The Hulk- A Review

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Thu, Jun 12, 2003

NeuroManson <dogegoops@attbi.com> wrote:
> "nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
> > NeuroManson wrote:
> > > Well, downloaded the movie from alt.binaries.movies today, and let me
> tell
> > > you:
> >
> > No. I think it's pathetic that you even bothered. What are you,
> thirteen?
>
> Nope, but if I'm gonna hate a movie, I'm gonna watch it so I can PROPERLY
> hate it.

I agree with this post, and also with your assessment of the famous
director's shitty movie.

The way the machine gun bullets would sprinkle on his skin like little
raindrops was cool, but that only lasted 3 seconds.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

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From: hellpopehuey@subgenius.com (HellPopeHuey)

Heh...I love how Stang called me & Dok Nenslo "megabitchers" and then
alla YOUSE guys rip a flick that's not even released yet, only to tear
it a new one with dramatic ennui. At least *I* go expecting little
more than eye candy. I would be most pleased to see more film that WAS
film and not a sequence of pricey video farts, but WE ASKED FOR IT as
kids and now that we are older, shinier and more advanced creatures,
ALLEGEDLY, we're all pissy because we helped create a world in which
doofii define so much of the goods.

I would never go to SEE a Hulk movie for the deep emotion or drama;
I'll go to see him burst through the side of a house. Boy, I'd love to
do that, especially at Blackout's place, eieieiei!! I kicked in an oak
door once, so I COULD do it. I am simply a gennulman and choose not to
do so.

Now if you wanna see some quirky story twists, give the surprising
Andy Griffith vehicle "A Face In The Crowd" a look. Its old & weird &
ultimately predictable, but it also has some passion and charm. CGI
has no inherent charm. You guys are feeling gypped because mere
sequential image files aren't tweeking yer twiddlers. Now if the Hulk
tore down that infamous Capitol Records building and hollered "HULK
SMASH BAD TASTE!", THEN I'd be charmed. Your priorities are out of
whack.

--

HellPope Huey @ hellpopehuey@subgenius.com, C57-D/ae-35/999
Gimme that old-time derision

"We will crush you and smother your dreams.
Yours In Christ, the Cavalry Kids."
- "The Simpsons"

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day;
give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying
for a fish."
- Unknown

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

I agree with these parts of this post. I don't have an opinion about
a movie I haven't seen, but I do know this: if you see a movie about
a guy who turns into a big green monster in purple cutoffs every time
he gets mad you just look like a dumbass listing all the ways it
wasn't good. Maybe in all the continuous blur of bullshit here nobody
has ever noticed that I don't post reviews of movies I DIDN'T like.
As I said a decade or more ago, "Any idiot can find something WRONG
with ANYTHING - THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM IDIOTS."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@attbi.com>

Well, y'see, shy of the work from Chris Claremont and the odd rare comic
inbetween, Marvel was already on the road of not giving a fuck about the
storylines since about 1979.

My mom used to work for them as an editor for their abortive attempt at
large format magazines (when they were trying to compete with Heavy Metal
and Creepy magazine), specifically The Hulk, Howard the Duck, Bizarre
Adventures, and the occasional issue of Conan when they couldn't find anyone
else willing to do it.

Political correctness was infiltrating the comics industry, a good
example of this is when the gays bitched at her for a scene where Bruce
Banner was about to take a ride on a salami sled in a gay bath house.
Similarly, even though Marvel was attempting to appeal to an adult market,
she later got fired for allowing titties to be seen in what was, for the
time, a fairly cool comic called "Paradox" (which died a painful death a
year or so down the line when it was revisited, this time with Steve Ditko
and some hack writer, I believe it was Larry Hama). Nothing worst than a job
you get fired from for doing what you're supposed to.

So at least on my part, I have a certain level of insider knowlege of
WHY The Hulk sucks. It's a miracle that they were able to do anything with
X-Men and Spiderman, but I get the impression that Marvel writers don't
really have much to do with the production process nowadays, other than a
"based on" or "created by" credit.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

NeuroManson wrote:
> So at least on my part, I have a certain level of insider knowlege of
> WHY The Hulk sucks.

Some day I hope you will come to understand the difference between
opinion and fact. You didn't like it, and you have a list of reasons
why. That's the factual part. You just watch how much money is made
this weekend catering to teenage boys, wrestling fans, Dads, and other
varieties of dumbass with a movie which allows them to enjoy their
fantasy that becoming enraged makes one INCREDIBLY POWERFUL instead of
ridiculous and vulnerable as in real life.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@attbi.com>

So you agree with me for the factual part which I based my opinions on, but
disagree with my opinions for the facts of the real world (tm)? Thank you,
my head will now explode.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

It is my belief that you know what your own opinions are, that they
are based on your perceptions of events and objects, and that you have
a right to state them. I don't understand the second half of that
statement - "... disagree with my opinions for the facts of the real
world (tm)." I think it's the "for" that confuses me. I do not
disagree with your opinions, only with your assertion of them as if
they were fact, i.e. the statement "it sucks," which is an inaccurate
and erroneous substitution for the more correct "I didn't like it."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Joe Cosby <joecosby@SPAMBLOCKmindspring.com>

nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
>It is my belief that you know what your own opinions are, that they
>are based on your perceptions of events and objects, and that you have
>a right to state them.

AND A DARING BELIEF IT IS!

--
Joe Cosby
http://joecosby.home.mindspring.com

"...there is no need to worry. The numbers are being assigned
according to the system, but I don't know what the system is. I have
discussed this around the office, and no one has received any
information on what the system is doing."

- quoted from a reply e-mail from eBay customer support posted on RCC

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@attbi.com>

"nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
> It is my belief that you know what your own opinions are, that they
> are based on your perceptions of events and objects, and that you have
> a right to state them. I don't understand the second half of that
> statement - "... disagree with my opinions for the facts of the real
> world (tm)." I think it's the "for" that confuses me. I do not
> disagree with your opinions, only with your assertion of them as if
> they were fact, i.e. the statement "it sucks," which is an inaccurate
> and erroneous substitution for the more correct "I didn't like it."

Actually no, it DID suck. Ari Lee's direction is a heavy swipe of "avant
garde" editing used by DePalma, only it's done as if it's all he could learn
from American cinema. So he does it. Every 5 seconds of the goddamned movie.
Literally.

Just because he was the only one who could apparently fill Americans in on
wire work usage in martial arts scenes (despite the fact that it existed for
decades before Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), does not make him an expert,
a genius, nor a competant director.

The only good thing about the work print, was a botched rough CG scene with
the Hulk where the pants kept clipping, eg; merging with and disappearing
into adjacent objects. In this case, the Hulk's skin, so it looked like he
was wearing a thong at times. Funny stuff. Pity it won't be in the final
version, or the ladies would have an excuse to watch it.;)

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: bobdiddley@aol.com (Bobdiddley)

dogegoops said:
>Actually no, it DID suck. Ari Lee's
Excuse me, not being a 'what's happening today'-type film buff, but isn't that
Ang Lee?

direction is a heavy swipe of "avant
>garde" editing used by DePalma, only it's done as if it's all he could learn
>from American cinema. So he does it. Every 5 seconds of the goddamned movie.
>Literally.
>
>Just because he was the only one who could apparently fill Americans in on
>wire work usage in martial arts scenes (despite the fact that it existed for
>decades before Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), does not make him an expert,
>a genius, nor a competant director.

The 'illogical flying' bit was done much better (if only for the surprise of
its being my first time to see it) in a low-budget Jamaican action film called
Countryman. A gang of thugs attacked the hero, and he jumped up an failed to
come back down in the time they thought to be possible. He surprised them, and
the audience, by coming down on their heads after some of the gang had knocked
the other thugs out of the picture. It's a good movie, partly because that bit
was used only briefly. Then they reverted to plot and character to resolve the
remaining issues.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@attbi.com>

"Bobdiddley" <bobdiddley@aol.com> wrote:
> dogegoops said:
>
> >Actually no, it DID suck. Ari Lee's
> Excuse me, not being a 'what's happening today'-type film buff, but isn't
that
> Ang Lee?

Ang Lee. Right. I was drunk, sorry.

> > direction is a heavy swipe of "avant
> >garde" editing used by DePalma, only it's done as if it's all he could
learn
> >from American cinema. So he does it. Every 5 seconds of the goddamned
movie.
> >Literally.
> >
> >Just because he was the only one who could apparently fill Americans in
on
> >wire work usage in martial arts scenes (despite the fact that it existed
for
> >decades before Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), does not make him an
expert,
> >a genius, nor a competant director.
> >
> The 'illogical flying' bit was done much better (if only for the surprise
of
> its being my first time to see it) in a low-budget Jamaican action film
called
> Countryman. A gang of thugs attacked the hero, and he jumped up an failed
to
> come back down in the time they thought to be possible. He surprised them,
and
> the audience, by coming down on their heads after some of the gang had
knocked
> the other thugs out of the picture. It's a good movie, partly because that
bit
> was used only briefly. Then they reverted to plot and character to resolve
the
> remaining issues.

I remember watching Bastard Swordsman in a Chinatown (NY) movie theater, the
only way to properly watch goodbad martial arts flicks, the flying wire
scenes made no fucking sense, but they were fun for the sheer cheese value
(this was made about 20-25 years ago).

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

NeuroManson wrote:
> "Bobdiddley" <bobdiddley@aol.com> wrote:
> > dogegoops said:
> >
> > >Actually no, it DID suck. Ari Lee's
> > Excuse me, not being a 'what's happening today'-type film buff, but isn't
> that
> > Ang Lee?
>
> Ang Lee. Right. I was drunk, sorry.

That explains it. Drunks have a natural disconnect between fact and
belief. Sorry I wasted my time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@attbi.com>

Sorry, I was sober when I watched it. Maybe if I chugged a few Steel
Reserves it would have seemed better. Then my opinion would have been twice
flawed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

NeuroManson wrote:
> "nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
> > It is my belief that you know what your own opinions are, that they
> > are based on your perceptions of events and objects, and that you have
> > a right to state them. I don't understand the second half of that
> > statement - "... disagree with my opinions for the facts of the real
> > world (tm)." I think it's the "for" that confuses me. I do not
> > disagree with your opinions, only with your assertion of them as if
> > they were fact, i.e. the statement "it sucks," which is an inaccurate
> > and erroneous substitution for the more correct "I didn't like it."
>
> Actually no, it DID suck.

Like I said. Common error, being so certain of one's opinion one
erroneously believes it to be fact. You THINK it sucks, so much so
that you feel your BELIEF must represent FACT. Yet all it takes is
one person to say "No, it does not suck," to render your judgement
invalid.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "NeuroManson" <dogegoops@attbi.com>

When you see it, it will suck. Therefore you will find corroborating
evidence and then it shall become fact. QED.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Blackout" <blackout@4040subgenius.com>

"nenslo" wrote
> Like I said. Common error, being so certain of one's opinion one
> erroneously believes it to be fact. You THINK it sucks, so much so
> that you feel your BELIEF must represent FACT. Yet all it takes is
> one person to say "No, it does not suck," to render your judgement
> invalid.

that's YOUR opinion. Common error, being so certain of one's opinion one
erroneously believes it to be fact. You THINK all it takes is one person to
say "No, it does not suck," to render his judgement invalid but you have
become TRAPPED like a bug in amber by YOUR OWN CHINESE FINGERTRAP LOGIC.

in the real world, things often SUCK. take the massacres in Rwanda for
example. I'm sure a bunch of the people doing the hamstringing with the
machetes thought that it was one of the keenest times of their lives but it
still SUCKED.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

NeuroManson wrote:
> "nenslo" <nenslo@yahooX.com> wrote:
> > NeuroManson wrote:
> > > Well, downloaded the movie from alt.binaries.movies today, and let me
> tell
> > > you:
> >
> > No. I think it's pathetic that you even bothered. What are you,
> thirteen?
>
> Nope, but if I'm gonna hate a movie, I'm gonna watch it so I can PROPERLY
> hate it.

Well said.


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