the yuppies to gather
round as they relax after coming home from their demanding government
jobs at the Kapital. Forgetting the Pinkness of it all, though, it was
quite a lovely place, and breakfast was included in the room price,
along with a high speed (free!) internet connection.

Dinner was at Tarkington's, next door to St. Elmo's Steak House. This
year, I decided that $40 for a ten dollar hunk of meat and fifty cent
potato wasn't worth it in these tough times. For the same money,
Tarkington serves you a canonical five course prix fixe dinner! Pear
and Leek tart, sole stuffed with shrimp, salad, three imported cheeses,
and a raspberry tort with creme fraiche for dessert. At least that
requires a lot more effort than just mashing some potatoes and burning a
steak, I reasoned.

Got to Radio Radio at about 7:45, after adjusting my time control
bracelet for the hour's difference between Ohio time. We were all
forced to wait outside because of some Amish Law in Indy that you can't
start drinking until the band is all set up or something. Chatted with
Rev. Alex, who as it turns out, was TOO YOUNG to get in. My they have
straight laces down there.

I didn't realize that Rev. Alex was "underage". I praise him for
finding Bob so early in life. Usually, one has to grow to a ripe middle
age after getting ass-raped by Life before you find this Cherch. I can
only imagine the tribulations in his short life which led him to the New
World Order so young!

SisD arrived in a breathtaking (mine, not necessarily HERS) black vinyl
bustier corsety kind of thing. She IS the Dark Queen! When German
Scientists first cobbled together the various aniline and coal tar
derivatives and sewed them up into a garment (besides a gas mask, or
perhaps including one), I believe they must have had her in mind. As
they slaved in their laboratories, I'm sure they did it just knowing
SisD would one day be born to breathe life into their new material!

SisD is beyond a doubt a wonder of the world. Resplendent with
Rubenesque zauftig pulchritude that overflows its container spewing
visual nectar for us hummingbirds, as it were. And she's a really nice
lady, too.

Pope Phred got the show off to a sputtering start with the video
projector whose behavior echoed the recent Blackout many of us in the
east suffered recently. Nevertheless, Rev. Stang's fiery rant recharged
everyone's glands. Then Dr. Howl spake on and quoted Bill Blake at
length. Love that Fez!

The music for the evening, though, was apparently not up with the whole
SubGenius thing. I heard that the drummer got so freaked out by us all,
he walked out, leaving the other band members to improvise something in
his absence. I believe that is, though, a left-handed compliment to us
all.

Nikkie Deathchick purged demons from the buttocks of numerous sinners in
a ritual spanking. I was tempted to proffer my own world class
buttocks, however, the venue wanted us out by 1 AM, and on a square
footage basis, there would not have been enough time for her to purge
the first demon from my puffy and grand ass in the time allotted. Even
with both hands in operation.

Stang ranted once again and came out with some of the funniest damned
lines, especially the part about learning to give the best oral sex
while inside a barrel...to survive the victory of the Jackbooted
Republicans who will one day dominate the world as they attempt to
cleanse it of terrorists. Then Dr. Howl and Stang answered questions,
Karnac stylem from the audience. Stallio played on to close out the
evening.

I pooped out just after 1 AM. I drove through Indy's confusing warren
of one way streets that always seem to go the wrong way, and luckily
found my hotel. Navigation in Indy, I find to be quite challenging
because everywhere you need to be turns out to be at the origin of four
one way roads going the opposite way. Not only that, but the same road
changes names every other block.

If you were unlucky like me and printed a map from the internet, you
would be screwed because they don't show the directions and/or all the
name changes. Next time, I will bring along that machine they used in
The Core to tunnel through the earth. No parking problems then, either.

Greetz to Doc Frop, DJ Epoch, 2Beans, Rev. Pickles, Rev. Alex,
Christopher Lee, Pope Phred, SisD, Nikki, and many other SubG's whose
names unfortunately seem to have been erased by the Absolut Mandarin I
was sucking down waiting for the show to set up. Funny how such a short
molecule can give you so much Slack and yet fuzz out the important
details.

A rip roaring success. Can't wait until Indyvival 2004!

[*]
-----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Nickie" <nickie@subgenius.com>

iDRMRSR <idrmrsr@subgenius.com> wrote:
> I didn't realize that Rev. Alex was "underage". I praise him for
> finding Bob so early in life. Usually, one has to grow to a ripe
> middle age after getting ass-raped by Life before you find this
> Cherch. I can only imagine the tribulations in his short life which
> led him to the New World Order so young!

One of the reasons I like Rev Alex so much is that we found "Bob" at the
SAME AGE- we were both TWELVE. Life had ass-raped me enough by then to
know all about the Conspiracy. In fact, the acronym for CONSPIRACY-
found in pamphlet #2 - is that which made me go, "Yep. All I have to do
now is find these people, and things will be fine". Well, I did find
them, 8 to 10 years later, and things haven't been FINE, but they sure
would've been a whole lot worse. A fuckload worse, actually. All I had
at that point was a look at pamphlet #2 and the Book, and it took me
years to find it again. Rev. Alex is lucky that he's had constant
contact.

And that acronym for those who don't know and are too lazy to look it
up:

Cliques Of Normals Secretly Plotting Insidious Rituals Aimed at
Controlling You.

Quite something, especially if you're a 12-year-old recovering Catholic.
Hence the nun's outfit.

-Rev. Nickie


Up one level
Back to document index
BACK TO PHOTO INDEX