God Damn Fucking Forced Slack Shit!

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subNOSPUMgenius.com>
Date: Sat, Jan 3, 2004

I understand that many of the most constant writers on this newsgroup
post from "WORK." From somebody's office building while "on the job." I
CAN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIGURE OUT HOW YOU DO IT. For the last 2 weeks
I've been on vacation, so to speak, at my folks' place in Texas. There
are two computers available. But I can't get on one for FIVE MINUTES
before some damn FAMILY MEMBER wants something, usually just my
attention for NO GOOD REASON other than to tell me SOMETHING NICE. Well
it's driving me fucking CRAZY.

I've been wanting to say THAT -- JUST THAT -- for DAYS now.

Okay. It's said. Now I feel slightly better.

But damn, I leave town for two weeks and everything goes to Hell. The
radio station plays the same Hour of Slack week after week because I
wasn't there each Thursday to REMOVE the ALREADY PLAYED SHOWS (and you
can't expect a busy college radio station DJ to, like, READ THE PLAY
DATES WRITTEN RIGHT ON THE CD or anything...) GAHHH!!! KREE-GAH
BUNDOLO!!

DAMN HOLIDAYS!!!

Normally I am in my home office alone all day and THAT IS SO WONDERFUL.
But... these... RELATIVES!! CAN THEY NOT LEAVE ME IN PEACE EVEN LONG
ENOUGH FOR ME TO JUST SIMPLY GRIPE AT ALT.SLACK?!?!? WHY CAN THEY NOT
RECOGNIZE THE NECESSITY OF SUCH?!?? Don't they realize how CRITICAL my
EMAIL BLITHERINGS are?!?

Oh -- they just did! Watching The Game.

But now I can't remember any of the pithy observations I had built up
these last few days. Oh well, fuck it.

I know that as soon as I'm at work in my Cleveland Heights office,
tomorrow, unbothered, THEN I'll wish I was still back in Involuntary
Slack, Texas, being FORCED to lounge around and Slack Off, being FORCED
to go on long nature hikes in weird dinosaur landscapes, being FORCED
to abuse habafropzipulops all damn day long.

I have to admit I did enjoy New Years in... OH FUCK HERE'S MY DAD
AGAIN, GRIPING ABOUT THE COMPUTER, MUST BE HALF TIME, AAARGH!!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: mshotz@aol.commonkeypo (Rev. Richard Skull)

>But damn, I leave town for two weeks and everything goes to Hell. The
>radio station plays the same Hour of Slack week after week because I
>wasn't there each Thursday to REMOVE the ALREADY PLAYED SHOWS (and you
>can't expect a busy college radio station DJ to, like, READ THE PLAY
>DATES WRITTEN RIGHT ON THE CD or anything...) GAHHH!!! KREE-GAH
>BUNDOLO!!

What... They have to be changed! Dude! I thought they were just like, you know,
downloaded automaticly.

>Normally I am in my home office alone all day and THAT IS SO WONDERFUL.
>But... these... RELATIVES!! CAN THEY NOT LEAVE ME IN PEACE EVEN LONG
>ENOUGH FOR ME TO JUST SIMPLY GRIPE AT ALT.SLACK?!?!? WHY CAN THEY NOT
>RECOGNIZE THE NECESSITY OF SUCH?!?? Don't they realize how CRITICAL my
>EMAIL BLITHERINGS are?!?

You need to move one of the computers into the excrediation chamber. There, why
pretending to be using the sacred throne of BoB, you can post in peace.

>Oh -- they just did! Watching The Game.
>
>But now I can't remember any of the pithy observations I had built up
>these last few days. Oh well, fuck it.

Hey. I can't find my cars key half the time!

>I know that as soon as I'm at work in my Cleveland Heights office,
>tomorrow, unbothered, THEN I'll wish I was still back in Involuntary
>Slack, Texas, being FORCED to lounge around and Slack Off, being FORCED
>to go on long nature hikes in weird dinosaur landscapes, being FORCED
>to abuse habafropzipulops all damn day long.

The problem with us is we work too hard to truly slack off. I just spent all
day hammering, sawing and other truly acts of the manly carpentry arts to fix
my niece's trailer that has had water damage to the floors & walls.

I would normaly be slacking off at home , especially now as I have broncitus.
But in my truly good nature, and the fact her dad is a no good drunk who has
only seen his grandkids about twice in their own lives, I feel I have to give
slack to get slack.

Tomorrow, after I put up the last peice of panaling, I will recived much slack
from my two great-nephews as we act out Suess's classic "hop on Pop". Which the
part of Pop being played by me. That is true slack!

>I have to admit I did enjoy New Years in... OH FUCK HERE'S MY DAD
>AGAIN, GRIPING ABOUT THE COMPUTER, MUST BE HALF TIME, AAARGH!!!

The trouble is, they think since you came all the way down to Texas to see
them, they want to maximise the seeing before you leave.

MSHOTZ: The Post Post Modern Man

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "iDRMRSR" <idrmrsr@subgenius.com>

>>What... They have to be changed! Dude! I thought they were just like, you
know,
downloaded automaticly.

No, that doesn't happen generally until 2015, when dependence upon physical
recording media becomes entirely a thing of the past.

[*]
-----

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com>

JARTO <TTFlat-6@QuadCam.com> wrote:
> |}I have to admit I did enjoy New Years in... OH FUCK HERE'S MY DAD
> |}AGAIN, GRIPING ABOUT THE COMPUTER, MUST BE HALF TIME, AAARGH!!!
>
> Staying in on New Years Eve can slackful depending on the context. So
> can going out.

I was about to type, "I have to admit I did enjoy New Years in Fort
Worth seeing The NecroTones with Pater Nostril, Dok Frop, Sister
Decadence & friends," but my dad interrupted me.

I could have kept on typing, but I was tired, and used my dad as an
excuse.

Now I'm home again, and have to re-do my personal alt.slack killfilters
because the assholes keep changing their names to avoid everybody's
killfilters. It's funny, though, to see all these threads that consist
of ONLY THE THREE KILLFILED ASSHOLES blithering at each other -- with
the occasional insult from Dynasoar, the just-returned old-timer who
couldn't resist, but soon will, I'm sure. Everyone eventually learns
that the ONLY way to make the assholes go away is to ignore them.
Telling them what you think of them just fills them with the thrill of
Being Noticed.

"Bob" predicted early on that there would be Pinkish Ninnies and
ImaBobs who would mistake their own verbal diarrhea of silliness for
the Bold Surrealism of the SubGenii. For once he was way too right yet
not lying.

When they're ignored and insulted, the ImaBobs and GimmeBobs whine that
it's "censorship," even though no one has stopped them from being
stupid in public.

However, there's no rule in the SubGenius Handbook that says any
SubGenius has to be polite to any other SubGenius. There IS a
suggestion that we must Unmask the False Prophets. And so I will
reiterate that I personally consider Purple, Meow/Madgello and
"Gurdjieff" to be at best irritating idiots, and again I would suggest
that persons who want to enjoy alt.slack will have a better time of it
if they apply their killfilters to those three. Many SubGenii do not
know yet that they HAVE kill filters, and that they're PAINFULLY EASY
to apply, which is why I mention it again.

IMPORTANT NOTE: YOU CAN KILLFILE ME JUST AS EASILY AS YOU CAN FILLFILE
THEM!

One reason I don't put a "web forum" on SubSITE is because then I would
have the OPTION , and eventually the NEED, to CENSOR it. I like
alt.slack (and usenet in general) BECAUSE it is not moderated and can't
be censored. We all have the same rights here. EVEN *I*I have those
same rights! Same as Gurdjieff, Purple and Meow, I can say right out
loud when I think somebody is an idiot. AND THEY CAN'T DO A DAMN THING
ABOUT IT but say I'm an idiot. And accuse me of censorship,
idiotically.

Another thing they'll say is that the ONLY reason that so very many
other people ALSO ignore or insult them is because those SHEEP-LIKE
FOLLOWER TYPES ARE OBEYING MY ORDERS like GOOD LITTLE ZOMBIES. Well,
GEE WHIZ -- if so many other "SubGenii" are following my Hitlerian
orders so mindlessly, DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD FIND ANOTHER CLIQUE OF
GEEKS TO ASSOCIATE WITH?!? If all those people who've killfiled you are
sheeplike Stang-zombies, THEN WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING WITH THEM?? There
are a thousand other newsgroups out there full of DEVOTED NON-ZOMBIES
who have never even HEARD of "Bob" much less me, so WHY NOT GO LET
*THEM" IGNORE YOU?

Even better -- why don't the three killfiled fuckheads FORM THEIR OWN
NEWSGROUP? Or website? alt.fan.purple-meow-gurd-unmoderated! GO FOR IT!
That would be a great experiment. A noble experiment. Free discourse
could finally occur between these three great thinkers, these master
satirists for our times, without extraneous insults and criticism from
sheeplike Stang Zombies. Hell, you don't even need J.R. "Bob" Dobbs --
you've got Bob Dobbs, the Canadian Slack Master! YOU COULD START YOUR
OWN RELIGION!! Go for it! It's easy! Everybody'd doing it!

****

Well ANYWAY.

Just as I predicted, as soon as I got home, I wanted to turn around and
go right back to Texas. It was so WARM there. We spent half our time
wandering around the Back 40 in t-shirts. Here in Cleveland it's
snowing and yukky. In Texas I had a half-excuse to blow off all my
chores. Now that I'm home I have to confront the chores again (Hours of
Slack, ARISE DVD, ads for the 10 new CDs and CD-Rs, work on St. Bucky's
work-saver, etc. etc.). Those are all FUN chores, it's just that there
are SO MANY of them.

First I will snowshoe my way to the Post Office and pick up the
numerous boxes of stuff which are said to await me. Then I must get
that damn Hour of Slack going. God damn it -- I just remembered -- Chaz
quit doing his Thursday show and I said I'd take over!! OH FUCK!!!
GREAT! *TWO* shows a week. Oh, that'd be a REAL time-saver.

(((CHANGE OF PLANS! I just called the station and it seems Chaz is NOT
quitting his show. *WHEW*!!)))

HOMELAND SECURITY NEWS

They're ON it. I traveled by air on Dec. 23 and on Jan. 5. I saw LESS
security at the airports than normal. But, when we got home last night,
and started to unpack, LO AND BEHOLD if the very HOMELAND SECUROTY
ADMINISTRATION ITSELF hadn't thought my two pieces of luggage
suspicious and OPENED THEM for inspection. And I had that one suitcase
completely sealed with duct tape. But there was a shiny blue Homeland
Sec sticker on it saying it had been opened. The duct tape didn't look
disturbed. The contents didn't look disturbed. The suitcase must mostly
filled with carefully-wrapped GLASS JARS of PICKLED CACTUS and JALAPENO
JELLY and other foodstuffs, and CD-Rs. But thank God they didn't take
my MAN CD. Or recognize my box of "WAREZ" CD-Rs. Good thing it was
Homeland Security and not the RIAA or Adobe, or I'd be in some DEEP
SHIT.

--
4th Stangian Orthodox MegaFisTemple Lodge of the Wrath of Dobbs Yeti,
Resurrected (Rev. Ivan Stang, prop.)
PRABOB

----------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Doktor DynaSoar <targeting@OMCL.mil>

"Rev. Ivan Stang" <stang@subgenius.com> wrote:
} because the assholes keep changing their names to avoid everybody's
} killfilters. It's funny, though, to see all these threads that consist
} of ONLY THE THREE KILLFILED ASSHOLES blithering at each other -- with
} the occasional insult from Dynasoar, the just-returned old-timer who
} couldn't resist, but soon will, I'm sure.

"Hate everybody equally." You taught me that, Padre.

Besides, I need the target practice. I'm just getting my psyops legs
under me again.


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