ARISE redux -- Holy Fuck, Poop Dog

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>
Date: Sat, Nov 22, 2003

I just finished transfering our olden but best video, ARISE, from the
1" master into my computer so that I can render it to DVD.

And do some minor updates. URL, the second Bush, CDs instead of tapes
in the ad at the end, new address... that's what I was GONNA do... and
it's probably what I will do, at first.

But JIMINY CRICKETS! Wei and I watched that old thing run as I was
tranfering it and, as I half feared, I could think of ways to improve
every third shot using newer art, animation or devival footage. We have
CGI FLY-OVERS of DOBBSTOWN now for example, and footage of devivals
featuring giant Dobbsheads that BREATHE FIRE. And think how some of us
have HIDEOUSLY and SPECTACULARLY physically changed since the last cut
of ARISE (1991.) And all these female preachers that arose since ARISE.

The problem is, every third shot is A THOUSAND SHOTS. I could fiddle
with this thing FOREVER. Or at least for a couple of months. But,
GOT-DAMN IT, the whole idea was simply to GET THE FUCKING THING ONTO
DVD. PERIOD!!

So I guess I'll do an immediate DVD that's essentially the unchanged
old version, maybe just tack a nice message at the end about new
address, the website, etc. Then do other, later.

Besides, much to my surprise, I discovered that what I was transfering
IS a slightly updated version. Apparently Cordt added the changes to
the original master. (I also have a dupe master probably holding the
oldest version.)

There are two versions of ARISE: the 1987 original version, which is
what I have been selling on VHS for many years, and the 1991 "Polygram
version," which was distributed in the '90s. (Nightflight showed the
original 1987 version.) When Polygram bought the thing, or rather
inherited it when they bought Bananas Video, they FREAKED and insisted
we replace all the Cecil B. DeMille and Disney clips. Cordt Holland did
all that replacing. I rarely see this version and was startled while
transfering to see the first George Bush, and Saddam Hussein, where
there had been Disney clips and some Reagan shots.

The 1987 version is always packaged in a bright green box sleeve with a
big Dobbshead on the front -- designed by Dr. Howll to look much like a
box of detergent. This 1987 one -- only on VHS now -- still has the
clips that Polygram wanted removed.

The 1991 version, sometimes found in stores still, always comes in an
unbelieveably amateurish and shitty blue box with a crappy spaceship
looking thing on the front. The art was done by the son-in-law of the
idiot at Bananas Video who finally picked ARISE up for distribution.
Greatly against my wishes.

I dunno what kind of box the DVD will have. But it looks like after I
get an immediate version done, I will spend some time (!??!) picking it
to pieces and replacing a lot of the bad art shots and possibly a few
more Reagans. Also Papa Joe Mama's now defunkt 900 number has to be
removed. I'll probably take some shots from the 1987 version and put
them BACK into the movie.

While Wei and I were watching it she was marvelling at what BABIES we
all look like in this ancient footage. She has only known these people
since the 90s. However in ARISE there are shots of Hellpope Huey,
identified as such in subtitles, talking about Dobbs. In 1981. She
thought it was a joke. She couldn't believe this long haired youth was
the same Hellpope Huey she knows now. Since she herself doesn't age,
she has trouble reconciling these grainy images of smooth faces with
today's smooth images of grainy faces.

I'm debating whether to include ANY new shots of me in my Gray
Mansonian look of the present, or to stick only the old devival shots
and let video-only SubGenii continue to think of me as a clean shaven
26 year old with short hair and huge glasses. I love seeing the looks
on their faces when the horrible truth of the vast SubGenius time span
sinks in.

I'm alternating that ARISE bizness with trying to get some other new
swag ready for Xistlessnessmas. BobSongs 6, Mp3s Stash 2, Best-Of-ESO
2003 MP3 collection, Media Barrage 2, Hours of Slack Vol. 12 and 13 in
high res, maybe 66 MORE Hours of Slack in low res. Oh yeah and I DID
put together an hour's worth of new animation last month. Huh. Oh yeah
and I still haven't gotten a new old car much less had the dead iVan so
much as towed away and shot. Busy busy busy. Oh yeah and I gotta figure
out how the hell to utilize the new faces of SubSITE that St. Bucky
created without causing an avalanche. Turns out a lot of careful
tweaking is required, GOT damn it... I can't just drop it into place as
Bucky had hoped.

OH SHIT, the DETROIT POSTCARD MAILING! Must do, NOW!!

So this is why I haven't been exchanging pleasantries on a.s.etc. ...
trying to codify pleasantries and artistries already laid down, so as
to preserve and, better, to SELL them. I have 500 collaborators but
only 20 customers, but each of those 20 guys buys EVERYTHING WE DO...
so if I keep making things for those 20 guys, I can keep paying my half
of the bills. Otherwise I'd probably let all these incredible artworks
and sounds and notions, which *you* flood SubGeniusdom with, sit in
storage forever.

OH FUCK it's SATURDAY and technically I'm supposed to ALSO DO A NEW HoS
SHOW. Well fuck this shit. Rerun time again.

I hope that Amsterdam devival went well last night! I was thinking of
those guys. Come to think of it I was dubbing footage of those guys.

I also wanted to write reviews of all the FUCKING GREAT books I've been
reading, for the last two years, just for a.s., but hell. BILLS BILLS
BILLS and "BOB" must come first.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Artemia Salina <y2k@sheayright.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> I'm debating whether to include ANY new shots of me in my Gray
> Mansonian look of the present, or to stick only the old devival shots
> and let video-only SubGenii continue to think of me as a clean shaven
> 26 year old with short hair and huge glasses. I love seeing the looks
> on their faces when the horrible truth of the vast SubGenius time span
> sinks in.

What you should do is take a snap shot of yourself each year in exactly
the same pose, starting from when you were a little kid all the
way up until you're 90, and use that in the re-edit of ARISE as an
animation to age yourself at super high speed.

Failing that you could just round up Huey and yourself and re-shoot
some of the footage with the same lighting, lens angle, etc. doing
and saying the same things as in the original footage. Then interleave
the old and new footage to flick back and forth between young and old
versions of yourselves. Or even better (and maybe even easier), with
digital editing, briefly mask yourselves in and out of the original
footage at random points. At one moment you're young and healthy and
the next moment you're old and wrinkled and decrepit and smelly, like
in 2001: A Space Odyssey, kinda.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

The same effect happens if you fast-forward through the "AS THEY SEE
DOBBS" video (compilation of TV News reports on SubGenius, arrange
chronologically). It's like a time lapse of the flowers of SubGenius
youth sprouting and blooming, and then the petals starting to turn
sickly and falling off as it shrivels up.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> I just finished transfering our olden but best
> video, ARISE, from the 1" master into my computer
> so that I can render it to DVD...
>

Two words: "Director's Cut"

It's *how* long a movie, and a DVD will hold
*how* much stuff?

Geez, you've got so much stuff sitting around
that you could pack that sucker full, easy.
Won't cost anything more.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: polar bear <bear@pole.com>

"nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Two words: "Director's Cut"
>
Another word: Zelig.

Or, how can you be in two places at once,
when you're not anywhere at all?

pb

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Yeah... but again we're talking a lot of time. I was looking at those
ARISE shots where there's this static, raggedly-masked Dobbshead
crudely stuck over some jiggly stock stunt footage so it looks like
"Bob" is in the scene... only it doesn't really, of course. But now,
were we to round up all those original shots, we could PRECISELY MATCH
that Dobbshead to every frame-jump and camera-jiggle, match the
texture, the contrast, even the damn lighting, and believe me I
envision doing all of that stuff. Then I envision working on ONE STUPID
SHOT for FOUR HOURS. Then I think, uh yeah right. I'll wait until I'm
dead and then let some rich kid hire some other rich kids to do all
that crap, and I'll watch from Heaven.

I got the Detroit postcards to the P.O. with ONE MINUTE TO SPARE before
the last pick-up.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

Better yet, nail the dobbshead to the center of the shot so it, and
only it, stays constant in every scene. Everything whirls around it
and it stays eternally the same. Surely you can find some video kid
dumb enough to do that.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

Nenslo, you've made it way too complicated. You just CUT OUT A SMALL
PAPER DOBBSHEAD and STICK IT TO YOUR TV SCREEN. Then EVERYTHING you
watch has that Dobbshead appropriately nailed to it. DUH! Duh-EEEE!

Dok Frop and Sister Decadence have already been watching all their TV
shows that way, for years.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nu-monet v6.0 <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Two words: "Director's Cut"
>
> It's *how* long a movie, and a DVD will hold
> *how* much stuff?
>
> Geez, you've got so much stuff sitting around
> that you could pack that sucker full, easy.
> Won't cost anything more.

Eh well now that all depends. Those store-bought DVDs that hold three
versions of a movie plus the making-ofs are made quite differently from
the ones that we-all can make at home. Not the same format. Incredibly
expensive machines. I can create the 10 gb worth of stuff that goes in
it but it then has to be professionally duplicated, something we must
avoid in the quantities we're talking about. "Underground" DVDs like
we're talking about can only hold about 4 gb which is good for maybe
two hours at most, and then only if you compress the devil out of it.

It would indeed cost a bunch more per copy.

Ultimately what I have in mind is really majorly recutting ALL of our
stuff into a couple of different ARISE-ish-like new things and then
seeing if Troma wants it. They expressed interest in a revised
ARISE/StangFilms but I'd have to pay for the revising myself, and it's
only recently that I could do the right thing and just DO it myself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "nu-monet v6.0" <nothing@succeeds.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> Eh well now that all depends. Those store-bought
> DVDs that hold three versions of a movie plus the
> making-ofs are made quite differently from the
> ones that we-all can make at home. Not the same
> format.

Didn't know dat. Okay, well here's a "Plan B",
which I've no idea if it would work. Can you burn
a DVD with VCD-formatted files, and if so, would it
still hold a lot? That is, burn VCD format onto
a DVD that would play in a DVD player that can
also play VCD format.

Or, come to think of it, is that what you do?

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

nu-monet v6.0 <nothing@succeeds.com> wrote:
> Didn't know dat. Okay, well here's a "Plan B",
> which I've no idea if it would work. Can you burn
> a DVD with VCD-formatted files, and if so, would it
> still hold a lot? That is, burn VCD format onto
> a DVD that would play in a DVD player that can
> also play VCD format.
>
> Or, come to think of it, is that what you do?

No, but that CAN work (I just checked.) BUT -- not all DVD players play
VCDs, and not all computers play DVDs.

But yeah, one could cram a DVD with MPEGs, and then either just leave
it as that or put it all in a VCD "wrapper" on the DVD.

I have not been inclined to do that with VCDs but I have considered
making one single SubG DVD-R that had ALL our known video on it, in
highest-res RealMedia format. I know, I know, everybody but me hates
RM. Then one might also put a lot of DivX on a DVD. But... how many
people REALLY are gonna watch hours of video on their fucking
computers. (People who would BUY the $15 DVD, that is!)

I have already posted all the parts for a 5-hour sub VCD/DVD on a.b.s.,
so, maybe it's already been done, by some REAL geek, even geekier than
me.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Jeff Spicoli <tubes@dood.com>

Rev. Ivan Stang wrote:
> I just finished transfering our olden but best video, ARISE, from the
> 1" master into my computer so that I can render it to DVD.

<snip>

WTF! You gotta Sony BVH-2000 in your den?

Spi[oli

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: nenslo <nenslo@yahooX.com>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" wrote:
> I just finished transfering our olden but best video, ARISE, from the
> 1" master into my computer so that I can render it to DVD.
>
> And do some minor updates. URL, the second Bush, CDs instead of tapes
> in the ad at the end, new address... that's what I was GONNA do... and
> it's probably what I will do, at first.
>
> But JIMINY CRICKETS! Wei and I watched that old thing run as I was
> tranfering it and, as I half feared, I could think of ways to improve
> every third shot using newer art, animation or devival footage. We have
> CGI FLY-OVERS of DOBBSTOWN now for example, and footage of devivals
> featuring giant Dobbsheads that BREATHE FIRE. And think how some of us
> have HIDEOUSLY and SPECTACULARLY physically changed since the last cut
> of ARISE (1991.) And all these female preachers that arose since ARISE.
>
> The problem is, every third shot is A THOUSAND SHOTS. I could fiddle
> with this thing FOREVER. Or at least for a couple of months. But,
> GOT-DAMN IT, the whole idea was simply to GET THE FUCKING THING ONTO
> DVD. PERIOD!!

You could always do a Kenneth Anger on it and cut it down to seven
minutes. Then five. Then three.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

That is exactly what I did do with the 5XDay footage in order to get if
out of my fucking computer. I got it down from 90 to 70 to 20 to TWO
minutes, at which point it was actually pretty entertaining! Well, for
the first minute anyway.


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Original file name: ARISE redux -- Holy #192F07.txt - converted on Saturday, 25 September 2004, 02:05

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