From: Frere Jean Bleu <>
Date: Fri, Apr 9, 2004 (The Stull Demon)wrote:
>OK. This hate-filled place has a special HATE in its heart for animal
>rights activists. You've shown that on countless occasions. But watch
>CHEW ON THIS, the new pro-Veg message from Peta, and tell me how you
>can defend the butchery. You can't. You KNOW it's wrong. Like Ingrid
>said: "Remember this: Rights movements never go away. They always get
>stronger, they always attract more people, and there is no point
>whatsoever in wasting your time fighting them because we will grow,
>and we will win."

In recent years we have heard a great deal about racism, sexism,
ageism and animal rights, but the crucial political issue of the
decade is still to be faced. All over the world, plants are being
subjected to degrading and inhumane treatment from animals, with
nobody to stand up for their rights.


This is the ultimate Green issue. We, as animals, should be ashamed of
the way we have treated the vegetable beings with whom we share this
planet, exploiting them purely for our own pleasure and with no regard
to their wishes. For example:

* Plants are regularly bred solely to be killed and eaten, usually
while they are still young.

* Vegetables are factory farmed under highly intensive conditions,
often with as little as 25 of ground space each.

* They are frequently force fed with growth hormones and fertilisers
by unscrupulous farmers who are only interested in making a profit.

* Many plants are forced to fruit at unnatural times of the year in
order to command higher prices.

* They are subjected to genetic experiments purely in order to make
them more palatable to human tastes.

* They are regularly sprayed with noxious pesticides, and increasingly
deliberately subjected to dangerous gamma radiation.

* They are transported long distances by train and ship while packed
in inhumane conditions.

* Because of the Common Agricultural Policy, they may be kept for
months in claustrophobic conditions in huge silos, and sometimes
deliberately destroyed and ploughed back into the ground to keep
prices high.

Vegetables did not ask to be treated like this. They are gentle,
peace-loving beings whose only desire is to live in harmony with the
world, and whose only crime is that they cannot defend themselves. We
in the vegetable rights movement are committed to seeing that the
cruel and degrading abuse of plants is ended immediately. We believe
that nobody has the right to eat another being, whether animal or
vegetable, without its permission. Since most animals and vegetables
cannot speak to give their permission this means that we must only eat
other human beings. We therefore demand that a law be passed to make
eating illegal except between consenting adults. None of the other
parties are sufficiently enlightened to support this policy which is
why you must vote for our candidates*. (Admittedly, Ken Livingstone is
rumoured to eat babies, but not on ideological grounds, so this does
not count.)

Remember: if you eat vegetables you are eating the decaying remains of
a dead plant.

Put an end to the cruel and degrading treatment of vegetables now.


* If there is no Vegetable Rights candidate in your constituency then
support the Conservative candidate. This is the nearest you can get to
voting for a vegetable.


From: "nu-monet v6.0" <>

Frere Jean Bleu wrote:
> * They are subjected to genetic experiments
> purely in order to make them more palatable
> to human tastes.

I have a theory that if you take 20 No-Doze(tm),
grind them up then make them into a solution
with a pint of 5% fructose water at 75 degrees
for an enema, and AT THE SAME TIME as you are
giving someone that enema, you feed them 20
Benedryl(tm) antihistimes, the two will actually
CANCEL EACH OTHER OUT. Especially if you run
house current through them at the time.

It helps if you are huffing nitrous oxide when
you perform the experiment. And use a plastic
sheet like Gallagher in case they explode like
the other ones.

Come to think of it, I think that's how Gallagher
got started. It takes some serious muscles to do
that to a human skull.

I don't know what you're talking about.
I've never met you before in my life.
That story sounds like utter bullshit.
I wasn't there and it wasn't me.
I am *not* in denial. Shut up.

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