Evil pedophiles tempted by topless beach kid

From: Modemac <modemac@modemac.com>
Date: Mon, Aug 11, 2003

Well...okay, there weren't any REAL pedophiles in the area near this
kid. But there COULD have been! So of course it's necessary to
punish the mother who dared expose her daughter on the beach! How are
we supposed to PROTECT THE CHILDREN when people keep flaunting the law
like this?!?

August 2, 2003

BY JACK KRESNAK
FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER

It may be all right for girls to bathe topless in pools in, say,
Brazil, but don't try going topless at a water park in Detroit -- even
if you're only 3 years old.

Karima Sorel and her daughter Suhayla Smith, 3, learned that the hard
way Wednesday when security guards at Wayne County's Chandler Park
Family Aquatic Park called police on Sorel because she allowed her
daughter to play in the pool topless.

Sorel, of Detroit, said she came to the park at about 11:30 a.m.
Wednesday. The park, complete with water slides, wave and wading
pools, is owned by Wayne County and managed by Winco Enterprises of
Detroit.

Suhayla had her bikini bottom on, but her mother had forgotten the
matching top.

"If I had the top, I would have put it on her," Sorel said Friday.

But Sorel saw nothing wrong with her daughter going topless, just like
the 3-year-old boys splashing around in the pool.

Topless toddlers apparently can spark lust in adults who are sexually
attracted to children -- at least that's what Sorel said the park's
security guards repeatedly told her during the standoff.

"If there are pedophiles in your park, please harass them and leave my
daughter and me alone," Sorel said she told the guards.

So Sorel held her ground -- or better still -- waded deeper into the
pool.

The guards then threatened to call Detroit police on Sorel and her
topless tot. And finally, at Sorel's own urging, they did.

At about 1 p.m., a police officer from the 5th (Jefferson) Precinct
arrived, assessed the situation and, according to Sorel, told the park
manager, Lorenzo Douglas, Sorel was doing nothing wrong.

Sorel said Douglas apologized. On Friday, Douglas declined comment,
referring a reporter to Wayne County officials.

Sharon Banks, a spokeswoman for County Executive Robert Ficano, said
the park personnel are working to maintain a family atmosphere where
rules are consistently enforced.

Sorel said she and her husband, New York restaurateur Charles Sorel,
have visited beaches in Brazil where swimsuits are a mere accessory.

"What I'm not understanding is the sexualization of a 3-year-old,"
Sorel said.

--
First Online Church of "Bob"
http://www.modemac.com/

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From: idrmrsr <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

She was ASKING for it!

[*]
-----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Ankara" <uh-huh@somewhere.com>

heh...the voice of reason.....

"If there are pedophiles in your park, please harass them and leave my
daughter and me alone," Sorel said she told the guards.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Modemac wrote:
> ...Topless toddlers apparently can spark lust
> in adults who are sexually attracted to
> children -- at least that's what Sorel said
> the park's security guards repeatedly told
> her during the standoff...

Here's an idea! Why not totally re-do the laws
of the United States to criminalize things that
incite people with no common sense.

In a way, it's almost like racism, the way people
will flaunt their common sense at the expense of
those who are truly common senseless.

For example: someone without common sense is
sitting on the end of a tree branch, while
sawing off that same branch between himself and
the tree! Well, *obviously* the owner of the
tree has set up this situation to humiliate and
possibly injure the sawer, a person with no
common sense. AND THEY SHOULD PAY FOR IT.

Another example: Little Bobby has no common sense,
and he is running through the school hallway with
a shapened pencil in his mouth, point first. But
before he can trip and fall and grievously injure
himself BECAUSE OF THE SCHOOL'S NEGLIGENCE, his
principal, who also lacks common sense, has little
Bobby arrested by the police for violating the
school's zero tolerance policies against sharpened
weapons and drugs, that being the lead in the pencil
he would swallow, possibly getting him "high",
before he died of lead poisoning.
AND IT IS THE PRINCIPAL WHO SHOULD BE COMPENSATED
FOR BEING VERBALLY ASSAULTED BY LITTLE BOBBY'S
PARENTS FOR BEING AN "IDIOT", WHEN, IN FACT, HIS
ONLY DISABILITY WAS BEING "COMMON SENSE OTHER-ABLED."

From petty incidents to full-fledged Darwin Award
Winning fatalities, the people who lack common sense
are America's true persecuted majority, and it's
about time that they get the recognition and rewards
that they have earned, over and over and over and
over and over again. Especially for voting.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nu-monet v6.0 <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Modemac wrote:
> > ...Topless toddlers apparently can spark lust
> > in adults who are sexually attracted to
> > children -- at least that's what Sorel said
> > the park's security guards repeatedly told
> > her during the standoff...
> >
>
> Here's an idea! Why not totally re-do the laws
> of the United States to criminalize things that
> incite people with no common sense.
>
> In a way, it's almost like racism, the way people
> will flaunt their common sense at the expense of
> those who are truly common senseless.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote a long parable urging something along these lines,
but everybody took it to be a sarcastic fictional short story. The
tall, strong and healthy had to wear iron weights so that the weak,
spineless and stupid wouldn't be forced to feel unlucky, something like
that.

> For example: someone without common sense is
> sitting on the end of a tree branch, while
> sawing off that same branch between himself and
> the tree! Well, *obviously* the owner of the
> tree has set up this situation to humiliate and
> possibly injure the sawer, a person with no
> common sense. AND THEY SHOULD PAY FOR IT.
>
> Another example: Little Bobby has no common sense,
> and he is running through the school hallway with
> a shapened pencil in his mouth, point first. But
> before he can trip and fall and grievously injure
> himself BECAUSE OF THE SCHOOL'S NEGLIGENCE, his
> principal, who also lacks common sense, has little
> Bobby arrested by the police for violating the
> school's zero tolerance policies against sharpened
> weapons and drugs, that being the lead in the pencil
> he would swallow, possibly getting him "high",
> before he died of lead poisoning.
> AND IT IS THE PRINCIPAL WHO SHOULD BE COMPENSATED
> FOR BEING VERBALLY ASSAULTED BY LITTLE BOBBY'S
> PARENTS FOR BEING AN "IDIOT", WHEN, IN FACT, HIS
> ONLY DISABILITY WAS BEING "COMMON SENSE OTHER-ABLED."
>
> From petty incidents to full-fledged Darwin Award
> Winning fatalities, the people who lack common sense
> are America's true persecuted majority, and it's
> about time that they get the recognition and rewards
> that they have earned, over and over and over and
> over and over again. Especially for voting.

Aren't you describing a situation that more or less already exists in
the U.S.?

iDRMRSR was considering going to Amsterdam. Now, one thing I remember
from there, DESPITE the lax laws on pot smoking, are the relatively lax
laws on everything else. There appeared to be NO LAWS AGAINST
STUPIDITY. In other words, if you wanted to walk in front of a
streetcar and get killed, you were perfectly within your rights to do
so. There were NO PROTECTIVE RAILS. In the U.S., there'd be three ROWS
of protective rails, each with its own set of instructions engraved in
3 languages, explaining that if you vault over the rails and run in
front of the streetcar, there's a LIMIT on how much money your family
can sue the city for.

In Holland, if you want to wreck your lungs by smoking, or whatever,
not only is it okay, there are no laws on the books about it one way or
the other! In the U.S. on the other hand it is illegal to injure
yourself or make yourself sick, on account of it might inconvenience
your fellow citizens and lower the gross national product.

But, if the Dutch are gonna outlaw pot smoking again, I fear it may
also presage laws against stupidity, and the next thing you know
they'll be JUST LIKE AMERICANS -- SCARED SHITLESS of things like
stairs, or wearing the wrong color tie.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Ankara <uh-huh@somewhere.com> wrote:
> It's called Harrison Bergeron (1961)
>
> "SubSpecies23" wrote in message
> > << Kurt Vonnegut wrote a long parable urging something along these lines,
> > but everybody took it to be a sarcastic fictional short story. The
> > tall, strong and healthy had to wear iron weights so that the weak,
> > spineless and stupid wouldn't be forced to feel unlucky, something like
> > that. >>
> >
> > I remember that one, it's one of his best stories. I suddenly forget what
> it
> > is called. I could go look it up in my book of Vonnegut short stories,
> but I'm
> > too lazy.

Hey, Citizen, you're making SubSpecies23 and me feel guilty for our
laziness, poor memories and ignorance. You should be ashamed of
yourself. That'll be three demerits and 5 Praise "Bobs". Wear this neck
brace.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

"Ankara" <uh-huh@somewhere.com> wrote:
> It's called Harrison Bergeron (1961)

It should be updated and retitled "Entertainment Tonight," or maybe
"American Idol." I also recommend that "The Great Space Fuck" be made
mandatory reading in junior high.

--

HellPope Huey, hellpopehuey@subgenius.com
thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company

"Compared to you, he's a whole other SPECIES.
You should be his pet!"
- "Malcolm In The Middle"

Don't get mad at somebody who knows more'n you do.
It ain't his fault.
- Texas Bix Bender


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