DETROVIVITAL 03 PHOTOS
Lowdown for high-ups
BY GOBBS, they know how to do it ROIGHT in DETROIT!!
I have seen some high-energy devivals, but THIS lak to WHUP ALL.
>From Senator Speck's opening rendition of THE BRAG
OF THE SUBGENIUS to
The Amino Acids' hardware-smashing finale, the first known real DetroVivital
was a hard-charging juggernaut of Slack Amplification AND MONEY MAGICCCK!
Not only guitar and televison breaking, but RECORD breaking.
THIS AIN'T NO CHARITY, but we made so much "Pink
Time" (new slang for "money") at
the Swag Table that I just now sent 10 percent of it to the temporarily hard-up
Mister Fernandinande LeMur! When the penny-pinching SubGenius Foundation sends
MONEY to an ARTIST, you KNOW it must have made out well that particular month.
The fact that the main Swaggart at the SubGoods table
was the delectable Magdalen,
and that she was "dressed" in a PIRATE THEMED BIKINI ENSEMBLE, may help explain
the unusual volume of $ales in Detroit, as opposed to the recent Cleveland devival,
where Rev. Toth Wilder and Pater Nostril manned the table, and not wearing bikinis,
neither. Next to Magdalen/Pirette, on the Amino Acids side of the $wag Table,
Senator Speck's really beautiful trainer, "Jennelle," was selling Amino Acids action
figures and T-shirts, etc. Perhaps this doesn't come as a huge surprise to some, but
so far, experimentation seems to verify over and over that people will buy five times
as much swag if attractive young women are vending it than if tall handsome SubGenius
males are acting as Swaggarts.
Another element affecting sales positively may possibly
be the fact that all four of the
rock bands performing at this devival for the Glory of "Bob" have sizeable followings,
and "FUCKIN' ROCK," to put it in the youth vernacular. Well over 300 bipeds turned out
for this show and most of them paid real money to get in.
Best of all, MOST OF THOSE 300 WERE UNSAVED! They didn't
know JACK SHIT about "Bob", nor
"Bob"shit about jack, they just knew they needed Slack. Recently I've been feeling like
I was preaching to the choir. That's great if you're trying out NEW MATERIAL, but our
intention here is to SAVE SOULS, GOD DAMN IT!! So I was VERY HAPPY to have a good reason
to get back to the old-fashioned, back-to-the-pamphlet, Stangian Orthodox fundamentalist
RECRUITMENT RANT, "BOB" 101 (2003 edition), basically the same lines everybody's already
heard a million times since ARISE was put out on video in 1985 - everybody except THIS
AUDIENCE! Besides, half the old-timer Subs were so drunk they probably could use the
I did however kipe two NEW lines that were FRESH from
iDRMRSR's mouth THAT VERY DAY:
"Believe for an Eve" and "Dollar a Holler".
SOULS WERE SAVED! NEW MINISTERS WERE BAPTISED! NEW COUPLES
WERE MARRIED! OLD MENTAL
ILLNESSES WERE REJUVENATED!
I was so inspired that I wore my POPE SUIT, made by
Rev. Bunny, covered top to bottom in
sequins. I only wear this at special shows. For it is VERY HOT, and HEAVY, like a Godzilla
or GWAR suit, or a gorilla costume.
I personally also got a huge kick from watching Rev.
Angry Larry perform an old-faashioned,
by-the-book SubGenius Short Duration Mass Marriage ceremony. So touching... such a
tear-jerker... such a jerker, period... I have delivered that sacred routine a godzillion
times;it felt good to see the tradition carried on and still swaying young couples towards
---------------------------- Detroretrovivital 0003 Photos on alt.binaries.slack
Princess Wei and I shot the Detroit photos; the Beachland
ones that I just posted actually
come from Rev. V and Rev. Ennie.
There are also a lot of photos there by Edfred of the
Euro-Devivals, which make me so fropsick
for fropsticks at the Grey Area in Amsterdam.
For those of you confused by this whole "alt"
thing, alt.binaries.slack is what's called a
Usenet newsgroup, in this case of the kind that carries giant files of pictures, movies and
MP3s. You can use Web browsers, and even AOL, to read newsgroup text and see pictures on
whatever newsgroups your ISP offers, but it'll be spotty and troublesome. If you use a
free newsreader program like Agent (PCs) or Thoth (Mac), and especially if you subscribe
to a newsgroup specialty service such as giganews.com, and if you're on broadband, it's very
quick and easy. And Usenet contains the wisdom of the ages, ripe for looting. Usenet is the
oldest substrata of the Internet and is often forgotten amongst file sharing and flashy
websites -- much to my personal great joy, because that leaves it less crowded for the serious
uploadster and downloaderer.
news:alt.binaries.slack, it goes without saying, is the greatest of all the multimedia newsgroups.
I will post some of those pics here. Takes for damn
EVER though. Also, I will send a VHS copy
of my war footage to that scary house on Gratiot soon as I fire up the dubbing engine.
IT WAS THE GREATEST OF ALL POSSIBLE DEVIVALS! Especially
if Time Control is used to "delete"
any previous devivals that might have been nearly as great.
Message 2 in Discussion
Because this devival was so sublimely, deliciously, fantastically, transcendantly awesome,
I have decided to write my report in haiku form, to better express its true inner Slackfulness.
Louder and harder
Smashing television sets-
Look at all this cash!
Punk fans going nuts;
What's the deal with this "Bob" thing?
One dollar? Okay!
Secret bukkake party?
Maybe, maybe not.
Coney Island dogs
Chili, mustard, onions too.
Four A.M.! Too Much!!
Snowing, freezing wind
Steam billows from the sewers.
Ah, good times, good times.
Since I am a poet here's my 411 on the devival: Arrived
only to be molested at the door, can
I help it I have great legs and should be adored? Beer for man? MAN... can I get an order of
that with a side of Amino Acids now as not-so-pink-in- fashion, I shall be the Rev. Marquessa
Dissolution: Forbidden Poet That Lives in the Unspeakable Abyss and is Bathed in Alienation...
A-L-I-E-N- NATION. Praise "Bob" I converted 2, one by short duration marriage- who I actually
might keep around the other over Coneys at 3am downtown. Spent all my money on shit I don't
need but eternal salvation will be my reward indeed; Rev's Stang, Magdalen, and Andew 'twas
nice to meet you what the fuck is an alt.binaries.slack newgroup? That is ALL.
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