(((((ASDM)))))

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Fri, May 16, 2003

Rev. 11D Meow! <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org> wrote:
> I'm so embarrassed.
>
> This ferkin' cold hit me again and I've gone insane.
>
> Went and PISSED-OFF the only other group left that even comes close to
> something I'd join if I was a joiner.
>
> How did I do that, you ask?
>
> I said, "devo sucks raw weiner thongs!"
>
> WOW! I got plonked by one of the head honcho SubGenius dudes for it.

No you didn't. You got plonked by me for posting 20 stupid things per
hour for days. The devo comment had nothing to do with it. It was only
one of many Slack-degrading posts. I was responding not to you, but to
Epoch's decision to plonk you.

Only I didn't really killfile you yet, because I sincerely wanted to
see if you would misunderstand, which you indeed did.

I will say this as clearly as possible: Everything that comes into your
head is NOT worth posting. (This is also true of EVERY SINGLEOTHER
SUBGENIUS AND HUMAN.)

I suggest writing all the drunken nonsense you want, but when you're
about to hit "SEND," -- DON'T! His "SAVE" instead. Sleep on it. Read it
again the next day. Then post it, if you really think that the many
silly blatherings you spewed out drunk are still of such great interest
to others. That's what I do. Or what I ATTEMPT to do, rather.

There is a secret file in my computer of all the stuff I didn't send.
You DON'T want to see what's in it. Neither do I.

If you can just CHILL for a little while, after a few days, nobody will
remember your 'bout of shittiness, because some other wretch will have
contracted diarrhea of the keyboard. Then it's your turn to mock the
drunk.

> If they only knew my sense of humor is totally phucked by having to live in
> this crazy mixed-up multiverse and have put up with stuff that is so sad
> it's not even funny.
>
> The weird part is, I'm so phucking shook up about having been plonked in the
> only other group I actually fit in...
> My hands are shaking and it's not from the booze for once.
>
> I guess I should just shut up and play Solitaire and leave the cool stuff
> for everybody else.

Actually you just picked a real dumb way to show off. Apparently nobody
else was as drunk as you at the time.

I know how it is. I fucked up so bad that I had to either quit drinking
for good or quit posting for good.

Just remember that the the SEND button can be as powerful as the mighty
OFF button on the TV. Sometimes the best way to use it is to just leave
it untouched.

"The way to appear wise is this: every time you think of something
stupid to say, DON'T SAY IT."

There was a time when Governor Rocknar was likewise fucked up, but he
took those words to heart, and now he is a famous SubGenius. Famous for
WHAT is a whole nother thing, but hey.

What I just said to you for free, cost Rocknar ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS.
But he actually LISTENED and TOOK HEED. It was WORTH IT to him and to
us.

WILL YOU BE EVEN SMARTER THAN ROCKNAR?? Will you heed the good advice,
WITHOUT having paid $1,000?

I'd RATHER you paid the $1,00 and THEN take heed.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

as much as I'd like to believe you and only you are my twin unspoken to for
all these many years . . .

Thank You.

yes, you are most correct.

alcohol is my most endearingly best and worst fren.

Your words, oh mighty one, have shown me one and only one thing. . .

Slack Can Only Be Introduced As Frens.

please and thank you

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

PS. CONNIE tells me I'm kinda cute

she spends more of her time here than anyone can imagine.

snuh?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Magdalen" <magdalen@subgenius.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
> Rev. 11D Meow! <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org> wrote
>> I'm so embarrassed.
>>
>>
>> This ferkin' cold hit me again and I've gone insane.
>>
>> Went and PISSED-OFF the only other group left that even comes close
>> to something I'd join if I was a joiner.
>>
>>
>> How did I do that, you ask?
>>
>>
>> I said, "devo sucks raw weiner thongs!"
>>
>>
>> WOW! I got plonked by one of the head honcho SubGenius dudes for it.
>
> No you didn't. You got plonked by me for posting 20 stupid things per
> hour for days. The devo comment had nothing to do with it. It was
> only one of many Slack-degrading posts. I was responding not to you,
> but to Epoch's decision to plonk you.
>
> Only I didn't really killfile you yet, because I sincerely wanted to
> see if you would misunderstand, which you indeed did.
>
> I will say this as clearly as possible: Everything that comes into
> your head is NOT worth posting. (This is also true of EVERY
> SINGLEOTHER SUBGENIUS AND HUMAN.)
>
> I suggest writing all the drunken nonsense you want, but when you're
> about to hit "SEND," -- DON'T! His "SAVE" instead. Sleep on it. Read
> it again the next day. Then post it, if you really think that the many
> silly blatherings you spewed out drunk are still of such great
> interest to others. That's what I do. Or what I ATTEMPT to do, rather.
>
> There is a secret file in my computer of all the stuff I didn't send.
> You DON'T want to see what's in it. Neither do I.
>
> If you can just CHILL for a little while, after a few days, nobody
> will remember your 'bout of shittiness, because some other wretch
> will have contracted diarrhea of the keyboard. Then it's your turn to
> mock the drunk.

Unless, of course, he turns out to be Bob Dean, who mysteriously "left
the internet for about ten days" right about when this guy showed up.

--
They are mean because they are rejects from society.

--Bill Palmer on SubGenii

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

Guess What!

I and only i can deal with Bob Dean

new and original thought can be most entertaining for the one whom thought
it.

I gave up on redial after a most endearing accident.

sham on me!

when the moon turns poiple and the sun is black some sadder flanks are
BBQed.....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

tex ass style, that are . . .

- - - -

so sorry!

I'm a drunk gone HAYWIRE.

and can still type, so there . .

love your mother

fuck your father and cum back and tell me it wan't a 'good' time?

my mommy is GOD

"BOB" can keep letting (as if there's an ownership thing there) CONNIE sleep
over here as long as SHE wants me instead of 'him'.

a multiphor

send the DEVO death-squad after me

i have no place to hide

should be an easy target

yet, (secret mission? EYE THINK KNOT)

you decide...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Blackout" <blackout@404subgenius.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote
> No you didn't. You got plonked by me for posting 20 stupid things per
> hour for days. The devo comment had nothing to do with it. It was only
> one of many Slack-degrading posts. I was responding not to you, but to
> Epoch's decision to plonk you.

I up an plonked him just to see if he had the guts to gowan hed en soak
hisself down with gazoleen and laht himself on fahr lahk thet boodist monk
done did when he was a'sad cuz he done got himself rejected by alla them
other monks fer shootin' off at the mouth and actin' lahk a real DUMBASS
after they tole him to shut his PAH HOLE about 10,000 times alreddy.

somebody tell me if the little fahkwod dun DID IT so I can commence ta
LAUGHIN' MAH ASS OFF

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

I already said a lit sink full of Butane can be most enLIGHTening.

so there

neener neener neener

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

"Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org> wrote:
> I'm so embarrassed.

You'll get over it.

> This ferkin' cold hit me again and I've gone insane.

Don't blame it on the cold.

> Went and PISSED-OFF the only other group left that even comes close to
> something I'd join if I was a joiner.

You didn't piss off the group, just some people in it.
They'll get over it, and if they don't fuck 'em. It only mean's
they've forgotten what THEY were like when THEY first arrived.

> How did I do that, you ask?
>
> I said, "devo sucks raw weiner thongs!"

Yeah... that would do it. Look, musicians never suck because of their
music. They suck because they SELL-OUT, and Devo never did that. Nana
Muskori doesn't suck. Neither does Johnny Cash, Madonna or even Cher.
Musicians who's love of their art brings them Slack never suck.

> WOW! I got plonked by one of the head honcho SubGenius dudes for it.

He probably doesn't mean it. He's actually a very kind person who
only appears wrathful from time to time. He'll probably read this and
reconsider. Just don't suck up, OK? He really hates that! That's
what makes him so unique in the world of messianic cult leaders, and is
why we all love him so much....

> If they only knew my sense of humor is totally phucked by having to live in
> this crazy mixed-up multiverse and have put up with stuff that is so sad
> it's not even funny.

OK, here's a clue. We're ALL living that awareness. Most of us for
far too many years. It's probably the only thing we have in common.
How we deal with it varies, Slack being a gnostic pursuit, but it also
takes on an element of community, and like all communities, it has a
hierarchy, a divine pecking order.

First thing you need to know is that most of the posters here know each
other in the real world, if not from constant association, then at
least from various devivals and X-days that have occured over the last
20 odd years. I'm one of the more peripheral Yeti, yet (pun) even
*I* have met a half-dozen of the saved. In short, we're in it for
the long haul. We don't have time for people who look like they'll
wander off once they fail to get the attention they think they deserve.

Second thing to know is that 30 bucks to Bob only gets you in the door.
What happens after that is entirely up to you. Making a big splash in
the pool may be fun, but it gets everyone else wet. Try reading Lao
Tzu's Tao Te Ching, it's chock full of useful clues, in fact most
people here are Tao Ninja's. That's one of the dark secrets of the
Church. We actually ARE a religion. I, for example am a Secret Sikh.
(sorry, no turban)

> The weird part is, I'm so phucking shook up about having been plonked in the
> only other group I actually fit in...
> My hands are shaking and it's not from the booze for once.

Ah yes... fitting in, Vs, standing out. The unavoidable conflict.
Couple of points. Fitting in isn't always about agreeing on stuff, but
it IS about respect. Sometimes that has to do with form, like not
filling up the group with countless maniacal posts, sometimes it's
about content, like having something to say that we haven't all heard a
thousand times before. Often it's better to just lay in wait, like the
noble polar bear, and only pounce when a seal actually appears.

As for the booze. Keep it for the summer barB-Q. If you really do
have a problem with it, now is the time to face up and deal with it,
while you're still young. Same goes for the drugs. Rev Mags is
absolutely right on that count, in fact it's in the holy scripture:
False Drugs = False Slack. Seriously dude, outside of crime, drugs and
booze are the surest way to ruin your life. Try saying to yourself,
yeah, I can do drugs, but today, by Dobbs, I CHOOSE NOT TO! Do that
for a few days, a week, even a month. If you don't see an improvement,
well hell, you can always go back. That part's easy.

> I guess I should just shut up and play Solitaire and leave the cool stuff
> for everybody else.

Shutting up for a while wouldn't hurt, but posting well thought out
replies, and interesting stories would be better. You're writing for
an audience here, and a very critical one at that, so like it or not,
you're gonna be judged. If, like Colonel Kurtz, you believe that
judgement defeats us, you'll probably wither. On the other hand, if
you recognize that your own intuition might not always be your best
guide, then try listening to what people around you are saying. These
are potential future friends of the lifelong variety we're talking
about here. You don't find THAT under every rock you kick over.

> zanx manx, you rock

Tum mera dil, tum meri jaan!

Did you get that? It means keep the jargon to a minimum if you want to
be understood. This Church is a global conspiracy. We even have
French people here. Do you see them talking French?

Ok, that's it. Agree or not, I said it 'cos I like you. You took some
time and helped me with a problem. Assholes don't do that, so you get
a Divine Second Chance (tm) COS I SAID SO!

we now return you to our regular programming........

polar bear

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Blackout" <blackout@404subgenius.com>

"polar bear"

oh look, a dead horse flogging SCIENTIST

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

not quoting to save band-width . . .

yes yes no yes no and yes

if you can't unnerstan(no reason for the d's) 'ZANX MANX', not my problem .
. .

saving a little ENERGY for a rill store eye . . .

here?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

I'm the nicest guy CONNIE ever met.
Is why she spends her time here instead of with "BOB".

"Death to All and Happy Spring" <menbyte837546@nospam.com> wrote:
Jest try being nice.
It won't kill you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Death to All and Happy Spring" <menbyte837546@nospam.com>

Bob Up!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

as CONNIE so kindly reminds me at the oddest moments...

BOB it!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Death to All and Happy Spring" <menbyte837546@nospam.com>

Frum da looks of it, it already waz.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Death to All and Happy Spring" <menbyte837546@nospam.com>

I been telling him that for years... Doubt he will listen to you and at long long last GIT it.
But one can hope....

There is a secret file in my computer of all the stuff I didn't send.
You DON'T want to see what's in it. Neither do I.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

seeing as how the next morning is time to find a Bloody Mary, this is a task
for Paul Bunyan.

CHILL? In the words of a famous, now dead Manic-Depress 'survivor' . . .

Jimi Hendrix
Are You Experienced? (1967)
Manic Depression

Manic depression is touching my soul
I know what I want but I just don't know
How to, go about gettin' it
Feeling sweet feeling,
Drops from my fingers, fingers
Manic depression is catchin' my soul

Woman so weary, the sweet cause in vain
You make love, you break love
It's all the same
When it's, when it's over, mama
Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess

Well, I think I'll go turn myself off,
And go on down
All the way down
Really ain't no use in me hanging around
In your kinda scene

Music, sweet music
I wish I could caress, caress, caress
Manic depression is a frustrating mess

Ow! ow!
Music sweet music sweet music
Sweet music sweet music
Hooo!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Death to All and Happy Spring" <menbyte837546@nospam.com>

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Search upcoming listings: Advanced Search

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. 11D Meow!" <Meow@Kitty-Kitty.org>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

polar bear <bear@pole.com> wrote:

> He probably doesn't mean it. He's actually a very kind person who
> only appears wrathful from time to time. He'll probably read this and
> reconsider. Just don't suck up, OK? He really hates that! That's
> what makes him so unique in the world of messianic cult leaders, and is
> why we all love him so much....

GOT DAMN IT!!!

Actually your thoughtful response was super excellent in my opinion.

Being not all that far removed from Rev. 11DMeow I am both very
sympathetic to him and totally out of patience with him at the same
time.

Hell, I'm envious that he can still get that drunk. If I tried to do
that nowadays I'd probably DIE. And the nature of the Alcohol Demons is
they make you remember your times with them so FONDLY. Even if your
brain cells remember the bad parts, all the other nerve cells just
remember the GOOD parts.

I can recall Rev. 11D Meow being an un-irritating personage of funny
blurtings prior to this week so I expect he'll shift modes eventually.

When I got on this newsgroup around 1994 I was the new guy. I was even
on AOL! And I made every newbie mistake. And I got drunk and posted
obnoxiousness. There were people here even then who had ALREADY been in
it for YEARS! (Believe it or not, this is one of the earliest
newsgroups formed, RELATIVE to what came later.) I felt dumb compared
to them. They showed such PATIENCE while still being divinely snide.
Dr. Dynasoar for instance.

But I NEVER would have believed that I would become such a geek that by
2003 (which wasn't even supposed to EXIST after '98 really) I would be
one of those grizzled alt.slack veterans myself, in fact, one the LAST
from that ancient time of 1994.

During that Tooth Decayed Decade, I saw quite a few eccentric
personalities go through quite a few changes, and lots of people saw me
go through some too.

Bottom line, I am so used to fuck-ups from all directions that I
consider it a WONDERFUL MIRACLE everytime everything ISN'T fucked up,
and I try not to hold grudges over Internet freakouts. When I think the
fuckupery comes from meanness I am less likely to blow it off. But most
of the time it's just that many of us SubGenii are, like many mammals,
emotional creatures, and we go through these "phases", some of which
are just incredibly irritating, but thankfully temporary. "FUNNY LITTLE
MONKEYS," I keep telling myself. A mantra given to me by Dr. Onan
Canobite.

On the other hand I expect drunks to eventually cure themselves or die.
There's nothing I or anybody else can do about a drunk. Only the drunk
can help the drunk. I should fucking know. Now where's my frappy.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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Original file name: Re- (((((ASDM))))).txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05